The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection

by Lauren Child

  For a second the Count was thrown. ‘How did you…? Then he made a grab for it. Ruby tossed the glass key high into the air and it made a tiny tinkling sound as it hit the stone floor somewhere in the pitch-blackness of the vault.

  The Count laughed. ‘Oh dear Ms Redfort – you think because the key is glass that it will therefore break? I’m afraid you are mistaken.’

  This unfortunately was true. Ruby had indeed assumed that a key made of glass would certainly shatter into a hundred pieces.

  ‘Well, good luck finding it before the clock strikes twelve,’ she said, trying to hold on to her bravado.

  Baby Face was gripping Ruby by the hair. ‘What do you suggest I do now?’

  The Count smiled. ‘Oh, you know – kill her.’

  Chapter 40.

  Look into my eyes

  THE MUTTERINGS WERE GETTING LOUDER; Hitch knew he was getting near. He switched off the flashlight and followed the voices. Were there three now? A dim green light was filtering out from under a door – suddenly it opened and Hitch’s heart leapt as he watched Ruby being half dragged, half marched across the passageway by none other than Baby Face Marshall.

  Not dead, thought Hitch, just furious.

  Ruby wasn’t taking it lying down. ‘I don’t like people messing with my hair buster!’

  You tell him kid, hissed Hitch, his hand reaching for his revolver.

  Clancy was standing by the basement door. Unlike Hitch and Ruby he had not studied any plans, and was unlikely to make it through the maze of corridors. What to do? Should he go in or get help?

  As it turned out he didn’t have to make a choice. An elegant hand reached around and took him by the throat.

  ‘Hello waiter boy, you looking for something?’

  Hitch had his gun trained on Baby Face, and was waiting for him to relax his hold on Ruby. No, too risky. He would have to creep up behind him, take him by surprise.

  Baby Face was enjoying the moment.

  ‘So you think you are pretty smart, huh? Clever enough to outwit me?’

  ‘It wasn’t so hard,’ said Ruby. ‘You see Baby Face, you aren’t a good checker – you left me with a very handy gadget, a life saver as it turns out. Always check the prisoner for life-saving gadgets, don’t they teach you that in creep school?’

  Baby Face didn’t like that, he didn’t like it at all. He wasn’t going to be told his job by some teenage brat. He reached into his back pocket to pull out his knife and as he did, Hitch ran out of the shadows, karate chopped him in the back of the neck and Baby Face Marshall slumped to the floor.

  ‘Nice to see you kid.’

  ‘About time you showed up,’ said Ruby. ‘Thought you must have been busy stuffing yourself with canapés.’

  ‘Canapés? Nah, they give me indigestion.’ He took a good look at her. ‘You OK Ruby?’

  ‘Never felt better,’ said Ruby, smoothing her hair and dusting herself off.

  There was a buzz and suddenly light as the power came back on, and there was Valerie Capaldi standing in the doorway, holding a diamond revolver to Clancy Crew’s temple.

  ‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t the secret agent extraordinaire and his little pet.’

  ‘Hello Nine Lives,’ said Hitch. ‘I almost didn’t recognise you – something about you is different, more distinguished somehow… It could be the red hair, or perhaps it’s the scar. You know it suits you – adds character.’

  Valerie Capaldi scowled. ‘You’re going to regret that you disfigured me. I’m going to kill you and I’m going to kill the boy and when I’m done I’m going to kill the girl. How about that?’

  She wasn’t lying, anyone could see that.

  Nine Lives raised the little gun and pointed it at Hitch. ‘Any last words?’ she said.

  ‘Let me think,’ said Hitch, ‘I’m sure I can come up with something.’

  Ruby felt for the dog whistle still around her neck.

  Nine Lives took aim. ‘Too bad I’m gonna mess up that nice suit of yours.’

  Ruby brought the whistle to her lips and gently inhaled.

  ‘Well I guess it’s time to say adios,’ laughed Nine Lives. ‘Look into my eyes – they’ll be the last you see.’

  ‘Not quite!’ shouted Ruby.

  Her voice appeared to be coming from just behind Capaldi, who spun round in confusion – just enough time for Hitch to lunge towards her and grab hold of the diamond revolver.

  Only Nine Lives Capaldi wasn’t letting go. They struggled, Nine Lives lashing out with her claw-like nails, scratching at Hitch’s face. Blood everywhere. Clancy was finding it hard to breathe, his throat caught in her grasp.

  Then there was a shot.

  Valerie Capaldi’s smile twisted into an expression of surprise. Her hand loosened its grip on Clancy and moved to clutch her heart. She looked up at Hitch. ‘You killed me?’ she said as she slid to the floor. In her left hand the diamond revolver glittered, a pool of crimson forming where she lay.

  For just a second the three figures were frozen. Hitch had so many times fought Nine Lives only to watch her somehow leap to her escape – wounded but always alive. Could it really be over?

  Suddenly there was a roar of anger from Baby Face Marshall as he flung himself at Hitch, sending him sprawling across the room.

  The key! The Count!

  Ruby seized the moment. ‘See you in one minute Clance, I gotta do something.’

  ‘Ruby, don’t go!’ he yelled.

  Hitch called out something but Ruby couldn’t make out what it was. She didn’t have time to wait – her watch said one minute to midnight. With the lights back on, the Count would surely have found the glass key – the Buddha might already be gone.

  She sped across to the inner vault just in time to watch as the Count reached his hands into the glass cylinder. He looked up in surprise as Ruby plucked off her remaining shoe and flung it hard at his head. It hit him square in the face and he lost his balance – just for a second, but it was enough. At that moment the clock struck midnight, there was a whirring sound, and in the blink of an eye, the glass cylinder shot up through the ceiling.

  The Count cried out in fury as the Buddha disappeared from view. The vault was plunged into blackness for just a second and when the lights flickered back on, the vault was empty – he was gone. All that was left was the glass key glinting on the stone floor.

  Where is he? Ruby was dumbfounded. He’s got to be in here somewhere – there’s no way he could have gotten past me.

  But it was if the Count had simply dissolved away.

  Suddenly the passageways were swarming with agents and security guards. When Ruby walked outside she saw Baby Face Marshall being led towards a waiting police car, his hands cuffed, his nose bloody. Not such a pretty sight now.

  ‘I’ll get you, brat, you see if I don’t,’ he growled.

  ‘Tell it to the judge, Baby Face,’ shouted Ruby.

  ‘Hey Rube!’ Clancy came running towards her, flapping his arms Clancy-style and sort of hopping up and down. ‘Boy, am I ever glad to see you, I thought maybe… you know… you’d…’

  ‘Gone to a better place?’ replied Ruby. ‘Nah, not me Clance my friend – it takes more than an evil genius to get me popping my clogs.’

  ‘Which reminds me,’ said Clancy, ‘I found your shoe!’

  ‘Gee thanks, I wondered where that had gotten to – turns out these just might be Dorothy’s “ruby slippers” after all. Don’t s’pose you got my glasses there too? These contact lenses suck.’

  A hand ruffled her hair. ‘Hey there Ruby, long time no see.’

  Ruby looked up to see the friendly face of Agent Blacker.

  ‘Thought you might possibly want a jelly donut,’ he said, handing her a brown paper bag. ‘Nothing like a near death experience to give you an appetite.’

  ‘Hey, you read my mind,’ said Ruby.

  Hitch, meanwhile, was talking into his watch transmitter. He looked dishevelled, perhaps even tired, but his easy cool was
back. ‘Yes, Baby Face has been apprehended, he’s being taken away right now.’

  ‘And the others?’ said LB.

  ‘Capaldi just ran out of lives. But I am afraid the Count, well, he got lucky – slipped right through our fingers.’

  ‘He always does,’ sighed LB.

  ‘Just a minute,’ said Hitch. ‘I got someone who wants to say hello.’ He held his watch to Ruby’s mouth.

  ‘Hey there LB, I got a complaint. Those gadgets of yours – you know some of them are faulty? I coulda been toast, you know what I’m saying? Lucky for you I don’t die so easy.’

  The kid’s alive? For one heartbeat LB was speechless – but only for one heartbeat. A second later and she had regained her composure. ‘I presume you are talking about the Bradley Baker gadgets you stole? They are vintage, Redfort – what do you expect?’

  ‘Bradley Baker’s gadgets? How did you know I even had them?’

  ‘I like to think I know most things.’

  LB disconnected the call, let out a deep breath and smiled. That’s some kid, she thought.

  Crowds of people were gathered in the square: fire trucks, TV crews, all the citizens of Twinford, and while no one was looking Ruby slipped under the police tape and up the museum steps. The place was deserted and her footsteps echoed on the marble floor but as she made her way into the great hall she could see the Jade Buddha of Khotan, radiating its mysterious green light, and there standing in front of it was Ruby’s father.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Hey Rube, do I look wiser?’

  Ruby put her head on one side. ‘Nah, just greener.’ Brant Redfort, the lucky soul to look the Jade Buddha of Khotan in the eye at midnight – but then Brant Redfort was born lucky.

  ‘Isn’t it magnificent?’ His voice had a faraway tone and he seemed almost hypnotized. ‘Just look into its eyes.’

  And Ruby did.

  And she saw that the Jade Buddha of Khotan really was something.

  They stood staring at it for a while longer before Ruby said, ‘What are you doing in here anyway? I thought everyone was out looking at the bank not being robbed.’

  ‘I came to look for you honey. Your mother and I were wondering where you had gone to. We have been searching all over – thought you might have gotten lost inside the museum…’

  ‘There you are Ruby!’ came Sabina’s voice from across the hall. She was about to be alarmed by Ruby’s appearance, particularly her T-shirt, which now bore the slogan trouble – the in deep bit somewhat obscured by mud, blood and sand. However, all that came out of her mouth was, ‘oh my! Isn’t it just beautiful!’

  And it was – too beautiful for words.

  The tranquility wasn’t to last, though; the Redforts were roused from their appreciation by the following sharply spoken statement.

  ‘Ruby Redfort! I get kidnapped for a few weeks and look what happens – what in tarnation have you done to yourself?’

  It was Mrs Digby, who was looking pretty extraordinary herself, dressed in one of Mrs Redfort’s evening gowns, a mink stole around her shoulders. Standing by her side was a short man with a huge moustache.

  ‘Mrs Digby!’ said Ruby, grinning. ‘You look a million dollars.’

  Cat Woman

  Ruby was standing outside Mrs Beesman’s house with Clancy Crew.

  He was peering over the fence looking at the debris in her yard. Boy, was it ever a mess.

  ‘We really have to do this?’ said Clancy.

  ‘You got me into this Clance, telling my mom I was such a super nice kid, helping old Mrs Beesman out. Now I guess I gotta be a super nice kid.’

  Clancy sighed. ‘I was only trying to cover for you Rube.’

  ‘I know,’ said Ruby giving him a friendly thump on the arm. ‘Just next time think before you open that big mouth of yours.’

  Clancy frowned. ‘You sure she wants us to clear her yard?’

  ‘I had to talk her into it,’ said Ruby. ‘She took a lot of persuading.’

  They were about to push open the gate when they were surprised by a bleeping sound coming from Ruby’s coat.

  ‘You’re bleeping,’ said Clancy.

  Ruby pushed up her sleeve to reveal Bradley Baker’s watch, still fastened around her wrist. The fly was flashing blue. In all the chaos of last night Ruby had forgotten to hand it back to Hitch. With some trepidation she pushed the talk button and held the watch to her ear.

  ‘Where are you?’ demanded a gravelly voice.

  Ruby gulped. She didn’t really feel up to talking to an irate LB. ‘Look, sorry about the watch and the whistle – I promise I’ll hand them to Hitch before he leaves.’

  ‘Too late for that, Redfort,’ said LB. ‘He’s back at Spectrum.’

  Ruby’s heart sank. Just like old Mary Poppins, she thought, he’s taken off without so much as an adios. ‘He could at least have said goodbye,’ muttered Ruby.

  ‘Goodbye? What do you mean goodbye?’ said LB. ‘I just wanted him to bring in that watch so we can have one of our technicians take a look at it. A faulty rescue device is no good to any agent.’

  Ruby’s mind was working overtime but she couldn’t make sense of what LB was saying.

  ‘You can consider this your week off, Redfort, but I want to see you at 6am in exactly seven days time, no excuses, no sick notes from your mom. Understand?’

  Ruby did not. ‘My week off?’ she stammered. ‘My week off from what?’

  ‘You want to be an agent don’t you? Well, being an agent takes a lot of training. Hitch will be in charge of that so you had better listen to him.’ LB cleared her throat before saying, ‘The rescue watch you can keep, but look after it, it belonged to a friend of mine.’

  ‘You can count on me,’ said Ruby.

  ‘I hope so,’ said LB. She paused. ‘Oh and by the way, you did good kid.’

  WHAT I KNOW AND WHAT I DON’T KNOW

  * * *

  OK so I bet you are wondering what happened to Froghorn? Well, he got himself in some very deep water ‘a good agent should never take his eye of the ball’ that what LB said [sic]. I believe he’s on he coffee and donut detail for the next six months. That’s Spectrum-speak for stakeout duty.

  Why Buzz is called Buzz? It’s simple:

  [redacted text]

  What I can’t tell you is what the Count was looking at with that little laser light thing – who knows if we’ll ever find out, but I’ll bet he wasn’t trying to discover the secret to world peace.

  Clancy’s got a hunch I haven’t seen the last of that fellow. I think he could be right.

  Ruby Redfort

  The Spectrum Agency Test SOLUTIONS

  (1) Solution:

  First take Trunch across the river. Asimov and Carlucci are safe together. Then take Asimov across but since you can’t leave Asimov and Trunch together you must bring Trunch back. Then take Carlucci across the river. Finally come back for Trunch. Everyone is safely on the other side.

  (2) Solution: Put three bars on each side of the scales. If they balance then the gold bar you didn’t put on the scales is the counterfeit. Otherwise put the three bars that are lightest on the scales. Take two of these bars and put them on either side of the scales. If they balance, then the bar you didn’t put on the scales is the counterfeit. Otherwise, the lighter of the two bars is the counterfeit.

  (3) Solution: 42

  Acknowledgments

  Special thanks to my publisher and editor, Ann-Janine Murtagh, for all her help and support during the many years of thinking about writing and actually writing this book. Few editors can be tougher than her and I am grateful for it. I am also very grateful to Adrian Darbishire and Rachel Folder for reading and rereading the text and talking through countless plot options and coming up with some really good ideas along the way. Thanks to Pete Lambert, Lucy Mackay and John Perella for discussing Ruby Redfort ad nauseam. Thank you to David Mackintosh for his beautiful and clever design work and to Nick Lake for his thorough and thoughtful editing. Last of a
ll, thanks a whole heap to Trisha Krauss and Lucy Vanderbilt for advice on American-speak.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Coming up for air

  An Ordinary Kid

  Chapter 1. Don’t back away or they will see you as prey

  Chapter 2. One drop could save your life

  Chapter 3. Plankton and sea cucumbers

  Chapter 4. The recurring dream

  Chapter 5. The shape of a condor

  Chapter 6. An ocean of fear

  Chapter 7. Dolphins, sharks - they’re all the same

  Chapter 8. D for detention

  Chapter 9. All out of fish

  Chapter 10. Sea Division

  Chapter 11. Seriously strange

  Chapter 12. Consequences

  Chapter 13. -... . .- - / .. - --..-- / -. --- ... -.-- / .--. .- .-. -.- . .-.

  Chapter 14. Another Twinford Bay casualty

  Chapter 15. Clutching at straws

  Chapter 16. Don’t look back

  Chapter 17. Something fearsome this way comes

  Chapter 18. White noise

  Chapter 19. Strange and old-fashioned

  Chapter 20. A real potato head

  Chapter 21. Get Zuko

  Chapter 22. No news is good news

  Chapter 23. Love without words

  Chapter 24. Just plain lucky

  Chapter 25. Once in a blue moon

  Chapter 26. Cerebral Sounds

  Chapter 27. An unblemished record

  Chapter 28. I speak the truth

  Chapter 29. A schoolboy error

  Chapter 30. The toes of the sisters

  Chapter 31. A seahorse and a golden bird

  Chapter 32. From the jaws of death

  Chapter 33. Time for some answers

  Chapter 34. Laugh all you like, sucker