12 Men for Christmas

by Phillipa Ashley

  Hi, Rahcel, thanks for your emmail,

  Fantastic news about the sponsorshpi deal. On behalf of Bannerdale MRT, please accept my thanks for your company’s generosity. I aslo want to thank your ND for the job tipoff. Yes, I’d be very interested in teh role of communications Director.

  You see, there’s this guy I’ve met up here and he’s absolutely the sexiest bloke I’ve ever known and hes a leader in the MRT and well, it’s quite simple, relly. I’ve fallen in love with him and he just doesn’t feel teh same way about me. He likes me and cares about me—he cares aboutEeveryone—but he just doesn’t want to go that extra mile for me—per se

  Let’s put it simply, Rachel. I love him but he doesn’t love me and that’s all there is to it.

  She added the last few lines with her eyes shut.

  “Basicly,” she typed, “Id be madd to stay here and not accep your offer. I’m comigg hom…”

  Pressing her finger on the Backspace key, she held it there as moisture splashed onto the keyboard. She couldn’t see properly anymore, and as the tears ran down her face, she turned off the laptop, stumbled to her bed, and gave in.

  * * *

  It took Will longer than he’d thought it would to reach the crag. Maybe he was tired after last night. That made him smile. Holding Emma, making love to her, had been the sweetest pleasure. Her body was beautiful, soft and curvaceous, and her response giving and open as he’d explored every inch of her.

  That first time, when he’d thrust inside her and felt the power of her orgasm around him… Even here in the cold, when his mind should have been on them, he was aching for her. She was absolutely beautiful. Feisty and loving and courageous—not like him.

  He’d been a coward, he told himself. He’d been so intent on never getting close to someone again and so careful not to allow anyone through his armor that he’d hurt Emma. He could see that now in absolute clarity, even here in the mist. He slowed for a moment, feeling the cold, damp air on his face.

  It was getting pretty rough up here, thought Will, and the visibility was getting worse by the minute. As he stopped to catch his breath, a faint cry above him on the fellside made him stop and listen.

  “Hey there,” he called. “It’s OK. I’m coming.”

  He could hear them now, and he knew he was close to the crag. Quickening his stride, his long legs soon covered the stony ground on the steep hill. Suddenly, the rock face loomed above him, and he saw them.

  A teenager was perched on a narrow ledge, crying quietly. She was obviously terrified, but that was to be expected. It was the lad with her, propped against the rock, still and silent, who worried him more.

  The girl shouted to him, “Please help us. My brother’s hurt himself—”

  “It’s OK, sweetheart, we’re coming. You’re going to be just fine. What’s your name?” soothed Will.

  He could just hear her voice above the freshening breeze.

  “Charlotte, is it? And your brother’s Tom. Well, everything’s going to be all right, Charlotte. Not long now.”

  As he took off his rucksack, he carried on talking to her. “Keep nice and still. I’m going to help you, sweetheart.”

  Reassuring her even as he unpacked the ropes and equipment, Will felt a sense of relief that was almost palpable. This was a situation he could deal with. He knew exactly what to do. He knew the crag, had climbed here himself many times—it wasn’t even a difficult grade.

  “Not long now,” he called as he heard the girl sobbing in fear and relief. “Soon be with you, sweetheart.” He was almost within touching distance of her when he heard the radio buzzing down on the fellside where he’d left it. He told himself the rest of the team must be close now, and so what, if just this once, he’d broken a tiny rule.

  These people needed him—and so did Emma.

  * * *

  Emma finally managed to haul herself into the shower as the sky opposite the window deepened from blue to indigo. She turned the jet to full and tried to pummel herself into life under the stinging spray and scour herself clean of Will’s musky scent.

  Foamy water flowed down the drain, taking away the memory of his touch and the fleeting moment of tenderness he’d shown her. She could hardly bear to look at her body, knowing what he had done to her—recalling his fingers on her skin, his mouth on her breasts, his lovemaking.

  Winding a towel around her hair, Emma grabbed a bath sheet from the hook on the door, drying her body, rubbing him away…vowing to start afresh on Monday. Where, she wasn’t certain, but one thing was for sure: there would be no more Will. She would ask her boss, James Marshall, to take over the production of the calendar, and she’d never see Will again.

  A dull thudding intruded through the bathroom door: the sound of footsteps on the metal staircase, followed by a loud and insistent banging on the door. Her heart started beating out a retreat. That knock. It could only be one person. The question was, did she want to answer it?

  Her hand was on the bathroom door handle. She opened it a crack and peered around the jamb into the hall. A shadowy figure was waiting on the other side of the frosted half-glass in the front door.

  “Emma!”

  She reached the door in two strides and pulled it open wide.

  Chapter 13

  “Don’t you ever answer your phone, girl?”

  Emma tried not to look disappointed as she pulled the door open wider to find Suzanne there. “I left it at someone’s house. I’ve only just gotten out of the shower.”

  “That much is obvious,” said Suzanne, taking in her towel-clad figure. She knelt down as she unlaced her boots wearily at the top of the staircase. Her strawberry-blond crop was sticking up at all angles around her flushed face. She was wearing the muddiest pair of boots Emma had ever seen and an expression of total fatigue.

  “Aren’t you going to let me in?” she said.

  “Sorry, Sue, you’ll have to forgive my manners. I’m not feeling at my best right now.”

  “Me neither, and these damn boots don’t want to come off!”

  Emma winced as one did come off. It flew off, in fact, and hit the wall, leaving a muddy mark.

  Suzanne sighed dramatically. “Sorry, it’s been a bad day.”

  Emma had to smile in spite of how bad she was feeling. It wasn’t often she saw Suzanne in any state other than total control. “It’s fine,” she said. “Decorating’s the least of my worries.” Especially now I’m moving out, she might have added. Showing Suzanne through to the living room, Emma caught sight of the rain running down the windowpanes. It was turning into a crappy day all around.

  Suzanne’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Is it all right if I sit down? I’ll try not to make a mess of your trendy sofa.”

  “Oh God, yes. Oh, Sue, I’m really sorry. I’ve had a pretty lousy day too.”

  “Oh dear. Well, I’m afraid I’m not going to make it any better,” muttered Suzanne, dropping her car keys onto the coffee table. “I’m here with news, Emma. Not that good either.”

  All at once, everything clicked into place: the late-night visit, the muddy boots, the frustration and fatigue in her friend’s voice.

  “What do you mean, not good news?” she murmured.

  “Why don’t you sit down?” said Suzanne gently.

  Emma flopped down on the edge of the sofa Will had stretched out on so casually only the afternoon before.

  “I’m afraid Will’s had an accident. It’s OK,” she added quickly as Emma’s hand flew to her mouth. “He’s in Lancaster General Hospital, and he’s going to be all right, but it was nasty, and if we hadn’t been there—”

  “No!” Not like this, she thought. Please don’t let it end like this…

  Suzanne reached forward and smiled, placing a hand on her arm. “Don’t worry. It’s not too serious. He’ll be fine in time.”

  The ru
sh of relief Emma felt was physical and overwhelming. Why did she feel like this? As if…as if…she still loved him…

  “What’s he done to himself?” she asked shakily.

  Suzanne sighed. “Concussion, fractured fibula, bruised ribs. And some very impressive cuts. Not entirely sure about his leg until the consultant’s seen him in the morning. Hardly life threatening, but painful, and it could so easily have been much worse.”

  “When did this happen? I was with him all morning. I—I spent the night at the cottage.”

  “It was this afternoon. It’s taken us until evening to get him down, and he’s bloody heavy, I can tell you. It’s a wonder I haven’t had some hernias to treat.”

  Emma didn’t even smile.

  “I see you’re not in the mood for jokes. Cheer up. It’s not that bad. He’s going to be OK, you know. Physically, anyway.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Will needs your support right now, more than ever. He’s hurt, but worse, he’s mad as hell at himself. Having to be rescued by his own team…just think about it.”

  Will needed her support? Big, tough Will, who always, at the end of the day, held all the cards, who had power over her, absolutely and totally?

  “How did it happen?” she whispered.

  “We had some injured climbers stuck on a crag on Ravenhowe. None of us are really sure what he was doing, but evidently he wanted to be first in. Couldn’t wait for us. When we got there, the climbers were safe, but Will was at the bottom of the crag.”

  “How far had he fallen?” asked Emma, although she knew the answer would mean nothing to her.

  “Forty-five, maybe fifty feet. That may not sound like too far, but he still got away with murder,” she paused. “We’ve had three serious falls from Ravenhowe in the past few years. One was fatal, so Will has been very lucky, thank goodness. Until Bob gets hold of him, that is,” she added. “The pain he’s in now will be nothing.”

  Emma was grateful for Suzanne’s attempts to soften the blow and reassure her, but it just wasn’t happening today.

  “Far worse is his sudden tendency to whine. He’s driving everyone mad and persuading him to let us carry him down was a nightmare,” said Suzanne grimly.

  “I’m sorry he’s been hurt, and I’m grateful for you coming to tell me, but I don’t think he’ll want me there.”

  She snapped her mouth shut, but Suzanne continued, “All we’ve heard since we carried him down was your name. He was ranting about you every step of the way.”

  “My name?” She knew she must have sounded completely stupid, but Suzanne seemed not to notice.

  “Yes. Yours. We’re sick of hearing it. He’s been driving the hospital staff mad to have his phone, but they won’t allow it in there. So”—she heaved a sigh—“I said I’d fetch you.”

  “How long will he be in the hospital? Will he be all right?”

  “Just overnight, I guess, until the specialist can see him tomorrow. I’m hoping his leg’s not as bad as it looked when we got to him. He shouldn’t need an operation, but he’s definitely going to be out of action for quite a while. You know how much he’ll like that.”

  Not going to like it? Emma knew he’d hate it. Stuck on the sofa or behind a desk with climbing and rescues off the agenda. The recovery would be far more painful than any injury. And it was true—he’d be absolutely furious with himself at having to be rescued, even if it was in the course of duty. So why did she care so much? Why, when he’d hurt her like this, did she care how he felt, about what happened to him? And why was he asking for her? A guilty conscience maybe, but more… No, it wasn’t possible. He’d had his chance.

  “Is he well enough to talk to me?”

  “Oh yes, he’s well enough to do that.” Suzanne smiled wryly before getting up from the chair. “He was perfectly able to complain too, when we wouldn’t let him have his phone. Look, Emma, I’m pretty tired to be honest, so I need to know: are you coming with me to the hospital or not?”

  Emma gave a nod in reply. He could be asking for her to tell her goodbye. It could mean absolutely nothing.

  “Go and get dressed then, girl. I’ll wait for you downstairs.” Snatching up her keys from the table, she smiled indulgently at Emma, who was still sitting there, feeling totally shell-shocked. “Come on, then. What are you waiting for? Get your clothes on, and get out that door and into your car before I drag you.”

  * * *

  Wasn’t it ironic, thought Will as he lay on his back on the narrow bed. He just hadn’t seen it coming, his fall. It hadn’t been from a great height, thank the Lord for that, but it had been enough to hurt him more than anything he’d ever felt before.

  He’d thought he could sort everything else by himself. Overconfident Will, always in control. Now, one slip, one tiny moment of lost concentration, when he was tired and his mind was not quite 100 percent where it should have been, had landed him here. On his back, hooked up to God knew what, and helpless. Abso-fucking-lutely perfect.

  He couldn’t recall exactly what had happened, but maybe that was the drugs they were pumping into him. Maybe part of him didn’t want to remember, but the climbers must have told Bob and the team everything by now. The boy had a concussion; the girl was just shocked and cold. At least they were safe. He’d managed that much. Never mind that he was going to be in trouble, that there might be an inquiry within the team, and doubtless, he’d be hauled over the coals. Him, a deputy leader too, though maybe not for much longer. Well, tough. He didn’t care. After all, no one had been hurt but himself.

  It was his other mistake that really upset him. The one that had ended up with Emma hurt and out of his life. Just like his fall, he hadn’t seen her coming, though he acknowledged now she had been creeping into his life for months now. Since that first moment he’d seen her at the base, she’d been beautiful, confident, and, he realized now, reaching out to him. And when she’d seen him on the fell top, naked and vulnerable, he’d known then that she was special and unique.

  He’d tried hard to resist the possibility of letting her close because he knew it would end like this, with them both hurt and in pain. One slip, one moment with his eye off the ball, and she’d floored him.

  And now he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get the chance to put things right.

  * * *

  The rain was coming down in torrents as Emma followed the doctor down the highway to Lancaster General. She knew Suzanne didn’t have to go with her. In fact, she was worn out. Emma could see that. She also knew that her brusque manner hid a genuine affection for Will. Coming all this way to tell her went beyond the call of duty and was something only a good friend would do. She hoped their friendship would continue when she moved back to London to take the Echo job but knew it wasn’t that likely. They’d only really just gotten to know each other.

  Just like her and Will.

  Emma fiddled with the radio, trying to find some music to distract herself, but she soon gave up. Nothing could distract her from thinking about Will. He deserved a hearing. Whatever he had to say and no matter what he’d done, she couldn’t bear the thought of him being hurt. She didn’t hate him that much. She didn’t hate him at all, in fact, just ached for him to love her. The one thing she was sure she could never have.

  Because, let’s face it, she told herself as she queued at the busy highway junction, she just didn’t belong up here in his world. For a brief, shining moment, she’d convinced herself that this was the place for her. That while this place never buzzed and sparkled like the city, something else, someone else, had rocked her world.

  Not now. She was a metropolitan girl, pure and simple, and the time had come to go back to her roots. There was simply nothing to stay for any longer, no matter how much she loved him or hoped, deep in a corner of her heart, that he cared for her.

  The windshield wipers could hardly cope with the rain sluic
ing down the screen. Even in midsummer, the sky was already dark, the lights on the highway blinding her.

  An hour later, she was following Suzanne through the maze of corridors and departments that led to the side room where they were keeping him overnight for observation. As they approached the nurses’ station, the staff greeted Suzanne warmly and nodded at her in acknowledgment. She paused to ask them about Will’s progress, and Emma hazarded a look through the small window in the door of his ward. For a moment, she thought she had the wrong room. Was this the same big, strong guy who had carried her down the jetty and up the stairs into his bedroom? Who had made love to her for half a night and all morning? Was this the man who had hurt her so much? The one making her hurt so much now…

  She felt a rush of love sweeping over her that only intensified the pain.

  “OK, Emma?” Suzanne was beside her, her voice soft. “He broke every rule in the book to help those climbers, you know. Typical. He’ll be in trouble when all this is over.” Her smile told Emma he wouldn’t. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’d have done exactly the same thing.” Emma tensed as she felt Suzanne’s hand on her arm. “Shall I come in with you, or do you want to be alone?”

  “Come in with me. Please, Sue.” Her voice sounded like a small child’s, then hardened. “I’ll see how he is, and then I’m going. He’s got five minutes. That’s it.”

  “Really?” asked Suzanne quietly. “Don’t you think he deserves more than that?”

  Before Emma could answer and before she knew what the answer was, Suzanne had knocked on the door and pushed it open without waiting for a reply. The figure in the bed stirred and opened his eyes.

  “I’ve brought someone to see you,” declared Suzanne sternly.

  Emma stared. Will was shockingly pale and something else she’d never seen before—vulnerable looking. As he propped himself up on one elbow, she could see the Steri-Strips covering the cuts on his forehead and cheek. His hospital gown was hanging off one shoulder where a large bruise was already beginning to bloom spectacularly. She could see the sprinkling of hair on his chest, the one that only this morning she’d kissed and explored.