by Sabrina Kade
A husky moan rasps through my lips as he explores me. I’m sure he wants to go faster. I’m sure he wants to make me his mate, but that’s something I can’t give him. I don’t want to throw everything away because I’ve found a man—err, alien, who I’m genuinely alive with. But there’s still so little I know about Dolan.
He sucks at singing.
He sucks at taking advice from the other girls.
He’s arrogant. Annoying.
He has issues with his older brother.
He’s possessive and jealous.
And yet, I still can’t find it in myself to reject him completely. I’m enjoying myself way too much. Maybe I owe these touches to Dolan after what I pulled a few days ago. Still exploring my breasts, I dare to look over my shoulder to get a better view of Dolan’s sleeping quarters. It’s not lush like Prince Korben’s, and it’s undoubtedly not minimalist like Hujun’s before Ellis moved in. I’d say it meets somewhere in the middle. There are lots of sun rayers, lots of white, and lavish sheets on the bed. It’s nothing special. And why should it be? This isn’t a cold planet (not to me anyway) so I don’t think there’s any need for down comforters or heated blankets.
Dolan sucks in a breath, and I spin back to him.
He’s breathing hard. Damn, he’s really trying to stay in control for me.
Maybe he doesn’t have to. Not right now.
“Mind if we move this party over to the bed?” My voice is thick, perfumed with how turned on I’m getting, but if this bothers Dolan, he’s not complaining. What shocks me, though, is his aggression at my words. They’ve barely left my lips before Dolan sweeps me off the ground and lays me down on the bed. He pushes up the hem of my skirt and plunges two long fingers inside my folds, and I buck, surprised that he would move so fast.
“Is this remaining in control?” I’m trying to tease him, but looking into his eyes, he’s tormented.
“Too much, yes? Too fast?” I shake my head hard. No, it’s perfect, but I don’t tell him that. He licks his lips, daring to smile, but it’s pained. “I feel the nub my brother spoke of.”
“That’s… that’s my clit,” I manage to gasp.
He inhales deeply. “This clit gives you much pleasure.” To prove his observation, he presses against it before plunging his fingers deep inside me once more, and I cry out. “Please, Layla. May I continue?”
How am I supposed to say no to that? With a single nod, he returns to his work again, fucking my pussy with his fingers like he’s done it a thousand times before. Maybe there’s a reason he’s so arrogant. Maybe there’s a reason he’s so confident. What Dolan’s doing to me right now is not the touch of an inexperienced man—err, alien. Why do I keep doing that? I have to remember, Dolan’s an alien, not a person. This isn’t a love story, it’s my life, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I only want to enjoy this moment. I want to forget about Shep, and a happily after ever.
That’s not for me.
I moan loudly enough to clear the fog in my mind, reaching around Dolan’s neck to fist some of his thick hair. I’m surprised by the texture — silky soft, but almost something artificial about it. Like someone would pay big money for this at the hair products store downtown. I pull his face closer to mine, hoping he’ll kiss me, but he doesn’t understand. This eye contact is too intense. I wish he could close his eyes.
“Are you all right?” he rasps.
I nod, hating that I need to look away. He continues to assault my pussy with his fingers, touching and exploring my clit like nothing’s ever intrigued him so much before. And though he doesn’t kiss me, he leans closer, inhaling the skin covering my neck, in my hair, and across my breasts. It’s so alien. So odd. Not normal. But when Dolan pulls away, and I see the soft, hooded expression on his face, he’s never looked more human.
“You are close.”
I blink, as though coming out of a trance. Arrogant alien thinks he can tell when I’m going to orgasm. Well, he’s wrong. I don’t orgasm from fingering. I need more. I need dick. Most likely, a vibrating one with remote control. I have to think about that nerdy, sex God from that show I used to watch on TV and—
It hits. The TV show with the sex god bursts before my eyes and my vision grows whiter than Dolan’s already snowy-white room. My pussy clenches and Dolan’s fingers remain between my folds as though to capture my orgasm for safe keeping. My body bucks as the aftershocks rock through, and I can’t think about anything other than my pleasure and the alien who gave it to me.
I’m struggling to gather my breath again, finally able to move my hands to push my hair away from my face and sure enough, I’m met with a smug looking Dolan.
“I told you that you were close.”
And he smiles. Fucking smiles. And I’m too tired and satisfied to argue with him too much. I didn’t know it was possible to come so quickly. I never got an orgasm from anything that wasn’t mechanical and shaped like a bullet. And Dolan stole an orgasm from me with a few thrusts of his long fingers. It doesn’t make sense. I’m like the jelly inside a doughnut after what he’s done to me, but instead of continuing to smirk, surprisingly, he lays down next to me, resting his chin on his palm like a human.
“You enjoyed my touch.”
I try to narrow my eyes. “Don’t be so full of yourself.”
“I’m not. I touched you. You liked my touch. You did not push me away. Your nub grew larger and more sensitive. I enjoyed it very much.” He blinks down at me. “Not as much as you, though.”
I frown. “I guess that means you expect me to return the favor then.” I try not to grow sour. Of course, he’s going to want something in exchange for making me come. I’ve already had two orgasms with him, and I’ve offered nothing in return. I suppose he’s right to ask, but the fact that he does saddens me.
“Return the favor?” He has the nerve to look scandalized. “You wish to touch me?” He’s so delighted by the idea that I can’t find the nerve to bark the word no right away. It wouldn’t be true, anyway.
“I… I don’t know,” I confess. “I have to admit; this is all kind of new to me.” I hate how shy I sound. Dolan making me orgasm twice has made me feel all kinds of vulnerable and exposed. Like maybe, I’m not good enough for him. Perhaps I’m not good enough for me. Horrible memories of my father screaming push through my subconscious, but I try to clamp them down. Dolan won’t like hearing about that.
Liar. Dolan would be happy to hear about anything involving you. Stupid brain. Thinks it knows everything.
“New to you,” Dolan repeats, breaking up my inner turmoil. “No other male has touched you?”
“Not like that.” I can’t help blushing.
He smiles. “So, I did very well making you come.”
“Dios mío, Dolan!” I shove him away without thinking, knowing there’s no way he’s going to budge. He’s got me on his bed, and odds are, he wants me to stay. And while maybe I’m not ready to suck his dick or have sex, there is something that would help separate Dolan from so many of the others in my past. “Dolan, have you ever kissed anyone?”
His eyebrows furrow. “Have you?”
“Yeah, back on Earth.”
“Your homeworld?” he guesses, and I nod. “I have seen Azan kiss with his mate. I am not sure how it would feel. I have seen it done, but I have never experienced it personally.”
“Huh.” His words spark a fire inside of me. I guess he does know what a kiss is, but maybe he’s not sure if he wants to kiss me. I lift my chin slightly, stealing a glimpse at his mouth. It’s not a bad mouth. Not, really. There’re two large canines on each side, but his lips are full and soft. I could work around the fangs. The other girls certainly don’t have a problem with them.
“You have something you wish to say, yes?”
I nod, feeling nervous sweat prickling the tip of my nose. Sexy. How does one go about asking an alien for a kiss on the mouth? Should I ask politely? Ask him to do it to me?
“Hold still,” I mutter,
bracing a hand around his massive shoulder. I curl my fingers around the thick, corded flesh, pulling Dolan’s face closer to mine. When his lips part, “Don’t say anything,” I snap. “Not a word. You’re sexier when you’re quiet.”
“I shall never speak again.”
“I don’t want that either. Just… be quiet… now. Uh, please? I want to try this with you…” I close my eyes, preparing myself for the first kiss that could mean something since high school. Dolan’s lips brush against mine. They’re chilled and soft, and so right and—
“Brother. Are you in there with Lay-lah?”
We both jump, slamming our noses into the others. We both grunt in surprise, clutching and moaning as the third voice continues to shatter the delicate peace Dolan and I have stumbled upon.
“Simply let me know, brother.”
“Azan!” Dolan’s voice comes out as a loud, impatient hiss, and he storms from the bed and flings the covering away from his doorway. I can’t see his face, but his shoulders are bunched, and scales are splayed everywhere. “What are you doing here? Spying on me? Again?”
“I wanted to make sure that the female was all right.”
“She’s fine! She came to my lair!” Azan falls silent. “Do you hear me?” Dolan continues to hiss. “She came to me. I didn’t follow her. I told you she would come to me. I pleasured her. She wanted me to. And now you’re here to ruin everything? Why do you always do this?”
Azan sounds abashed. “I did not know she sought pleasure from you.”
I blush.
“Well, she did!” Dolan continues without shame. “She spread her legs for me and allowed me to fuck her cunt with my fingers—”
“Ugh, that’s enough!” I roar, running up behind Dolan and slapping him hard between the shoulder blades. “Geezus, Dolan! Don’t tell everyone every fucking detail!”
“I did not,” he says calmly. “I told my brother. And I certainly did not mention every detail.”
“You said enough.” I can’t help palming my face. Oh fuck, this is so embarrassing.
Azan is standing there. Dolan’s sharing every detail and then having the nerve to be upset with me for not wanting him to have a show and tell with his older brother. Is this normal for aliens?
“Are you distressed?” Azan rumbles, leaning forward. “Did my brother—”
I snap my hand away. “He didn’t do anything, okay? It’s like he said. I came to him. I spread my legs, all right? Geezus! If we’re going to talk about everything, then yes. I sought pleasure. It was my choice, okay?”
Dolan looks pleased as punch, but Azan narrows his eyes at me.
“You have taken him for a mate?”
I blush, lowering my eyes. “Well, no. Not exactly.”
“Not yet,” Dolan boasts. “Soon she will be mine.”
“I didn’t say that,” I snarl.
“So, you seek pleasure from my brother without any desire to have him as a mate one day?” Now Azan looks pissed, shifting his attention back to Dolan. “Brother, I do not like the idea of you offering pleasure like Cade or Dash. You will be hurt if she has no plans to take you as a mate.”
“I didn’t say that either,” I grumble.
Azan’s still fuming. I have to admit, I’ve barely heard this guy say ten words, but now, he’s speaking fully and clearly around his little brother. And with the way he’s shooting looks at me, he doesn’t approve of the way I’m acting. He’s protecting his little brother the way I always tried to protect mine.
“I’m not a sprog,” Dolan continues. “I know what I’m doing.”
“She does not want you for a mate.”
“I didn’t say that,” I say again, rising on my tiptoes to get their attention.
“Then what are you saying?” Azan asks, challenging me with his imposing stance.
“I’m saying I don’t know what I want, but I’m sure as shit not going to figure it out with you hovering over us!” I scream at the top of my lungs. Azan shakily steps backward, golden eyes darting between the two of us. I’m surprised when Dolan wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.
Oh, Dios mío. He’s aroused as all hell.
I try not to look at his erect dick, though it’s hard to avoid when it’s right there.
“So, you see?” Dolan asks. “My future Chosen is feisty, she is not giving in to me so easily. I enjoy this challenge. Not everything was handed to me, Azan.”
His brother’s eyes widen. “You think things were easy for me? Mother and Father always loved you more, Dolan.”
“They respected you.”
Azan swallows hard. “Because of my employment with Prince Korben. Mother and Father…” he trails off, staring down at me as though remembering I’m still here and listening carefully to their conversation. Did I say I think Dolan has problems with his brother? Now, I know. As though realizing this conversation would be best completed at another time (preferably when I’m not there), Azan hisses loudly from behind his mask. “I should head back to York.”
“Did she tell you I was with Layla?” Dolan calls.
“No.”
He’s gone now, but the mood has indeed shifted to something much less promising. Instead of thoughts filled with kissing an alien who drives me nuts, I’m thinking about Dolan and Azan’s family problems, which allows me to round back to my own. Instinctively, I start picking at the spot on my left shoulder, which despite being blemish free, reminds me of the scars I used to carry.
Then a second hand joins the mix, and I jerk my head up, and Dolan’s standing there beside me, trying to figure out what I’m doing.
“Is something wrong?”
I shake my head hard.
“I’m sorry about my brother, Layla.”
“He’s protecting you.” I can’t help the wave of shame that washes over my shoulders, pulling my hand away. Azan’s worried I’m going to hurt his little brother, and I can’t blame him. Do I want a mate? Alien, or anyone? Do I want to stop working? All this time, I’ve thought of Dolan as his own separate entity. Hurting him won’t hurt anyone. Using him won’t upset anyone. But, in my arrogance, I’ve forgotten that he has a family.
Most aliens do.
I swallow hard, thinking about how angry I would be if someone tried to use Shep the way I’m using Dolan. I don’t think anyone would use my little brother for sex, but maybe they’d want to humiliate him. Embarrass him. So many people loved pissing him off because they knew he would overreact. And there’s not much learning to be done when a sixteen-year-old throws a tantrum like a toddler in a tiny twelve by twelve classroom. I bite back the memories and focus on Dolan, already feeling ashamed for what I’ve done to him.
“I like your brother, Dolan.”
He hisses. “He is not available for pleasure—”
“Not like that!” I squeak, waving my hands around before resting them both on his chest. I like the sparse amount of scales there. They remind me of sage leaves; soft and pliable, but breakable. Dolan may be an alien, but he’s not some impenetrable machine. He’s a sentient being like me. I rub my fingers across the few scales, gauging his reaction. “I mean, I like how he watches over you.”
“Sprogs me, you mean.” He rolls his eyes. “He’s always done that. I can’t stand it. I’m no longer at Mother’s breast; I can handle my own business. If I want to spend time with you, I will, regardless of whether you’ll Choose me for a mate, today or the next.”
I wince. “I meant what I said, you know. About how I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.”
“You’re sure. You’re going to Choose me.”
I roll my eyes. “Come on, Dolan.”
“What?”
“You can’t…” I trail off, looking up at him as though expecting a light to go off in his head, but he only continues to stare. “You can’t be so confident in yourself.”
“Why not?”
“Because, no one knows anything, let alone everything. And you’re so sure of yourself.”
And that’s more difficult to hear. I remember Azan’s face, and how disappointed he was not only in Dolan but in me. I sniff, surprised to find that my eyes have grown damp. “Dolan, I don’t know if I can be your mate. Or anyone’s mate, for that matter. I have to keep working.”
“Working? Why?”
“Why?” I snap, staring up at him. “Because… because I do.”
“What is the reason? Do you enjoy this line of work?”
I flush. “Of course, not! Who would like something like this?”
“Are you aware that you will not ever be returned to your homeworld because you are not members of the Galactal Federation?”
“Of course, I am.”
“Then why?”
I’m fuming. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I am your mate, Layla. I would understand anything you tell me. And if not, I would find a way.”
My eyes water. I hate how he can say things like that so casually. Like he’s already my mate, and nothing can change that. But doesn’t he see? I’d be a terrible mate. I’m a user. I’m not a good sibling. Or a daughter. I wouldn’t be here if I were capable of being any of those things.
“Layla, you carry many worries.” Dolan’s voice is soft. “I am sorry my brother riled you up. He is overly protective of me.”
“I get it.” I sniff hard, wiping away the few tears that tried to escape earlier. “And I mean it. I do. I get it. I’m the same way.”
“You have an older brother who was annoying on your homeworld?”
I shake my head. “No. Not exactly. I was the older brother—err, sister. My brother was the younger one.”
“The Shep, yes?” I nod. “And you protected him? How?”
“Not physically!” I can only imagine what he’s picturing right now. “On my planet, we didn’t fight like that. Most people didn’t, anyway. But I guess Shep was pretty close to you guys in that way. Kind of. Sort of.”
My mind races. I’m not sure how much I want to share about Shep yet. Our story isn’t a glamorous one, and I’ll never forgive myself if I start telling Dolan anything that isn’t true. If I’m going to tell him about Shep, I’m going to tell him the truth. What happened with us, and how I ended up here. What I’m hoping continuing to work will do for both Shep and his condition. I hate thinking about all of it. My teeth chatter. I don’t want to think about my father’s cold expression, or Shep’s crazed one, but if I don’t talk to Dolan about what bothers me, his brother is always going to wonder if I’m using him. I may have used Dolan before, but I don’t want to anymore. I want something I haven’t had in a long time.