The Land of Trademark Online

by Nikolai Chekhov

  “We have no choice. On the positive side, if we die, we won’t respawn in one of these prison cells.” I walked into the portal because we could hear the clip-clop of Nomar’s hooves stomping towards us and I didn’t want to waste any more zombie cows to scare him off.

  [You have entered the Ebon Dragon’s Lair

  You are the 813th person to find Ebon Dragon’s Lair.

  The Ebon Dragon Order splintered off the Order of Dragons and sought to kill off all the Fire Dragons, including the Dragon Fist monks. Liaki captured Kato, locking him away in a prison so deep that his order disappeared and he was forgotten. After escaping, Kato reformed his Order, and they chose not to be tools of man, but their rulers. All of his actions violating almost every precept put forth by the Order of the Dragons.

  Liaki and the other Dragon Fists were too strong for him to take on directly, so he remained in hiding while he manipulated the other orders. He used the monasteries mistrust of the Dragon Fists to bring about their demise.

  Kato did not fully understand the beast he had unleashed. The Monasteries were exuberant in their cleanse, and their actions bordered on genocide. It was a silent and bloody war. Not even the Order of the Dragons could stand against the might of the united Monasteries. They committed acts so atrocious that it betrayed the honor Kato still held in high regard. As a consequence, the Monasteries created a specialized Order to seek and destroy any evidence of the event that surfaced. Including any monk that walks the Path of Fire.

  After the Order of Dragons was no more, Kato chose not to come out of hiding. His order became mercenaries, working from the shadows, but rumors claim he takes no action that dishonors him or his people. It is not clear what his leanings are, but there are those who claim he seeks redemption. Kato respects those that beat him in honorable combat, and if you wish to know the secret of the shadow, you must defeat him one on one. Should you win, he’ll embrace you and whisper it to you. Take heed, if you wish to receive it, then prepare yourself…]

  “Listen, we cannot stay here. It doesn’t matter how overpowered you are, Kato is a level fifteen fighter, and we wouldn’t even be able to hit him, much less beat him. I doubt even Nomar could scratch him and they are equivalent levels. Understand?” Shagwell’s eyes narrowed because I hesitated. “Let me put it another way, can you beat Sonya? No? Thought not. She and her allies could not even stop him.”

  I sighed, wanting to find the [Pieces of LitRPG Tropes], but— “Do we have to fight him? I need something down there.”

  “You want the Eye?” He grinned at me but saw my confusion. “Don’t tell me you are after the [LitRPG Tropes], because no one bothers with that stupid [Lion’s Quest] anymore. Many have tried, but they’ve all failed.”

  “What is the Eye?” I asked instead of answering his question. Not sure why, but the quest for the Tropes grew on me, and now it was a sore spot. I tried not to be defensive, but they provided free attribute bumps, and I would not force anyone to get them.

  “The [Eye of Liaki] is supposedly in Kato’s possession, and if you can acquire it, then it increases your chance to see the hidden things. I don’t know anyone with it, but supposedly it upgrades your eyesight allowing to see things most people miss. [Authors] used to farm this guy for it, but he learns from previous battles making him harder to fight every time. He is one of the toughest bosses in the realm. At least in my opinion.”

  “Fine, we can come back for him at another time. Where are the sewers?”

  Jason Shagwell’s eyes glazed over as he performed several gestures and pinched and spread his fingers wide several times. Finally, he flicked the invisible screen at me, and I got a notice.

  [Shagwell wishes to share a map with you, do you accept?]

  Yes. I thought, and the map appeared in my vision, showing the dungeon, but it was incomplete. On it, I could see where we stood and the immediate area around us. The issue is the sewer exit was on the other side of the uncharted regions. The map also showed where Kato made his way through the area. Provided the fogged areas did not expose us; we might slide past.

  “Listen, this map was complete before. Your narrative changed the dungeon layout, which means it might have changed Kato’s path. We need to move quickly and quietly and hope this tunnel connects up to the old areas. Stay close.” Shagwell motioned us forward, and we walked, pausing at any out of the ordinary sounds, afraid to breathe.

  The map stayed open in the bottom right of my view, so I could see as we progressed. Overall the area looked like a massive cave, and it would have been if it wasn’t for the large metal pipes that ran the length of a wall, or rose from floor to ceiling. It was these pipes that created the random sounds we heard. Kato had yet to make an appearance. A few minutes later we entered the older sections of the map, and other than having new connection points, they did not change.

  Shagwell put his finger to his lips, indicating that this next part required extreme silence. On the map I saw that Kato’s path took him dangerously close to the tunnel we were in, and I moved closer to the left-hand wall.

  “Trying to hide from me, [Dragon Fist]?” A voice called out ahead of us, and Shagwell’s head snapped towards me and not him.

  “You are a [Dragon Fist]? You dumb ass—you should have told me,” Shagwell said in exasperation.

  “Kato,” I called out, rather than reply to Shagwell. “I understand you seek to be challenged, and I want to be the one that stops you. I am weak and growing, and therefore I am no challenge to you—not yet. Give me time, and I will return. I will end what you started.”

  Laughter, sincere and without mockery, echoed down the tunnels. “Go, but if you do not return within one year, then all dungeons will lead to me. If you do not beat me, well then you will take my place as the master of your own dungeon, and I will go free. Are you sure you want that fate?”

  “Better than being enslaved as a gnok. I’ll take your deal.”

  [Quest: Kato’s Challenge

  Requirement: Mandatory - Failure to complete within a year will turn all dungeon entrances into portals that take you to Ebon Dragon’s Lair. (This fight is between you and Kato, and the difficulty will scale to a solo level fifteen dungeon)

  Reward: Legendary Class Feat, Legendary Class Skill

  Failure: You take Kato’s place as a Dungeon Lord.

  OTM: An [Author] Dungeon Lord can still roam the world, but all city guards and officials will be hostile. Some may even be Kill On Sight (KOS). Dungeon Lord is a class, and once you reach level twenty, you can change your class. Leveling a Dungeon Lord is tough because you only gain experience by killing things that enter your dungeon. On a side note, what the fuck? You retarded monkey! I leave you alone for five damned minutes.]

  “I will see you soon [Dragon Fist], do not disappoint me. Catch.” The shadow within the shadows that was Kato tossed me an object which I caught and put into my bag for later. “Don’t lose that. You’ll need it.” After that, Kato’s presence faded, and the threat of challenge went with him.

  “That was… different. Man, I’d fail that quest and gain the [Dungeon Lord] class,” Shagwell’s eyes glazed over as he sorted through his menus. “Now… who can I challenge to claim a dungeon.”

  “Let’s go,” I chuckled and dragged him towards the [Smuggler’s Den].

  Chapter 58

  Location: Smuggler’s Den

  “Shit tits. This place stinks.” I mumbled and read the dungeon description. Nothing exciting.

  [You have entered the Smuggler’s Den

  Smuggler’s Den is considered a common dungeon, and thousands visit it daily. You gain no rewards for the discovery.

  The Smuggler’s Den is accessible from various places throughout Kongdom Proper, including locations outside the walls. It also houses the [Black Market] which is controlled by the Ebon Dragon Order. The rules are posted all over the market, do not violate them or you’ll regret it.

  Smuggler’s Den is one of the few Dungeons that are open, meaning it only has
one instance. You will find many [Authors] trying to buy and sell illegal goods, as well as other services not provided by law-abiding citizens. Author vs. Author combat is allowed, but not recommended in the Black Market (See the rules.) In this dungeon, killing an Author will only enable you to loot their money.

  Caution: Before visiting the Smuggler’s Den, it is recommended you invest in a [Coin Purse] to prevent the loss of gold. This is your only warning, and any gold lost down here will not be returned, no matter how hard you petition.

  OTM: It is worth it to purchase a map of the sewers, but this is the Black Market, so be prepared to be swindled like a tourist in a gypsy marketplace. Map forgeries exist, and it might be a good idea to flag all maps unless they have a guaranteed authenticity. Also, if they aren’t guaranteed, expect that it will lead you into an ambush. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t buy a map at all, monkey. ]

  Gee, that was helpful, asshat.

  The previous dungeon was a cave system, but this was all aged stone, fitted together to give the place an ageless feel. Nostalgia struck me because it reminded me of the old subway system in Pripyat. Including the arched ceiling and wide pathway that went alongside the tracks, only here, it went alongside a river of sewage.

  The transition from the previous dungeon to this one was a portal through a broken section of pipe. While interesting, we still had to walk through a sewage pipe.

  Shagwell fiddled with his maps again before sliding me a copy. After NPC’s trolling commentary, I was thankful for a map I trusted.

  “I marked the path to the [Black Market],” Shagwell explained. “This place is a complex series of interconnecting tunnels, so it’s easy to get lost. For us, that’s bad news, because if we die, we’ll pop back in over here because this is where we entered.”

  “Got it.”

  He led, and I followed.

  Pipes ran the length of the tunnels, and they twisted around so much I had no idea if they had any actual function or were purely aesthetic. Pipes stuck out of the ceiling at random intervals which spat raw sewage into the water channel. The only variation to the path on the left and water on the right was when we came to intersections. Our path continued around the corner, remaining on the left, but bridge connected catercorner, allowing us to cross over. Sometimes we took the bridge, but weirdly, Shagwell always took the direction that kept us on the left of the sewage.

  Grime, moss, and possibly sewage cover the walls. I avoided walking too close to the slimy surface and remained a firm distance away from the water itself. I walked a narrow path up the middle. Shagwell never missed a step and navigated with the same ease he did everything.

  Congratulations, I told myself. You’ve discovered the shittiest maze ever.

  It wasn’t all bad, Shagwell had a lot of fun stories to tell, but ended any important conversations quickly.

  “Assume the walls have ears down here. I don’t enjoy coming down here, so I’ve never really explored, but it’s riddled with secret entrances and spy holes. Never assume you are alone because if—”

  Screee! Was the only warning we received before a [Mischief of Diseased Rats] attacked us. While it had dozens of rats in the pack, the system treated it as one creature. Every rat we killed, decreased its HP by one.

  “Don’t let them bite or scratch you,” Shagwell said through grit teeth, a staff in his hands whirled about and green energy radiated about his hands as he drew essence from the dead creatures. Strange that it was one creature, but Shagwell’s ability treated it as if it were many. Not one to disregard advice, I used my [Fire Breath] and heard the remaining rats squeal before I felt the combat drop away.

  [Fire Breath +1]

  “Damn, that’s some breath you got there,” Shagwell was grinning at me. “Should have warned you about the water. We’ve had a good run, considering that was the first thing that’s attacked us. The water is where all the creatures in this dungeon live, and mostly, the sewers are harmless. See how calm the water is—relatively speaking? It means nothing dangerous is waiting for use below the surface. If you see the water churning aggressively, run. It’ll be something we can’t fight. Rat’s barely splash the surface, and it doesn’t matter what level you are—those annoying things will always attack.”

  “How deep is that water?” I asked while I looted the rats.

  [Loot: 3 Tokens of Acclimation, 2 Gold, 4 Rat Tails]

  “It’s not deep, might come up to your chest at the deepest point, but never go into the water. That is inviting disaster. Remember, the more the water is disturbed, the more dangerous it is, doesn’t matter if the creature or you or something else is disturbing the water, if it's choppy, something is coming out. Also, don’t throw bodies into it.”

  “Not sure I even want to ask.”

  “I’m a [Necromancer] I deal with dead bodies all the time. Dropping a body into that water is like inviting death to stalk you. That body will climb out of those depths and hunt down anyone that has ever wronged it. Including the idiot that discarded the body.”

  “While that is a pleasant thought, this place stinks. I’d rather burn my corpses than come down here.”

  Shagwell laughed and clapped me on the back, “Good enough for me. Also, I should mention the sewage water will continue to stack [Diseases] on you, which is why I told you not to let them bite or scratch you. Easy to cure, if you have a healer, but we don’t have one.”

  “Is [Disease] different from [Poison]?”

  “Yes. Disease does not cause you any direct damage, but it will weaken, or debuff, you. A single disease is not a problem most of the time. It’s when they stack on you that it’s an issue.” Hah—if only he could see my disease-ridden body in the real world. “Poison damages over time and cycles off after so long. Usually not pleasant, but if you have enough health, you could survive it. Also [Poisons] of the same type will stack. Diseases of the same type don’t stack and don’t cycle off. You have to be cured. There are a lot of [Diseases], and a small percentage of those need something more powerful than a cure spell. Let’s get a move on. We are almost there—just do that breath thing if we run into any more.”

  The smell never improved, and my flesh felt infused with it. Is stink a disease? It might decrease my charisma.

  My map kept expanding beyond what Shagwell shared—probably because of my [Sense] ability. I could now see a complex network of passages stacked on top of each other. Side halls, leading away from the water, ended in a set of stairs, but Shagwell ignored all those.

  “Most of the stairs lead to the pipework, which makes navigating the sewers seem like a cosmic joke. You want to find decent loot—you need to go up there. However, the monsters are more fierce, and you have little room to maneuver. If you must go up there, use daggers or fists. You won’t have the room for anything bigger. I mention that because—” He turned into off the path and into a doorway. “—this is what a typical control room looks like.”

  The control room felt very large, but pipes were everywhere. It created narrow paths, and Shagwell left off one important detail. Monsters could attack from under, on, or above the pipes. This was a nightmare scenario because the bulk my four arms created. Even with fists, I couldn’t turn properly.

  Shagwell turned several valves in a particular pattern. Afterward, part of the wall gave way revealing a set of stairs. “This is the back entrance, so don’t worry about memorizing the combination. Welcome to the [Black Market]. Before we head up, keep your gear hidden. The less they see, the better. Luckily you are a monk, so you don’t use a lot of valuable gear that most people care about, but keep your bag hidden. With a little luck, we’ll get through here without losing anything.”

  “They can’t steal anything from my bag. It’s [Soulbound].”

  “In that case, hold this, and I want it back when we get out of here.” Shagwell handed over his bag after he added a few things to it. “Keep money handy. I will need it to fix our [Drama Meters].”

  Chapter 59

 
Location: Smuggler’s Den

  We entered the room and words escaped me. There was no telling what this room was supposed to have been, but the large black marble pillars that extended the length of the room became the foundation for the buildings between them. Buildings that extended up three stories and connecting to the walls behind them.

  The [Black Market] stalls ran up the center of the massive hall. NPCs and [Authors] were trying to peddle their purloined goods. Or so I assumed, they could be selling illegal goods like the [Meth] I could make.

  The stalls appeared to be first come first serve because the arrangement of goods was chaotic at best. A lot of [Authors] milled about, and more than a few looked me over appraisingly. Not in the, ‘hey nice bod, man. You take any supplements?’ kind of way, but the ‘hey, nice shit, man. Don’t mind if we take it all and leave you tied up naked in the middle of a super market’ kind of thing.

  It was the inn that drew most of my attention. It was massive and spanned the entire back of the room, or was this an underground temple? It was the center piece of what amounted to a small bustling city, and the thing I liked most was that no gnoks were lurking in the shadows. “When you said Black Market, I didn’t think you meant a city.”

  Shagwell laughed and clapped me on the back. “It is fairly large, and some [Authors] spend all their time down here. It is the best place to locate crafting resources, even the more questionable ones like for your profession. However, you can’t trust anyone here. These fuckers would sell their grandmothers for a gold coin. Do not—under any circumstance—follow someone, no matter how convincing they are. Now follow me.”

  “I hope that was a joke, because—”

  “Good, you were paying attention, but seriously, we gotta get our [Drama Meters] taken care of and get back up top. Blaze Bots and Sonya have probably already planned the mission and will have a role assigned for you. They love their strategy talks.”