Hush, Hush

by Franco, Lucia

  My jaw bobs. I'm struggling to find the right words as his brows grow deeper while he stares at me. I swallow hard. The air is so thick with tension that I’m convinced he can feel it. He looks back and forth between me and Natalie, confusion clear on his face, and places the bagged wine on the table behind me. Thank God he doesn’t see the check.

  "Ah, hey," I say, my throat dry.

  "Is this a bad time? Should we reschedule for another night?" he says, giving my forehead a kiss.

  "Perfect timing, actually," Natalie says. She crosses her arms in front of her chest.

  My heart drops. "Natalie, don't. Please."

  She walks over to us so we're in a circle. Daniel keeps looking between us. The hatred spewing from her runs wild and I'm choking on it so bad I feel like my heart is going to stop.

  "What's going on?" Daniel draws out.

  "Please, Natalie," I beg through clenched teeth.

  She glares at me. "Are you going to tell him, or am I?"

  "Natalie, stop."

  Daniel takes a slow step back. His brows lower. I can feel his hesitation and it's making me even more nervous.

  "Tell me what?" he says, his voice raised.

  There's a long beat of silence. I look at my best friend and see the torment in her eyes. She doesn't want to tell Daniel—that's not her style and we both know it—but she's so hurt right now she's blinded by revenge.

  "Aubrey was having her cake and eating it too." She pauses, nodding more to herself. "She was eating a lot of it."

  Her voice is like syrup, and a slight smile curves the corners of her lips. Natalie walks over to the bottle of wine he brought and uncorks it.

  "What's she talking about, Aub?"

  I'm stunned speechless. She pours three glasses of wine and hands them out, eyeing me with contempt. Clearly unsettled, Daniel takes a nervous sip, and Natalie follows. I don't. I can't.

  "Your amazing, wonderful girlfriend right here has a side job. Has she ever told you about it?"

  His brows deepen. "The nanny job, right?"

  Natalie snickers. The sound grates down my arms. "Oh, you silly thing. Aubrey isn't a nanny. At least not anymore." Her nostrils flare. "You want to tell him the truth yet, or should I continue?"

  "Natalie, just stop it. I know you're upset, but don't do this."

  Casually, she takes another sip of wine and then eyes Daniel.

  "College student by day, high-priced hooker by night." She pauses. "I am too, but Aubrey here has been fucking my dad for millions of dollars on the side."

  I'm speechless. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I know what I did is horrible, but I didn't take my best friend as a tit-for-tat person.

  The silence is deafening until Daniel barks out an incredulous laugh. Lifting the wine glass to my lips, I down the whole thing.

  I watch as Natalie marches into my room and within seconds she's walking back out carrying the box I use to hold the bands of money that I count my clients with. She drops the box onto the table and flips it open.

  I swallow and look at him with panicked eyes. "I think you should go. How about I just call you later?" I place the glass down and try to get him to move, but he stands firm.

  "She has an odd sense of humor, that one," Daniel says, grinning as he sips his wine. He thinks she's playing around. How sad that his perception is quickly about to change.

  Natalie pauses and snaps her eyes to Daniel. "You think it's a joke?" Natalie lifts up a wrapper. I lunge for it, but she moves it out of my reach.

  "Natalie, stop!"

  Daniel is staring at me. He places his wine glass down. "Aubrey?" he asks warily.

  "Natalie, don't do this! Stop!"

  Natalie flips it over and reads it. Her eyes sparkle with retaliation. "Oh, this is a ten-thousand-dollar money band with the number seventeen written on it. I remember when you got your first ten grand." She flicks it to the counter and the paper drifts lifelessly like a feather. She picks up another. I grab the band and crumple it in my hand, crushing it. "This is a thousand…probably just a blowie. Maybe a quick fuck."

  "A blowie?" Daniel says. The humor is gone from his voice. "Aubrey?"

  Tears are dripping down my cheeks. Natalie reads two more, then grabs a handful of the bands and throws them to the table. My heart is breaking, shattering into a million little pieces. I hate that I'm so mad at her when I have no right to be, but I am. I'm fucking furious. I didn't think she'd stoop to this level.

  "If that isn't enough…" She reaches for James’s check and smiles as if she just bought Girl Scout cookies. "Here. Read it if you don't believe me."

  Daniel takes it. His brows lower and he frowns. "James Riviera? As in the attorney? Services?" He pauses. "Five million dollars?"

  "Yeah, that's my pop," Natalie says, almost proudly. She pours another glass of wine and takes a large sip. "She was fucking him for months and now my parents are divorcing. He actually gave her ten mil, by the way."

  Daniel is staring at the check. He's quiet, like he doesn't want to believe it.

  "I can explain."

  He looks at me in utter shock and drops the check like it's on fire. My stomach is in knots, and I feel like I'm going to vomit.

  "It's true? You sleep with men for money? You're a prostitute?"

  "Oh, it's true," Natalie says. "I'm the one who got her the job. Her name is Valentina when she's not Aubrey, and she gives the most fabulous blow jobs."

  I give her a scathing look. She just shrugs casually.

  "You're not a nanny?" he asks me, brows furrowed so deeply together. "You lied to me? This whole time?"

  The hurt look in his eyes makes me feel like the real piece of shit that I am. I'm rendered speechless and have a gut feeling there's nothing I can say that will fix this. He'll never understand.

  Natalie answers for me. "She used to be a nanny. Not anymore. She hasn't been a nanny in, like, almost a year. Right, Ram Jam?"

  My jaw is trembling, heart is sick with grief.

  "When? How?" He shakes his head. "Wait. All the times you had to babysit those kids or go away for the weekend, the stories you told me about them, were they fake?" My lips are pursed together. His eyes widen to large orbs and his jaw drops. "You lied about all of it?"

  Exhaling a heavy breath, I shake my head. "I can explain everything if you let me. It's not what you think. I had this job before I met you."

  Daniel steps back, his eyes widening in repulsion. "You're really a prostitute?"

  I nod my head. "Yes," I whisper, admitting the truth.

  He draws in a harsh breath. "You have sex for money? The entire time you've been with me, you've been cheating on me with other men, for money?"

  "For good money, Danny boy." Natalie adds. I wish she'd just shut the fuck up. "I wouldn't be surprised if she has around five hundred thousand by now. Well, add ten mil to that."

  His eyes bulge. "Five hundred thousand dollars? What are you doing for that kind of money?"

  Natalie lets out a mock laugh. "You don't want to know. Some raunchy shit."

  "That's enough!" I yell at Natalie.

  I look back at Daniel to explain but he puts his hand up to stop me. My heart sinks. I knew he wouldn't accept this type of work, but I didn't expect the look of repugnance on his face either. I’d hoped I could explain it and that he'd possibly understand. The way he's staring at me makes my skin crawl with filth.

  "You're a fucking prostitute, both of you—"

  "I don't have a boyfriend, though." Natalie chimes in, looking pleased. "Or bang my best friend's dad. Or split up a marriage."

  I'm not a violent person, but I'm very close to slapping her if she doesn't shut the fuck up.

  Daniel points his finger at me. "There's nothing you can say that will make me see this situation any differently. Literally nothing at all. We're through. You're a disgusting fucking slut. Here I am asking you to move in with me so we can take it to the next level. I tell you my ex-fiancée had an affair with my best friend, and here you're doing fuc
k knows what with God knows who behind my back? Would you have brought men to my house?" He pales and rakes a repulsed gaze down my body. "Holy shit. Have you been tested? I bet you're a walking STD."

  "Daniel, please. It's nothing like what you're imagining, trust me. It's just sex that doesn't mean anything."

  "What about her father? Huh? If you can throw your best friend under the bus, I can only imagine what you'd do to me."

  I avert my gaze to the floor.

  "That’s what I thought. I want nothing to do with you ever again. I regret meeting you. I wish I hadn't pursued you. I thought you were different. There was a light about you, but who knows. Maybe you were playing me the whole time. Have a nice fucking life, you despicable, pathological lying, fucking piece of trash."

  Daniel storms out the door, slamming it behind him. I stare for a moment in a state of disbelief. Natalie makes a clicking sound under her breath. I look at her and wonder where we go from here.

  The blow is devastating. I knew my risks when I took them, but I didn't expect an impact of this magnitude. I thought I would be done with James before Natalie could find out. I'm sickened over my actions, too blinded by the hush money and all I've never had. I blink a few times trying to wrap my head around all of this. I just lost my boyfriend, and my best friend, in a matter of an hour.

  "I hope you're happy," I say.

  "Oh, I'm only just getting started."

  Fifty-Eight

  "I'm sorry to see you leave," Madam Christine says, sitting behind her desk. "Are you sure it's what you want? We could put you on a freeze until you're ready to come back."

  I hesitate, even though I know what I need to do. Working for Sanctuary Cove has done nothing but cause problems. Problems caused by my greed.

  "Is it wrong to say yes and no?"

  She offers a small smile. "It's hard to walk away from easy cash like this. You'll never make it anywhere else. Why do you think I'm still here?"

  "Yeah," I say under my breath. "Isn't that the truth."

  "You're welcome back should you change your mind."

  I swallow and thank her. "I don't think I'll be back, but thank you." I reach into my purse and grab my work phone. I slide it across the table.

  "Thank you," I say again and stand, then walk toward the door. I pause with my hand on the knob and turn around. "Did you know that James is Natalie's father?"

  Her lips curve just slightly. "Of course I did. You were everything he wanted, and I was happy to make the money. I knew it the moment I met you and was eager to set you guys up. I thought I was going to lose him as a client because no one was satisfying him until you came around. He nearly lost it when I told him you were unavailable."

  I just nod my head. I can't even be mad. Not after I stooped so low to make money, too. I'm not any better.

  Walking out of the club for good, I step onto the street, my gaze immediately looking in that dingy corner for the woman who’s always resting there. She’s not there, and while I'm relieved, I also can't help but wonder if she’s okay.

  I walk down the street to the nearest train station and take the next one to Queens. It's only been two weeks since I lost Natalie and Daniel, the longest fourteen days of my miserable life. I haven't bothered calling Daniel to attempt to fix things. I knew he wouldn’t answer my calls, and I knew that nothing I had to say would matter anyway.

  Natalie, on the other hand, is a different story.

  I've tried talking to her multiple times. She won't give me the time of day. I don't blame her, but I had hoped she'd give me a chance. "You're still here?" is all she ever says and walks away.

  She’s made it very clear she wants me to move out. Now that school is over and graduation is around the corner, I'll start looking for a place to rent. I couldn’t focus on that and packing, final exams, and attempting to reconcile things with Natalie at the same time. It was too much on top of stressing over Grammy. I've barely been able to handle anything else.

  Taking a seat on the bus, my phone vibrates in my pocket. My stomach tightens, hoping it's Natalie since Grammy knows I'm on the way to her house. I pull it out and read the screen.

  "James," I say under my breath. I've missed him so much.

  I stare at the Blocked Caller flashing across my screen. I haven't answered one of his calls since that awful day. I want desperately to slide my thumb across the screen, but I don't…and I won't.

  I decline the call and pocket my phone as the bus comes to a stop. I get off and make my way toward Grammy's house and let myself in. Something feels off, but I can't place what until I step in further. Cats. I smell soiled cat litter, which is not something Grammy would've ever allowed.

  Ms. Shelly turns the corner and walks toward me in her navy-blue scrubs. She's a little grim looking and that doesn’t help the feeling in my stomach.

  "Hey," I say, a little concerned by the smell. "How's Grammy?"

  Her face pulls down. "She's resting. She's had better days…today isn’t one of them." Ms. Shelly pauses. I can tell she wants to say something. "Spend time with her."

  I frown. "Where is she?"

  "In her room."

  "Thanks," I say, and walk to the back of the house. Slowly, I open the door. The room is dark, dreary. The blinds are still pulled shut and I don't like the way the air tastes stale. My chest tightens as my mind goes there but I quickly brush it away.

  "Grammy?"

  She's lying in bed with three cats surrounding her. Her head turns toward the sound of my voice and she smiles, though it’s weak. It's hard to return the smile when I see the battle in her eyes. She's worn out. Anxiety clogs my throat from the fear of losing her.

  "Aubrey," she says softly.

  I take a seat on the side of her bed. My emotions are climbing pretty fast at the sight of her. She looks like she's worsened overnight. I don't want to cry but it's hard seeing her like this.

  Grammy reaches out for my hand. She's cold…and feels fragile.

  "How you doin', honey?"

  "Oh, you know, same old." One corner of my mouths tugs up. Tears blur my eyes. "I came to tell you I got everything situated for graduation so you can be there. I have a wheelchair in place and made sure I got Ms. Shelly a ticket too so she can be there with you."

  Fuck. I can't even say the words without my voice cracking. I hate this state of unease cultivating in my chest. We've talked about this day for years, and now that it's finally here, I'm dreading it. It feels like an ending to a story I'm not ready to say goodbye to yet.

  "I don’t need a wheelchair," she says, and that causes me to laugh. "I can walk just fine."

  "I know you can. I just want to make it easy on you." I take a deep breath. "I have a car service set up for you too, so there's nothing you have to worry about. The ceremony is in a few weeks."

  She rubs my hand with her fingers. "I'm so proud of the woman you grew up to be," she says.

  I'm nothing to be proud of.

  "I really am. I love you, Aubrey Abrams."

  If she knew the truth, she'd be so disappointed in me.

  "I was thinking afterward I can take you out to lunch to celebrate. Any place you want, you name it," she says, and some for reason that causes me to break down.

  I lean forward to hug her and I just start crying. I can't help it, and I can't stop the tears. I burrow my face into the curve of her neck and just hold her. I breathe in her familiar scent.

  "Aubrey, honey. Don't cry. There's nothing to be upset about. This is a joyous occasion and I plan to have a drink with you right after."

  Damn it. My tears are coming in harder and harder, my heart thumping rapidly.

  "I love you," I tell her, my voice muffled. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Grammy." I need to let her know I'm so grateful. "Just… I love you."

  I lie down next to her and hold her hand. My jaw is quivering as more tears threaten to spill over my eyelids.

  "Raising you, though bittersweet, has been the highlight of my life. I wouldn'
t change a thing, other than to have your parents here. I wish I could have given you more."

  I draw in a shaky breath and try not to cry again, but I can't help it.

  "You did give me everything. You gave me what mattered most. Guidance and love. You taught me to respect people and give back to those who are less fortunate than us. You instilled good qualities in me, ones I think about all the time."

  "I just wish I could have done more," she says. I can hear the regret in her voice, and I hate that for her.

  "I plan to open that shelter we talked about for homeless women and children one day," I tell her. I know it would make her happy. "What do you think I should call it?"

  "You're really going to do that?" Her voice quivers.

  I pause for a moment and look at her. "I am. Do you think I shouldn't?"

  "I think it's a wonderful idea and if it's something your heart desires, then you need to do it. I just want you happy and to love your life, and if helping others makes you happy, then you do it. I honestly love the idea."

  I give her a kiss on her cheek. "Thanks, Grammy. Your support means the world to me."

  "Honey, if you want to start a business shoveling cat poop, I would support you. I wouldn't love the idea of that kind of work for you, but I'd still be by your side rooting you on."

  Silent tears run down my temples. "Pick a name for me," I say.

  "Oh, you just gotta put me on the spot, don't you." She laughs, and it causes her to cough. She leans to the side to cover her mouth with a tissue. There's a little blood, and it sounds like she has to breathe in deep to cough and catch her breath.

  "I'm sorry," I say, once it subsides.

  "Bite your tongue. It feels good to laugh. Do me a favor and reach into the nightstand and get the box with the bow. I got something for you to wear to graduation."

  My throat immediately clogs up again. "No," I tell her. "Give it to me after graduation."

  "Don't make me get up and get it."

  "Give it to me after I graduate, when we have our drink," I repeat, my voice a pleading whisper. It's like a bad omen. I know if she gives it to me now, then she won't be there that day. I can't chance it. I just can't.