The It's Kind Of Personal (Complete 6 Book Series)ies

by Anna Brooks

  “Not your fault. You’ve been so kind to me, and I would be so pissed at you if you even tried to get involved. You know this. I know this. So please, don’t beat yourself up.”

  He squeezes the top of my hand and shakes his head. Rick and I sit there for about an hour before I finally see Pierce. He’s walking down the hallway of the seventh floor with two other guys. My heart skips a beat and I point at him. “That’s him. Can you follow?”

  Rick nods and presses a few buttons as I lean forward and touch the screen. In the elevator, Pierce throws his duffel bag against the wall and one of the guys puts a hand on his shoulder, but Pierce shrugs it off. They stop at the third floor and a few scantily clad women enter. I prepare myself for him to ogle them, but his eyes don’t leave the ground. Interesting. Most men, even the ones who are with a woman, would have looked. It’s hard not to when their boobs are hanging out and their butt cheeks are playing peek-a-boo with their shorts.

  Once the elevator finally stops on the ground floor, Rick switches the camera again and I watch as Pierce comes into view of the front desk … which is right behind me. His friend talks to the clerk, and Pierce walks over to Stanley, who apparently didn’t leave.

  “Shit. Shit, what is he doing?” I mutter, scooting closer to the screen.

  Stanley wears an earpiece, so I’m assuming Pierce thinks he works here, which he does… but still. Pierce makes hand gestures and holds up his hand to his cheek bone and makes circles with his fingers to mimic glasses.

  “He’s trying to find you,” Rick says, his voice as surprised as myself.

  “Yeah,” I mutter and lean even closer, as if I’ll somehow magically be able to hear. I just left him. No note. No empty promises. Nothing. Nothing but a couple of nights of memories. He should just be good with that. He has to be good with that.

  When Pierce points up toward the roof, Stanley’s eyes flash to the camera, and I know he’s figured it out. Stanley cracks his neck and squints, clearly pissed off that I got the slip on him.

  “Well, I guess I’m never going to the roof again. Wait. I’m moving, so I guess I wasn’t anyway.”

  “What?”

  “Eddie, as he told me to call him, is picking me up this afternoon.”

  “Sorry, darlin’, wish I could help.”

  Rick has a wife and three kids to support. He’s tried to help me out in the past, but I don’t want to risk him getting fired, so I demanded that he stop. I’ve learned to just accept my life and hope that maybe something in the future will allow me to get out from under my father’s thumb … and now Eddie’s.

  “It’s not your fault. I knew it would only be a matter of time.” Just another freedom taken away. I still have my imagination, though. They can never take that away.

  “Oh no, this isn’t good …”

  “What?” I look closer on the monitor but don’t see anything. “Rick, what?”

  “Camera four.”

  I search for the number above the screens and begin to shake when I see my dad approaching Stanley.

  Chapter 4

  Pierce

  “IS THERE A PROBLEM?” A man with slicked-back hair and wearing an expensive suit approaches me and the man I’m talking to. I study him more closely because he looks familiar to me somehow, but then I shake the confusion off to her leaving me and my mind being a fucking mess.

  I couldn’t believe it when I woke up this morning and I was alone. She left. I’ve searched every floor, every square inch of this place for the last three hours with no luck. There hasn’t been a time in my life that I’ve ever been this mad. I’m so pissed at myself for falling asleep, for not getting her name, for letting her go. But her warm, content body curled up against me soothed me in a way I didn’t know was possible, and I dozed off.

  The short time I spent with her is something that I’ve never experienced before. An out-of-body experience that filled me up and then drained the life out of me when I realized it was gone. I’m having trouble even breathing, knowing I’m never going to see her again.

  The man in the suit straightens his tie. “No, sir. This gentleman was just asking a question.” He nods toward me.

  “Ready, man?” Nik hollers from the desk, and I reluctantly take a step closer to him.

  “In a minute.” I turn my back to Nik and look at the man with the slicked-back hair. “Do you work here?”

  He sticks his hand out. “Danny Russo. I own the Lucky Lion. Is there a problem?”

  I shake his hand and repeat the story I had just told the security guard. “I met a girl on the roof two nights ago and was wondering if there was any way you could help me find her.”

  “That roof is closed, sir. I’ll have my staff look into securing the area, but unfortunately, I don’t think I can be of help.” He shoots an angry look at the other man.

  Nik grabs my arm, but I shake him off. If this guy owns the damn place, he’s gotta be able to help me somehow. “Mr. Russo, there has to be a way that you can roll back security footage or something. Please. This girl, she was amazing. She was so perfect she might as well have been a dream.”

  “What’s her name?”

  My face warms out of embarrassment. “I, uhh … I never got it.”

  “What did she look like?” he asks, crossing his arms. The crease between his eyebrows gets deeper, and he tilts his head to listen.

  “She was about five five with long, light brown hair. And behind her glasses, her eyes were almost green, but not quite … hazel, I guess. They looked light brown in some angles. Every inch of her tanned skin was like silk, smooth and fragile. There was a small birthmark by her wrist on her left hand. She spoke quietly and seemed timid, but when she talked, the things she said were so intriguing I couldn’t help but to become infatuated with her. She was too sarcastic for her own good.” I pause and look at the ground, embarrassed that I’m acting like this over a girl I spent less than a dozen hours with, but at this point, I don’t care. I’m desperate.

  “Sir, I—”

  “I know, you think I’m crazy.” I look up at him and beg him with my eyes. “I am. I’m fucking crazy about her, and I need to find her.”

  Mr. Russo shifts on his feet and nods at me. He pulls a card out of his wallet and a pen from his pocket. “Write your name and number down and I will see what I can do. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll look into it.”

  “Thank you, sir.” I scribble down my name and leave my cell and my work number. “I appreciate it.”

  Once I give him back his things, he looks at the other man. “Have you seen Ruby? I need to speak with her.”

  “She’s in with Rick.”

  Without another word, he turns on his heels and goes into a room behind the front desk.

  “Come on, Pierce. We’re gonna miss our flight. Zack’s holding a cab out front.” Nik grabs my arm and drags me outside since I can’t bring myself to do it on my own. I’m seriously contemplating staying and camping out on the sidewalk so I can catch her when she leaves, if she hasn’t already. Damn it. I probably missed her; she’s probably gone already.

  Zack shakes his head at me when I get in the cab next to him. “Cabbie was about to leave without us. Fuck, Pierce, I know she must’ve been good, but it’s just pussy.”

  My instincts are to grab him by the throat and beat his face in for talking about her like that, but I take a breath and turn in my seat. “If you ever say another word like that about her again, I will hurt you, Zack. Do you understand me?”

  He rolls his eyes. “Whatever, man. All I’m sayin—”

  “No. You won’t say anything else about her.”

  He shrugs and leans forward to punch Nik in the knee. “You really gonna call that chick when we get back home?”

  I lean back in my seat and look out of the rear window, watching the casino and the girl of my dreams fade away.

  Ruby

  “Oh shit.” I scramble in the seat and pretend not to have just caught the scene in the lobby when my dad bar
ges into the security room. The anger radiating off him tells me that he knows.

  “Ruby Michelle. Follow me to your room. Now.”

  He doesn’t bother to look back because he knows I’ll follow. Like a fucking sad pup, just like my mom. People part for him as we walk down the hallway as if he’s a god or some shit. Stanley on my heels makes me anxious, and I scurry closer to my father. Even though he’s a horrible dad, the one thing he does is protect me. Well, in his own way he thinks he’s protecting me. I know he’d never physically hurt me, and as much as he intimidates me, I feel safer with him than I do with Stanley. Nobody in their right mind would lay a hand on me when Dad’s around.

  When we arrive in my suite, I sit on my bed and twiddle my thumbs.

  “Why are you going on the roof?” My dad crosses his arms and lowers his voice as he’s clearly displeased with my behavior.

  “I just wanted some air.”

  “With a man?”

  Instead of answering him, I look away and shake my head.

  “Now you’re lying. Ruby. Look at me.”

  I bite my lip and stand to look up at him. “So what? If I was talking to a guy, what’s it to you? I’m an adult now.”

  He steps closer to me and leans down so his eyes are looking directly into mine. The dark rings around his green irises flash in anger. “You will do what I say. And you will not step foot outside this room until further notice. Edward will be here shortly. Until then, you pack your things and stay here.”

  “This is such bullshit and you know it.”

  “Stanley will tell me if you try to leave and you don’t want to deal with those consequences.” He leaves my room and I tap my foot out of irritation. I always get caught, too. So I’ve given up trying to run.

  “You can go. I won’t try to leave.” I stand and begin to walk past Stanley.

  His hand hits me so fast that I spin and land on the floor. I immediately cover the burn on my cheek and back away from him.

  “You fucking bitch. You trying to make me look bad in front of your father? I told you the last time I caught you up there not to step foot on that roof again.”

  “Well, I didn’t listen, did I?”

  He grabs my hair and pulls me up then tosses me onto the bed. “What the hell is wrong with you, little girl? Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?”

  Chapter 5

  Present Day

  Ruby

  OH MY GOD, HE’S here again.

  I turn my head and pretend to be busy with a straw wrapper when he passes. I’ve taken up a spot in this back corner booth two nights in a row now, and both nights he’s been here. As the breeze hits me after he passes, his manly scent, like fresh water and wood, invades my senses. He’s obviously working because he goes directly behind the bar and talks animatedly to the others as they fill drinks.

  From what I can tell, his main job is as a bouncer, but when it slows down, he walks around or hangs out behind the bar. I’ve managed to slip in before he’s at the door and ordered my drink from the guy at the bar who looks vaguely familiar. If I’m not mistaken, he was one of the guys who were at the hotel with Pierce. I remember everything about his short time there, and that included the people who were with him in the elevator and the lobby.

  I don’t even know why I’m here … what I was expecting to happen if I saw him. All I know is I needed to see him. I needed to know that I didn’t imagine how wonderful our time together was. With a sigh, I grab my pen and open my notebook, then continue writing where I left off. One thing that hasn’t changed in the past couple of years is my love for writing stories. It’s helped me get through everything, and right now it’s the only thing keeping me sane.

  Each story I write now has a new meaning since our nights on the roof. I’m able to express the agony of wanting something you can’t have. I can emulate the feeling of being so in love with someone that you can barely breathe. Yet I have trouble writing the ending because I’m not sure happily-ever-after even exists.

  As the night goes on and it becomes busy, I drown out the noise and focus on my words. In this book, the hero just returned from overseas. He’s about to surprise the girl he’s always had a crush on but never had the guts to tell. At this point, she has a boyfriend but is miserable because the man that she’s in love with, the only one who ever made her heart flutter, is thousands of miles away and doesn’t even know she exists. I’m so involved in my story that I jump when a guy sits down across from me.

  “Hey,” he says, and even though it’s only one word, it’s slurred because he’s obviously drunk. “Hi. I’m Curt.”

  I purposely look back down and ignore him, but he doesn’t seem to take the hint. “What’re you doin’?”

  “Writing.”

  “You’re pretty.” He reaches over to touch my hand, and I rip it away and close my notebook. I don’t want to create a scene, but I do not have the patience to deal with a drunk guy hitting on me. Besides, it’s late and I want to sneak out while it’s crowded so I’ll remain unnoticed.

  As I get up, I throw my bag over my shoulder and begin walking to the front of the bar to make my escape. Since Pierce is standing right there, he’s going to see me, so I reach into my bag and pull on a beanie and wrap my scarf around my neck so part of my face is hidden.

  Curt catches up to me and grabs my waist. “Where you goin’? Want a ride?”

  “No.” I shake out of his grip and he stumbles back into a table, causing a glass to tip over and crash to the ground.

  Pierce looks up and I quickly direct my eyes to the floor and push past the throng of people toward the front door. I have to leave. I can’t stay, especially since Curt has already drawn attention.

  “Have a good night.” Pierce’s voice sends a wave of nostalgia through my body, and I almost fall from having lost my footing, but he catches me by the arm. My entire body feels like it’s floating from that one touch; muscle memory is a magnificent thing. My head is turned away from him so he can’t see me, and I quickly right myself. “You okay?”

  No. No, I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay since the moment I walked out of your life, and all I want is to have you back.

  Instead of saying what I’m really thinking, I just nod and walk away. Once I get outside, I hurry to the end of the block and turn the corner to where I parked my car. The area is still new to me, so I pull up my GPS to make sure I get back to my apartment without getting lost. A cocky smile flashes across my face when I realize I have driven all the way home without even looking at the directions. Score one for me.

  I toss my bag on the floor and plop on the couch with the same enthusiasm. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. After that morning, I continued to live the same strangled life until a few weeks ago when things got really ugly. Now, I’m here for what? Pierce? I’m sure he’s forgotten about me and moved on with his life, unlike me who uses the memories of those nights to push myself through the darkness.

  * * *

  The next night he’s not there.

  Another night later, he walks in and goes behind the bar, then walks out.

  I get a job the day after that. Right next door to Pierce’s gym.

  * * *

  “Hey, Leroy.”

  Pierce’s voice causes me to jump, and I quickly scurry back into the storage room I just exited. My heart pounds and I take a couple of deep breaths. It’s only my second day working here at the convenience store, and I was not prepared to see him yet. Everything about what’s happening is irrational; my thought process isn’t making any sense, and the decisions I’m making are those of an inexperienced girl, not one who used her brain and a whole lot of guts to be where she is today.

  “How’s it going, Pierce?”

  “Good. And you?”

  A cooler door slams and feet shuffle farther away toward the front of the store where the register is.

  “Doing well. I just hired a new girl to help out since Cindy’s about to have the baby.”

  “Oh,
really? That’s great on both counts. I was hoping you and Leanne wouldn’t try to manage all on your own.”

  “I thought about it.”

  They both laugh, and it brings a smile to my face. Leroy is a sweet old man, and he and his wife have been running the store for thirty years now. His daughter is about to have her first baby, and since she works here, they needed someone to help until she comes back. I happened to be here buying a soda – after I had stalked Pierce’s gym to try to catch a glimpse of him – just as Leroy was putting up a help wanted sign. Fate? I think so.

  “Ruby’s a real sweetheart. She must be in the back, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon.”

  The register drawer slams and Pierce replies back something, but I can’t make it out. After the door chimes, I take a deep breath and walk out onto the floor with a fake smile.

  “Ahh, Ruby. You just missed Pierce. He owns Kelly’s gym. I’d have liked for you to meet him. He’s a good guy. Great neighbor to have.”

  “Well, maybe next time.”

  “He doesn’t have a girlfriend, either.” He whistles as he walks away, and I pretend not to be excited about that news. Of course I had thought of the possibility that he’d have a girlfriend, or even be married, but when I had no choice except to leave, there was only one place — one person — that made any sense for me to come to. It’s a risk, but any choice I made really was, so I figured go big or go home. Shoot for the stars. All or nothing.

  My hands are sweaty as I restock the shelves and rearrange the display of local handmade gifts. This is the first job I’ve ever had, and I want to do well. Besides, I really need the money since I got cut off when I left. I still have my car, though.

  Later that night, I go into the pub, but my normal booth is taken. In fact, all of the booths and tables are taken, so my only option is to sit at the bar. I grab the seat on the end and pull down my hood so my face is partially hidden. When the bartender approaches, she cards me after I order a microbrew, so I hand over my license.