The Land of Trademark Online

by Nikolai Chekhov

  “Why?”

  “There is no natural way to level more than once a day. Not even veteran players can reach max level within twenty days—it’s nearly impossible. However, there are two ways to speed it up; one is to exploit the [Mentor] system, which is allowed. But if any money changes hands, both players are banned. Second, players—sorry, [Authors]—can convert XP into [XP Coins] at a 100 to 1 ratio, but these coins are [Soulbound], meaning they cannot be traded to other [Authors]. We allow this as a reward to people who have dedicated themselves to the game. But again, only one level per day. Twenty days to max level is more than reward enough.”

  “So it’s not penalizing anyone?”

  “Nope, everyone wins, and we’ve had no complaints about the feature.”

  “Who are you?”

  “I am the system. Now, back to Alternate Experience Purchases. Every level you will have a series of options for purchase. Skills become available if criteria is met. These purchases may have a restriction or requirement. You paying attention, dummy? This means if the restriction is level based, and you are no longer that level, that purchase is locked forever. It will not be available again. We will notify you if you are about to do something stupid.”

  “Dummy?” I asked, but the system did not reply. “I get it, pay attention.”

  “Superb. One last tip, and it’s a good one. After level 5, if you cannot spend the experience, I recommend you purchase [XP Coins] or put it towards your next level. If you die, you will lose 50% of your unspent experience on your first death, and 5% each death after for a maximum of 75% of your unspent experience.”

  “Are you messing with me? Why would I buy [XP Coins]? That math does not add up. If I converted a 1,000 XP into coins, I’d only have 10 XP. Even if I died a lot, the maximum experience points I could lose is 750, and I’d still have 250 XP at the end of the day. And 250 XP is way better than the 10 XP you recommended, what gives?”

  “Well look at that, the monkey can do math.”

  “What the hell?” Silence greeted me, and the window in front of me changed.

  [Experience Summary:

  Current Level: 1

  Unspent Experience: 573 XP

  Experience needed for level 2: 500 XP

  How would you like to spend your Experience?]

  I was still mad that the system tried to screw me over, but I made notes in the margins to be careful of level 5, especially with BanHammer killing me every chance he gets. First, I needed to level and see what other options I had.

  “Purchase level two.”

  [Experience Summary:

  Current Level: 2

  Unspent Experience: 73 XP

  Experience needed for level 3: 1500 XP

  Alternate Experience Purchases:

  —One Time Purchases—

  Level 2:

  +1 Attribute of your choice (Cost: 500 XP)

  +5 Acclimation Points in any skill of your choice (Cost: 500 XP)

  Any Level:

  Author Skill (Cost: 50 XP | Skill is randomly selected)

  —Unlimited Purchases—

  +1 XP Coin (Cost: 100 XP)

  How would you like to spend your Experience?]

  There was a lot of information there. Rather than wait, I purchased my [Author Skill].

  [You have purchased your Author Skill. It will not assign it until after you confirm your choices. You have 23 XP left. You do not have enough experience to purchase any more levels, bonuses, or perks. Do you wish to lock in your choices or undo them and start over?]

  “I confirm my choices.” I wondered what would happen next. It was nice that I could see the changes I made before confirming, and I assumed reset would let me undo anything I did during this session.

  [Choices confirmed.

  You are now Level 2.

  You gained your author ability: PoV Shift

  You now have 2 Attributes to distribute.

  Hit Points (HP) increased by 8 (HP: 29)

  Mana increased by 6 (MP: 21)

  Common Skills available for a Monk at this level are: [Throw] and [Improved Movement]

  OTM: We list base skills found on trainers in your level up windows. It will not mention the skills you need to find, earn, or learn.]

  No wonder they made sure I was vigilant.

  “Assign my two free attribute points to Agility.” The changes were immediate. The change impacted both my body and mind; I noticed my thoughts came faster and clearer. “What is [PoV Shift]?”

  [Agility +2]

  “All skills are coming up. Just click the skills tile if you are done leveling.” So the jerk was still here but ignored me. The only thing I couldn’t wrap my head around was whether the disembodied voice was in my head or echoing around my ears.

  Clicking on the Skills tile, I saw several categories, but only the [Unacknowledged Skills] tile was blinking. The current skill’s tile also looked helpful, and the little explanations for each tile said it also listed my [Acclimation Ranks].

  [Unacknowledged Skills:

  Author Skill: PoV Shift

  Skill Rank: Novice (Ranks up by circumstance)

  Type: Unknown

  Effect: Unknown - When it triggers for the first time, we will provide a guide to help you understand what is happening.

  One Time Message (OTM): Most Author Skills start out as obscure and evolve. Their evolution and use are unique to everyone. Another [Author] may get PoV Shift, but it will rarely grow in the same way. When the information above is triggered or revealed, this entry will update.

  Trade Skill: Alchemy

  Skill Rank: Novice (Next Rank: 15 AP)

  Acclimation Points (AP): 12

  Details: Alchemy is the study of ingredients and their transformation. A lot of raw ingredients are already potent remedies, poisons, and more. Alchemy combines and transforms ingredients using both menial and mana methods to create something new. These new items are more powerful than the sum of its components. Example of products produced: Potions, Powders, Poisons, etc.

  One Time Message (OTM): You may change your profession from the starting profession Handyman at any time. After you have switched to an advanced profession, you may only change this once a week. All trades may be learned, but only one may be your profession.]

  Only two skills? Strange, I figured I’d have others, but I acknowledged, or at least read the descriptions of the others.

  The details on [PoV Shift] were horrid, and I did not understand how it ranked up, triggered, or what it did. It also sounded like there was no I could ask because it differed for everyone. Nothing I could do about it now, but after acknowledging [Alchemy], I noticed a [Profession] tile appeared on the main menu off to the left of my vision. Curious, I tapped that next.

  [Do you wish to change your Profession to Alchemist?]

  “Shit tits!” I felt a twinge in my brain before the words slipped out of my mouth. Not sure what that meant, but maybe I could control those outbursts. “Yes, change profession to Alchemist.”

  [Profession Information:

  Alchemists are more than just potion makers. They have the ability to create tonics, tinctures, vials, powders, pills, and more. They are one of the few professions that will be able to use materials from almost every trade. As you advance, special skills will become available, such as Transmute.

  Profession Bonuses:

  10% Increase in yield

  15% Increase in successfully crafting an alchemy item

  Ability at high ranks to create your own recipes

  Ability to learn uncommon and above recipes

  OTM: You will retain all recipes gained, learned, or created when switching professions, but you will incur penalties trying to craft items that do not belong to your current profession. Items crossing professions will not incur these penalties.

  Profession Skills

  Sense Heat

  Botany (Gathering Skill)

  Zoology (Gathering Skill)

  * Additional skills will be avail
able as you rank up

  Recipes Known:

  Minor Healing Potion

  Apathy Potion

  Anxiety Potion

  Stink Powder

  Bleach

  Root Beer

  OTM: Multiple professions can use some recipes like Root Beer. In this case, Alchemists, Herbalists, or Brewers can craft Root Beer.]

  Looking over the recipes, I did not understand what most of them even did, and why the hell would anyone want an [Anxiety Potion]?

  I couldn't care less about crafting because I almost became a pro gamer before I grew ill. Kids from all around Pripyat would try to beat me at Golden Eye 007, and by the end of each day, I had a sack full of lingonberries to prove I was the best. After the doctors diagnosed my first life-ending illness, I was locked away, ending my pro gamer career. This was my chance to be pro again, and the only reason I wanted the profession was because of [Sense Heat]. I wouldn’t waste a second creating [Root Beer]. Although… [Healing Potions] were tempting.

  I tapped on the skill’s tile again, because it blinked once more. It was for the new skills I’d just picked up from changing professions. I almost skipped past the [Gathering Skills] nonsense, until I spotted [Zoology].

  [Unacknowledged Skills:

  Sense Heat is an innate ability of several Trades. It only available to those with a Ku capable of feeling fluctuations in temperature. This includes the ambient temperature of organic and inorganic material. Profession and Ku determine Sense Heat’s range.

  Bonus: Because your Ku is that of fire, the range of your Sense Heat is increased by 25%. Further, because of the nature of your class, you’ll be able to absorb all the heat that you can sense.

  Gathering Skills Explained:

  Gathering skills highlight items used by your profession. (Hint: Gathering skills do not highlight components if it does not belong to a common or known recipe. Educating yourself on materials might save you time later.)

  Zoology is a gathering ability. This ability allows you identify which parts of an animal are used by your profession (Hint: This includes humanoids.)

  Bonus: Because of your Sense Heat ability, if you use Zoology and Sense Heat together then you be able to locate animals nearby. This bonus only extends as far as your Sense Heat ability.

  Botany is a gathering ability. This ability allows you to know which plants are used by your profession. Reading up on plants within the realm will expand what this ability can locate.]

  Now that the skills were registered I could sense ambient heat all around me. I toggled Zoology, not expecting anything to happen, but wherever I was, it sensed rats in the walls. It was neat but freaky, so I turned it off. After confirming everything only two tiles remained: Loot and Rewards. I tapped loot first.

  [Unacknowledged Loot:

  Acquired 5x Luck Potion

  Item: Luck Potion

  Details: Permanently increase your luck.

  Item Type: Consumable - Legendary

  Durability: Fragile

  Effect: The imbiber increases their luck attribute by -1 to +3 points. (Effect Duration: Permanent)

  Limitation: Can only use one attribute gain potion a week]

  Hell yea! I downed the first one of those right then and there.

  [Luck +1]

  That brought me up to thirteen luck. I had no idea if that was high or low, but so far luck was with me. However, everyone knows that luck eventually runs out. “Please set a reminder to drink those each night.”

  “Check in your [Unacknowledged Rewards] each night; you’ll see the results there until the potion is all used up.”

  “Thanks.”

  [Unacknowledged Rewards:

  Attribute Gains:

  Wisdom +1 - Triggered because of your LitRPG Trope - The Perpetual Newb. You asked plenty of newbie questions and gained knowledge.

  Luck +1 - Triggered because of your [Luck Potion] (Uses Left: 4 | Already acknowledged)

  Title: The Newb

  Effect: Decreases the chance a newbie question will lower your status with NPCs. This effect is void if you ask the same question more than once.]

  Huh? Maybe Earle wasn’t such a dick. Finishing with the summary, it prompted me to check my in-game mail, but most of it was system notices that only anal people read. There were several emails advertising gold to cash transfers, which I blocked and then deleted. Finally, tasks completed, my status scrolled before my eyes. I noticed both [Fire Breath] and [Dragon Strike] were not listed yet.

  [Status so far:

  Name: Deuce Bigbelow

  Race: Mutant

  Class: Dragon Fist

  Ku: Fire (Current: Inner Dragon)

  Profession: Alchemist

  Level: 2

  Base: HP: 29 MP: 21 AC: 6

  Augmented: HP: 29 MP: 21 AC: 12

  Stances (Equipped 1/1):

  Brawler’s Stance

  - Unarmed Damage +5%

  Auras:

  Aura of the Fire Dragon I

  - Fire Resistance +25%

  Feats (Equipped: 4/4):

  Mutant (R)

  - Attributes: Strength +3, Constitution +3, Agility -2

  - Racial Restriction: This feat cannot be removed

  Quad-Wielder (R)

  - Attack with all four arms without penalty

  Monastic Acolyte (C)

  - Attributes: Agility +4, Wisdom +3, Charisma +2

  Goro’s Might (L)

  - Attributes: Strength +2, Constitution +3, Agility +5, Luck +4

  Active Class Skills:

  - NE = Not Evolved

  Dragon Strike I (Not Learned)

  Feign Death I (Acclimation: 5)(NE)

  Fire Breath I (Not Learned)

  Flurry Strike I (Acclimation: 3)(NE)

  Mend I (Acclimation: 11)(NE)

  Sweep Kick I (Acclimation: 8)(NE)

  Passive Class Skills

  Lesser Dragon Skin V (Mastered)***

  Author Skills:

  PoV Shift

  Profession Skills:

  Alchemy

  Sense Heat

  Botany

  Zoology

  Non-Class Skills:

  - Learned by having over 100 skill points.

  Charge I (C)

  Fidget Spinner III (C)*

  Fondling I(C)

  Juggling I(C)

  Kick I(C)

  Masturbation III(C)*

  *III - Proficient is the highest rank for non-class skills.

  **VI - Grand Master is the highest rank for class skills.

  ***Passive skills without Acclimation are considered Mastered, and still have merging options available.

  Attributes:

  Total Attributes (Attributes From Gear)

  Strength: 20(4)

  Constitution: 14

  Agility: 23(4)

  Wisdom: 20

  Intelligence: 13

  Charisma: 10

  Luck: 13

  Common Skills:

  Air Guitar: 14

  Awkward: 45

  Belching: 16

  Bend and Snap: 27

  Birdwatching: 3

  Bop It!: 93

  Breathing: 10

  Button Smashing: 25

  Charge: 100

  Climbing: 97

  Daydreaming: 32

  Detect Bullshit: 2

  Digestion: 3

  Dodge: 6

  Eating: 17

  Eyebrow Arching: 13

  Eyebrow Waggling: 7

  Fidget Spinner: Mastered

  Finger Snapping: 3

  Flatulence: 13

  Flossing: 13

  Fondling: 137

  Girl Screams: 3

  Hand Eye Coordination: 61

  Handshaking: 2

  Hand-Some: 3 x4

  Handstands: 67

  Headbutt: 5

  Inappropriate Outbursts: 22

  Juggling: 134

  Jumping: 5

  Kick: 109

  Kissing: 1

  Knuckle Poppin
g: 76

  Masturbation: Mastered

  Moping: 18

  Mumbler: 19

  Oral: 6

  Patty Cake: 68

  Predictive Analysis: 7

  Running: 7

  Sexual Confidence: 3

  Sexual Deviance: 47

  Skipping: 7

  Sleeping: 78

  Smelling: 15

  Smooth Talking: 20

  Streaking: 15

  Swimming: 37

  Thumb Twiddling: 78

  Thumb-War: 99

  Unarmed Combat: 32

  Uppercut: 10

  Walking Upright: 19

  Wiggle: 14]

  “Ok, that is just ridiculous, are you going to show me that recap every day?” No response. Darkness met me, and I slept.

  In Game - Day 2

  Chapter 18

  Location: Shreddit

  The next morning, a subdued common room greeted me. Not many people were up this early, but there were more than I expected. Some were grabbing food, others sipping on hot drinks, but the majority hovered around the quest merchant.

  Yesterday, I had spotted the quest board, but the desk had not been present. While I watched, the person manning the desk reached into a dark sphere that hovered in front of him. I’d seen those spheres but never used as a storage device.

  The [Quest Board] had new notices this morning; I could tell by the colors used. An [Author] grabbed one, but it duplicated, and the original remained. It took a few blinks to process what I’d seen.

  “It’s a novelty, but it wears off.” The [Author] across from me had a gruff voice, stocky build, and a big fluffy beard. Oh, and he was short, which made him a textbook [Dwarf]. “Only the [Quest Merchant] can remove the original notice, but taking it creates a copy for us. I know people that take one of each and stockpile them in their inventory.”

  “Why didn’t I see him yesterday?”

  “The [Quest Merchants] only operate between sunrise and noon. So if you have any business with them, show up early. They leave promptly at noon even if there is a line.”

  “And the quest board?”

  “Oh, that’s available all the time. Every day they’ll pull down notices and add new ones. Don’t worry, if you took a copy, you can still finish the quest and turn it in when done. That’s the guy that will reward you, but this is only the official quests. A lot of them are boring.”

  “So what makes them official?” Interesting as this was, I needed to see Kin.

  “Official quests are guaranteed payment and reward. If it says it in print, and you completed it, you’ll get that reward. Taking quests from locals can be sketchy, and they might screw you over. You can file a complaint of course, but since they did not put in the quest officially, there is little they can do.”