“You wanna know what’s going on with me?” I lean into Mom. “I’ve been having sex. Lots and lots of sex. Dirty sex, rough sex, sex with a lot of other men, and a heap of women too.” Mom’s mouth falls open. “Yeah, I’ve been doing that too.” I wink at her.
“Hannah,” Dad says, clutching at his chest.
“Hannah,” Mom follows, lifting her hand to cover her mouth.
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” I laugh at my stupid joke. “Oh, and I had the time of my life. Drank a bit too.”
Dad’s demeanor changes, he straightens his back and lifts his chin. “Who did this?” he asks me.
“I did this, and man oh man, was it fun. You should’ve seen me, Daddy, you would’ve been so proud.” Dad slaps my face, and Mom gasps. “You don’t like me anymore cause I’m dirty?” I blink rapidly at my Dad.
“That’s it, we’re taking you to the hospital and getting you help.” Dad grabs me on my upper arm and starts dragging me out the house.
I turn and punch him in the jaw. He goes flying backward. I never knew I had this strength. “Don’t fucking touch me, you pervert,” I yell. Mom’s standing by the front door, and moves to restrain me. I shove her hard and she hits her back on the door jamb. “Don’t fucking touch me.” I hold my finger up to Mom, warning her. She winces. I laugh at her. “Yeah, thought so.” I take off down the road, and take my phone out of my bra. Dialing Kristen’s number, she answers on the second ring. “Kristen.” I say as I burst into tears.
“Oh my god, Hannah. Where have you been? Your parents have been looking for you, and they called me. I can’t keep lying for you. I told them I hadn’t seen you. Where have you been? You’ve been missing since yesterday.”
Her response angers me. “Great. You’re such a self-righteous bitch. Why didn’t you just cover for me, Kristen? I thought you were my best friend. Obviously, you’re not.”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” she shouts into the phone. “We are friends, but you’ve gone all weird on me, not telling me anything, and being moody at school. What’s happening with you, Hannah?”
“You know what?” I snap at her. “You’re a bitch, and I hate you.” I hang up on her, and keep stomping down the street. What a bitch. I can’t believe she didn’t cover for me. I thought we were friends, what an ungrateful and unreasonable cow. I hate her so much.
Dialing Edgar’s number, his deep gravelly voice answers immediately. “Kitty,” he says into the phone.
“I had a fight with my parents, can you come get me please?”
“I’m not your personal Uber.”
I burst into tears, and beg him to come. “Please? I’ve had a huge fight with my Mom and Dad, and a huge fight with Kristen. I’ve got nowhere else to go.”
He huffs as if he’s irritated. “It’ll cost you,” he says after a moment.
His tone changes to husky and deep. The fight with my parents is now forgotten. Just hearing his voice makes everything better. “I’m good with the price.” I smirk into the phone.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“I’m walking toward school.”
“Okay, I’ll find you.”
Hanging up, I get excited at the fact I’m going to see him again, and hopefully, he’ll give me some more ice. Mom and Dad have killed my buzz. I was so happy and high, and then they went and screwed it all up. It’s all their fault, if they’d just left me alone when I got home, then I’d be in bed, high and happy. Not to mention that bitch, my ex-best friend. God, I hate her guts. Shaking my head, I’m internally fuming at her and the way she’s acting. Like she’s the perfect friend, who’s never done anything wrong.
Mumbling to myself about Kristen, I see Edgar’s car turn the corner. It slows as it approaches me. When he stops, I run across the road, straight to him. “Hey there, need a ride?” he asks once the window is down.
“Don’t know, sugar, where you going?” I like this make-believe world of ours. It’s fast, really sexy, and fun.
“How about you move that cute little ass of yours and get in the car?” I wiggle my butt and Edgar’s eyes move straight to it. “Yeah, now get in and sit on my lap,” he says.
Chills cover my body. I love how he’s so controlling. It does something to me. My nerve endings spark awake and my heart pumps quicker for him. I get in the car and sidle up to give him a kiss. He turns his head, and I end up peppering kisses down his strong jawline, all the way down the column of his neck. “I had a fight with my parents, they killed my high.” I pout but continue kissing.
“Poor baby, do you need some more?” he asks. I nod my head, desperate for another puff on the glass pipe. “What are you going to give me for it?” he teases.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“I have some friends coming in from out of town tomorrow, and I want you to help me entertain them,” he says as he takes the glass pipe out of a small compartment in the rear console beside him. “Do you wanna help me entertain them?” he places a couple of crystals in the pipe, and lifts his lighter.
“I’d do anything for you,” I say as sincerely as I can. I honestly would. Edgar’s shown me a way of life I never thought was possible. It’s liberating and free. It makes me want to spread my wings, and soar through the open sky.
“Would you really?” he asks as he pulls the pipe back before I have a chance to inhale.
“I love you,” I say. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
He places the pipe to my lips and holds the flame from the lighter under the glass bulb where the rocks are. Inhaling deeply, I feel the smoke fill my lungs. Closing my eyes, I let it take me away to the clouds. Floating high, every problem I have has been erased by the intoxicating rush from the crystals.
“Are you flashing?” Edgar asks.
“Huh?” I respond and open my eyes to find him fondling my breasts.
“Are you flashing?”
“What’s that?” I push my breast further into his hand, wanting him to be rough with me. Everything in my body is on overdrive. The highest of highs.
“It’s the highest of rushes.”
“YES!” I exclaim. “I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s better than any other you’ve given me. Why does it feel so good?” The rush peaks, and starts to settle too quickly. “Can I have more?” I ask. “Please?”
“You’re such a good kitty. Here you go.” He holds the pipe out, and I suck it in as deeply as I can. The high is back just as quickly as it began to disappear. It’s amazing. “You’re a good girl, Hannah.”
I smile at him and ride this one out. “Thank you.” The car jolts to a stop, and he opens the door. I look around, but don’t actually recognize the place. It’s not where he’s taken me before, it’s somewhere new. “Where are we?” I ask.
“This is for you.”
It’s a motel, not as nice as the one he lives in, but at least it’s somewhere for me to stay. “It is?” I ask, delighted and happy he’s taking care of me.
“All for you.”
I jump on him, and wrap my legs around his waist. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I kiss him over and over again. He really looks after me.
“You need to pay me though, Hannah.”
“How?” I ask.
“I told you, you have to help me entertain my friends.”
“Okay.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “Will you stay with me tonight?” Kiss.
“Not tonight, but I’ll come by in the morning.”
He walks me into the motel, past a guy who looks like a serial killer staffing the front desk. He’s fat, and wearing a shirt that’s at least two sizes too small for him. His hair is oily and stringy and it hangs limply around his face. “Boss,” he says to Edgar. Edgar acknowledges him with a small head nod.
“You know him?” I ask.
“Yeah, he works for me.”
“Huh.” I think about it for a moment, but I catch the aroma of someone smoking ice and I forget what I was thinking ab
out. “Yummy,” I say as I try to follow the scent.
“No more tonight, Hannah. I’ll bring you some tomorrow.”
“That’s not fair,” I whine. “Just a little bit? I don’t even know what time you’ll come by tomorrow, what if I don’t see you ’til late. You can’t let a girl starve,” I say in a cutesy voice.
“I won’t let you starve. And I’ll be back early tomorrow, because I need to take you shopping.”
“Yay, what are you buying me? My very own pipe?” I clap my hands together.
“No, I’ll be buying you some clothes, and shoes.”
“Boring… ” I roll my eyes. “I can just go around naked, I don’t mind.” I start taking off my top right here in the hallway he’s walking me down.
“Keep your clothes on.” Edgar places his hand to mine, stopping me from taking my clothes off. “You can strip off once you’re in your room.” We approach a door, it’s got a wonky number 6 and a straight number 9 on it. I start giggling. “Here you go.” He opens the door and I step inside.
The room is small. It has a single bed, and a door that leads to the bathroom. It’s darkish, but at least it’s clean. The bedding is ancient; it’s got big orange flowers all over it. “Can’t you stay? I’m going to be so bored if you go.”
“Turn the TV on.” Edgar points to the dated television in the room.
“It doesn’t have cable,” I whine again.
“Read a book.”
I look around the room. “There are no books. Please, stay with me?”
“No,” he says with authority. “But, tonight, take a nice long hot shower. Everything you need is in there, so enjoy it. There’s some snacks in the bar fridge.” He points to a cupboard, then walks over and opens it, showing the small fridge in it. “I’ll be here early tomorrow. Set your alarm on your phone and be ready by eight.”
“Maybe, I should go to school.” I kinda really should.
“That’s fine,” he nearly snaps at me. “If you don’t want to spend time with me, then fine, go to school. I just thought… ” He runs his hand through his hair and sighs deeply.
“What is it?” I rush over and hug him, trying to comfort him.
“I thought you loved me like I love you.”
“You love me?” My heart fills with even more love for him. “You really love me?” I could climb the Empire State Building and scream it for the world to know. I’ve won the jackpot with him. I can’t believe he loves me. I’m the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.
“Of course, I do.” He leans down, and places a kiss to my cheek. “Now, be a good girl and stay here tonight. Tomorrow, we’ve got a big day of shopping.”
“Okay.” I hug him tighter. “For you, I’ll do anything.”
“I know, because we love each other.” He hugs me even tighter. “And just because I love you… ” He takes the glass pipe out of his suit jacket pocket. “Because you’re my special girl.” He lights it, and I get so excited, I nearly jump him right now.
Chapter 15
I didn’t sleep the entire night. Not one moment. My phone kept ringing. It alternated between calls from Mom, then Dad, and even Kristen. I ignored each call. My phone kept ringing, until finally, it ran out of charge and died. They’re all dead to me now. No one understands me.
This is the real me. Not that shy girl who would stay in the shadows and let people boss her around. Nope, that was never me. I like the way I feel now. Except for right now. I’m edgy and angry and pacing the room. My head is going at a hundred miles an hour, and all I can think about is seeing Edgar. I hope he brings the pipe with him. I keep staring at the time; it seems to have stopped. There’s a digital clock by the bed, and every time I look at it, the numbers don’t move. Six-forty-eight. Ugh, hurry up. I need to see Edgar. He said we’re going shopping today, I hope he gives me a little to help me out. I only need a small amount. Just enough to take the edge off.
“Where are you?” I scream as loudly as I can. My voice is so angry, it even scares me.
Someone bashes the other side of the wall on the other side of it. Crap, I hope I didn’t wake them. Who cares if I did? I need my Edgar, and a little suck on the pipe.
“Hey,” I say to myself as I pace back and forth. “Where do you think you’re going shopping?” I try to distract myself, but I can’t. The glass pipe consumes every thought. I look at the clock, six-forty-nine. “Are you kidding me?” I grumble, remembering to keep my voice down.
“I can’t just stay here, I’m going to go mad.” I slip my feet into my shoes, and open the door to the room. Wait, did Edgar leave the key? I look around the room and can’t see it anywhere. Shit, if I leave, I won’t be able to get back in again. But I have to get out, I’m going stir crazy. I just need to walk outside. Get some air into me, and that should make me feel better.
No, Hannah, that won’t make you feel better. You know what will.
It’s true. Walking outside won’t help. Not unless I find some ice. Ugh, no, I can stop anytime I want. I’m not addicted. I’m not stupid. Only dumb people who aren’t careful get addicted to shit like that. I can stop. I just don’t want to.
Six-fifty-two.
This has got to be some kind of joke. It’s not seven yet. This isn’t right, there’s gotta be something wrong with the clock. I walk around to check the cord, and see it’s plugged in right. I continue my pacing, stressing myself out of my own mind.
Grabbing the remote, I turn the TV on and start flicking through the channels. Boring. Boring. Boring.
Nothing is keeping my mind satisfied. All I can think about is my need to see Edgar. As I’m mindlessly staring at the TV, I notice an ashtray sitting on the table. Picking it up, it has some weight to it. So, I open the door, and jam the ashtray between the door and the frame, and step back to see if it keeps it open. Yes! Success. It stays ajar enough for me to able to come and go as I please. I leave the room, and head down the hallway. I think this is the way Edgar and I came in. I’m not sure, though. I was kinda high.
I see the fat guy from last night. He lifts his head to glance at me, then lowers it again. Not even a second later, he comes out from behind his desk. “Where are you going?” he asks as he stands in front of me. His shirt looks even smaller, and dirtier than I remember from last night.
“For a walk.” I try to side step him, but he moves in front of me again.
“No can do. The boss won’t be too happy about that if I let you go.”
I take a step back, clarity pushing forward in my brain. “What? You’re keeping me here, like a prisoner?”
“Nah.” He panics, I can hear it by the pitch of his voice. “Boss told me to watch out for ya, that’s all.”
It doesn’t feel like that’s all. It feels like more than what he’s saying. “I’ll deal with him when I get back.” I manage to avoid him, and run out the front door. I can hear him shuffling behind me, like he’s chasing me, so I run even faster. I’m thinner than him, I can outrun him.
I make it outside, and quickly try to think which way we came in. Truthfully, I was high, and I can’t exactly recall the details. I turn left and run down the side toward a street where I can hear noise. The building itself is seedy, with plenty of graffiti adorning the grimy brick wall. It looks dodgy. Like something you’d see in a low-budget movie.
Yuck.
I walk out on the street, and immediately I notice how it’s bustling. Lots of cars and trucks zoom past, and there seems to be a lot of people out and about too.
Looking around, I know I’m in a crappy part of town. The road is a thoroughfare to get from one end to the other, and it’s used on a daily basis by a lot of cars, but the area itself isn’t particularly appealing to anyone.
A lot of prostitution happens here, and lots and lots of drug dealing.
Hmmm, I wonder if I could find someone to buy a quarter of a gram from. Just a bit to get me through until Edgar comes to pick me up.
I don’t have any money. Damn it. I’m going to have to
wait. But I know he won’t be here for hours. What am I going to do?
Staring at the building as I walk down the sidewalk, I walk into something. “Sorry,” I mumble as I turn to face a police officer walking the beat.
He’s young. He can’t be any older than twenty. Oh no, act normal, Hannah.
“Are you okay?” he asks me as he steps back to access me.
“Ah, yeah. I’m fine.” Act normal, act normal, act normal.
His eyes take me in, looking me over for a long minute before he says, “Are you lost?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snap a little too angrily.
“Hey,” he asserts while standing taller. “Don’t talk to me like that.”
Instantly I drop my eyes to the ground, staring at nothing but my shoes. I feel so embarrassed for talking to him like that. “Sorry,” I mumble.
“What’s your name?”
“Hannah,” I reply in a small voice.
“Where do you live, Hannah?”
Panic rushes through me. “A street that way.” I point in the direction of where Edgar’s put me up to live. God, I love him so much.
Another police officer joins the one who’s talking to me. He’s much older, and much more suspicious. “Martin, leave her. She’s a junkie,” he says tapping the cute cop on the shoulder.
“I am not!” I nearly yell at him.
He huffs at me, and turns to walk away. But the younger one, he stays to keep talking to me. “What are you doing out here?”
“I’m waiting for my boyfriend.”
“He told you to meet him down here?” He looks around at the sketchy part of town.
“Nah, I um wanted to get some fresh air, so I came out for a walk.”
“Where did you say you were staying?”
There’s something oddly familiar about him. Like he’s a friend from way back, but I know he’s not. I’ve never seen him before, but I feel really relaxed around him. It’s weird. “Just over that way.” I point again but don’t actually tell him.
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