The Twisted Patriot

by Pirate Irwin

  “Just advice on how to proceed with assignments, how to entrap certain undesirables, that sort of thing. Nothing too glamorous but it paid for my lifestyle and my children’s education back here in England as they stayed with their mother when I left. She found an able-bodied man more her style in any case,” he commented acidly.

  “These undesirables. That is surely a euphemism for ‘blacks’, no. Or do you refer to them as ‘kaffirs’ and ‘niggers’ as most of your compatriots do?”

  “The answer is yes to the first part of your question though it applies to any enemy of the state and no to the second part. I would never use such derogatory terms for people of any race or religion,” he replied firmly.

  “Very good, I am delighted that while you served in an apparatus designed solely to stamp on any sign of justifiable rebellion by an oppressed people you wouldn’t stoop so low in terms of language. It must be that English public school upbringing,” snorted Steiner, drawing laughter from behind him.

  Waiting for the spectators to quieten down, Steiner then pounced.

  “You must be aware of the distaste that the regime in South Africa is viewed with round the rest of the civilized world, with their suppression of the blacks and the splitting up of their families and the poverty and sub-human conditions they are forced to work and live under. Or did you live in such luxury that you turned a blind eye to it?” sneered Steiner.

  Oates went purple in the face at the slight on his disability and thought about replying with something equally rude, but managed to restrain himself.

  “Well, I guess I wasn’t exactly up to the standard of Horatio Nelson, winning the battle of Copenhagen against the orders of the day to pull out, but I would not say that I am a racist and I would defend myself by saying I served South Africa as I served England during the war with honour.”

  “You know, Captain Oates, that there are many people who equate what is being perpetrated on the blacks in South Africa as little better than the Nazis’ treatment of the Jews. Would you concur with that?”

  “No, of course I wouldn’t, and it is sheer hyperbole to say such things. They are not being herded on to trains and transported to factories of death; they are not being treated, for sure, on an equal footing as the minority whites are but the two cases are not similar and for you to suggest that is outrageous,” insisted Oates.

  “It was not me, sir, but other governments. I would never be so pretentious as to think what I say, except perhaps in the courtroom, is of any significance whatsoever. Just one more thing before I let you go. Is the real reason for your coming to the defence of the defendant not because of your desire to see justice done, but instead for you to try and salve your conscience over seeing a man cleared of serving a despicable regime, therefore making you feel happier over what you did in your dishonourable post-war life?” sneered Steiner.

  “I resent such an implication. First, as far as I am aware, although you may know better than me given your broad knowledge of world affairs, South Africa and England are no longer engaged in the Boer War and in fact have been allies during the last two great conflicts, and secondly, I never said the defendant was innocent of the charges levelled at him. I am one for justice being done and I have no truc with his donning a German uniform under any circumstances. As Mark Anthony declared in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, ‘I have not come here to praise Caesar’ in his oration after the assassination, I came to say my little bit on what I knew of the defendant at the time that was pertinent to part of his case. What happens now is up to you, Mr Steiner.”

  “You can leave it to me, Captain Oates. However, I must ask you to finish that rather delicious quote you cut short, or do you need me to finish that off as well,” said Steiner with a dark smirk.

  “I don’t think it’s relevant. In any case it was me who preferred it, and not you who asked for it to be said,” replied Oates in a somewhat flustered tone.

  “I am afraid, Captain Oates, you have lost touch with many things British, not least the etiquette of the courtroom. I may not have asked you to bring Shakespeare into your testimony, though once again your public school upbringing has bubbled to the surface in a most impressive fashion. I have the power to order you to answer the question and if you resist then I will ask the judge to ensure you do respond. So please avoid such a standoff and finish off the quotation,” chided Steiner.

  Oates cursed himself for being so stupid, and wanting to show off, and resignedly agreed to give him what he wanted.

  “I come not to praise Caesar but to bury him,” replied Oates grimacing.

  “Ah yes, ‘To bury him’,” said Steiner, flashing a malevolent smile at Sebastian before taking his seat, muttering to himself, that may well have been the nail that sealed the coffin awaiting his enemy.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Sebastian took the stand, refreshed by a good night’s sleep, having aided it with a couple of strong whiskies and a sleeping draught. Having feared the downside would be for him to be a bit drowsy he rejoiced in the fact he felt alert and had warmed up for the Steiner v Stuart show trial by doing The Telegraph crossword. Even if he had filled in a few of the answers with the wrong words, but ones that fitted nevertheless, it had reassured him that he was able to meet Adam with as much intellectual agility as anything he could throw at him. He had been advised by Darbyshire and Mirabelle not to take the stand, but he reasoned that he had two chances left to save himself after the disastrous performances of his witnesses: that was to come through the cross examination relatively unscathed – believing that not to testify would not reflect well on him – and then put in a killer of a closing argument. He did not believe that everything was lost and he felt that he had been in tighter positions than this before and always survived. Steiner, too, accepted that he had not yet delivered the decisive thrust and he had to confess that he had seldom come across a less impressive bunch of witnesses for both sides than the group that had trotted in and out of the courtroom in this particular case. Either side would have good cause for an appeal, given the blemishes on the witnesses’ character that had been exposed, but he knew that for his case there would only be one chance. The Government had made it quite clear that if they lost they would not pursue Sebastian for a second time, believing that to have a second case nearing an election would be damaging enough. Thus Adam had prepared for the head to head with a three-hour session in his study, and with Mirabelle absent, he had availed himself of the favours of his favourite hooker, though he had kept it relatively clean this time recalling the agony he had gone through in court the day after his previous session. Still, it had been pretty demanding as she had brought in another girl, Marta. He had had to perform for the two of them, and relaxed later as he watched Marta strap on a dildo and enter his favoured one and oh, how he had enjoyed the sight of her coming, as he took Marta from behind, so excited had he become, and then all three of them had lain atop each other exhausted and sated with the sweet and sour smell of their ecstasy rising like a steamy heat cloud above them. It was with this image still before him that he rose to begin his fencing match with his friend turned prey amidst a packed courtroom, both knowing that this was their moment of destiny as they brought their past into the present with both risking so much.

  “Your choice of Germany as a place to go to for the break between university and taking up a job would appear a bit strange, given the tensions between our countries at the time, wouldn’t you say?” asked Steiner quizzically.

  “I don’t see why. I had always wanted to visit it. Eric very kindly invited me to come out there and meet his family and it struck me that if we were to find ourselves at war at least I would have a slight understanding of the people we were fighting against.”

  “You certainly got an insider’s view,” grinned Steiner darkly.

  “You could say that, but if you are wondering why not France or Italy I would reply they were so old hat and everybody and his wife and dog and cat went there. I rather liked the thought of
a riskier enterprise and entering the jaws of the enemy and seeing if I survived,” replied Sebastian.

  “I didn’t ask you. While I will let this go I would emphasise to you that you are no longer acting as counsel but solely as a witness,” said Steiner sternly.

  “Tut tut. I am so sorry I quite forgot my station. I have been more used to German courts! Please proceed,” smiled Sebastian.

  Steiner fumed inside but smiled thinly back, adding a theatrical bow to Sebastian and turned over a new page of the file.

  “Now, Stuart, I am going to sweep ahead as there is not enough time for us to go through every one of your traitorous actions, especially your seduction of the Baroness. However, I would ask you whether she influenced you into you joining the Nazi Party or was she simply a mistress of convenience to ease your way into the confidence of those in power?”

  “I never considered her to be anything but my mistress; there again she had that effect on her numerous other lovers as well. So much so, I thought that Count von Helldorf was going to have me eliminated one day when he turned up unexpectedly on my doorstep; instead I discovered he had come to take me along to a drinks party for those disenchanted aristocrats who wished to wash their hands of Hitler. In answer to your question about joining the Nazi Party, you run ahead of yourself, sir, and in fact you will find that while I served in the Wehrmacht I was never a signed up member of the party.”

  “Would you care to reconsider what you just said as I would remind you, you are under oath,” hissed Steiner as he brandished the faded card that had brought so much trouble down on Sebastian.

  Sebastian laughed and patted the ledge in front of him in amusement, provoking a buzz of consternation among the spectators.

  “As I am on trial for my life, I hardly think being tried afterwards for perjury is a major concern. You obviously have not done your research or looked too deeply into the card you are holding, but you will find that it is simply my Wehrmacht identity card; they never got around to issuing me with the Nazi one, perhaps they didn’t trust me enough,” smiled Sebastian.

  “I can see why,” retorted Steiner, who received an admonishing look from Mainwaring.

  “Now tell the court please why you left your troops to their fate during the retreat to Dunkirk in clear violation of your orders?”

  “I went to get them help from the Germans. We were down to virtually no ammunition, barely any food and no clean water. I thought that by that stage having done the task we were ordered to do to the best of our ability, my duty was to my remaining men, and virtually cut off, the only answer was to ask the Germans for help.”

  “Aside from yourself, how many of your men entered the relative luxury of a prisoner of war camp?”

  Sebastian gulped down some water as he recalled the desperate sight that had greeted him on his return to where he had left his men.

  “None,” he replied softly.

  “None and why is that?” asked Steiner in a shrill tone.

  “Because unfortunately in the time it took me to secure the help of the Germans another of their units had passed through, and decided it was far easier to dispatch them than show any sort of basic human kindness,” he replied sadly.

  “And you contend that you did not desert them, nor did you play any part in their massacre as a bartering point for your own survival?”

  “I would not expect you to understand what sort of bond is formed between men out in the battlefield, especially when you are under constant attack and effectively fighting for yours and the whole army’s survival while knowing that you are the decoy and your chances of coming through are minimal. The last thing on my mind was my sole survival, it was so that the remaining survivors could at least live on and hope that they would see their families again, something that you were never in danger of losing,” said Sebastian spitting out the last words viciously.

  “My war record is not on trial here, it is yours. Certainly you brought all that experience to bear when you joined up with the Germans later in the war, did you not?”

  “Yes, it certainly was a useful learning curve,” replied Sebastian drily, to which Mainwaring stared at him bemusedly for making such a tart comment.

  “Could you explain that statement please?” asked the judge.

  “All I mean is that such experiences, as I underwent in France, came in very useful when I was sitting in some shitty little foxhole tending to the mental disintegration of men like Herzog and contemplating my imminent demise. My mind would always flash back to the incident on the retreat to Dunkirk and I would vow to never make the same mistake again and go off on some foolhardy mission to save my men. I would equate what I did that day as to Captain Smith taking off in a lifeboat to seek help for the stranded passengers on the Titanic. The black part of it is, I ended up with the Military Cross!”

  Steiner had flashed an angry look at Mainwaring when he intervened and he was now positively seething as the momentum was all but gone, and the mention of the Military Cross was catastrophic, conveying as it did the image of a British hero so he attempted to wrest back the initiative from Sebastian.

  “You certainly learnt other lessons from that day, did you not?”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, how to treat wounded prisoners of war once you were in German uniform, like your execution of the Soviets in that farmhouse. That is a war crime, pure and simple.”

  “That is a low blow you just delivered, sir. I did not wish to execute them and as Herzog testified, I was going to send them back to the field hospital until my superior turned up and ordered I shoot them, which I did. I accept that the plea of ‘I was only following orders’ is not accepted or at least was not at Nuremberg, but out in the field I believe it is acceptable, no matter how unpalatable the actions. Breakdown in order between officers leads to unimaginable consequences amongst the men. On such a savage front that was the last thing we could afford. I regret it, but I would reiterate that it was necessary and I would add that the Soviets were no less ardent in their treatment of our wounded,” Sebastian said in a firm tone.

  “I think the court will judge that, but I would say personally that I find your testimony shocking to say the least in its lack of compassion,” said Steiner coldly.

  “You are entitled to your opinion, but I would repeat those with no experience of such conditions are hardly well placed to make such comments,” interjected Sebastian.

  “Well, it wasn’t me who chose to side with the enemy and shed innocent blood. So therefore I would say you did have a choice, didn’t you, Stuart, and once you decided to save your own skin and take the German mark you were bound to be placed in such morally testing positions, weren’t you?”

  “One isolated incident which involved my men unfortunately did not make me believe that such events were commonplace in the German army. If we were all such great prophets, then I wouldn’t be standing here today. I would testify that the incident illustrated by you was the only one I was involved in and it is something that has stayed with me and also played a large part in my joining the resistance,” said Sebastian.

  “Ah yes, your role in the resistance. Would you agree with the witness von Schlabrendorff that you were a detached member of it?”

  “No, I would heartily disagree with him as on many other matters that are not pertinent to the court. I hardly ended up in Flossenburg concentration camp because of my impeccable service to the Reich!” Sebastian said laughing bitterly.

  “But did you betray them as he alluded to von Tresckow alleging prior to his suicide?”

  “No, that was the bitterness of a man who realized that the plot was blown and he was finished. I did think they were a bit amateurish and waffly but von Stauffenberg and von der Schulenburg were men of the highest qualities. If more had been like them, then Germany might well have been saved. It was an honour to have known and to have served them and that night in the Bendlerstrasse remains the fondest and most electrifying memory for me of the war,” he said defiantly.


  “I think the court will be most interested in those words, Stuart. I suppose if they had succeeded in bringing down the legally elected government of the day you would have been rewarded with a high post, perhaps even junior Minister of Defence,” chortled Steiner which fell flat on the rest of the court, something he did not appreciate; blessed with such little humour as he was, every one of his jokes should be treasured. “Very well, would you agree with me that the lack of respect you showed the main plotters was reminiscent of the officers in the POW camp who wanted you to help them escape and to which you were less than enthusiastic or helpful?”

  “There were certain similarities, yes.”

  “Such as?”

  “They were brave but amateurish dreamers and I knew coming in with them would lead to catastrophe and I was right on both counts,” replied Sebastian.

  “On both counts?”

  “Well, on the first I got embroiled in the German Army and on the second I ended up in Flossenburg. Both because of the foibles and failings of amateurs,” he said bitterly.

  “So you were never at fault in either case?”

  “No. Why should I have been? I gave them my help in both plots and on each occasion I ended up suffering for going against my better judgement,” said Sebastian resignedly.

  “And the others involved didn’t suffer? Such as the British officers being shot in cold blood and the Nazi plotters being strung up on chicken wire! Don’t you think the common thread here, Stuart, is that at the base of it the only person that mattered was yourself and whatever happened to the rest was irrelevant? I find it strange that while everyone around you died, you remained alive.”

  “Perhaps we should hold a séance and ask the great man upstairs why I was kept alive and the others not so. Maybe the saying ‘unlucky in love, lucky at cards’ should be my motto,” he said sarcastically.

  “Or your obituary. Tell me, Stuart, have you ever shown any loyalty to any group or person that could offset this image of ego running wild and extreme selfishness you are displaying even 13 years after the end of that disgusting regime?”