Edge of Darkness Box Set

by Margaret McHeyzer

  Rolling my eyes, I keep looking outside as the car travels, slowly, toward school.

  “Your parents are interesting too.”

  The hair on my arms stand as my skin pebbles. I swallow. What does he mean? But I still remain quiet.

  “Did you know your father hasn’t been promoted for three years?” I want to ask him how he knows, but that means I’ll be talking to him. “And your mother earns more than your father? Did you know that’s causing your father to gamble?”

  What? Dad is a gambler?

  More questions burn with the need for answers.

  “Your mother has been seeing a man for two years now. Would you like to read the emails she’s shared with him?” My head turns so fast, I’m almost dizzy.

  “No, she hasn’t. And my Dad’s not a gambler.” My life is perfect. Everything is perfect, except for Edgar, who’s forced himself into my life. “Why are you lying to me.”

  “Lying?” He taps one of the men on the shoulder, and he hands Edgar a thick manila envelope. “Here you go.” He hands me the same envelope.

  Hesitantly, I take it and slide out the contents. My heart is going crazy, and I’m shaking like mad. I don’t want to see what’s in here. The first thing my eyes land on is a printout of an email. It’s from my mom’s email address at work to someone other than Dad. The first line makes me gasp.

  This email is intimate, and personal, and says things I don’t want to know. It’s also vulgar and disgusting. What they want to do to each other. What they’ve already done with each other. Fantasies, pleasures, everything.

  My stomach is hit with waves of nausea as the bile quickly makes its way up to the back of my throat. “This can’t be true.” My whole world, everything I know, has been a lie.

  “And if you flip to the next page, you’ll see how much your father has gambled away.” He turns the page, and I see the bank account details. How dismal it is, for how much my parents work. It doesn’t add up.

  “Why are you showing me this?” I ask, tears brimming in my eyes and my stomach churning with worry.

  “Because your perfect world, the parents who you’re insisting won’t like me, aren’t saints. We’re all sinners, Hannah. I refuse to hide my sins from the world. I embrace them.”

  “You’re a monster, Edgar. You’re not a good person.” I throw the papers at him, and turn to keep looking out the window, silently crying as we near school.

  We reach school, and I try to open the door, but I can’t. It’s locked. Of course.

  “I’ll be here this afternoon to pick you up.” He hands me my bag, and suddenly my door opens. Standing outside, holding my door open, is the guy from outside my house yesterday. He smiles at me, trying to make me feel safe, but right now, I feel like my world is about to implode, all because Edgar showed me my parents’ secrets. Mom is a cheater, and Dad’s a gambler.

  “Don’t bother, I won’t be here,” I say to Edgar unsure of what I mean by my own words. But I don’t want to see him.

  Walking away, I hear Edgar give instructions. “Follow her, and make sure she’s okay,” he says to the one who’s supposed to be replaced by another bodyguard.

  This is all too much.

  I break into a run, trying to get away from everyone. I can’t deal with this, not now. Not after what I’ve seen. I run through the hallway at school, and see Kristen and Brad standing near her locker. In tears, I fly past her. She sees my destressed look, and gives chase. She’s on my tail, only a few steps away. “Hannah!” she calls.

  But I go faster. Leaving through the back door, out into the field, past the bleachers as far as I can go.

  Looking behind me, I can see Kristen still running after me, but she’s lagging further and further behind. I have to get away, to be alone. I can’t do this. Not with anyone.

  I need to be alone, and away from everyone. How can I trust my parents after what Edgar showed me? They’re supposed to be the people I can depend on most in my life, and I saw proof that they’re anything but dependable.

  There’s only one place I can go, a place I know is isolated enough not to be bothered by anyone. It’s a place Kristen and I have been to several times. It’s the place where she brought a bottle of tequila out, and we both tried it. I had only one swig from the bottle. It burnt my throat and I didn’t like the taste.

  It’s also the place where she told me she let Jason Masters feel her boobs in seventh grade.

  I haven’t been there in a while, but it’s quiet and calm. It’s the park on the other side of town. No one likes going there, because there’s a cemetery behind it that’s overgrown and unkempt. It looks scary, although it really isn’t. It’s peaceful. Maybe that’s why I like it so much.

  I run toward the park, making sure to keep an eye out for Edgar’s black, shiny car, or the guy he’s set up as my bodyguard.

  Not today.

  When I get to the park, I slow to a jog as I look around and notice how isolated it actually is. There’s no one here. Not a single person. Good, because I couldn’t deal with anyone. Not after those two huge bombshells Edgar dropped on me.

  Toward the middle of the park is a swing set and a slide. No one uses them, and the slide has so much graffiti on it, that you can’t see the original color of it. There are three swings. One is completely broken; the other two are old and worn. This park is clearly neglected, but at least it’s still here. I reckon in the next few years, it’ll be demolished and probably developed for housing or something else.

  Placing my bag on the bottom of the slide, I walk the couple of steps to the swings, and sit on one of them. My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I don’t bother even looking at it. I know it’s either Kristen or Edgar. And I don’t want to talk to either of them. Edgar has unleashed a world of pain on me. I suspect it’s intentional, and my head is so foggy I can’t see why he’d do it. Kristen, well, she just cares about me. She saw me running while I was crying and wants to know what’s upset me so much.

  She’s a beautiful person. And I don’t want to bring her into any of this.

  Pushing myself on the swing, I look out the back at the overgrown cemetery. Tears fall from my eyes as flashes of what I read keep replaying in my head.

  Oh baby, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. My mother wrote. And it makes me sick to my stomach.

  Withdrawal of thirty-five hundred dollars at the casino. My father’s gambling addiction.

  This hurts so much. How can they lie to me? How can they do this to each other?

  I bury my face into my hands and cry. My soul is hurting. My entire world is nothing but a lie. It’s crumbling beneath me, and I can’t stop it. How… why? Why?

  My phone continues to ring, and I opt to turn it off. I don’t want to hear it anymore. I don’t want to be bothered by anyone. I just want to be alone.

  Standing, I take my phone out of my pocket and notice the insane amount of calls I’ve missed. Kristen’s name keeps popping up on the screen. Followed by a number I haven’t saved, but I know whose it is. Edgar’s.

  Kristen calls again, and I answer it on the first ring. I can’t have her worrying. “Hey,” I say through a heavy sob.

  “Where are you and what’s happening?” she asks.

  “I’m not at school. I can’t be there, not today. Cover for me?” I ask even though I have no right to ask her for a favor.

  “Tell me what’s happening.”

  “I… ” Taking a deep breath, I rub at my temple with my free hand. “I can’t. Not today.”

  “Are you in trouble, Hannah? I talked to Zac and he said you might be in trouble.”

  “What? Why would you talk to him?”

  “You’ve been kinda quiet for a few days, and I called him to see if everything is going okay with you two.”

  “I can’t believe you. Why would you do that, Kristen?” I snap at her.

  “Because something’s going on and you’re not talking to me.”

  “Maybe because you think it’s a good idea to go
and ask everyone. You’re a gossip queen, Kristen!” I yell at her before hanging up.

  Jesus, what have I done? I know Kristen didn’t ask Zac about what happened because she wants to snoop. She genuinely cares about me, and I just made it ten times worse by snapping at her out of anger and saying horrible things.

  I can’t deal with this today. I just can’t. Everything is getting worse by the minute. Turning my phone off, I slide it back into my pocket and sit on the swing. Pushing myself, I’m left alone with my thoughts, and the pain of knowing how my parents are just pretending to be loving and happy. Why would they do that? If they’re not happy, they should divorce and be done with it.

  Dad was in a rush to leave this morning, did he really have a meeting, or was he going somewhere to gamble what’s left of their savings in hope he can win back everything he’s lost?

  Is Mom really at work, or is she in some hotel room somewhere, doing something with someone other than my father?

  I burst into tears again, face in my hands.

  “Kitty.” Edgar pulls me into his arms and hugs me tight to his body, stroking my hair. I cry into his chest. I hate how he found me, but I also knew he would. Although, I thought it would take him longer.

  Wiping at my eyes, I step back and sit on the swing again. “How did you find me? I lost… ” I point backward indicating the bodyguard who’s nowhere to be seen. “… him back at the school.”

  “I have my ways,” he says gently.

  “I hate how I feel about you,” I blurt.

  “How do you feel?”

  “I know you’re not a good person, and you’re certainly not a good person for me, but… ” I’m about to tell him, and I know I shouldn’t, but in my moment of vulnerability, I say what I’ve been thinking. “… I’m attracted to you despite the fact I know you’re not a good person.”

  “Just because I deal drugs, doesn’t mean I’m not good for you.”

  I stare at him blankly. “That’s an oxymoron if ever I heard one.” He laughs easily, seeing the humor in this. But truthfully speaking, there isn’t a funny side. This is deadly serious. “I might be attracted to you, but I can’t be with you. Being involved in that world isn’t where I see myself heading, and it would ruin the future I want for myself. I’m anti-drugs. Even when I saw you were smoking, it turned my stomach.”

  “You really don’t have much of an option, Hannah.” Anger sneaks in to settle with all the other emotions I’m experiencing. “You’re mine.”

  “Do you know how cheesy that sounds? You’re not a caveman. You’re a drug dealer.”

  “Who gets what he wants.”

  “I’m sorry, Edgar, I’m not something you can acquire. I’m not a possession, and I’m not a thing. I’m a person.”

  His mouth draws up into a smile, and I notice how perfectly symmetrical his strong, square jawline is. And how incredibly nice looking he is. Beneath the scruff of the stubble and his sinister, dark eyes, he’s an attractive man. I’m sure he can have anyone he wants. “You’re my possession, Hannah.”

  “What’s drawn you to me? Because, really, no matter how you look at this situation, it isn’t normal.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “Normal is subjective. What’s normal for you, may not be normal for me.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  “Your feistiness makes me hot and bothered. And hard.”

  I balk at his admission. But my nerve endings spark alive. Knowing the effect I have on him is turning me on. And I hate myself so much for feeling anything but pure disgust.

  “So, you’re saying if I was more giggly and stopped fighting you, you’d lose interest?”

  “I’m saying, I prefer you this way because it means I’m the one who’s going to break you in.”

  “Now I’m a wild horse?”

  “I hope you buck like one.”

  Ugh. How disrespectful. “You know, for a second I was considering giving you the time of day. But now, after that remark, I know I’ll mean even less to you then whatever hooker you’re going to pick up tonight. I’m not interested, Edgar.”

  “Your words don’t match your actions. I know you want me, and that’s sexy as sin. What’s better is how much I want you, too. So, there’s an easy solution. You come out with me on Friday night. I take you to dinner, then back to my house and we have sex. My itch will be scratched, and you’ll be addicted to me. It’ll be a win-win.”

  I’m staring at him, speechless. The words spinning around in my head can’t make their way to my mouth. He’s staring at me, like he’s expecting me to say “yes,” and fall at his feet. He has another thing coming if he thinks I’m going out with him, especially after that last sentence. “I’m not interested.” I stand from the swing, grab my bag, and start making my way back toward home. But I stop when I hear his heavy footsteps crunching on the dry grass behind me. “How did you find me?”

  “I’m a resourceful man, I can find you wherever you are. Here.” He holds out a cell phone to me. “This way I can contact you,” he adds as he thrusts it toward me.

  I turn my nose up in disgust. “Seriously? Have you got a learning disability? I don’t want anything to do with you. Leave me alone, Edgar, or I’ll have to go to the police.”

  He laughs at me. “I have them on speed dial, want to call them now?” He takes his phone out of his pocket and gives it to me. He’s basically saying he knows them all, and they’re in his pocket. Great. Not just a drug dealer, but one who owns the police.

  I shake my head at him, looking down at both phones in his hands. “My world is crashing down, and you’re hitting on me. Thanks… but no thanks.” Turning, I leave him and his dumb offer.

  “I can take care of you,” he calls after me.

  “I don’t need taking care of, Edgar,” I shout without turning around.

  The guy he had stationed outside my house is only a few feet away. When I pass him, I can hear him following me. It’s no use in telling him to leave. He doesn’t listen to me, he listens to Edgar. He’s merely the pawn in the big picture, nothing else.

  I head back to school, already knowing I’m going to get a slip for being late. It’s not like this happens often, if ever. I make my way toward the office and find the school principal standing just outside in the hall, talking with another student. She sees me, and gestures for me to stop.

  I hang back and wait. Great, now I’m going to have to come up with some excuse as to why I’m late. I hate lying.

  The student, a girl from a younger year, leaves and Mrs. Lewis approaches me with a wary glint in her eyes. “Are you okay, Hannah? You look worried,” she says. Man, she’s so observant.

  Plastering a fake smile on my face, I nod my head. “Yeah, sorry. I forgot my laptop at home, and had to go back to get it.” That came out way too easily.

  Her brow crinkles together, and for a split second I’m fearful she doesn’t believe me and will be calling my parents. Uncertainty thumps through my veins. I’m petrified she’s going to call me on my lie.

  “Get a slip and head straight to class,” she says. Breathing a sigh of relief, I head to Mrs. Jones at the office, and get a slip. She heard what Mrs. Lewis said, so she doesn’t ask me anything. She simply writes the slip out, hands it to me and offers me a stern glare. Mrs. Jones isn’t very nice. She snaps at you if you ask her a question, gives you the stink eye if you’re waiting for her. And she’s old. By old, I think she has to be pushing seventy. But she says she loves what she does, which is why she’s here and not retired. I think she’s horrible.

  Taking myself to class, I hand in my slip and sit beside Kristen. She’s staring at me, anger rolling off her. Her eyes are large and her mouth is pursed into a tight line. I try avoiding looking at her, but I can’t help it. She’s my best friend, and I snapped at her.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper as I lower my eyes in shame.

  “So you should be,” she snaps back. I deserve that. She’s right.

  “I’m really
sorry,” I whisper again.

  The enormity of everything over takes my emotions. I start crying, holding in the sobs so the teacher doesn’t hear them. I try to wipe the tears away, but my attempt is futile. They keep falling.

  Thankfully, I’m only in class for no more than ten minutes before the bell sounds. Standing, I walk as fast as I can to the bathroom and lock myself in the stall.

  Kristen is right there, knocking on the door. “Hannah, what’s going on?”

  Through the sobs, I say, “So much. I… I can’t tell you right now though.” Mom… Dad… Edgar.

  Everything feels like it’s sitting on my chest, a strain so heavy it can never be lifted.

  “Come outside, talk to me.” I shake my head. Inane, because she can’t see me. “Hannah?” she says in a softer voice. “Open the door.”

  I open the door to the bathroom stall and embrace her. “I’m so sorry, I have so much going on and I snapped at you. I just want to go home, crawl under the covers and go to sleep. I want today to be over already.”

  “What’s going on?”

  Hmmm, where to start. Let’s see. The guy I’m attracted to is a drug dealer, who’s dangerous and possessive. I found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad. And my Dad is no better, gambling away whatever my parents have saved. I can’t tell her any of that. “Stuff… everything.” It’s the best I can do at the time.

  “Tell me,” she pushes, trying to get me to open up to her.

  But I can’t. It’s impossible. Wiping at my eyes, I step back and go to splash water on my face. It’s the only thing I can do for now. “I think everything seems worse cause I’m getting my period.”

  She smiles weakly at me. “Oh, so you’re in the emotional stage,” she says sympathetically. “Lucky, only forty or so more years to go before that ends,” she jokes.

  “Yeah,” I respond, happy she’s not pressing me about what’s happening in my life. “Let’s get to class. I don’t want either of us getting in trouble.”

  “I’ll choose detention any day of the week over having my best friend so upset.” She gives me a hug. “If you want to talk, you know I’m here for you.”

  After how poorly I’ve treated her, I don’t deserve her understanding. “Thank you,” I say and return her hug.