I start in the bathroom and take photos trying to show the size of it. I know what Stephanie likes and how she wants to present apartments. It’s all about maximizing the space, and trying to get potential buyers to imagine themselves in it.
Once the bathroom, kitchen and living room have been photographed, I head into the bedroom and start there. Opening the closet doors I notice clothes are neatly folded or hanging. I take images of the room with the closet doors closed. I don’t want to invade these people’s privacy.
Then I make my way into the office.
I hear the front door open, and shake my head. Stephanie must’ve forgotten something.
“What did you forget?” I yell out from the office.
I don’t hear a reply.
This makes me nervous.
“Stephanie?” I call as I leave the room.
“Shit,” he says.
“Shit,” I reply.
The man standing in front of me is tall, has short dark hair and intense, dark eyes. He stares at me.
I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say.
I haven’t seen him in years.
Every memory I have of him comes flooding back. My heart momentarily stops. The palms of my hands sweat and I can feel myself trembling.
“Ivy,” he whispers.
“Tobias.”
He steps forward, and I instantly step back. “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head as if he’s trying to dislodge an annoying thought and retracts his movements.
My guards automatically rise, and I go into a panic mode. He ran from me, and now here he is, in front of me. But no logical thought is going through my mind. “I’ll come back later,” I say as I grab my camera bags. “Let Stephanie know when you’ll be out for a while, and I’ll finish then.”
I’m juggling my camera and the bags, and trying to get my car keys out of my pocket at the same time. I won’t let him dazzle me and try to stop me.
“Ivy, please. Don’t run,” he says as he grabs hold of my upper arm, stopping me before I make it out the door.
“No, Tobias. I’m not the coward. That’s your specialty.” I jerk my arm, breaking out of his grip. “You’re the one who runs.” I inspect his toned body, and he’s more perfect than he ever was. My voice drips with scorn, but my mind tells me he’s still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
“Ivy, please, let me explain.”
“The time for explaining has expired. You had years to do that. You’ve lost your chance.” I draw my shoulders back and lift my head with pride. “I’ll do what you were too gutless to do.” I swallow the spit gathering in my mouth. “Goodbye, Tobias.” I let the door slam behind me and run as fast as I can to the elevator.
I almost expect for Tobias to follow me, and he doesn’t disappoint. I press the button and can see him in my peripheral vision coming toward me. I do the only thing I can, I ignore him and press the button again.
“Hurry up,” I whisper to the elevator.
“Ivy, please, can we talk?”
I keep snubbing him. But the pull between us is far too strong for me to ignore. Lowering my head, I close my eyes and pray this elevator gets here before I weaken and give him the opportunity to explain himself.
“Please,” he begs.
He’s too close. His aroma of apple pie with cinnamon closes around me. He’s so familiar. So damn right. Tears well up in my eyes, but I refuse to let him see me so vulnerable. “No,” I say with conviction. My voice doesn’t betray how I’m feeling. I want to say yes, but he’ll only hurt me again. It’s taken me years to even start getting over him, and now he wants to talk. “Not going to happen, buddy.”
The door to the elevator opens and I step inside. “Please?” he pleads.
“Not today. Not ever.” The doors close, and I finally breathe.
I hold it together until I get to my car. But the moment I’m inside, I break down and cry. I can’t believe it. I thought he was gone, but here he is. Right in front of me, begging me to talk.
I pull myself together, start my car, and head for home. I’m hoping by the time I’m home, Jared will be back from class. My mind is filled with Tobias. Everything I should’ve told him. I should’ve told him how much he hurt me. I should’ve slapped him for leaving me and never explaining why he was so desperate to abandon me. I should’ve said more than I did.
“Ugh,” I scold myself in anger. “Stupid Ivy.”
I’m really not sure how to feel. I want to go back there and rip his head off, but I also can’t because I don’t think I’m strong enough to walk away from him again.
I pull into my parking spot, grab my camera bags, and run up to the apartment. Opening the door, I can smell the familiar scent of pepperoni pizza. “Hey, pizza just arrived,” Jared calls from the kitchen.
“I’ve just gotta go back to the car and grab some more of my equipment. I’ve got news.”
“Okay, I’ll set the table.”
I run downstairs to get the rest of my equipment and head back up to the apartment. Jared pours me a soda and sits at the table. “You will never believe what happened today,” I say as I sit and take a sip of the soda.
“You got laid.”
“Seriously?” I tilt my head and eyeball Jared.
“You’re back with Marc. You decided to go out with him again.”
“Ugh, no thanks. Cheating on me is high on the ‘never do again’ list.”
“Um, you won a million dollars and you’re going to donate half to me?” He flutters his eye lashes at me.
“No.”
“Then what?” He takes a bite from his pizza and waits.
“I saw Tobias today.”
“You… what… who?” He opens his mouth again but stops. “Wait!” he quickly adds. “Tobias who?”
“Tobias. Tobias Baxter. I don’t know of any other.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I shake my head. “The same guy who up and left without even saying where he was going?” I nod. “The same guy who ripped your heart out, stomped all over it when he decided to leave?” I nod again. “No way. That’s total bullshit.” He takes a huge bite of his pizza.
“I know.”
“Wait!” he nearly shouts. “You are not going out with him, are you? Because I’m not afraid to bitch slap you. Or hold you hostage here. Or better still, I’ll show up instead of you and I’ll bitch slap him.”
Jared makes me feel better just by being himself. “No, I’m not going out with him again.” I nibble on my pizza, still distracted by today’s events.
“What happened? How did you see him? What did he say? Does he look as good as he always did?”
“Back up a second. Take a breath.”
“Well?” Jared leans on the table, engrossed in this conversation. “Tell me he’s put on a hundred pounds, has lost his teeth and hair and smells like dirty socks?”
“I wish. He looks better than he did when we were in school. He’s built, and muscled and he smelled sooooooo good.”
“Oh crap, you’re in trouble. Which means, it’s my job to make sure you don’t go down that road again. No way, girlfriend. You’re not falling for him again. I won’t let you.”
“I have no interest in him.”
“Yeah, that right there… ” He circles his finger around my face. “… is total crap. Anyway, what happened? Where did you see him?”
“Stephanie called, and asked me to take photos of an apartment she’s selling. I show up, and long story short, he shows up too.”
“No, I want the long story, not the short one.”
“He begged me to talk to him. I told him no, his chance for talking was years ago, and I wasn’t interested in hearing whatever he had to say now.”
“You did not say that?”
“Yeah, I did. He ruined me, Jared. I can’t go back to that again.”
“Of course, you can’t. He’ll leave again taking your heart with him. And I won’t let it happen. And let’s not even mention your dad, and what he
’ll do if he finds out.”
“Don’t tell him,” I warn Jared. “I don’t want a lecture, or for him to worry about me. I’m finally in a good place with everything. My life is going right and I don’t want Dad to stress.”
“I won’t say anything to him.”
After a few moments of silence, I say to Jared, “He wants to talk.”
“Do you?”
“I think I deserve to know why he left the way he did. But, in a way, I’m afraid I’ll fall for him again. I don’t want to love someone who abandons me when I tell them my ugly secrets.”
“Then forget him. Pretend you never saw him.”
I glare at Jared. “It’s not that easy, and you know it. But I can’t go back. I don’t think I’d survive if he left me again.”
“Then move on.”
“Yep, that’s what I’m going to do. Move on. Good advice, Jared. Move on. Yep. Yep. Yep.”
“You’re rambling,” he points out.
“Because I’m trying to convince myself.”
“Say it often enough and you’ll believe it?”
“Something like that.”
“How about this? Don’t give him the chance to screw with you again. How does that sound?”
“In theory, it sounds perfect. In reality, I’m going to try really hard to not hear him out. But as pathetic as it sounds, I still love him.”
“It’s not pathetic, Ivy. It’s just the way it is,” Jared says in a soft voice. He stands and gives me a hug before taking another slice of pizza and eating it.
I’m still on my first slice, and now I’ve lost my appetite.
“I’ve got an assignment due in two weeks, so I’m going to get a start on it tonight. But, if you want, I can hang with you. Watch a movie? Have some popcorn? What do you think?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll just go take a bath and relax.”
“Okay. But, I’m right here if you need me.”
“Thank you.” I stand and grab my plate, taking it into the kitchen. When I return, I give Jared another hug and kiss his cheek. “I mean it, thank you.”
I leave him and head into the bathroom to run the bath, then make my way into my bedroom to grab what I need.
I light some candles and turn off the lights in the bathroom. When the bath is filled, I sink into it, relaxing as the warm water laps around my body.
The candle flickers, making dancing shadows on the white walls. My head spins with all things Tobias. From the way he looks to the way he smells. His voice is a pitch deeper; his eyes have changed. They seem more cautious. Or maybe aged. He doesn’t look twenty-one, he looks so much older. By the way he stared at me, it appeared like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He dominates my thoughts.
But I wonder if he’s with anyone. If so, is he happy? Does he look at the stars like I do and wonder what I’m doing?
What do I do?
I don’t know.
Chapter 27
I didn’t take the keys back to the office yesterday, not after my run-in with Tobias. I don’t have a shoot today, so I get up, get ready and head into the real estate office. When I get there, Stephanie is in her office. She sees me through the glass wall and gestures for me to come to her.
I head in, and sit in the chair waiting for her to get off the phone. I take my phone out of my pocket and peruse Instagram. I have a new follower request, and when I see the name ‘Tobias Baxter’ the giddiness inside escalates. I should block him, but I know I won’t.
I barely slept last night because I kept seeing him in my dreams. I’m making every effort possible not to allow myself to be affected by him. I’ve been through too much to go back to the way things were.
“What happened?” Stephanie asks the moment she hangs up from her call.
“I’ve got to go back and finish the photos for the apartment.”
“What happened between you and the client?”
“What? Nothing. Why, what did he say?” My body tingles with anticipation. What has he said? Is he going to get me fired? I’ll rip him a new one if he’s screwing with my career.
“He called me last night and begged me for your phone number.”
“He did what?” I look down at my phone, expecting to receive a call from him.
“I didn’t give it to him, Ivy. But he pleaded and begged. I told him no, I needed to talk to you first. He also begged me not to tell you. So, what’s the deal with him? I’ll drop his ass if he tried anything on you.”
Stephanie is a fireball. She’s tiny in size, maybe five-foot-two. But what she lacks in height she makes up for with a ferocious personality. She once coldcocked a client when he grabbed her breast. With her connections in this town, she went on to get him blackballed from all the real estate agents in the area. She’s a tiger. And if she gets wind of someone trying to cross her, or any of her staff, she’ll resort to ruthlessness to screw them over.
“Nothing like that.” I breathe out deeply, and look back down at my phone.
“If he’s harassing…”
“No, he’s not. We dated back in high school.”
“Oh, it didn’t work out,” she says in a small voice.
“You could say that, or you could say he left one day without a goodbye and never returned. I don’t even know why he left.”
“Hey look, I’m no marriage counselor, but have you asked?”
“The thing is, I wanted to know for so many years. But I came to accept that I’d never see him again. Then yesterday, I thought you had forgotten something but it was him. I ran out of there so fast. I’m sorry I didn’t get to finish.”
Stephanie flicks her wrist flippantly at me. “Don’t even worry about the photos. Do you want me to give him your number?”
“No!” I say with a note of panic in my voice. A small part of me thinks I deserve an explanation as to why he ran away like a coward. But a wiser part of me says to leave it in the past. “He broke me,” I whisper. “I can’t go through that again.”
“Okay then. I’ll tell him to find another agent.”
“Please, don’t do that. Just make sure he’s not there so I can go and finish the photos. No need to lose business because of the history we once had. That’s unfair to you.”
Stephanie sits back and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “I’m telling you what I’m going to tell him. If he screws with you, I’ll drop him and make sure no other agent will list him.”
I smile at her scheming ways. “Deal.”
“I know he has class all day today, so you can go over and finish. I’ll come with you.” She stands from behind her table and picks her suit jacket up.
“Honestly, it’ll be fine. I’m okay.” I know Stephanie is protective of her agency and her staff, so I know she’ll be like a pit bull on guard if she comes. And that will make me nervous, and I don’t want to be on edge and nervous.
“Call me if he shows up. I’ll take care of it.”
What I really like about Stephanie is she didn’t pry. She didn’t want the juicy gossip and mechanics as to why we broke up. She believes in what I’ve said, and takes my word without questioning. I really like her.
“Okay, I’ll bring the keys back when I’m done.”
She nods her head, before starting to type on her laptop.
Standing, I head out to my car. My nerves are shot. Stephanie said he’s in class, but it doesn’t mean he won’t stay at the apartment waiting for me.
I have to put my brave face on, and deal with this head-on. If he’s there, then I’ll confront him and get it over and done with. Rip off the Band-Aid quickly.
I can do this.
And even if he is there, and I do confront him, I’ll call Elizabeth and talk to her. With her support, I’ll be able to get through this.
Driving over to Tobias’s apartment, I wind myself up for a confrontation with him. I expect him to be there. Pacing back and forth, waiting for me to open the door.
I park outside and grab my ca
mera bag. Heading up, I give myself a pep talk. This will be okay. This will be okay. This will be okay.
I’m strong. I can do this.
When I reach his apartment, I knock and wait. But I hear nothing.
I blow out a huge sigh. Even though I was ready for a clash, I still didn’t want to have to go through it.
I place my camera bag on the sofa, take my camera out, and head into the kitchen. It looks exactly the way it did yesterday, with one exception. An envelope with my name written on the front of it lies on the counter.
I stare at the envelope for a long minute. The outside world could have stopped for all I know. A world war could’ve broken out. Anything could’ve happened. But in here, time has ceased. The hands on the clock have stopped ticking. Everything is focused and drawn toward the crisp white envelope sitting on the kitchen counter.
It takes all my willpower to step away from it. But my head keeps turning so I can look at it. I really don’t know what to do. I take my phone out of my pocket and call Jared.
“I’m just about to head into class. What’s up?”
“I’m back at Tobias’s apartment.”
“Don’t tell me, he was waiting for you.”
“Not exactly, but I was expecting him to. He’s left me a letter. Should I read it?”
“Ivy,” he huffs into the phone. “I can’t tell you what to do. You’ve got to make that decision. No one else can make it for you.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Sorry, girlfriend, but I can’t help you with this.”
“What would you do?” I ask.
“Let me ask you this. You just said you were prepared for him to be there when you went back. What would you have done if he was there?”
“I was preparing myself for a confrontation.”
“Then you were ready for him to say what he wanted to say.”
“But this way isn’t fair. He’ll get a chance to say what he wants and I can’t reply. That’s not fair, Jared. He’ll get his say.”
“Then don’t take the letter. Ignore it.”
“But I want to prepare myself for whatever bullshit he tries to spout.”
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