CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: The Culmination
Rachel stood on Molesworth Street.
The iron bars were in front of her – the Parliament gardens behind. The Army were still in there – patrolling, now, backwards and forwards. They reminded her uncannily of the Changing of the Guard outside Buckingham Palace.
The New Zealand flag was at half-mast – and, alongside this, at full mast, was the British flag: the Union Jack! The flag of the Queen.
The Governor General now was in absolute power over the nation. The Army had been stationed at key locations across New Zealand, and the police were working closely alongside. Everyone had seen the shootings at Parliament! Everyone knew now they must not resist.
Her father had entered into the Beehive, to gather his belongings. Rachel waited outside the gate. Why was she there? She had known she must come.
People had died there. What had happened to their bodies? Surely the Army had made the necessary arrangements. And…and Joshua had died there.
Rachel wandered over to the intersection now – the place where he had died. She crouched down to the ground. His blood was still there! Swallowing, she reached out to touch the stain on the concrete. Gone! He was gone.
She lifted her eyes now to look at St Peter’s. Had they taken his body there? Had they given him a service? Even buried him? She had missed it all! The one funeral she absolutely should have been at – she had missed it!
She wanted to visit him now – to see his grave. And then, at that moment, someone emerged from a gate alongside the church.
It was John.
His eyes quickly found her. His face was lit up with joy! How could it be? Actual joy! He rushed to her – he lifted her off her feet, away from the ground: away from the place of death.
“Rachel!” he cried. “Have I got something to tell you!”
Rachel frowned at him – her head started to hurt.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “It’s only been a few days since he died.”
“Yes!” he said. “And everything’s okay now!”
“What do you mean?”
“He came back! He came back!”
Rachel stared at him. Delirium. She reached to grasp his arms, now back on her feet.
“Oh, John,” she murmured, “it’s okay! It’s okay…”
“I saw him!” he said, his face radiant.
“In a vision,” Rachel said.
“I touched him!” John said. “He put my fingers on his wounds.”
“What?” Rachel shook her head, to clear it. “What are you saying?”
“I saw him, Rachel!” Now his face was very close to hers. “I felt his body, as surely as you feel mine now.” And he reached, and grasped her fingers, and slipped them through his shirt, to his chest.
Rachel’s heart suddenly pounded fast. She tried to draw her fingers away, but John was holding her hand on his chest.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“Away!” Rachel said. “I had to get away!”
“Why?” John asked. “Why for so long?”
There was a new strength to him – a kind of fire, a passion, a certainty: risk taking! Daring…
“I couldn’t bear his death,” she whispered, and now his hands were taking her face between them: now his eyes were looking at her lips.
“He’s alive,” he whispered, and his face lit up into a majestic smile. “He’s alive.”
“It can’t be,” she whispered back, and his fingers were moving through her hair.
“That’s kind of the point,” he said with a grin. “That’s the beauty of it.”
“Five bullets. Oh, John!” She sobbed, and now his expression changed to compassion – now he gently kissed her forehead.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. “It’s over now.”
He was reaching into his pocket – he pulled out something.
“Five bullets,” he murmured gently – and now he reached for her hands, and laid them onto her palm.
Rachel stiffened. The five bullets! Deformed! Used!
“John,” she gasped, “what have you done?”
But now he was curving her fingers over the bullets – now he was drawing her hands onto his chest, over his shirt.
“Nothing,” he whispered ardently – his eyes wholly genuine. “I promise, Rachel, on my life: I didn’t do anything to his body. He gave these to me.”
Rachel stared into his eyes. Was he really saying it?
“Where’s the scientist now?” John said. “Rau and I both saw him – we both felt him! The grave is empty. He gave me these bullets…”
Now Rachel began to feel a deep panic rising up from within her, but now John was breathing over her.
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “You don’t have to be afraid.”
“Evidence.”
“I’m giving you the evidence.”
“Give me more.”
“I am more evidence!” His warm breath on her face was quickening! Quickening. “I was dead, with him! And now I’m alive, with him…”
Her body was aching for him; her soul was aching for his words. He was transformed! From agony, to ecstasy!
“Stay with me,” John whispered. “Give me your mind. Give me your science! Join with me, and we can make this miracle known to the world.”
“Give me everything you have,” Rachel whispered. “Tell me everything you know.”
“Everything,” John whispered. “I’ll give you everything.”
And their mouths were together – their passion joined.
His strength was within her – his certainty! His faith! Stronger, than her horror! Stronger than her fear! His love was inside of her – stronger than her bitterness! Stronger than her hatred.
Her certainty she gave to him! The death! Certain death! His certainty he gave to her: he was alive again! Joshua was alive.
They kissed: their hearts were one. And then John was reaching for her left hand – even as he kissed her, even as her eyes were closed, feeling his heart, feeling his passion, she felt his fingers reaching for hers.
“Marry me,” he whispered into her ear – and on her finger was a greenstone ring. “I found it just now, in the church.”
Rachel gazed at him. “We only met a short time ago…”
“That doesn’t matter,” John said. “We both know it is right.”
“So soon…”
“There isn’t much time.” He grasped her hands again to his chest. “It’s going to get dangerous, Rachel! Love means loyalty! Love means commitment! Until death! Until death.”
There was no other way, with him! His entire being! Body and soul, and…and spirit…
“He owns you,” Rachel whispered, “more than I! Always, he will own you more than I.”
“Yes,” John whispered. “Always.”
“My love for him will never be as strong.”
“I understand.”
“I don’t get God! Only Joshua.”
“Understood. But I have to ask you, Rachel.”
“What is it?”
“Look with your eyes! Listen with your ears! Think, with your mind, and feel with your heart.”
“My heart?”
“Search for the truth, Rachel – be a good scientist! Search for the truth, even where you didn’t expect to find it! Even if it surprises you – even if it shakes everything that you believe!”
Her heart was pounding hard, captured, as he continued.
“Show courage, and join with me!” he said. “Be my wife.”
Rachel gazed at him. She glanced down at the ground, at the blood left there. She glanced up at the church. And then she looked back to John.
His eyes were lit – vibrant with purpose and love. Suddenly he had emerged, overnight! Suddenly he had become the one she could marry.
“Stay with me,” she whispered. “Stay with me, and join with me: be my strength – be my light.”
“I will,” John whispered over her. “I will stay. And stay wi
th me! Stay with me, and join with me: be my wisdom – be my love.”
Their mouths were one, their bodies drawn together. His ring was on her finger.
They were whole.
A New Kind of Zeal Page 41