The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection

by Lauren Child

  ‘I’ll make a note and see what I can do, you might get lucky. It’s been a pretty weird season, weather-wise,’ he said, turning to the calendar hanging on the wall. ‘She won’t be around until next week; can you hang on a day or two?’

  ‘I guess,’ said Ruby, ‘but it’s a long way to come for a bunch of fungi. I don’t spose you’re going to be visiting Twinford this week?’

  ‘Not if I can help it,’ said Mo. ‘It’s noisy and full of people.’

  ‘That’s what I like about it.’

  ‘Each to their own,’ said Mo. ‘A nice quiet life is what suits me.’

  Clancy was beginning to think it might also suit him. He liked it up here with the trees and the condors and the lack of serious crime since 1951.

  Ruby sighed. ‘I’ll do my best to make it back, but could you maybe call me when you’re certain you got them?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Mo, ‘give me your digits.’

  Ruby scribbled down her number and the guy pinned it up on the pinboard behind him.

  ‘Is there anything to see in this town?’ asked Clancy.

  ‘More than you’d think,’ said Mo.

  ‘My friend here is keen on UFOs and little green men from Mars,’ said Ruby. ‘Anything like that around?’

  ‘Call in at the Little Green Diner. They do a mean Space Burger, ask for a side of Mars fries and tell Silas that Mo sent you and he’ll give you a deal.’

  As they were going out the door they heard the phone ring; Mo picked up. ‘How many letters?’ he said.

  Ruby could see that for Clancy stepping into the Little Green Diner was pretty special. It had been wallpapered in space pictures: Apollo 13, the space craft which made the ill-fated third manned trip to the surface of moon, took up most of one wall and a possible UFO sighting filled another.

  Ruby and Clancy walked up to the counter.

  ‘Mo said to say he sent us,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Oh, he did, did he?’ said Silas. ‘So I guess you’ll be getting a deal.’

  ‘Have you ever seen a UFO Rube?’ asked Clancy, not waiting for an answer. ‘I think I saw one once, took a photograph too, but my sister Lulu says it was actually a Frisbee and to be honest there’s no telling.’

  ‘I think you’d know,’ said a small, thin guy sitting at the counter. ‘When I saw my first UFO, I was in no doubt about what I’d just been witness to.’

  ‘Well, hang on a tiny minute, Walter,’ said the enormous man who sat on the stool next to him. ‘The thing is, no one exactly knows what they are looking for, so it’s easy to get it wrong.’

  ‘I’m not disagreeing with you there, Duke, but when you’ve seen one, you’ve seen one, and I’ve seen two.’

  ‘It’s true,’ said Duke, ‘he’s seen a couple.’

  Clancy was all ears. ‘So what did it look like?’ he asked.

  ‘How you’d expect,’ said Walter. ‘A craft unusual in appearance, moving pretty fast across the night sky, bright lights, no markings.’

  ‘How do you know it had no markings if it was dark and moving at speed?’ asked Silas, who had doubtless quizzed Walter about this many times before.

  ‘I know what I saw,’ said Walter, crossing his arms.

  ‘Why do you think Little Mountain Side attracted so many UFOs?’ asked Ruby.

  ‘Because of the space base,’ said Walter.

  ‘Space base?’ asked Clancy. ‘There was an actual space base here?’

  ‘No,’ said Silas.

  ‘Uh-huh,’ said Walter, ignoring him. ‘It was some kinda space operation? In the Sequoia Mountains.’

  ‘It was an energy plant,’ said Silas.

  ‘Oh yeah, so how do you explain all the comings and goings, all the activity?’ said Walter.

  ‘There were more than a thousand people working there, what do you expect?’ said Silas.

  ‘I’m not talking about any power plant,’ said Walter, ‘I’m talking about something covert here, you know –’ he leant in close – ‘to welcome the aliens.’

  ‘Really?’ said Clancy.

  ‘That’s what they say,’ said Duke.

  ‘Who says?’ asked Ruby.

  ‘No one,’ said Silas. ‘This is Walt talking garbage, as usual.’

  ‘He’s not a believer,’ said Duke, pointing his thumb at Silas, ‘that’s his trouble.’

  ‘Likes to cash in on it though,’ said Walter, holding up a flying saucer serviette.

  It was actually all good-natured banter, and clearly had been said a thousand times before.

  ‘So if there was a space base somewhere here on this mountainside, then why doesn’t anyone talk about it?’ asked Clancy.

  ‘It was all very much on the downlow, if you know what I’m saying,’ said Duke. ‘Not for civilians to know about.’

  Silas shook his head. ‘You guys and your conspiracy theories. It’s a bunch of hogwash. Sven’s father worked at the plant for a whole number of years and he never once mentioned little green men from Mars.’

  ‘Well, he wouldn’t, would he,’ said Walter.

  Duke nodded his head. ‘That’s right, Walt. Sven’s dad would have signed some official secrecy document, everyone who worked there would have.’

  Walter nodded gravely and Silas chuckled to himself.

  ‘I promise you this: if a Martian ever walks into this diner, I’ll shake him by the tentacle and give him a side order of fries on the house.’

  Chapter 9.

  Lucite

  IT WAS DISAPPOINTING TO RETURN to Cedarwood Drive empty-handed, but Ruby had enjoyed a more than interesting day, and Clancy, with all this new information about space craft and aliens, could not be shut up. They caught the bus just as it was about to pull out of the stop, clambered on, taking seats towards the back away from the other passengers. Not that it was crowded: there were only seven other people taking the Mountain bus back to Maple Falls.

  Ruby had a small, spiral-bound notepad and she was staring hard at a list of things set neatly out down the page. On one side:

  What I know

  And on the other:

  What I don’t know

  Some of the things had been crossed out, and moved from the don’t know column to the do know column.

  Why Buzz was called Buzz, for example.

  ‘Why is Buzz called Buzz?’ asked Clancy.

  ‘It’s not as exciting as you think,’ said Ruby.

  ‘What, it’s some kinda nickname?’ asked Clancy.

  ‘Less exciting,’ said Ruby.

  ‘It’s her actual surname?’ said Clancy

  ‘Less interesting than that,’ said Ruby.

  ‘I give up,’ said Clancy.

  ‘It will disappoint you to know,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Try me,’ said Clancy.

  ‘They’re her initials, Brenda Ulla Zane.’

  ‘Oh, that’s kinda disappointing,’ said Clancy.

  ‘I told you,’ said Ruby.

  ‘It’s just totally obvious when you think about it.’

  ‘I know,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Mind you, there’s only one Z,’ said Clancy.

  ‘Yeah, but you would still call her Buzz, one Z or two.’

  ‘I guess.’ He looked back at her list.

  One object, the 8 key, had been crossed out altogether and replaced with:

  The Lucite key-tag.

  ‘The Lucite key-tag,’ read Clancy. ‘What key-tag?’

  ‘The key-tag that was attached to the 8 key,’ explained Ruby.

  ‘Why are you suddenly interested in that?’ asked Clancy. ‘I thought it was all about the Spectrum security key?’

  ‘I figured it had to be the key-tag that was of interest. I mean the locks were all changed as soon as the key went missing. Unless the whole point of the theft was about rattling the whole of Spectrum by proving security was so weak that anyone could break their way in, then stealing the key served no purpose whatsoever.’

  ‘So what’s the purpose of stealing a Lucite key-tag?’ aske
d Clancy. He frowned before adding, ‘By the way, what is Lucite exactly?’

  ‘You know, like Perspex or Plexiglas – Lucite is just a trade name. It’s acrylic. Or, if you want to get technical, Poly methyl methacrylate, a transparent thermoplastic, shatter-resistant, lightweight alternative to glass.’

  CLANCY: ‘So it was light?’

  RUBY: ‘Well, not light light, but not as heavy as glass.’

  CLANCY: ‘Was anything written on it? A number? An image?’

  RUBY: ‘Nothing I could see.’

  CLANCY: ‘So what makes it interesting?’

  RUBY: ‘Nothing.’

  CLANCY: ‘Nothing?’

  RUBY: ‘Nothing except for who it belonged to.’

  CLANCY: ‘So who did it belong to?’

  RUBY: ‘Bradley Baker.’

  CLANCY: ‘Really? You know this? Like for sure?’

  RUBY: ‘Not actually, and not exactly for sure. I guess I’m guessing in a way, but it just stands to reason, cos LB told me it was a memento, that someone gave it to her when she was a child, and I sorta figured the person closest to her was Baker.’

  CLANCY: ‘Why not her dad, or her mom or maybe her grandpa? I mean it could even have been her junior karate master, he was important to her, no? Or her trombone teacher, if she ever learned trombone, that is.’

  RUBY: ‘I don’t imagine she did.’

  CLANCY: ‘Whatever, my point is, it doesn’t automatically follow that it had to be Bradley Baker who gave her the key-tag. It could have been a person of influence.’

  RUBY: ‘OK, you’re right, it doesn’t, but you see, well, I kinda have this strange feeling that it was.’ She looked at him. ‘Do you think I’m losing it?’

  CLANCY: ‘Nah, you’re listening to your gut feeling and …’

  Pause.

  CLANCY: ‘I actually think you’re right.’

  Another pause.

  CLANCY: ‘Well, almost right.’

  RUBY: ‘Almost?’

  CLANCY: ‘You’re saying that the boss of Spectrum 8 was given this key-tag by her best friend when he was a kid?’

  RUBY: ‘Yes, LB said it was sentimental.’

  She stopped talking. And then her eyes widened like she was seeing something.

  It was unusual for Ruby Redfort to feel like she was the last one in the room to see the gorilla. It was more unusual still for her to feel like a complete and utter chump, but this was that moment.

  RUBY: ‘What a bozo! LB wouldn’t use some old key-tag given to her years ago to attach something as valuable as the 8 key, a coder key. Spectrum is a professional outfit, LB’s a professional agent, she hasn’t got time for this stuff.’

  She looked at Clancy.

  RUBY: ‘That’s what you were going to say, right?’

  CLANCY: ‘I wouldn’t have called you a bozo, but yeah.’

  RUBY: ‘How did I swallow that garbage?’

  CLANCY: ‘Quit beating yourself up, everyone screws up once in a while – if we’re talking about me, that would be most days.’

  RUBY: ‘Yeah, well, you saw through LB’s lie right away, why didn’t I?’

  CLANCY: ‘Because why would you? You had no reason to doubt her two months ago. Plus, when LB told you this story you had just survived being dropped from a high building. Your mind was on other things, i.e. wow, I’m not dead.’

  RUBY: ‘Life and death – being thrown from high buildings – I’m supposed to be able to deal with things like that.’

  CLANCY: ‘Yeah, I’m sure it’s all part of the job, but don’t you see, at that moment, right at that particular instance, this whole key-tag tale was just a detail. LB mentions it in passing and why wouldn’t you believe her? Like I said, back then you trusted her completely, if she told you the same story today you’d probably question it.’

  He was right about that.

  ‘So how do you think she did end up with the key-tag?’

  ‘Beats me,’ said Ruby.

  Silence.

  CLANCY: ‘Just one thing I don’t get: if LB is the overarching villain and she is the one commissioning the Count to acquire all these truth serums and cyan scents and stuff, then explain why she would go to all the trouble of stealing her own key-tag?’

  RUBY: ‘That’s easy. She wants to throw Spectrum off the scent. You see, everyone gets paranoid about moles and double agents. They’re all busy wondering who it could be, but no one’s gonna point the finger at her.’

  CLANCY: ‘Seems kinda far-fetched.’

  RUBY: ‘Everything’s far-fetched.’

  CLANCY: ‘OK, but what if LB isn’t the bad guy here, then what?’

  RUBY: ‘Then I guess I’m right, there is more to that piece of Lucite than meets the eye.’

  Clancy took another look at the list of unknowns. ‘So what do you think the deal is with the Jade Buddha? I mean the cyan scent and the truth serum make sense. What criminal wouldn’t want a scent that can lure anyone anywhere? Or a drug that can make anyone blab the truth. But what does the Buddha have to do with any of it? What’s with that?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Ruby, ‘but I think that Buddha holds one pretty big secret, and personally I think the eyes have it.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘It’s in the eyes of the Buddha,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Isn’t that just some old legend?’ said Clancy. ‘Look into the eyes of the Jade Buddha at midnight and halve your age and double your wisdom … I mean what fool believes in that nonsense apart from your dad … no offence intended.’

  ‘None taken, Clance. What I’m saying is, I have no idea what the Count read when he shone that light into its ruby eyes, but I’m guessing he was able to see something, a symbol, or even a code maybe.’

  ‘So can’t you get someone to look into its eyes for you?’

  ‘It’s back in Khotan,’ said Ruby. ‘Who am I going to ask?’

  ‘Can’t you phone someone in China?’ suggested Clancy.

  ‘What, just telephone China and say, “Please take a look at the eyes of the jade Buddha of Khotan”?’

  ‘Not just anyone,’ said Clancy. ‘Obviously it will have to be someone working at the Khotan museum.’

  ‘It’s not as easy as that. I still got to figure what that laser light device was, the one the Count used to read its eyes, it wasn’t any regular flashlight,’ said Ruby. ‘And then I have to convince someone at the museum to go and do it.’

  ‘Get someone else to phone the Chinese, like Blacker or someone?’

  ‘I’m not authorised to investigate anything,’ said Ruby. ‘If I ask someone to put a call through to the Chinese then I’m basically involved in an investigation and only senior agents are permitted to access anything.’

  ‘So ask a senior agent?’

  ‘What, like LB?’ said Ruby. ‘How many ways have I gotta say it, Clance? I don’t want LB to know that I might be onto something if it turns out that she is the something I’m onto.’

  ‘Right,’ said Clancy unsteadily, ‘I guess not.’

  ‘I need to know what happened between LB and Baker. If she killed him then why did she kill him?’

  ‘If only you could trust LB then you could ask her.’

  Ruby sighed. ‘If I could trust LB then I would feel better about a whole lot of things. I might even be able to sleep at night.’

  ‘So you’re going to have to talk to Hitch. You trust him, don’t you?’

  ‘A hundred per cent,’ said Ruby, ‘but I’m not so sure he’d give me the time of day if I asked, so Hitch, you think LB might be a murderer? And to be truthful, I’m not sure I even want to go asking that particular question, at least not until I have a whole lot more information up my sleeve and possibly a hideout or some sort of weapon.’

  ‘Are you scared?’ asked Clancy.

  Ruby looked into the darkness. ‘You bet I’m scared. If I wasn’t, I’d have to be crazy.’

  ‘So what are you gonna do when you next meet her face to face?’

  ‘Hold my nerve
, I guess. The thing is not to let on; act normal.’

  This was actually a Ruby rule. RULE 51: WHEN YOU DON’T TRUST THE OTHER PLAYERS, ALWAYS PLAY YOUR CARDS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST.

  Chapter 10.

  The stars above

  ‘THE WANDERER RETURNS,’ said Mrs Digby as Ruby walked in through the kitchen door. ‘Where have you been?’

  ‘Trying to solve your hen of the woods problem.’

  ‘Well, knock me down with a feather,’ said Mrs Digby, who looked genuinely astonished. ‘Any luck with that?’

  ‘I got a lead on them,’ said Ruby.

  ‘From whom?’

  ‘You gotta understand, I gotta protect my source, but suffice it to say, the wheels are in motion and there’s a good chance I can get the mushrooms to you by the end of the week.’

  ‘Nice work,’ said Mrs Digby. ‘You earned yourself a cookie, cookie.’

  ‘Just one?’ complained Ruby.

  ‘Don’t want to spoil your supper,’ said Mrs Digby.

  Ruby looked at the table, set for two.

  ‘Hitch is coming?’ Ruby asked.

  ‘He better be, I’ve made enough stew to feed an army.’ She reached for a ladle, but was interrupted by the ring of the telephone. ‘Well, howdie, stranger … What? … I can’t say I approve … it’s not good for you to skip meals, did your mother never tell you that? You’ll be jumping into an early grave … I’ll leave it in the warmer, if the dog doesn’t get to it first.’ She put down the receiver.

  ‘He’s not coming?’ asked Ruby.

  ‘He said he had to get off somewhere in a hurry; something about a friend of his with a broken-down car.’ The housekeeper sniffed disapprovingly. ‘He’ll not be long for this world if he doesn’t take the time to eat.’

  ‘I didn’t know he had any friends,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Too many friends, if you ask me,’ said Mrs Digby. ‘He certainly didn’t seem one jot put out by my going off on that cruise. He couldn’t pack me off quick enough.’

  ‘Yeah, well, at least you wound up in the Caribbean,’ said Ruby. ‘He packed me off to spend a month in the back end of nowhere.’

  The housekeeper picked up the dog bowl and served a generous portion to Bug. ‘Anyone would think he wanted rid of us,’ she said.