“I hope you get it.”
We finish setting the table, and head into the kitchen where I’ve made a lasagna and am now chopping vegetables for a salad. “You’re different since you’ve been seeing him. Are you two dating again?”
“Not yet. We’ve been hanging out, and talking. I want to make sure I’m okay before I step into a relationship with him. He’s got baggage, I’ve got baggage, and I want to know we can work before I take that leap with him.”
“You know, you’ll stumble and you’ll fall. Having him beside you when you do isn’t such a bad thing.”
“Sounds like you’ve already forgiven him,” I say as I grab a couple of tomatoes and chop them.
“I forgave him the day he left. But, I still want an apology.”
“But he hit you, how can you forgive him so easily?”
“Because, I knew when he left, he left for a reason. He wouldn’t have abandoned you if what he did to me meant nothing to him.”
“Why have you never said anything to me before?”
“Because I was hoping he’d come back. For you. And first and foremost, my loyalties lie with you, not Tobias. You needed me to be there for you, and I wasn’t going to push my opinions about Tobias on you, when he hurt you the way he did.”
“You’re a confusing man, Jared. I always thought you hated him.”
“I was angry at him, yes, but I forgave him. To leave the way he did, it made no sense. Here’s a man who threw himself on you to protect you when Tyler Lewis stormed our classroom. It made no sense that he’d leave just because he hit me. He had to leave.”
“But you don’t even know why he left.”
“Nope. Are you ever gonna tell me?” He quickly snatches a piece of lettuce and eats it.
“I can’t, Jared. I wish I could, but it’s not my story to tell. If Tobias wants to tell you, then he will. Just like I’d never tell anyone anything you told me.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Loyal… trustworthy and all that bullshit,” he sarcastically groans. “Why can’t you be a gossip queen?”
“That’s you,” I snap at him playfully.
Jared stands and wobbles his head at me. “Girlfriend, you’ve just taken on laundry duty too.” He clicks his fingers sassily at me.
“No way! I’m not washing your skid marks,” I call to him.
There’s a knock on the door, and Jared turns to look at me.
My hands still and my heart skips a beat with anticipation of how this night might turn out. “I’ll get the door,” Jared says as I place the knife on the kitchen counter. My palms are sweaty and I rub them down the front of my jeans as I walk out of the kitchen and head toward the door.
Jared opens the door and my gaze lands on the most beautiful man in the world. He’s tall, wearing a dark gray shirt, with fitted black pants. He looks perfect. He’s holding a huge bouquet of bright, colorful flowers, and a bottle of wine.
“Jared.” He gives Jared a small nod.
“Tobias. Come in,” Jared replies in an icy tone. I know what he’s doing. He’s not letting Tobias off easily.
Tobias’s gaze seeks me out, and the moment he sees me, he lets out a deep breath. His shoulders instantly relax, and a genuine smile lights up his face. “You’re so beautiful,” he says shamelessly. He shakes his head, like he’s dislodging an illicit thought before he walks over to me and hands me the flowers. “These are for you,” he says.
“Thank you. They’re gorgeous.” There’s a sweet, rich smell filling the room, coming from the flowers. I lean in and give Tobias a kiss on the cheek before heading into the kitchen to find a vase in which to place the flowers.
“Jared,” Tobias says as he stands to his full height.
Jared gives him a once-over, his lips pursed together tightly and his left brow raised. “Yeah.” I love Jared so much, and I’m not going to say anything to him for being short and rude to Tobias. Jared needs to hear an apology, and Tobias needs to say it. That’s what’s needed to start the process of making this right between them.
Tobias offers his hand for a shake. Jared glares at it. He won’t take it. He’s a stubborn diva when he wants to be. “I’m sorry,” Tobias says in a steady and strong voice.
“For what?” Jared counters with snark.
“For a lot of things. But mostly for hitting you. It’s not something I’m proud of. It’s definitely not an excuse, but when I hit you, I wasn’t in a good place.”
“How do I know you won’t hit me again?”
I watch as they both talk. Jared is right to ask questions, and if Tobias wants to mend their relationship, then he better answer them honestly.
“Because I’m a better man than I was. I was struggling with my past, and I thought I was okay.” He takes a breath and looks to me. “Have you…” his words trail off, but I know he’s asking if I told Jared about his past.
“Not my business to tell anyone.”
Tobias takes another deep breath and turns to Jared. “I reacted the way I did because I was messed up. My dad sexually abused me for a long time when I was young. When you said what you did, I felt like you were trying to hit on me. Even though the logical part of my brain knew you really weren’t, I still reacted.”
“Shit a brick,” Jared says as he stares at Tobias. That’s a saying I haven’t heard from him in years. “I get it. Me saying you were cute challenged your sexuality.”
“Yes!” Tobias says with relief. “You understand?”
“I do.”
“I’m so sorry, Jared. When I punched you I knew I was in trouble. I was so ashamed I hit you, and I was ashamed of everything from my past.”
Jared stands opposite Tobias, staring at him. I can see the sympathy Jared has for Tobias. Tobias’s back is to me, and I tell he’s stressed. His shoulders are high with tension.
Jared steps forward and throws his arms around Tobias.
Instantaneously, Tobias’s shoulders soften and he hugs Jared too. It’s quite a stunning sight. My gay best friend and the man I love hugging. Jared breaks away before Tobias, and this makes my heart full. Tobias is comfortable enough with himself to hug Jared and not feel threatened, or ashamed, or anything else.
Jared picks up the wine bottle Tobias has bought over and reads the label. “At least you bought over the good stuff. If it was cheap, I would’ve thrown your ass out.” He uncorks it and sets it on the table. I take the lasagna out of the oven, and bring it to the table. “Okay, you can date her,” Jared flicks his eyes to me.
“I have to make it right first before I can date Ivy again.”
“I’m right here, you know,” I say as I turn to get the salad from the kitchen. “I might not want to date you,” I snap to Tobias.
He shakes his head and smiles. “Then I’m going to have to do everything in my power to win you back.”
“The boy is smooth,” Jared adds. “If you don’t date him, I might.”
“Sorry Jared, I’m a one-woman man.”
“Are you calling me a woman?” Jared asks in a high-pitched tone.
“If the high heel fits.” Tobias shrugs.
This makes us all laugh. I know things aren’t exactly the way they used to be, but we’re also not seventeen anymore. We can all move on to the next part of our lives. Hopefully this means Tobias will be a part of it. I’ll have to wait and see.
“Take a seat,” I say to Tobias. “How are your Mom and Clara?” I ask.
Tobias lifts his wine glass and has a sip before placing it on the table. He’s smiling, as if he’s got a secret he’s busting to tell us. “Clara won the lottery. She’s off, who knows where. She Facetimes with me every now and then. But the funniest part,” he pauses and shakes his head. “The funniest part is she said she found herself a boy toy. Two of them, actually.”
I lift my hand to cover my mouth, but the gasp has already escaped. “Two boy toys?” I’m trying really hard not to laugh.
“Get this. One is in his late thirties and the other is in his early f
orties. She’s having the time of her life. Last week she was on a Greek Island. This week, I have no idea.” He shrugs and smiles.
“Wow, she’s always been so vivacious and loud,” I say.
“You can say that again,” Tobias mumbles under his breath. “Living with her was colorful. But the one thing I knew with absolute certainty, was how she’d always have my back. No matter what, she’ll fight for me tooth and nail.”
The joy in the room quickly dies down, and a serious overtone takes over. I remember what Tobias told me about Clara and what she did to her own son–Tobias’s father. Tobias must be thinking the same thing, because he’s got a faraway look in his eyes. I notice Jared looking between the both of us, confused. “Well, that just killed the mood for the night,” Jared adds, not realizing why we’re both quiet.
“When Clara found out what Dad had done, she near killed him,” Tobias tells Jared.
“I would’ve done the same thing,” Jared says.
“Dad is her son.”
Jared’s mouth opens as his eyes widen. “Well…” he blows out some air and picks his wine glass up. “She’s got some balls. Good for her.”
Tobias turns his head to look at me, and suddenly he smiles. Reaching across the table, he offers me his hand. “She’s got enough balls for both of us,” Tobias says to Jared.
“I ain’t messing with that one. Nope, no way, no sir!” Jared wiggles his finger.
“She bought me the apartment. But I’ve outgrown it, and want something bigger.”
“Oh, that’s why you’re selling. What about school?”
“I finish this year, but I’ve decided I’m going to go to grad school, to get my masters.”
“Are you leaving?” I ask. Suddenly I feel a pain in my chest. We’ve only just found each other again, and now he’s going. I can’t handle this.
“No, the school here offers a master’s program, so, I’ll be staying here.” I blow out a relieved breath. “Come here,” he says to me. I stand and walk around to his side, where he slides his chair out, and sets me on his lap.
I notice Jared leaves the table and I hear the bathroom door close.
“I’m not leaving you ever again,” Tobias says as he brushes my hair away from my face. The pads of his thumbs softly trace my cheek bones.
“I thought you were going again.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t go anywhere without talking to you first. I’m here, Ivy. I’m here forever. Where ever you go, I’ll be there. I can’t leave you again.”
I lean my forehead to his and close my eyes. He gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek. Nothing intimidating or X rated. It’s sweet; he’s sweet. I take in a deep breath, and his familiar aroma of warm apple pie mixed with cinnamon hits me.
“You’re home,” I say while inhaling his intoxicating fragrance.
“I want to be, Ivy. I’ve been working on myself, making sure I’m okay because I want you. I want every part of you.”
This is moving quickly, but he’s my home. There’s no denying it. We belong together. We’ve always belonged together.
“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” he says to me.
“Not for another few weeks.”
“I want to take you somewhere. Will you come with me?”
I nod my head, not needing to verbalize my answer. Of course, I’ll go with him. I’ll go anywhere with him.
“You know something?” he asks. I tilt my head back to look into his eyes. “Yeah you do.” He gives me a cheeky grin. “I love you.”
“I know,” I reply. I’m not ready to give him those words. I know we’re the right fit. Like yin and yang. A perfect combination. Balancing each other. But at the moment, a small part of me tells me I need to protect myself and not reciprocate those words yet. I can feel Azael rearing his ugly head. But I’m stronger now, and I can fight him until he backs down like a puppy with its tail between his legs. Coward.
Tobias leans in and kisses me softly.
We’re meant to be together.
I know that now.
Chapter 32
“Are you ready?” Tobias asks.
“Yeah, I am. I’ve got clothes and one of my cameras. Where are we going?”
“Somewhere.”
“Seriously?” I arch my brows at him. “That’s all you’re telling me?”
He takes my suitcase and I pick up my camera bag. “Yep.” He rolls my bag behind him. “Where’s Jared?” he asks.
“I don’t know. He left late last night. Said he was going to study at Josh’s apartment.”
“Since we moved in together, I barely see him. Doesn’t he like his room here?”
We leave the apartment we’re renting, locking the door behind us. Tobias’s apartment sold, and we all decided to move in together. Tobias and I share a room, and Jared has his own. This apartment is three times the size of the one Jared and I had together. “He told me he loves it here. It’s close to school, and close to Josh too.” I smile.
“Oh, I see. So, Josh is more than a study partner?”
“I think Josh is much more than a study partner. Jared hasn’t really said much to me about him. Just how much he likes him, and he doesn’t want to rush into anything.”
“Good for him. As long as he’s happy. When we get back from…” he pauses for a moment, realizing he’s nearly slipped up and told me where we’re going. “From our vacation, I’ll see if he wants to do something next weekend.”
“I think he’ll like that. But then again, he might be more interested in doing something with Josh.” I wiggle my brows at Tobias.
We head down the hallway to the elevator, where Tobias pushes the call button. “No harm in asking.”
I look down to my small suitcase then back to Tobias. “You made me pack for the cold. Obviously, you’re taking me somewhere colder than here.”
“Yep.” Tobias looks up to see where the elevator is at.
“That’s it? Just, ‘yep’?”
He turns to me with a cute and very cheeky, smile. “Yep.”
“You’re annoying,” I grumble.
“Fair call. I’ll take that. Yep, I’m annoying.” He leans down and gives me a chaste kiss on the cheek. “We’re gonna have so much fun.”
“I’d be having fun right now if you told me where we’re going.”
“I’ll tell you when we get there.”
“Ugh,” I snap. “It’s too early. And we’re leaving the apartment at five a.m. Who does shit like this? Normal people don’t. I don’t like being out of bed this early.”
“It’s a few hours’ drive.”
“How many is a few?”
The elevator dings open and Tobias maneuvers our suitcases in before reaching for my camera bags. I shake my head at him. My cameras stay with me. “About seven.”
“Seven hours? And we’re only going for three nights? It better be good, Baxter.”
The elevator travels down to the garage where my car and his motorcycle are housed. Tobias loads the suitcases in the trunk of my car, then opens the passenger door for me. I like driving, but considering I have no idea where we’re going, I have to let him drive to the destination. “Let’s go,” he announces once we’re out of the parking garage.
I look out the window, and watch as the scenery changes. The weather is never freezing where we live. It’s nice. Even in winter, we don’t often see snow. So, it’s a nice change as we travel north.
“Lake Tahoe?” I say as we take the turn off the highway.
“That’s where we’re going. The snow is melting, but there’s still some left.” He reaches over and takes my hand, gently squeezing it.
“I’ve never been,” I say with a huge smile lighting up my face.
“Good, I like knowing I’m experiencing this with you for the first time.”
I can’t wipe the huge smile off my face. Tobias carefully navigates the roads, and we find our way to a small street facing the lake. “We’re not staying at a hotel?” I ask when he pulls up in fr
ont of a quaint log cabin.
“No. Someone Clara met has a house here, and he’s letting us use it.”
I get out of the car and stretch because it’s been two hours since our last stop. “Wow,” I say as I grab my camera and head straight for the lake. Because of all the stops we’ve made, it’s now nearing four in the afternoon and will be dark soon. But the lake, she’s beautiful. There’s a sprinkling of snow lining the water’s edge, and the smell of the pine trees is strong and fragrant. There are pine trees scattered along the street, but as I glance around I notice how they become denser in some areas, and sparse in others. I notice a duck swimming on his own on the lake, so I take my camera out and snap a picture of him as his head goes under the water and his tail rises in the air.
“Hey,” Tobias says while hugging me from behind.
“This is so beautiful. I’d love to come here in the summer for a vacation.”
“I can make that happen if you want.”
“I want.” I keep snapping photos, trying to make the late afternoon light work for me. I walk down by the water’s edge, and find some huge boulders I can sit on. I’m totally in my element. Everything is so breathtaking that I don’t want to miss out on the late afternoon light.
“I’ll take the luggage up to the house, and be back in a few, okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh as I look out at the magnificence of mother earth. I keep snapping away, taking photos until I hear Tobias return. “You know when it would be just spectacular here?”
“When” He sits on the boulder I was sitting on.
“In fall. I’d love to come here and see the pine trees changing from green to that yellowy-orange color. If we hiked up that way, maybe we’d find a rustic cabin. Oh man, my senses are in overload. Everywhere I look, I want to go exploring. Can we head up and go skiing? Not like I’ve skied before, but how hard can it be? Maybe we can go sledding too? What do you think?”
Tobias is smiling at me as I talk so fast and excitedly. “Just one problem, beautiful. Pine trees don’t change in the fall. But we can do whatever you want. Let’s go up on the slopes tomorrow and ski.”
“Eeek!” I clap as I do a little jiggle dance.
Edge of Darkness Box Set Page 89