by Baxter, Cole
"And not for yours?"
Ruby straightened up, raising her chin ever so slightly. "Never. I took my job very seriously. Nothing could stop me from going on that stage. I remember I once had a fever, over one hundred and three, and I still performed."
"Do you miss it?" The words came out of Mary's mouth before she could stop herself. She feared she would strike a nerve.
"Miss what? Getting drunk with Suzie James?"
Mary knew that was her way out, but something forced her to press on. "Acting," she clarified, fully knowing that Ruby had understood her perfectly the first time around.
To her utmost confusion, Ruby started to weep. "I miss it like crazy, every day," she confessed.
Mary sat closer to her friend, feeling at a loss. She didn't know what to say to comfort her friend.
Ruby took her hands in hers. "I lied," she confessed, looking distraught.
"Lied? About what?"
Ruby took a deep, shuddering breath. "You believed something was true and I let you."
"I don't understand," Mary replied.
"I'm sure you wondered why I left the theater."
"That is your personal matter—" Mary started to say.
Ruby continued to speak. "You probably concluded I had to leave because of my disease. Nobody needs an actress who can start seizing anytime, anywhere."
That was true. Mary did believe that to be the case. "You didn't leave because of that?"
"No, I didn't." Ruby sobbed.
It was really hard for Mary to see her dear friend in such a state. Perhaps talking about what troubles her will help, she rationalized.
"Then why did you stop acting? Did something happen to you?" Mary urged.
Mary had started to assume the worst.
Ruby began to unburden herself. "I've acted all my adult life. My career bloomed, and I couldn't have been happier. As the years passed, I was cast less and less often."
"Why?"
"That was exactly what I wanted to know. I asked all my friends, or the people I considered to be my friends, and they all kept quiet until one director lost his temper with me and told me the ugly truth."
Mary practically stopped breathing in anticipation. What could possibly be so horrible that Ruby was cast out of the theater by her own people?
"He told me I was too old for the leading lady roles and unfit to play anything else." She wiped her nose with a monogrammed handkerchief.
"Bastard," Mary exclaimed, quite surprised with herself and her outburst. Apparently, she was not the only one. Ruby too looked at her in surprise for the briefest of moments, forgetting about her woes.
"Did you try working in TV or movies?" Mary offered lamely.
Ruby waved dismissively. "I got plenty of offers, still do, but I detest it. There's no soul in that, no true craft. The theater is my one and true love, and because they didn't want me anymore . . ." Her voice hitched a little saying that yet recovered quickly. "I walked away from everything vowing to never act again."
That was incredibly sad. "Oh, Ruby, I am so sorry."
Mary couldn't believe that in this day and age one gentle soul, a true artist, could be treated in such a manner. She felt very protective toward the other woman and wished there were something she could do for her.
"I'm sorry for lying. I was just so ashamed."
"You didn't lie," Mary insisted. "And there's nothing for you to be ashamed about. The rest of them should be ashamed for treating you that way."
"You really think so? You never saw me performing. Perhaps I'm awful." Ruby tried to joke at her own expense to lighten the mood. She really was an amazing fighter.
"I know so. This is on them. It's their loss." Mary was adamant, quite enraged with that whole industry. She thought the theater people should be above such things, but apparently, she was wrong.
"Thank you for saying that," Ruby replied, managing to calm a little.
"I mean it."
As she tried to soothe her friend, Mary made a mental note to look Ruby up online when she got home, curious to see what plays she was in and who all the directors and casting managers were. Perhaps she would start to boycott all their plays. Not that she was that frequent of a theater visitor. It's the thought that counts.
After a very therapeutic cry, Ruby fell asleep. Mary placed a blanket over her and fetched a glass of water with some pills for the headache, placing them on the nearby table, knowing Ruby would need those once she woke.
Feeling as though there was nothing she could do for Ruby at the moment, she went home. Mary was barely at the door of her apartment when her phone started ringing.
She was sure Ruby had awakened and was now calling to apologize, again, for her behavior. Mary would act in the same way. It’s hard letting other people see you that vulnerable.
Surprisingly, it wasn't Ruby calling her. Mary's heart started to pound just a little bit faster.
"Hello, Lara," Mary greeted. It had been quite some time since she'd heard anything from her. She had even started to wonder if the other woman had forgotten about her and her case.
Lara Cheng was the private investigator Mary hired to track down her no-good husband since that was something she wasn't capable of doing herself.
"Hey, I have some news for you," Lara replied in her small voice that had just a hint of a foreign accent.
"Oh?" Mary replied, sensing what that might be.
"Yeah, your husband is back in town."
And just like that Mary's mind went blank.
Chapter Six
“Mary, you there?" Lara asked.
"Yes," she replied in a voice that wasn't completely hers, so she tried to clear it.
She had all these conflicting feelings about the news she’d just received. On one hand, she was glad, maybe relieved, that Nick had finally crawled out from under the rock he’d slithered to when he left her.
Seeing him again was what she was mentally preparing herself to do all this time, talking with Dr. Carson and so forth. However, she was dreading seeing him again. That was one confrontation she wasn't looking forward to.
Come to think of it, who in their right mind would?
"When did he return?" she forced herself to ask.
"I just started to gather all the pieces of information, but I believe about five days ago."
Five days? He hasn't tried to contact me. It was true she’d had to move out of their home, but it wasn't like she’d changed her number or anything.
"He was in Boston all this time," Lara provided.
So he ran away to Boston with his child girlfriend, Mary thought, trying really hard not to be bitter. Nick was born in Boston, and she wondered why he’d decided to return there. He’d always told her how much he hated that place.
Like Mary, Nick was an orphan. Both of his parents died when he was a toddler. While she was raised by her grandmother, Nick had no one so he bounced from one foster family to the other until he turned sixteen and simply ran away.
Lara snapped her back from her reverie. "He returned to New York alone. It looks like the girlfriend dumped him."
Nick got dumped. That almost made her smile.
Mary tried really hard not to take this as great news but couldn't. She was gleeful about it. It wasn't like she'd want him back, far from it. It was just that she wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine. Not that a relationship that lasted only a couple of months could be compared to a fourteen-year-long marriage. Still, it was a good start if it hurt him even a little bit.
"Thank you for letting me know."
"Of course. That's why you’re paying me."
That was true.
"When I learn something else, I will call you," Lara said. "At the moment, it looks like he's bouncing around from one motel to the next, drinking himself to death every night."
Mary really hoped that wasn't true because that would mean she wouldn't get her money back. Instantly, she felt guilty for having such thoughts. No matter what, she didn't wish
for him to die. Perhaps some bodily harm would be preferable. Impotence would be just perfect.
"Great," Mary replied with just a hint of bitterness. "Thank you again."
"No problem."
Mary liked Lara even though they didn't know one another that well. However, Lara was a very direct woman and Mary really appreciated that. Also, she always rode everywhere on her motorcycle, which made her a daredevil as far as Mary was concerned. Lara was working as a private investigator while trying to put herself through law school, and that was downright admirable.
Mary was pleased to see she was also good at what she did. Not that she doubted. Overall, she was one fierce lady, and Mary was sure she would have Nick's current address for her in no time.
Do I want his address?
Once she hung up, Mary immediately called Dr. Carson to share this news. Sadly, since it was the weekend, she couldn't see him. To top it off, as it turned out, he was unreachable as well, so she simply left him a message to return her call as soon as possible.
Then she started to feel that her message sounded as though she was suicidal or something, so she called him again and explained what happened.
Feeling quite restless, Mary realized she needed to share this with someone or she would go mad. On impulse, she dialed Ruby.
Up to that moment, she hadn't shared anything regarding Nick or her circumstances with Ruby. Ruby didn't know there was a Nick to begin with. As it turned out, Mary felt such a strong need to share her thoughts and fears that she reached out to her only friend.
Mary felt so confused. She was looking for a sympathetic ear, someone to confide in, and Ruby proved to be more than worthy of her trust.
"What's the matter, honey?" Ruby demanded the instant Mary greeted her, clearly picking up something in her voice.
"There's something I haven't told you," Mary replied, deciding to cut to the chase and be completely honest about her life with the other woman.
"Really?" Ruby asked, a bit startled. "Do you want to tell me now?"
"Yes."
"What is it?"
"I'm married."
There was a long pause from the other side, yet Mary knew the connection wasn't lost. She could hear her friend breathing.
"Ruby?"
"I'm guessing it's not a happy union," Ruby said a bit dryly.
Mary took a deep breath. "I thought it was. I was wrong."
"Tell me everything."
Mary did. She started from the beginning—how they met, how Nick charmed her, and everything he did or said. To her, being with him, who was more mature, was perfection. He appeared so sophisticated and knowledgeable. He was like no one else she'd met in her whole life.
"That's because you were a child when you met him," Ruby said.
Regardless of how or why Mary fell for him, the undeniable fact was that they’d bonded and married. Over time, things began to change. Nick started going to the gym and dying his hair black so people wouldn't know he was graying, and then Mary discovered he had a mistress. She found that out in the most humiliating of ways.
He'd contracted an STD from his lover and passed it along to her. Never in her life had Mary felt so humiliated and heartbroken. The betrayal was almost unbearable. Here she was thinking she had the best husband in the world, even though he was not without flaws, and all that time, he was cheating on her, finding happiness outside their marriage.
Over time, his attitude toward her changed as well. He became harsh and cold. Sadly, she had forgiven him everything, and numerous times at that. And he’d had the nerve to always place the blame on her, making her feel unworthy, lacking in some regard.
"He is an awful human being," Ruby declared at some point, intently listening to her life story, enraged on Mary's behalf for everything that man had put her through.
It was hard for Mary to remain calm during her narrative, and she shed a few tears here and there, especially when she got to the part where he’d left her for the nineteen-year-old.
"Shameless," Ruby said. "I'm sorry to say this to you because you’re still in pain, but that man clearly has issues," she said. "You’re better off."
Ruby wasn't the first person to tell her that. Dr. Carson was of the same opinion, and with time, Mary started to see things their way as well.
"He's returned to the city. Apparently, the child girlfriend left him."
To that, Ruby started to laugh, and wholeheartedly at that, as though she'd heard the funniest thing in the world.
"I'm so glad," she managed to say between the cackles. "Men like him, selfish and shallow, don't deserve to be happy in this life."
"Please don't say that," Mary instantly replied. No matter what had transpired between them, she couldn't be happy for someone else's misfortune. That was not the kind of person she wanted to be.
"Why not?" Ruby argued. "It's the truth."
"Perhaps, but—"
Ruby cut her off. "You know what your problem is? You are just too damn nice. That's why he could walk all over you."
Mary didn't like the sound of that. Ruby made her sound as though she was nothing more than a door mat. Weren't you? a part of her argued. Well, not anymore.
"You need to toughen up," Ruby concluded.
"I know," Mary replied with conviction. "And yet, at the same time . . ." She started to waver.
"At the same time, what?" There was heat in Ruby's voice. Everything Mary shared with her truly had a great impact on her. "Please don't tell me you’re still in love with him," she exclaimed in exasperation.
"No," Mary replied instantly. "I'm afraid of him," she admitted in a small voice.
"Why would you be afr—was he ever abusive toward you?" Ruby asked instead.
"Mostly verbally."
"Then that is not a no."
"Only at the end, the last couple of months, while drunk." Not that she was making excuses for him.
"Mary," Ruby sighed.
"I'm fine," she lied. "That's all in the past. I go to therapy and I'm dealing with it. However, I don't know if I'm ready to speak with him," Mary confessed. "I'm sure he can track me down." Nick was a lot of things but stupid or incompetent wasn’t one of them, and if he got an idea inside his head, he would do everything, anything, to make it happen. Mary's heart rate started to go up just thinking about seeing him again.
I can't. I can't.
She was really ashamed of herself. Months of therapy and she was still this frightened being who would much rather hide than stand up for herself.
"Then don't see him," Ruby insisted.
"I have to. I need my money back." That was all the savings she had.
"Listen to me, honey. I know some people, and if you give me his address, I will make sure he can never bother you again," Ruby said gravely.
Mary was a little taken aback by that.
"No, I don't want you in his path," Mary replied in all honesty, suddenly fearing for her friend. "He's not worth the trouble." And that was the God's honest truth. Mary would feel awful if anything happened to Ruby. If Nick did something to her because of Mary . . .
It would be better if the two never met. Ruby was clearly protective, and Mary appreciated that and felt the same way toward the other woman.
"Don't you worry about me. I know men like that very well," Ruby said. "You helped me once when I was in need, and it is time I returned the favor," she insisted, her voice fierce.
"You know I didn't help you that day because of that."
"I know, just let me take care of this problem for you. I will set him straight."
Mary was quite grateful, humbled that she had a friend like this who would stand by her side no matter what.
"I don't know his address," she replied.
"Your private investigator will certainly find that out for you," Ruby insisted.
"I don't think your speaking with him, or whatever, is a good idea," Mary replied very carefully.
"Just promise me that you'll let me take care of this for you."
>
Oh, Ruby . . .
"I promise, I will call for help if I need it," Mary hedged instead.
"Very well, and I will hold you to that promise."
"Deal."
A part of Mary wondered what she’d just agreed to, then banished that thought as being too paranoid.
Chapter Seven
Despite her talk with Ruby, Mary really looked forward to seeing her therapist on Monday to try and understand all the thoughts and feelings she had inside her. Unfortunately, she had to postpone her morning session with Dr. Carson till late in the afternoon because her boss, Alisa, dumped a lot of work on her during the weekend which she hadn’t bothered to do, too distraught about the whole Nick thing. Luckily, she managed to finish it all on time.
A familiar kind of peace washed over her upon entering his office. Mary always felt safe in Dr. Carson's presence.
"I got your message. Both of them," he started.
Mary made a face. "I'm sorry. I thought the first sounded too urgent, so I just wanted to make sure you understood why I called in the first place," she explained. The last thing she wanted was to let this man think she was suicidal again. As of late, she'd really felt better, stronger, and knew how stupid it was to have such dark thoughts in the past. Nick was so not worthy of her life. Her love as well. Mary knew that now.
"That was very thoughtful of you," he replied, understanding everything she didn't say. "Now, tell me everything that's going on," he added, leaning comfortably in his chair.
"Well, as I mentioned in the message, Nick is back in town." She couldn't help grimacing saying that.
"You don't look happy about that," he observed.
Happy was a poor choice of words, yet she caught his meaning. The fact that Nick was back meant she could finally move forward in getting rid of him, once and for all.
"I'm conflicted," she replied with a shrug.
"How so?"
How much time do you have? she wanted to joke. At the same time, knowing exactly how much time they had and wanting to make the most of it, she started to explain.