“I’ve already left her,” he ground out.
“Then you definitely need time. You need distance and clarity because I need to know you’re in this one hundred percent.” My hand fluttered to my chest, resting over my thumping heart. “I need to know that you mean what you say, to be able to trust you, because right now, I don’t believe a word coming out of your mouth.”
His dark-brown-eyed gaze didn’t move off mine, and I showed him I meant every word I’d said. I refused to be the backup plan. I wouldn’t let myself get put through the wringer, but more importantly, I wouldn't do that to our baby.
I desperately wanted to tell him—to show him the ultrasound picture from a few weeks ago. To explain how I was ten weeks along and that the heartburn was killing me. But I couldn’t—not yet. He needed to figure out what he wanted first, and then we could talk.
“Actions speak louder than words,” he croaked out and nodded. “I’ll prove it to you.” He spun around, walked to the door, pulled it open, and left.
Only then did I let the tears fall.
Chapter Eleven
BRODY
I’d been naive to think I could turn up at Lola’s apartment and that she’d be waiting there with open arms. I’d hurt her. I’d hurt the one person who mattered most in this world, and now I had to fix it.
Actions speak louder than words.
She was right. I could have talked until I was blue in the face, but she needed me to show her I meant what I’d said. She needed proof that she wasn’t second. She’d never be second prize to me.
The first thing I had to do was explain it to Moira and Cade and leave the house. I hadn’t gone back last night. Instead, I’d stayed at a hotel because Lola was right. I needed clarity. There was no doubt in my mind how I felt about her, but she wasn’t the only one in this situation.
I walked inside the house and pushed my keys into my pocket. It was so silent, I wondered if anyone was here, but Moira’s SUV in the driveway told me she was.
My footsteps pounded on the floors as I walked into the living room, spotting Cade half lying on the sofa as he watched TV.
“Cade.”
His head lifted, and he clicked pause. “Dad.” He puffed out a breath. “Are you finally here to get your things?”
I frowned at him. “What?”
“Jeez, Dad.” He sat up, looking just as tired as I felt. “Even I know that you two shouldn’t be together. All you do is argue when you’re home. It’s okay for a day or two, and then”—he made a bursting motion with his hands—“bam. Arguing again.”
“Son—”
“You know you’re making it worse by staying. You know that, right?”
“I—”
“Go to your room, Cade.” Moira’s voice was like whiplash, and I spun around to face her. Her face was perfectly made up, not a hair out of place on her head, and her clothes pristine. She didn’t look like a woman who was hurting. She didn’t look like a woman who was feeling anything.
“I’m good here,” Cade said. “I’ll only listen if I go up anyway. May as well hear it from the same room.”
“Cade,” Moira warned.
“He’s right,” I said, not letting Moira get another word out. “He should know what’s happening.”
Moira scoffed, placed her hands on her hips, and raised a perfectly styled brow. “You want your son to know you’ve been fucking the waitress from the diner?”
“Jesus Christ, Moira,” I spat. “Do you have to be so—”
“Honest?” she interrupted. “You want me to stand here and pretend that it’s okay? I gave you the chance yesterday, and you shit all over it. So you can get your things and get the hell out of my house.”
“Your house?” I laughed. “I pay for every goddamn thing in this house.” Her face crumbled, and I cursed. “Shit, Moira, I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole.”
“Yeah, you are,” Cade answered for her.
“I’ll leave, but I just…I needed to tell you I’m sorry.” She stared at me like I was nothing, and part of me relished in that. If she were screaming and crying, I’d have second-guessed myself, but Cade was right: we hadn’t been a real couple for years. It wasn’t an excuse, but we’d been pussyfooting around it and pretending it wasn’t happening.
“For what?” Moira asked. “What exactly are you sorry for, Brody?”
“For being away so much that we didn’t stand a chance.” I pulled in a breath and flicked my gaze to Cade, who was watching us with wide eyes. “For not being the dad I should have been to Cade.” I looked back at Moira. “For letting you down.”
“And…”
I frowned. “And what?”
“For cheating on me.”
“I…” I blinked, not prepared to lie anymore. I’d done enough of that to last a lifetime. “I’m sorry for hurting you, but I can’t be sorry for it. She—”
“Jesus,” Moira hissed. “You’re in love with her.”
I nodded, my words caught in my throat. I never thought I’d be standing across from my wife and telling her I was in love with someone else. But here I was, not a doubt in my mind about how I felt.
“Who?” Cade asked, and I looked over at him. He wasn’t sitting there like a sullen teenager anymore. He was standing, his face getting redder the longer we talked.
“Lola,” I told him, not willing to deny it. She’d wanted actions, and even though she couldn’t see these, I knew I’d done them. I was trying to do the right thing, and that meant transparency.
“Lola,” Cade repeated. “As in my Lola?”
Moira laughed, the sound echoing around the room. “Jesus, she has you both under her spell. Can you not see that she’s a goddamn whore?”
“Don’t,” I warned her. “She had no idea I was married. I was undercover for fuck’s sake.”
“Yeah, okay.” Moira pursed her lips. “I’m over it, and I’m over you. You think you’re the only one who’s been having his fun?”
“Mom?”
She ignored Cade and kept going. “You think I was going to sit around and wait for you to keep coming home? I have my needs, Brody, and you weren’t meeting them.”
I wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth, or if she wanted to hurt me, but I found myself not caring. I didn’t care if she’d slept with other people. I didn’t care if she had a boyfriend. I just...didn’t care.
I turned to face Cade. “I’m going to get my own place, son. If you want to come and stay—”
“It’s about time you became a father. God knows you haven’t since the moment he was born,” Moira snipped.
I took two steps toward her, having had enough. She had every right to be angry at me, but that didn’t mean she could use Cade to punish me. “I’m gonna say this once, and once only. You will not interfere with my and Cade’s relationship. I know I hurt you, and from the looks of things, you have no right to be angry, but that doesn’t mean he has to be stuck in the middle. He’s my son too, and I’ve done everything I can to provide for both of you. Don’t belittle everything I’ve done just because you’re angry.”
She huffed out a breath and twirled around. “Whatever. Be gone by the time I get home.” Her heels clicked along the floor as she walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
“Dad?”
“Son.” I scrubbed my hand over my face and through my hair, feeling a stress headache coming on. “As I was saying—”
“Why would you do that? Why would you sleep with Lola?”
“I know I hurt your mom, but—”
“You don’t get it.” His hands clenched at his sides. “I liked her, Dad.” His shoulders slumped, and he looked down at the floor. “I liked her.”
My eyes widened. “Wait...do you have a crush on Lola?” A laugh bubbled up inside me, and I did all that I could to keep it down. I didn’t find it funny that he had a crush on her, but it was the situation as a whole. I’d hurt Moira by cheating on her, destroyed Lola by walking away from her, and harmed
Cade by loving the woman he was crushing on.
Jesus. I just couldn’t catch a break.
* * *
LOLA
It had been five days since Brody turned up at my apartment and told me he’d left Moira. Four days since Cade looked at or spoke to me, and two days without heartburn. I wasn’t sure which one was more prevalent in my mind, but all three were taking up some space.
I wasn’t sure what happened with Brody and me from here. I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right decision. Maybe I should have welcomed him with open arms, but then I’d have been telling him it was okay to do what he did. You could love someone, but that didn’t mean you had to like what they did. I’d learned that lesson with Hut a long time ago.
I walked out of the kitchen and into the main section of the diner, ready to start my late shift of the day. I wasn’t sure how I’d get by without the afternoon nap I’d taken to having, but I’d deal.
Footsteps sounded behind me, and I turned to see Cade with his bag over his shoulder. “Hey, Cade.” I smiled, big and wide, just for him, but he didn’t even glance at me.
He knew. He definitely knew. Maybe Brody had been telling the truth when he came to my place. I swallowed down the lump building in my throat and shook my head. I couldn’t think about it right now, not when—
“Lola,” a sweet voice greeted.
My heart hammered in my chest, my palms starting to sweat. If Cade knew, then Moira did too, and now she was standing in front of me.
“Erm…”
Cade ran into my back, shoving me forward a step, but his hand cupping my elbow righted me. His gaze flicked over my face and then to the woman in front of us. “Mom?” He straightened and let me go, stepping to the side. “What are you doing here?”
“Picking you up.” She shrugged, her long lashes fluttering against her cheeks as she blinked. “I thought I’d also come and say hi to the girl who ruined my marriage.” She said it so lightly that anyone would think we were talking about the weather.
We were next to the counter, and anyone ordering food from there would be able to hear what we were saying. I didn’t want or need anyone knowing my business, because they’d take what she said at face value. The details wouldn’t matter. All they’d hear is that I was the person Brody had cheated on his wife with, and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to be sorry.
“Jesus, Mom. We talked about this.”
Moira glanced at Cade, the sweet look she had on her face disappearing in the blink of an eye. “And I told you that this has nothing to do with you. You’re a kid, just like she is. This is grown-up stuff. Go to the car.”
“Hey,” I said, not liking the way she was talking to him. He was her son, but she’d just schooled him when there was no need. “There’s no need to talk to him like that.”
She whipped her attention my way, and my body craved to take a step back. “You think you can tell me how I can talk to my son?” Her voice was getting louder and louder. “You think because my husband put his cock in you that you can take my place?”
“No, I...you…” My face was burning so much you could have fried an egg on my cheeks. People’s attention was on us, and they were all witnessing what was happening.
“Moira,” Sal’s deep voice came from behind us. “I think it’d be best if you left.”
Moira pushed her shoulders back and flipped her hair behind her. “Did you know all along, Sal? Huh? Did you know my husband was sleeping with this whore?”
Sal moved past us, slipping between me and Cade and Moira, effectively erecting a wall she couldn’t get past. “What I know is that this girl has been through enough.” He lowered his voice. “What I know is that she had no idea Brody was married.” I frowned. I hadn’t told him that. In fact, I hadn’t told him anything about Brody. “What I know is that you’re going to walk out of my diner and not come back in if you can’t be nice. These are my staff, and you don’t fuck with what’s mine.”
“How dare—”
“Just go, Mom,” Cade huffed, his breath hitting the side of my neck. “Dad’s picking me up anyway. I told you I was going to help him move into his new place.”
Moira’s nostrils flared as her chest moved on a deep inhale, and then she zoned her attention in on me over Sal’s shoulder. “You’ll pay for this. What goes around comes around, and karma is a bitch.”
I wanted to tell her I’d paid for many things over and over again in my nearly twenty years of life, but I didn’t. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t look away as she spun around and walked out of the diner.
My body swayed to the side, and my stomach churned. It wasn’t the confrontation that had me feeling like I was about to throw up all over the place, but the baby inside my stomach that only Jan knew about.
I turned and ran for the bathroom, hoping like hell it didn’t come out until I was safely over a toilet. And I just about made it, my knees hitting the cold tile as I brought up the lunch I’d eaten only an hour ago.
Tears burned a path down my cheeks, and I held on to the sides of the toilet like I’d float away if I didn’t. I’d been close enough to toilet bowls in the last few weeks to last me a lifetime, and I had a feeling it wouldn't be letting up anytime soon.
When nothing else was coming up, and all that was left was dry heaves, I flushed the toilet and leaned back against the stall door.
Everything was a mess, but there was one shining beacon within it all. Brody had been telling the truth. He really had left his wife. And as I replayed the conversation in my head, I realized he was moving into a new place too. He was doing the actions I’d said I needed to see.
“Lola?” Jan’s small voice called. “You okay, hon?”
I lifted up off the floor and flicked the lock. Her sad face came into view. “Yeah. Just throwing my guts up again.” I tried to laugh, but the sound fell flat.
“I meant about what happened out there,” Jan said, hooking her thumb behind her.
I moved toward the sink and cupped my hand under the running water. “How much did you hear?” I stared at her reflection in the mirror.
“All of it.” She winced but didn’t say anything else.
I blew out a breath and splashed my face with some water. “I didn’t know he was married.” I swallowed and spun around to face her. “I fell in love with him and then found out he was married. If I’d have known, I never would have—”
“I know.” Jan waved her hand in the air and stepped forward. “I take it the baby is his?”
My hand moved to my stomach automatically. “Yeah. But…he doesn’t know yet.”
Jan nodded. “And you’re going to tell him, right?”
“Yeah.” I blinked several times. “I just don’t know how.”
“It’s easy,” Jan said. “I’m pregnant. There. Done.”
I laughed, and this time it was real, not a fake sound in sight. “I just don’t want him to think he has to be with me because of the baby. Like…” I worried my bottom lip and looked down at the floor. “He came to me and said he left his wife, but I didn’t believe him, and now…”
“Now it’s confirmed.” Jan placed her hand on my arm, and I looked up at her. “We all make mistakes, hon. It’s how we rectify and learn from them that matters.” She flashed me a small smile. “Tell him what you just told me. You won’t know what’s going to happen until you do.”
I stared at her, listening to every word she said, and I knew she was right. I couldn’t keep this a secret anymore. I was only a few days off from the twelve-week mark, and I’d be out of the “danger” zone. I couldn’t preach to Brody about being honest while I was holding on to a huge secret myself. It was time to come clean to him. He was showing me that his words meant something, now it was time for me to meet him halfway.
* * *
BRODY
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, trying in vain not to look through the windows of the diner. If I saw her face, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stay away and not go in to her.
I was trying to do what she’d said: give us time and space.
The problem with that was the more space I gave her, the more I wanted to drive over to her place and wrap my arms around her. I’d never questioned how I felt about her. I’d told her that day in her apartment I loved her, and I meant it. It was always about doing what I thought was right. But what was right and wrong in the grand scheme of things?
Was it wrong to love someone so much you felt the ache in your chest when you weren’t around them?
Was it right to stay with a woman you didn’t love like you used to because, by law, you were meant to stick by her?
Was it wrong to need someone else’s touch so much that you thought you’d die without it?
Movement from toward the back of the diner gained my attention, and I spotted Sal heading right for my car. I pushed my door open, frowning at the grim expression on his face. “Sal? Everything okay?”
“Cade’s in my trailer. He’ll be out in a minute.” I planted my hands on my hips as he halted a few feet away from me. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Okay.”
“Moira showed up here.”
“Shit.” I let my head drop back and groaned. I had a feeling that day in the living room wasn’t the end of it. “Did she say anything to—”
“Lola?” Sal interrupted, and I looked back at him. “She did. Exact words were ‘You think because my husband put his cock in you that you can take my place?’”
“Fuck!” I slammed my door closed and took a step toward the diner. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, not after all the lies I’d told and secrets I’d kept, but that didn’t mean Moira could do that. She’d practically admitted she’d cheated on me too—not that it was an excuse—so why did she care so much?
“No.” Sal’s large hand gripped my shoulder, squeezing to halt me. “Leave her alone.”
“You trying to tell me to back off, Sal?” I growled. He’d become a close friend over the years, and even though things hadn’t been the best between us since I’d been back, he had no right to warn me off Lola.
Down Fall: Fallen Duet: Book Two Page 11