Hope's Delta (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Delta Team Three Book 5)

by Riley Edwards

  Tex wasn’t asking a question so Jangles didn’t bother confirming.

  “I’ll pay you or you can hold a marker. Your choice.”

  “Marker.”

  Tex disconnected and Jangles waited.

  He had no doubt Tex would come through.

  Hope had only made it two hours before it was no longer safe for her to drive. The hundred and fifty miles she’d driven with tear-filled eyes was as far as she could go. So when she saw the exit to Junction, she decided to call it a day. The city seemed fitting enough. After all, she was at an intersection of sorts. Right, left, forward, or reverse—all roads led to heartbreak, and more of it.

  Damn Jangles.

  Damn him for showing up right before I left.

  For thirty-six hours, I was scared to fucking death.

  God, why did he tell her that?

  I’ll never let you go.

  Broken promises.

  Lies.

  Hope found a hotel and pulled in.

  Foreword

  That was the direction she was going.

  Chapter 27

  The knock at the door startled Hope. She sat up and looked at the clock then around the cheap hotel room. Bland and outdated. No personality. Nothing special. Bleak. It was the perfect room for her current mood.

  She ignored the door and laid back down. No sooner did her head hit the pillow than the knock came again. She hadn’t ordered food, no one knew she was there, and she wasn’t expecting anyone so she ignored it again.

  Another knock, only this time the pounding was accompanied by, “Hope. Open up.”

  What the hell?

  “Baby, I know you’re in there.”

  Hope’s blood turned to ice and her body stilled.

  This couldn’t be happening.

  How was this happening?

  A few seconds later, she heard the door creak open and her temper flared.

  “I’m coming in,” Jangles announced even though he didn’t need to.

  As soon as the door opened she saw him. She lay there stunned, wondering why she hadn’t flipped that metal bar thingy, though she didn’t think that would’ve stopped him from getting in.

  “Go away,” she groaned and shoved her face in the pillow.

  “Baby—”

  “Stop!” Hope shot upright in the bed and kicked off the threadbare comforter, then stood. “Get out, Jangles.”

  “Not until we talk.” Jangles’ gaze zeroed in on her face and his eyes narrowed. “Are you crying?”

  Hope hadn’t looked but she didn’t have to. No doubt, hours of crying had turned her face into a puffy mess.

  “Get. Out.”

  “Why are you crying?”

  “Why am I crying?” she huffed. “Are you serious?”

  Jangles took a step forward and Hope took a step back, skirting the edge of the bed. Space. She needed as much space between them as possible.

  “Hope—”

  Rampaging emotions slammed into her, every inch of her vibrated with unspeakable pain.

  “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. You left. You promised me you wouldn’t let me go and you did. You wanna know why I’m crying? Because you’ve destroyed me. I didn’t think it could get any worse.” Hope angrily swiped away the tears she didn’t want him to see fall. “This last month has been awful. It hurt, Jangles. Hurt so bad I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it. But I did and I picked up my life and now you’re back. Why? Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t you hurt me enough?”

  “You don’t think it’s been hard on me?” Jangles pointed to himself and Hope felt her ire skyrocket. “I didn’t want to let you go.”

  “Well, you did,” she spat. “You lied to me.”

  “I’ve never lied to you.”

  “You promised never to let me go. You promised we’d see it through. But you—”

  “I’m not letting you go.”

  “Too late. You already did.”

  “I’m not letting you go,” he repeated.

  Hope needed him to leave before she stupidly believed him.

  “You did this to us. I was taken against my will…” She let that hang, not wanting to say the rest. She’d been kidnapped, scared, and she’d killed Onur Demir. “And the moment you could, you dumped me. I saw it, Jangles—you would’ve left me in Kazarus if you could’ve. I saw you shut down and start to distance yourself. You went through the motions of getting me home, then you walked out, not caring I was scared it could happen again. Not caring that I couldn’t sleep. Not giving the first fuck I was reliving killing a man. You dumped me and walked out the door. So, no, I’m not going to listen to what you have to say. I want you to leave, and this time, don’t come back. Stay away from me and let me move on.”

  With her palms sweaty and her heart pounding, she watched his body grow taut as she successfully landed blow after blow.

  “Baby,” he groaned.

  “Too late,” she shouted. “Get out.”

  “I love you, Hope. And fair warning, I’m not letting you go. I would, I’d step aside and set you free if I thought for one second you didn’t love me. But I know you do. You’re not the only one with a good memory, baby, so I remember. I haven’t forgotten.” He lowered his voice and gentled his tone when he said, “Push hard, Beau. Even when I fight you, push. Don’t let me leave you. That’s what you said to me. I’m gonna push until you break. I’m gonna stand and fight until I get you back. I’m not letting you go. And, Hope, that’s not a promise—that’s a guaran-fucking-tee.”

  Jangles turned, opened the door, and without looking back, he left.

  Hope didn’t make it to the bed before her legs gave out and her knees hit the hard floor.

  Jangles heard the sob from the other side of the door and forced himself not to break into her room again so he could hold her. Instead, he stood outside and listened—let the sound wrap around his heart until the tightness turned agonizing.

  His penance.

  He’d earned the soreness in his chest and the torment her tears brought. It was his fault they were both suffering and in pain. He knew he had a long, hard road in front of him, one that had been paved with love and happiness until he blew it up, leaving only rubble in his wake.

  Total dumb fuck.

  Minutes later when the sounds from Hope’s room quieted, he moved next door and let himself into his room, tossed the keycard on the table, sat on the bed, and pulled out his phone.

  The phone rang twice before a familiar voice picked up, “Hello?”

  “Hey, Ghost, it’s Jangles.”

  “Heard you’re in a situation.”

  “Trigger call you?”

  “Nope. Merlin. He’s worried and wanted me to reach out but you beat me to it.”

  Jangles sighed and remembered Trigger’s wisdom. “I’m in love with her. I fucked up, thought I was doing the right thing, and pushed her away. I never imagined my job would intrude into her life, and when it did, I couldn’t handle it. I was…I am…scared. I want to protect her but I can’t live without her. I totally fucked up, she’s rightfully pissed and shutting me out. I need help.”

  “Sounds familiar,” Ghost muttered. And it would—once upon a time, his mentor had shut out his wife, Rayne. At the time, she was his girlfriend and she thought he was sparing her worry after he’d been badly injured on a mission. Rayne didn’t take kindly to Ghost being a dick and had no issues telling him so. But she’d forgiven him. “What do you need?”

  “I need to speak to your wife.”

  “Come again?”

  “I need to talk to Rayne,” he repeated. “I need to ask her how to get Hope to take me back.”

  “Smart man. Hang on, let me get her.”

  There was rustling on Ghost’s end of the line and Jangles took the wait as an opportunity to figure out how much he wanted to tell Rayne. She was the wife of a fellow operator, she understood operational security. She also was fully aware of the inherent danger of her husband’s j
ob.

  “Beau?”

  “Hey, Rayne. Did Ghost tell you why I’m calling?”

  “He said you’re having some trouble with your girl. What’s going on?”

  Rayne’s sweet voice was full of understanding. But by the time he finished the story from start to finish leaving nothing out—not even how they met, Hope’s parents, the kidnapping, how he felt, Hope killing Demir, all of the dumb mistakes he’d made, and finally ending with him begging Hope to forgive him and her kicking him out—Rayne no longer sounded sweet when she muttered, “Men.”

  Jangles gave her a moment, but when she didn’t speak he called, “Rayne?”

  “Give me a minute. I’m trying to decide if I should give you advice or let you continue to wallow in the misery you created.”

  Fuck, but I deserve that.

  “I need help, Rayne. I’m willing to do anything. What did Ghost do to get you to forgive him?”

  “He loved me.”

  Jangles groaned. He knew he loved Hope and she loved him but that wasn’t going to be enough. She was stubborn, and to top it off, she was right. He left her when she was vulnerable and scared after what’d happened with Demir.

  The more he thought about it, maybe he didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He wasn’t just a dumb fuck, he was a supreme asshole.

  “I forgave him because I understood,” she gently told him. “The day he kicked me out of his hospital room, it hurt, but I knew why he did it. I felt the same way when he’d rescued me in Egypt. I was tied to a bed, scared, and nearly…never mind, the point is, I didn’t want him to see me like that. I wanted off that bed and out of that room, but I didn’t want the man who I loved to see me like that. The difference was, I couldn’t kick him out. But he could kick me out of his room and he did. But deep down, I knew he was doing it because he was protecting me from seeing him injured. There was nothing to forgive, not really, we just had some stuff to work out.”

  Shit. None of that was going to help him. Jangles’ situation wasn’t about communication and settling into a relationship. He’d fucked over the woman he loved.

  “What I can offer you is this—if you love her, don’t give up. From everything you just told me about her, what’s happening right now isn’t just about you and her. She has old wounds that by the sound of it have never healed. Maybe you need to heal those before you try to get her back.”

  “I can’t heal them if she won’t let me in.”

  “Sure you can.”

  “I don’t know how, Rayne. If she keeps kicking me out, I can’t help her.”

  “You’re a Delta, Jangles. I have no doubt you’ll figure it out.”

  None of his military training would help him win Hope over—or would it?

  The light dawned and he realized the first thing he needed was a plan.

  “Thanks, Rayne. You’ve been a big help.”

  “Not sure that’s true, but you’re welcome all the same.”

  “Tell Ghost I’ll call him later, there’s something I need to do.”

  “Will do. And good luck.”

  “Thanks.”

  Jangles disconnected and went to the window to peek out at the parking lot. He would’ve heard Hope leave, but he needed to double-check. Then he sat at the shitty, worn table for two and started to formulate a plan, and a backup plan, then just to be on the safe side, a contingency plan just in case the first two went to shit.

  Come hell or high water he was getting Hope back. But more than that, once and for all, she was letting go of her past.

  Chapter 28

  The next morning, Hope woke up with a splitting headache. Lack of sleep, dehydration, and crying all night would do that to a girl.

  God, my life sucks.

  Why had Jangles decided to come back? And why was she thinking about Jangles the moment her eyes opened?

  The stale air in the hotel room got her moving, that and the thought of Jangles returning. She had no idea how he found her and she wouldn’t put it past him to drive back to Junction, uncaring the drive was over two hours each way and she’d repeatedly told him to leave her alone. Jangles didn’t seem to care about anything she had to say and less about what she wanted.

  She tromped to the tiny bathroom and slapped on the shower spigot, turning it all the way over to hot and on full blast. The heat would do nothing for her red, blotchy face, but it would work out some of the kinks in her neck. She’d tossed and turned and lamented most of the night about Jangles and how much of an asshole he was. Then she’d dissolved into tears because she remembered he wasn’t an asshole, not really. Hope wanted to forgive him, she really did, and when he explained how scared he’d been and the reasons why he left her, she wanted to jump into his arms and make him feel better.

  The only thing that had held her back was her resolve to move on. A fresh start and a new life were what she needed. And to get that, she had to leave Jangles in the past.

  Don’t I?

  She couldn’t keep moving forward if she accepted his apology.

  Right?

  Nori had made her remember a lot about her parents that she’d pushed down and locked away. The most important thing was how much they loved her. It was easier to remember them arguing about Went and what a stupid teenaged bitch she’d been than remember the good times.

  There had even been a time when her grandparents had loved her. They’d spoiled her and Peter. A night spent at Grandma and Grandpa’s meant staying up late watching movies with big bowls of buttery popcorn and an extra scoop of ice cream.

  At one time, they’d been a happy family. Then Hope had succumbed to the bullying and became a shell of herself. That was on her. She’d been weak, she stayed with a guy who was a jerk and she knew it. But never in her wildest dreams had she thought he’d murder her parents. That single act was bad enough, but it had set off a chain reaction that had ruined her family. Destroyed everyone. She hadn’t wanted him to do it, she hadn’t asked, and she hadn’t made him do it. Hope loved her mom and dad even if they’d been fighting.

  Now her family was gone. Mom, Dad, brother, grandfather, all dead. She knew her grandmother was still alive, or she had been the last time she drove to Austin to visit Peter’s grave on his birthday. Hope had seen the older woman walking back to her car after placing flowers on the graves. The same ones Hope had been to see. Each year since Peter’s death, she’d seen her grandmother, but she’d never approached her. Hope waited out of sight in her car, not wanting to upset her grandmother.

  Why hadn’t she ever confronted her, tried to make amends? It had been years, her grandmother was all alone. Maybe it was time to reach out, try to heal the break in their relationship.

  Hope stepped into the shower, the scalding water burning her back and shoulders, but she remained under the spray, welcoming the heat. She tipped her head back, drenching her hair, and thought more about visiting her grandmother. And the more she rolled the idea around, the more she came to understand there was no going forward if she continued to allow her past to hold her back.

  She needed to let it go. And there was only one person who could release her.

  Jangles waited in his truck in the far corner of the parking lot. He had no intention of letting Hope see him. He’d been out there for hours, and when she finally exited her room, he sucked in a breath. Even from a distance, he could see she looked wrecked and he mentally berated himself for not going to her last night when he heard her cries through the paper-thin walls. He’d lain in his bed and listened to her toss and turn with intermediate spells of crying.

  Once again, he’d done the wrong thing. He planned to follow her to El Paso, make sure she made it there safely, then he’d explain that he wasn’t giving up but understood he needed to prove his sincerity. After that, he’d start by asking her for her friendship. Not the kind they’d had before that had also included a good amount of time in his bed and multiple orgasms. This time, they’d start with good old-fashioned friendship. Then, he’d set about making himself
an integral part of her life. He’d tie himself to her until she couldn’t deny they were meant to be together.

  And if that didn’t work, he had a backup plan, if that went FUBAR, he’d make a hundred more until one worked.

  Jangles watched as Hope backed out of her parking space and headed through the lot. He waited up until she made a right onto Main Street before he followed, keeping a safe distance so she didn’t spot him. He went back to thinking about his Mission of Forgiveness until Hope changed lanes and made a sharp right onto the I-10 east on-ramp. To get to El Paso, she needed to go west. Betting she’d made a mistake and would take the next exit to turn around, he didn’t merge lanes even though she had. It wasn’t until she’d made her way to the far left lane that he moved over.

  He could call her and warn her she was driving in the wrong direction but that would reveal his operation. Instead, he settled in for a long detour until she figured it out. Fifteen minutes later, she took an exit and Jangles had to swerve across three lanes of traffic to follow her. Being new to Texas, he still didn’t have all the interstates down and had no idea what was in Fredericksburg, he just knew that’s where the sign he passed said he was going. Five minutes after that, Hope blew past a turnabout that she could’ve used to make a U-turn. Then he decided with a long stretch of Texas highway in front of him not to wonder where he was going. It was pointless. He’d follow Hope anywhere she wanted to go.

  It wasn’t until nearly two hours later when Hope passed the sign for Cedar Valley that she started questioning the validity of her plan, and by the time she’d gotten off the highway, her stomach was in knots. And when she turned onto East Yager Lane she felt ill. Her grandmother still lived in Copperfield, a middle-income neighborhood. It was the same house she and her brother had visited growing up, the house he’d moved into after their parents had died.

  She pulled to a stop across the street and took in the aging brick exterior. It needed to be pressure washed and two large tree limbs needed to be trimmed back before a storm hit and they broke off and landed on the roof. The yard needed to be cleaned and raked and the flowerbeds that had once been a riot of color were now barren.