Hope's Delta (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Delta Team Three Book 5)

by Riley Edwards

  “You broke your promise,” Hope said.

  “I know I did.” His honesty made it difficult for her to hold on to her grudge. “And I’m sorry.”

  “I won’t survive if you leave me again.”

  “Bullshit. You’re strong, Hope. You can survive anything and come out on the other side still standing. But I won’t ever make you go through me leaving you again.”

  Survived.

  Hope had to admit she had survived a lot. But surviving and thriving were two different things. She didn’t feel like she’d accomplished much. All she’d done was get through each day.

  “Hope?” Jangles pulled her from her introspection.

  It was then the walls came crashing down. And with them, Hope.

  Chapter 30

  “Whoa, baby. What’s happening?” Jangles caught Hope around the waist as her body swayed and he lifted her into his arms as her legs started to give way.

  “I…I…” Hope stuttered but said no more.

  Jangles sat on the couch and settled Hope in his lap. To his surprise, she didn’t fight him. Her head rested on his shoulder, one of her hands went to his chest, and she allowed him to hold her.

  A step in the right direction.

  “I thought it was my grandmother,” Hope mumbled. “But I was wrong.”

  “Wrong about what?”

  “It was me.”

  “I’m not tracking, honey. What are you talking about?”

  “I needed to let go of the past so I could move forward. I thought I needed Marybeth to release me, forgive me, but I was wrong. The person I needed to release me was—me. The person I needed forgiveness from was myself.”

  “Yeah, Hope. It was you.”

  “I forgive myself,” she whispered.

  Thank fuck.

  “I survived. I might’ve tiptoed but I did it. I picked myself up and I tiptoed until I could walk. Some days the steps are small, but I take them. That counts, right?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I cried and cried, but I wiped my own tears and I didn’t give up.”

  “No, baby, you didn’t give up.”

  “I remember how much they loved me. I forgot for a while but now I remember.”

  “Good.”

  Jangles had no idea what that meant for them but he was relieved as fuck she’d untwisted the guilt. He hated that her grandmother had gutted her, the woman was an absolute bitch, and while it seemed Hope gave the cow a pass, Jangles would not. He couldn’t. Not after the venom she’d vomited. He got she’d lost a daughter, but that was not an excuse to decimate your granddaughter. But if the pain Marybeth had caused was the final incident that Hope needed to realize her strength, then he was glad for it.

  “And I survived you leaving me.”

  The breath left his lungs, and his body grew tight.

  “Hope—”

  “It wasn’t easy, but I wasn’t gonna give up. I started tiptoeing again, picking up the pieces. I wasn’t gonna let that stop me from moving on. I wasn’t gonna let heartbreak, break me.”

  “Baby—”

  “I wouldn’t have been able to go back to that house,” she declared, and his taut muscles turned to stone. “And not because I’m not strong. But because knowing that you sat in that living room and made up a story that was probably worse than what really happened so you could torture yourself kills me. I don’t ever want to see that place again. And I’m glad you took that bed to the dump because you don’t need to sleep on the mattress where I struggled. Though I don’t remember it, I can’t imagine I just willingly got out of bed.”

  No, she hadn’t, she’d fought. And Jangles was happy she couldn’t remember.

  “You didn’t give me a chance,” she continued.

  “Honey, please—”

  “If you would’ve, I could’ve told you that I was scared, too. But I knew you were coming. I was locked in that bunker but I was wrapped in you. I can’t say it was fun sitting there without pants or shoes, but I had you all around me. Your smell, your promises, your love, and I knew you’d come. So I wasn’t as scared as I could’ve been. I’d take the fear over the possibility it could happen again over not having that fear because that would mean I didn’t have you. God knows I didn’t make it easy. I was holding on to the past with an iron grip. I thought I needed to. I thought that the best way to honor my parents was to hurt for the rest of my life. But I was so wrong. They loved me, and they’d want me to be happy.”

  “Yeah, they would.”

  And just as some of the stiffness started to leave his body, she continued. He’d started to relax, therefore he didn’t brace. He should have. He should’ve prepared himself, because what came next rocked him to his core.

  “I survived you once, and if you leave me again, I’ll survive that, too. I will survive, Beau, but I will not come back. This is our one shot at getting it right. I deserve—”

  Jangles didn’t let her finish.

  Instead, his mouth crashed onto hers and he showed her exactly what she deserved.

  He kept their kiss slow and tender. Soft glides and gentle licks. He kept at her until urgency crept in, then he ended the kiss with a soft peck.

  “I love you, Hope.”

  “I know you do. But love’s only gonna get you so far. I also need your honesty, you can’t hold anything back.” Jangles nodded and before he could ask for the same in return, she continued, “I’ll give you all of me. I’m a little broken, honey, but I’m a whole lot determined. I figure you can work with that.”

  “Yeah, I can work with that.”

  “I think we need to figure out how to get my car up here.”

  “In a minute.”

  “Beau—”

  “Say it again.”

  “Say what?”

  “My name, say it again.”

  “Beau.”

  Jangles’ eyes drifted closed and peace settled in his soul.

  Christ, that felt good.

  “I’ll call Merlin after I feed you and ask him and Gwen to go pick up your car.”

  “We can do it.”

  “Hell no. I don’t want you ever going back there, and I barely controlled my temper the last time. Let’s not tempt fate.”

  “I’m not scared to face her.”

  “Of course you’re not. You’re strong as fuck. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t one of those times where I can protect you. So, I’m not gonna let you go back there on the off-chance she’s outside and tries to get another dig in.”

  Hope took in the fierce expression on Beau’s face and relented. The truth was, they’d both had enough for one day. And while she believed she could face her grandmother and not break, Beau was giving her the option not to, and she appreciated that.

  “Okay,” she relented.

  “Wanna see the rest of the house?”

  The butterflies that had taken a nap awoke and started to flutter.

  “We’re doing this?”

  “If by ‘this’ you mean we’re together and you’re home, then yes, we’re doin’ this.”

  Something big started to cover Hope. It coated her skin, and for once in her life, it felt good, it felt like a protective coating. Not one made of guilt and loss to shield her from the world, but one made out of love and concern that would give her the future she wanted.

  Hope sat on Beau’s lap in a home he made for her, and she let the galloping in her heart slow. Then she let the fear unknot and slide away. Her future was unknown, but she knew it would include Beau, and really that was all that mattered to her. She was telling the truth when she told him she could survive him leaving her. She’d do it with a broken heart and empty soul, but she knew she wouldn’t break. The realization allowed her to be brave, to take a chance, to forgive, and finally to move on.

  No more blood-soaked dreams.

  “Yeah, show me the house.”

  Hope felt Beau’s body tense. Every muscle coiled and bunched, his eyes turned the deepest blue, and she saw it—a sheen
of wetness.

  Then he gave her the words, even though they weren’t necessary. He’d laid himself bare for her, he’d given her the greatest gift—himself, completely vulnerable and open. Beau hid nothing.

  “I’m gonna fill that empty, baby,” he whispered. “I’m gonna fill it until it floods out of you and spills over, then I’m gonna keep going. I swear, you’ll never regret forgiving me.”

  “I know.”

  “You know?”

  Hope adjusted herself on his lap and brought both hands up and cupped his handsome face.

  “I know,” she repeated.

  “Fuck,” he rasped. “Fucking hell, I love you so much.”

  “I know that, too.”

  And she did, she knew a hundred percent he loved her.

  Jangles stood in the doorway and stared at a sleeping Hope.

  She was in their bed.

  Where she belonged.

  He’d shown her the house, fed her, and lay down with her until she’d fallen asleep. Then he’d slipped out of bed and moved across the room to look at her. Holding her felt better, but watching her in her slumber settled something inside of him that he needed settled. She was safe in their bed, in their home, and he’d stand sentry while she rested. One day, the need would pass, but until it did, he’d watch over her.

  Jangles’ cell vibrated in his pocket. He stepped into the hall and gently closed the door to take the call.

  “Hello?”

  “Heard she’s home.”

  Tex.

  “Yeah. Thanks for your help.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  They disconnected and Jangles smiled. Ghost had been correct, Tex was a man you could trust.

  Before Jangles could decide whether to continue to stand watch, climb back into bed, or clean up the lunch dishes, there was a knock on the door. Not wanting to wake Hope, he quickly made his way through the house and checked out the front window to find Merlin’s truck at the curb.

  “Hey,” Jangles greeted when he opened the door.

  “Her car’s in the driveway.” Merlin held out her keys and dropped them into Jangles’ palm.

  “Appreciate you and Gwen driving down there to get it.”

  Merlin’s lips twitched before they curved into a broad smile.

  “Happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for myself.”

  “Happier for her,” Merlin continued. “The women are planning something at the bar before Nori and Woof head to D.C. to finish packing.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight.”

  “I’ll talk to Hope.”

  “I’d be persuasive if I were you.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Seems the women are over Hope pulling away. And, brother, I mean they are over it. She’s not there tonight, I wouldn’t be surprised if they plan a full assault. I’m talkin’ full Winchester, Jangles. They’ll make us look like baby operators the way they’ll storm this house.”

  Jangles wanted to demand Merlin tell the women to stand down and let Hope go to them when she was ready, but he knew his friend wouldn’t succeed. He also knew that Nori, Destiny, Gwen, and Ivy were good women and they’d take care of Hope.

  “Baby operators?”

  “While you’ve been living in your Castle of Catastrophe, the world has still been spinning around you. I see that you missed a few things so I’ll enlighten you—the women have been studying up on military tactics. And Gwen passed around Sun Tzu’s Art of War. Being as they’re women, they’re a fair bit smarter than us, so we’re all fucked.”

  Castle of Catastrophe?

  Where the hell did Merlin come up with this shit?

  “Noted.” Jangles smiled, and damn if it didn’t feel good.

  “See you tonight, brother.”

  Neither man moved. Both stood rooted, eyes locked, identical smiles.

  “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Merlin muttered.

  “Damn good.”

  And with a lift of his chin, Merlin turned and made his way across Jangles’ yard and got into his truck. Jangles didn’t watch him leave.

  He had something better waiting for him in the house.

  Chapter 31

  “This feels odd,” Hope shared.

  “What does?” Jangles returned, and cut the engine.

  “This. Us going out together, hanging with your friends at the Ugly Mug. A bar I used to work at.”

  “You gonna ask BF for your job back?”

  Hope bit her lip and contemplated Jangles’ question. She needed a job and couldn’t imagine working anywhere else, but she was afraid to ask BF.

  “Do you think he’d give it back to me?”

  “Considering he told me I had twenty-four hours to bring you home or he’d shoot me, I’d say yes, he’ll give you your job back.”

  “He did what?” Hope gasped.

  “He loves you, baby. He considers you family. I hurt you and he was telling me in no uncertain terms he was displeased. He wanted you home where he knows you belong and he was letting me know that it was my job to bring you back. Luckily for me, I accomplished that before Zip was digging buckshot outta my ass. I’d like to think the man wouldn’t aim to kill, but there’s no doubt he would’ve shot me if I came home empty-handed.”

  “He wouldn’t have shot you,” Hope said, even though she knew it was a lie.

  Baby Face totally would’ve shot Beau.

  He loves me like that.

  “Yeah, he would’ve.”

  “You’re right, he would’ve.” Hope smiled.

  “You sure you wanna do this? We could go home, crawl into bed, and watch some TV.”

  Hope’s smile grew. “Watch TV?”

  Then she watched her man’s lips tip up in a dazzling, bright, happy, sexy smile.

  “What, you don’t like TV?”

  “No, I love watching TV. TV’s great.” She played along and shrugged her shoulders.

  Jangles leaned over the center console, brushed an errant strand over her shoulder, and whispered, “When you’re ready, all you gotta do is say the word.”

  “Word.”

  “You sure?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  Jangles went silent and Hope pulled away so she could look at him. It was dark outside, the only illumination in the cab was from the lights in the parking lot. But Hope could still see the pensive look on his face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. That’s the thing, nothing is wrong. Everything’s perfect.”

  “Then why would you ask if I was ready to have sex with you?”

  “I’ll do anything for you.”

  Hope felt her heartrate tick up, not knowing where Beau was taking them but trusting that wherever it was, it would be good.

  “I know.”

  “I’d wait a lifetime if that’s what you needed.”

  God, I’m so happy I stopped running.

  “I know, Beau. Where are you going with this?”

  “I know down to the pit of my soul, you’re it for me. I know you’d survive losing me. You’re strong and resilient. But I wouldn’t survive losing you. I wouldn’t go on. There is no risk worth—”

  “Beau, honey, I know. Stop fretting.” Hope saw the smallest crack in his worried gaze. But it wasn’t enough. She needed it gone. “Do you love me?”

  “Yes.”

  Solid. No hesitation. Not that she needed to ask the question but there it was, more confirmation she’d made the right choice.

  “Do you know I love you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then take me inside, buy me a drink, then take me home. We have a new mattress to break in.” She watched Jangles’ lips twitch. “Oh, and one more thing. Normally, and I promise this, I won’t be the nagging girlfriend bitching about her man out with his buds tying one on. But tonight, you have a three-beer maximum. And you better suck those babies back quick.”

  “You in a hurry or something?”

  “Hell yeah. Fo
r the first time in thirteen years, I’ve gotta home. A real home. My man’s hot, and as I said, we gotta new bed to break in.”

  There it was. All the worry slid from Beau’s features, replaced with sheer magnificence—pure beauty, badass style. He shook his head, dipped his chin, and belted out the most beautiful laugh.

  Hell to the yes. She’d made the smartest decision of her life.

  They’d just stepped into the bar when something dawned on Hope and she yanked Beau to a stop.

  “Where’s Buster?”

  “What?”

  “You better not’ve gotten rid of her, Beau,” Hope said and narrowed her eyes. She hadn’t seen the cat anywhere. As a matter of fact, she’d been so wrapped up in her whirlwind of a day, she’d actually forgotten Beau had a cat.

  Oh, no, did she run away during the kidnapping? Poor Buster.

  And for the second time in the space of a few minutes, Beau busted out laughing.

  “Woof has her. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone, so I forced him to take Buster.”

  “Well, I’d like her back.”

  “You like my cat, baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “You like her so much, you can have her.”

  “Why do I feel like this is a trap?”

  “No trap. I’m just being nice. You like Buster so much, she’s all yours.”

  Hope tilted her head and studied Beau. “You know it doesn’t matter whose cat Buster is. We live together, she’s our cat.”

  “I insist, she’s all yours.”

  “There you are.” Gwen interrupted the ridiculous cat conversation.

  “Hey,” Hope greeted her friend.

  “The guys are playing pool,” Gwen told Beau. “I’m taking Hope.”

  But before Gwen could pull her away, Beau caught her around the back of the neck and turned her to face him. His lips lowered to hers, and front and center in the crowded bar, Jangles claimed his woman. He made it long, wet, and thorough.

  “Three drinks, baby,” he said.

  “Three drinks,” Hope agreed, then in a daze, she followed her friend to the table.

  “Woman down. Sheesh,” Destiny exclaimed. “That was hot.”