Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  Suri stopped and noticed all the high tech equipment then turned to scowl.

  ‘Where’d you get the money for all this?’ she asked suspiciously. ‘It’s not cheap.’

  ‘Donations from kind parishioners who no longer need them,’ he said, waddling towards his desk.

  She noticed they all looked brand new.

  ‘What do you have to do in return?’ she mumbled, admiring his office. ‘Don’t tell me.’

  ‘At least I haven’t been caught tying up a helpless man,’ he whispered then laughed some more. ‘You have to be on your best behaviour.’

  ‘I won’t let Joe down,’ she said, sitting in a comfy armchair. ‘This is our second chance.’

  ‘Poor lad, he doesn’t know what he’s got himself into.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘Of all the girls, he chose you,’ Jack laughed. ‘It never ceases to amaze me.’

  ‘And what am I supposed to do?’ She asked as he looked towards the corner. There was a large stack of labels, envelopes and letters. ‘I’m to stuff them?’

  ‘Stuff away, dear child, stuff away.’

  Glaring at him and putting her headphones on, she got up and sat at the smaller desk, her face to the wall, knowing this small act might make her more appealing to the most damning members of the parish

  And stuff away she did.

  The music played in her ears, and she methodically did hundreds upon hundreds of items, checking everything was perfect. After she had nearly completed them all, seeing it had taken her over two hours, she noticed someone was sitting in an armchair.

  ‘Hello,’ she saw Joe mouth.

  Pulling her headphones out, she was about to rush over when he shook his head from side to side, putting a finger to his lips.

  She forgot she was in the Vicarage and sat back down.

  ‘How’s it going?’ he asked.

  ‘Why don’t they email this out? What a waste of paper,’ she said, staring at him.

  ‘Get the email addresses and set it up. We’re circulating information via email and social media, but it needs to be worked on,’ Joe shrugged. ‘That would be helpful, and it’d cut costs.’

  ‘Hello,’ Suri sighed.

  Every time she saw him, Suri had to pinch herself.

  He was drop dead gorgeous, and it was startling. Today he was dressed in his usual out of work attire. Messy, sexy and casual.

  ‘I was admiring your concentration. It was wonderful,’ he whispered, leaning forward. ‘I’m going to ask you out for a drink.’

  ‘Why are you telling me?’

  ‘Because?’

  ‘Yes and we have a helper,’ said Jack loudly. Joe immediately stood up. Suri glanced over her shoulder and tried not to snarl, so put her headphones on. ‘Suri?’

  She pretended not to hear and continued to work. Two women were standing there, both friends of Janet Peters. Mrs Rogers and Mrs Markham, whom she disliked and also gave her mother a hard time.

  ‘Suri!’ Jack shouted, and she frowned before taking her headphones off. ‘Aren’t you going to say hello?’

  Glancing at Joe, who was watching her, she remembered about being on her best behaviour.

  Getting up, she turned and smiled.

  ‘Hello ladies. I’m a bit busy, so I have to press on.’ She then curtsied and sat back down, putting the headphones back on and hearing the song ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered,’ which made her smile.

  She carried on working, knowing that being with Joe would be a test to her patience and overall good nature, which she lacked in spades.

  Those women spoke about her when she walked down the road, always giving her dirty looks. Suri never confronted the idle gossips.

  There was a hand stroking her shoulder. Joe was standing behind her and grinning. She finished her last envelope and put it on the pile. Bending down he pulled off her headphones, putting one to his ear and smiled.

  ‘I think there’s a lot of work to be done here,’ he said gently, starting to laugh. ‘You look like a bad tempered puppy when you see people you don’t like.’

  ‘They call me the pet puppy at work because of Edgar Peters. I’m used to dog euphemisms.’

  ‘Suri, I love you with all my heart,’ he whispered. ‘But you’re not going to win anyone over with your surly expression and sarcastic curtsey, are you?’

  ‘I don’t care what they think.’

  Joe looked down at the ground then up at her. There was a light shining on his face, and she immediately thought God was intervening.

  ‘You’re not an angel, are you?’ she whispered, getting freaked out at what she was seeing. ‘Because if you are, you’re going to get into trouble for dealing with the devil, based on what you do to me in bed.’

  ‘Good,’ he smiled, kissing her gently on the lips. ‘I’m not an angel but I'd like you to pretend to be one, just for a while. I want everyone to know about us, maybe that’s where I made a mistake before. But you’ve got to help me. I know you can’t stand some of these people, but they support the church, with their time and fundraising. If they get to know you like I have, they’d love you too. Why are you pulling a face?’

  ‘I’m not,’ she said, trying to hide her look of disgust.

  ‘Will you try? For me?’

  She nodded as he stood up.

  ‘Where are the stamps for these?’ she asked, looking at her neat piles of envelopes.

  ‘Didn’t Jack tell you? You’re delivering them by hand.’

  ‘This is exploitation!’

  Wednesday, mid-afternoon, Suri was sat in the pub rubbing her feet after ranting. She knew Jack was guilty as he’d bought her a pint of cider. ‘Joe kicked me out of bed at six in the morning, for the second day on the trot, and told me to get going with the delivery. Not before leaving me a list of things to do by the end of the week. He’s a slave driver not a man from God!’

  ‘I’m not listening,’ Jack replied, shaking his head. ‘Keep me out of your seduction of Reverend Isley.’

  ‘One and a half days I’ve been pounding the streets.’

  ‘Are they all delivered?’

  ‘Yes.’ Jack smiled making Suri suspicious. ‘What?’

  ‘You’re a good girl,’ he laughed and tilted his head to one side. ‘Joe seems exceptionally happy.’

  ‘Don’t see why! He has made me go out with him, in public, two nights in a row. And we can’t touch each other; we have to pretend we’re friends.’

  ‘Anyone spot you?’

  ‘Lots of people and they didn’t look too impressed.’ She sipped her cold drink which made her relax. ‘I’m worried, they’ll be horrible to me because of him.’

  ‘Don’t you mean the other way round?’

  ‘I know what I mean. It will further any ammunition against me.’ Suri then thought for a moment, leaning closer. ‘I’m very much in love with the Reverend.’

  ‘Are you willing to come to church every Sunday to prove it?’

  She immediately sat back up and stared at Jack.

  ‘In time.’

  ‘He’ll need your support, you do know that, don’t you? Someone in his position has to demonstrate that they have the backing of his family and loved ones. Can you do that?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, avoiding eye contact, knowing it would be hard.

  ‘Speaking to all those women you don’t like and who have been rude to your mother. Is it something you can seriously contemplate?’

  ‘I’ll find it in my heart,’ she said through gritted teeth then smiled. ‘Though I’ll have to dig deep.’

  ‘Including Janet?’

  ‘Don’t push it,’ she said, taking a deep breath before knocking back half her drink. ‘I don’t want to let him down, and I’ll do as much as I can to help. He likes working here, and we’ll get rid of that black mark against his name. They’ll be wanting him in Rome!’

  ‘That’s for Catholics,’ Jack said, shaking his head in dismay.

  ‘That’s right, becaus
e everyone will know how wonderful he is; there’ll be begging him to join their faith.’

  ‘But you won’t join his?’

  ‘Jack,’ she said, letting out a loud sigh. ‘How can I, when God has let me down?’

  ‘People let you down, not God.’

  ‘You’re biased obviously and-.’ Her phone started to ring, and she noticed it was from work. ‘I better take this. Hello?’

  ‘Suri, this is Anne, Edgar Peters’ secretary,’ the woman with the kindly Welsh voice said. ‘He has asked me to inform you that a meeting has been arranged on Monday to mediate the situation between Ted Green and yourself at 10.00am. I’ll be sending you a letter, but he wanted to make sure you attend.’

  ‘Is it a grievance or a disciplinary, Anne?’ she asked, sensing something was up.

  ‘It’s a mediation to sort things out. Edgar said you could still have next week off if you attend.’ Anne let out a little laugh before whispering. ‘Whatever you’ve done, it has caused much hilarity with Edgar.’

  ‘Yes, well, he’s a funny man,’ she grimaced. ‘I’ll be there. Do I have to come alone?’

  ‘I’ll check and tell you in the letter. I’ll also email it. See you on Monday.’

  Suri looked at Jack.

  ‘And how are you going to get out of this one, Suri? You moan about that job, but you get paid far too much for doing nothing.’

  ‘That’s not-.’

  ‘You should be grateful you have work. You’re not working long hours and being exploited. Some of the people in our parish haven’t got two pennies to rub together. The most you’ve ever been taken advantage of is when your runner gets you the wrong ice cream.’

  ‘I told you that in confidence,’ she hissed, knowing he was right. ‘I know I’ve got it easy. If I don’t lose my job over this, I’ll be very good from now on. Unless Ted pisses me off, not to mention Denise.’

  ‘You have to apologise to the man,’ Jack solemnly said. ‘You set him up.’

  ‘I will.’

  ‘And go into the community with the man you love and see what he faces day to day. It’s not all cream teas and garden fetes, you know.’

  ‘I realise,’ she guiltily replied.

  ‘He’s a good boy and needs someone who can match that. Even if it is you.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  Joe looked confused. ‘You want to come with me to a homeless shelter?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Suri had taken on board what Jack had said and was keen to show she could support her man. Knowing that Joe was going to spend the night at one on Saturday, she had no choice but to offer.

  ‘I’ve written all the leaflets and booklets, as per instructed. Delivered the envelopes and tomorrow, your favourite day of the week, I will start taking email addresses from your parishioners. See here!’ She held up the forms. ‘I’m prepared.’

  They were sitting on the sofa in his living room as he half smiled.

  ‘You don’t have to prove anything to me. I can go and come back.’

  ‘But I want to help,’ she said, shuffling closer. ‘Show that I’m supporting you.’

  ‘Some of the people, they’re alcoholics and drug users. They come for something to eat and a chat. There’s a needle exchange next door, and we occasionally get families who can’t afford to eat.’ Joe looked away then grabbed her hand. ‘It’s upsetting for them. I, as well as others, try to give them some guidance on where to go for help.’

  ‘But I want to help.’ She realised he wasn’t keen to take her and decided not to push it further. ‘I need to show you I’m a good person.’

  Joe moved closer and kissed her lips gently, stroking her face.

  ‘I know that already.’

  ‘Then what can I do?’

  ‘I’d like people to donate dry goods and tins so I can hand out food parcels to people who need it in the community. Why don’t you work on that?’

  ‘That’s simple. I’ll go and buy a whole lot,’ she said, thinking out aloud. ‘And that’ll kick start it.’ He kissed her forehead and grinned. ‘Beans. People can’t get enough of the stuff and rice. Where will we store it?’

  ‘We'll store it in the church, so people can come in and collect. There’s a backroom where we can discreetly hand things out, and I’ll deliver certain items personally,’ he said turning serious. ‘It’s the humiliation of not letting your neighbours know you can’t afford food. Especially in this area where there are so many that say they have, but more who don’t.’

  Suri stared at him. She was in awe. That was the only way she could describe it.

  ‘Did you have lots of girlfriends before you became a Vicar or more since?’ she asked, knowing that any woman with even half a brain cell would realise how wonderful he was.

  ‘Why’d you ask?’

  ‘You’ve never said.’

  ‘The same amount,’ he smiled.

  ‘Never had a problem?’

  ‘Not that I can remember.’ Then Joe squinted. ‘You look deep in thought.’

  ‘Do you get approached by your parishioners? Like, do they come on to you?’

  ‘Sometimes they have a bond but you learn to deal with it. They confuse their love of God with someone who might work for the church.’

  ‘And your own gay following? How are you handling that?’

  ‘I’m extremely flattered and quite a few have volunteered to help.’ Joe then grinned and shook his head. ‘And I’ve not got eyes for anyone else, other than you.’

  ‘I don’t want to let you down,’ she said, grabbing his hand and feeling emotional. ‘That’s the last thing in the world I want to happen. You need to tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it, okay. Even if I don’t want to do it, I’ll force myself.’

  ‘I can think of one thing.’

  ‘A tin?’

  Naomi was standing with her the following morning, knowing that Suri was going to church. Her friend had checked the simple black outfit that Suri had chosen as they prepared to leave the house. ‘He’s setting you up.’

  ‘Joe wants me to raise money and thinks that if I catch them when they come out of the church, I’ll get some,’ Suri said, looking at the red plastic container, not convinced, then at the clipboard. He also gave her a card to prove she was legitimate to get the cash. ‘I also have to get email addresses and ask for food donations.’

  ‘He’s not asking you for much, is he?’ Her friend started laugh. ‘Are you sure you’re up for this?’

  ‘I want to show him that I’m worth loving and having around.’

  ‘That’s a silly thing to say.’

  ‘It’s the truth. Anyway, I’ve got to face Ted and Edgar tomorrow so some divine intervention is needed.’

  ‘Where is the man of God?’

  ‘He rarely spends the night on Saturdays as he prepares for the Sunday service and plays football first thing. Jack and he split the duties and sometimes, he does it all on his own, like today. That’s when they have a full house.’

  ‘What does Reverend Pinter do?’

  ‘Fall asleep at the back of the church,’ Suri cheekily grinned. ‘But today, he is going to stand close by to see what happens.’ She frowned. ‘I don’t think he’s convinced the local parishioners will be happy to see me. Where’s your man?’

  ‘Coming to meet me at church then we’re going for lunch,’ she said, sighing out loudly. ‘Luckily he doesn’t ask me to participate in his work, like your lover boy does.’

  ‘I’ve done more work for him this week than I do in a whole year. And do you know what? No wonder Jack’s so rotund and I bet Joe’s on his way there. They get food delivered to them twenty-four hours a day.’ Suri smiled. ‘Thanks for coming with me.’

  ‘Oh, so in love!’ laughed Naomi. ‘And pretty stupid considering you know what sort of reaction you’re going to get.’

  ‘It’s just the beginning.’

  Suri had loitered around the church, not going in. She was close enough to hear a sermon and laughte
r of the church goers. But when Joe sang, everything went quiet, and she could hear his voice all around the green.

  It was wonderful.

  From ‘He’s got the whole world in his hands,' he progressed to Bob Marley’s ‘One Love’ finishing off with Stevie Wonder’s ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered,' making Suri smile.

  Then there was a thunderous applause as she turned and watched the man she loved walk out of the church, wearing a white cassock with a black long scarf. If ever he looked like an angel, it was then.

  Joe’s face was radiating a glow, and he was oblivious to her watching him.

  Now her work had to begin so she remembered to keep slightly away and shake the tin, currently containing coins she had donated herself, and try to interact.

  It was dismal.

  The people she didn’t know were reasonable, writing email addresses. Suri handed out the leaflets for donating food, which most people seemed keen about.

  But when the elders of the church came out, the look she received was priceless and upsetting. It’s as if she wasn’t good enough to stand near the place of worship.

  Then she spotted Janet Peters, who looked furious and went straight up to Jack. Joe turned to see what was going on then glanced at Suri, forcing a small smile.

  Slowly some of the women came towards her but she was going to stand her ground.

  ‘Hello ladies. I’m collecting email addresses for Reverend Pinter and money for Reverend Isley to help the needy in the parish. He would also like people to donate food if you can spare any.’

  The five women blanked her while throwing dirty looks then started whispering as soon as they walked past.

  And they weren’t the only ones.

  People who she had known since she was a child did the same thing.

  That hurt.

  She then noticed her mother look at her; the pain evident on what she had witnessed but Suri held it together.

  A dark thought crossed her mind that they would do this to Joe if they ever found out about them.

  Her heart sunk.

  For the first time in ten years, Suri recalled the feeling of being totally exposed and rejected.