by Sabrina Kade
I want happiness for myself.
“Do you think… maybe we could get away from here?”
“You wish to go back to the Gathering Room?”
“I mean away from here. Away from the lairs.”
“Oh.” He glances at a spot over my head and then fixes his attention back on me. “You wish to go the first triss?”
“Further.”
His eyes widen. “You wish to see my brother and his mate’s cave?”
“Further.”
His expression drops. He doesn’t like where this is going. “You wish to go beyond the second triss, don’t you?” He swallows. “The waterfalls.”
I nod. “The other day, that’s what I had a bad dream about.” The words tumble from my lips, and I hope they’re all true. “I don’t think the bad dreams will stop unless I can have a positive experience there.”
He’s skeptical, and I hate that I’m using him one last time to get what I want. But what I’m saying isn’t a lie. Not really. I do want to get away from the main lair. I do want to spend some time with Dolan. I do want to create positive memories in a place I’m convinced is going to haunt my dreams. And—
“Didn’t you say there’s food there you need to eat? The protein?”
“Feichka.” There’s a frown in his voice. “You wish to go there? For fresh protein?”
“Yes, please.” I try to keep my tone light, and my voice airy, but nothing’s going past Dolan now. I can’t exactly read his mind, but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that he’s not pleased. “Dolan, I think it would be awesome to go. I’ve never been beyond the first triss, and it’s like you said, you need those proteins. Fresh tastes better than dried, right?”
“Of course.” His frown deepens. “But you also wish to go there to create better memories?”
“Yes.”
“Because of the bad dream you had.”
“Yes.” I try to find some absolute truth in my request. “Dolan, it would mean a lot to me. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a cage. I want to get away. Don’t you ever want to get away? Isn’t that what your brother does with York?”
“He…” He glances away. “He does enjoy spending time away from the others. And this, this is something that you would like?” He doesn’t deny me anything. I can’t decide if this is a good or bad thing.
“I would.” And that’s also true. I do want to get away. And spending time with Dolan could help strip away some of that arrogance. I’ll get to see more of the real Dolan. And that’s something I want more than anything. “Please? Will you talk to Prince Korben about it? I’m sure if you mention the protein, he’ll let you go.”
“He will…” He trails off, falling into silence.
I’ve won, but it doesn’t feel like a true victory. Going to the waterfalls is a whim, and I know it. Part of me wants Dolan to call me out on this, but another larger part of me cheers when Dolan agrees to speak to Prince Korben.
He can’t say no to you, Layla.
Is that a good or bad thing? I’m not sure yet.
CHAPTER FIVE
Dolan
For the first time, I am relieved to see Layla return to the Gathering Room. I long to keep her in my lair, but my mind is too busy. I cannot tell her no. Even when she makes silly requests that are borderline wasteful, I am afraid to deny her. This is the most intimate she has ever been with me. She has stolen pleasure. A little while ago, she allowed me to dip my fingers into her cunt. Knowing I am alone, I sniff my fingers, refusing to wash away the lovely scent dried and coated there. I cannot be with Layla tonight, but I am more than happy to be with the juices that dripped from her slit.
But I do not know what to do about her request. She wishes to go beyond the second triss. I suppose that it is not an unreasonable request. Azan goes there with his mate. Hujun accompanies that sprog-like Chosen of his. But, knowing that Prince Korben would allow me to go beyond the second triss, I am hesitant. Prince Korben is aware that I need feichka protein to survive. He knows that the dried ones we have shipped could never compare to the fresh ones in the water. He would never deny me. Especially if he understood how much this trip meant to a possible mate. There is nothing Prince Korben wants more than to create some smaller version of Sidetha on Hethdiss. That means mates. Sprogs. Cross-species families. An unmated Sidyth would never attempt to steal a human female with a mate. If all the females are mated to us here, there would be little to worry about when it comes to outsiders.
Prince Korben would not deny me the waterfalls and the feichkas. He would worry about outsiders finding out about the human females, but he would let me go.
The problem is, I don’t want to go.
The waterfall is located further north, which is a good and bad thing. The last thing I’d want is to head south because of the wildlife, but the north is not much better. It is cold. It is rainy. I am not strong enough to handle the northern elements of Hethdiss. I am not like my brother or the others who brave the elements to enhance their tolerance. Once I go up north, I will be weakened. Layla will see it, and she will not want me when she realizes how weak I am.
The waterfalls beyond the second triss would be almost impossible to handle if I were to travel on the wrong day.
I have to plan this correctly.
If I choose the wrong day, if I take one of my brothers who are stronger than I, and Layla sees this, I could lose her.
I cannot lose her.
And though I am somewhat confident that Layla is warming up to me, I am not sure she will still want me after a few days in the cold, rainy north.
I swallow hard, laying back in bed. I can talk to Prince Korben. I’ll need his permission, but he can, perhaps, research to discover the best day for traveling. The next delivery, he can ask someone to look at their flat for a weather report. I need a warm day. A stifling day. That way, Layla will never notice my weakness or lack of training. I strengthen my body, yes, but I have never focused much on tolerance.
Azan warned that I have grown soft, and perhaps he is right.
Perhaps, I am not worthy of a Chosen if I cannot handle the frosty elements.
I could train, but that could take many planetary rotations, and I cannot risk Layla’s attention drifting elsewhere. If she is asking to go beyond the second triss, this means that she would like to go soon. I have no choice. I must figure out a warm day for quick traveling.
***
My mood is foul for the next few passings. Layla watches me with apprehension in her eyes but does not mention a trip to the second triss again. She is already losing faith in me. The idea leaves me so chilled I can barely catch my breath.
I speak to a few of my brothers, trying to get an understanding of what is beyond the second triss. Hujun is next to no help, telling me to speak to Prince Korben if I am so interested, but luckily Azan is more than willing to open up to me, after letting me know, once again, that he does not approve in my choice of a mate.
“She is using you, brother.” He shakes his head. “You are happy to have her attention, but perhaps she is not the best one for you. We could take a trip to the secondary lair—”
“Layla is my Chosen.”
“She does not say that.”
I grimace. “She will. This trip is important to her. Do you not remember how much your mate longed for the rain? Did you deny her the rain? Did you deny her the manga?”
He frowns. He knows I’m right. “York was always willing to be my Chosen.”
“So is Layla, but she is different than your mate. The signs are not the same. Please, brother. She will take me as her Chosen if I can make the trip. If I can take her beyond the second triss and show her the waterfalls, and grab some feichkas, she will view me as a worthy Chosen. I will show her my strength and prove to her that no one else is worthy.”
He arches an eyebrow. “The temperature is colder that way. You are heading north.”
“Better than south, and yes, I know,” I admit, raking a heavy hand through my sho
rt hair.
“It will be too much for you.” Azan shakes his head yet again. “I am not sure if Layla is worth all this trouble. You must be reasonable, brother.”
I fume. “I am reasonable. I must figure out which days would be safe for me to travel.”
“None of them are safe enough.”
I hate how my brother’s right. No matter how warm the weather is up north, it’s still going to be difficult for me to handle. The water will be frosty to the touch. How am I supposed to grab the feichkas when I’m going to wail like a sprog every time I dip my hands into the water? How can I impress my future Chosen if she wants me to go somewhere where I’ll only be seen at my weakest?
Azan rolls his eyes. “Regardless of how I feel, you are not going to change your mind about this. I have spoken to Prince Korben about your intentions, and though he agrees with me, I fought to make sure you were able to make this trip safely.”
I sit up straighter in my chair. “You have?”
Another nod. “The weather will be unseasonably warm in two days passings. Prince Korben’s resources tell him that if you made the trip early in the day and returned exactly two suns passing later, you should be all right. It will be uncomfortable but not dangerous. The chances of a storm or a drop-in temperature are minimal.” When my expression lifts, Azan’s falls. “There is always a chance, though, Dolan. Just because the chance of a temperature drop is low, that does not mean it will not happen. You must think of your safety.”
“I will risk my safety for my mate. Would you not?”
“Lay-lah is not your mate.”
“She will be!” I hate how frustrated I am, and how much I’m considering Azan’s words. I don’t have to take Layla to the waterfalls. She would get over it. I think. Or, she would find a stronger, sturdier mate. Stars and moons, she may start pursuing Exer once more. “I have to go there, Azan. It’s not only for Layla. This is for me. I wish to become stronger. I wish to become a mate that Layla would be happy to have.”
Azan appears skeptical but doesn’t fight me. He, of all males, knows the frustration that follows after wanting a female. Nothing stops a Sidyth from making sure they can protect their mate. Nothing stops a Sidyth from making sure they will never look at another male again. Females can be weak. Vulnerable. And though they can squeeze us, human females are not the same. They need male protection more than ever. And Layla is a smaller female. Perhaps, not in the thighs, I think, chuckling to myself, but in other areas.
I want to be a male she is proud to have Chosen.
“If you think this is something you need to build your confidence once again, I will not stop you,” Azan mutters. “I still think that you are being silly. Being confident is one thing but being overconfident is dangerous. If something should happen—”
“I’ll handle it.”
“If the temperature should change—”
“Brother, I will handle it. Hujun was in the collection of talas with dilewilers! I am going nowhere near their territory, and I am not heading south. I am making a simple trip to beyond the second triss. I will show Layla the waterfalls. We will catch a few feichkas and preserve their flesh. Then we will return. You will hardly notice that we are gone.”
Azan doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to.
I have won.
I will make this trip. Layla will see once and for all that I am the best mate for her.
Without a doubt.
CHAPTER SIX
Layla
Dolan’s been on edge ever since we left Prince Korben’s lair.
For some reason, I thought I would be more excited about a trip beyond the second triss. I got what I wanted, after all. I’m leaving my cage. Dolan and I are leaving the lair on the promise of getting some of the proteins he needs to survive. We’re alone. This trip will give me a chance to learn about the alien that’s started to appear in my dreams before Shep arrives and ruins everything.
I got everything I wanted.
I should be happy, but I hesitate after seeing Dolan’s face. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to make this trip, but I can’t figure out why. The one Sidyth that’s always trailing Phoebe around is continually trying to get her to leave the lairs and spend time with him. York is always heading away from the lairs to spend sexy time with her massive, masked alien. Doesn’t Dolan want this too? Doesn’t he want to get away?
The air is muggier than usual, and I’m sweating moments after crossing over the first triss, but Dolan doesn’t mind. He points out the direction we’re heading and occasionally brushes his shoulder against mine while we walk. I want to start a conversation, in fact, part of me hopes he’ll ask me to share more about my brother, but Dolan remains silent, and the only sound is our feet crunching across the teal grass.
Well, if he doesn’t want to chat, I won’t be the first to speak.
I shoulder my pack, relieved that Blythe had something I could use to store some travel items, but I could tell by the look in her eyes, that she didn’t think this trip was a good idea. I don’t understand this whole first and second triss, and lines that we can and cannot cross. Hethdiss seems like a safe enough planet. I haven’t seen a lot of wildlife, which is a little strange, but the only danger here is the Sidyths as far as I’m concerned.
The second triss is behind us within a few hours, but still, Dolan remains quiet. I hate this silence. If he’s so miserable, why did he agree to this trip? Because he can’t say no to you. And you insisted. I frown at the little voice in my head, hating that it’s not wrong. If I told Dolan that this trip was a waste of time, I’m sure he would have been more than happy to stay at home. But the question remains. Why? Why doesn’t he want to leave the second triss? Why can’t any of us go here without Prince Korben’s permission, and then, only if a Sidyth accompanies us?
“Is it much farther?” I dare to ask when I can no longer take the silence. It’s getting weird out here. The trees grow thicker and denser, covering the skies above us. And though it’s pretty and different (how many people can say they’ve seen purple trees with teal leaves?), it’s unsettling. This planet is really alien, and it’s not like this planet is Dolan’s either. This is a planet he and the other aliens have been exiled to.
“Are you sure you know where we’re going?” I’m sure he doesn’t have a GPS in his pocket.
Dolan’s mouth twitches, letting me know that he heard me, but he doesn’t answer. Maybe he’s concentrating. Maybe he’s nervous. Nervous about what, though?
“Are there animals out here?” I ask, tugging on his elbow so there’s no way he can blow me off. “Alien monsters?”
He frowns, looking older than usual. His young, almost childish confidence has waned considerably since we walked beyond the first triss. “There are animals in the north and the south,” he whispers. “The talas clusters house wildlife, but we are not going in that direction.”
I don’t respond, but his words leave me chilled. And relieved. “So, there’s nothing to be afraid of, right?”
“I will protect you.”
Not exactly the answer I’m searching for, but I don’t think Dolan is going to provide much else. He’s intensely focused on this task. Maybe traveling so far away from the others wasn’t such a good idea. We could go back to the lair and talk. Get to know each other like ordinary people. I glance up at Dolan’s pale skin covered with scales. Sort of like normal people.
I’m excited to be out of the cage, but I’m nervous about Dolan’s sullen expression.
He’s trying to keep his cool around me, but I can’t help but notice that he’s not standing as he usually does. His shoulders are hunched. He’s lumbering along, so I’m able to keep up without much trouble. And though he doesn’t sweat, he keeps swiping at his brow and across his broad nose as though something’s bothering him. Maybe aliens get migraines. I’m sure if they do, I’m responsible for more than one of Dolan’s.
I try to lighten his mood by looping my arms through his and falling in step right
beside him. He’s surprised by my actions but doesn’t shake me away. If anything, he’s moving faster now. His chest is puffed out again. Maybe I’m imagining things. There’s no way Dolan’s that affected by traveling. He’s been fine all along. I’m going crazy. Yeay. I’ll add that to my ongoing list of redeeming qualities.
“Hey, Dolan?” He grunts in response. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
My words are met with more silence, but I swear the corner of his mouth crooks upward.
That has to mean something.
***
Maybe I should have given more thought about traveling to the waterfalls beyond the second triss. Most importantly, I should have given more thought to the sheer amount we’d have to walk. I thought it’d only be for an hour or two, but the pink suns are beginning to set, and I don’t hear the slightest trickle of a waterfall in the distance. And when Dolan stops, dropping his pack to the earth and fixes me with a stern expression, I realize (with horror) that we’re done traveling for the day.
“Are we close at all?” I’m doing my best not to sound like I’m whining, but I can’t help it. I’m not athletic like the workout twins. I’m not graced with a slim body like Sloane or Phoebe. I certainly don’t enjoy the outdoors like York. I wanted out of my cage for a little while. I didn’t think we’d have to spend the night in the woods, in a tent. “Is it safe here?”