Shattered Chaos (Steel Roses Book 1)

by Samantha Bee

  I finish buttoning my jeans as Kade is just starting to pull his own pants back up grumbling to himself. The doorbell starts ringing incessantly.

  I smile at Scar, “I’ll get it.” I start walking out of her bedroom towards the front door.

  I hear her throw something else and I assume it was aimed towards Kade when she yells, “Thank fuck for Noah!”

  I chuckle to myself as I reach for the front door to open it. The laughter dies on my lips when I see the angry asshole standing at Scar’s front door.

  I shouldn’t call him an asshole without even knowing him. I’m usually not so judgmental but there is no way this guy standing in front of me is not an asshole.

  “Hey man, sorry. We were,” I hesitate as our morning flashes through my memory, “We were just getting up,” I finish lamely.

  The guy has been looking me up and down since I opened the door, “Who the fuck are you?” he demands.

  I cringe. I knew he was an asshole. I hope he’s not another one of the guys Scar is currently involved with because he really looks like he would like to use my face as a punching bag.

  “Never mind, you don’t matter,” he growls at me as he pushes past me into Scar’s house.

  Definitely an asshole.

  “What the fuck, man?”

  “Where the fuck is Scar?” he demands.

  “I’m sorry, who even are you?” I question him. I mean really? Who just barges into someone’s house like that? Besides a complete fucking asshole.

  He just snarls at me as he looks around the living room, his gaze lingering on Scar’s discarded clothes she left behind. While Kade and I had brought our clothes into her room prior to our shower, she had just left everything where it had been thrown. I can’t help the blush that creeps up my neck at the obvious evidence of our encounter laid out for this guy.

  Just as I’m about to ask him again who he is, Kade comes out of the bedroom and starts laughing when he sees the newcomer. His eyes going back and forth between the two of us.

  “Luca,” he calls out. “What’s up, dude?”

  The newcomer snaps his eyes away from Scar’s shorts and takes in a shirtless Kade coming out of Scar’s room. He looks back and forth between him and me, back to the clothes around the room.

  “What the actual fuck, Kade?” he snarls at the other guy.

  Of course, Kade just chuckles and shrugs off this guy’s anger. I’ve known Kade for only a few hours, but I have a feeling he is similar to Scar in the emotional department. Never taking anything serious. He wasn’t fazed by her anger and again with this guy, he hasn’t blinked at the murderous vibes this guy is giving off.

  I’m not a bitch by any means but I know what battles to pick and frankly, this is not a guy I would ever want to go head to head with. I just call that realistic. Kade is not bothered though. Just keeps smiling at the pair of us.

  “Noah, this is Luca,” Kade introduces the other guy to me. I move forward to shake his hand as Kade continues, “he’s Scar’s,”

  Luca cuts him off, “Boss. I’m Kade and Scar’s boss,” he explains as he grips my hand in a firm handshake. I’m kind of surprised that he’s being cordial now, like he didn’t just bust through the door and tell me that I didn’t matter.

  “I didn’t know you guys worked together,” I say. I knew that Scar was a bartender at Steel Roses and that she sometimes performed there but I didn’t realize Kade worked there too.

  Screwing a coworker seems kind of odd for her. From what I know she only gets involved with guys that she can easily cut ties with once she gets bored. It seems like messing around with a coworker would make that hard without it being awkward. Then again Kade doesn’t seem the type of guy to get his feelings hurt either.

  I never really thought that I would be involved with someone that would view me that way. I don’t know how I’ll feel when she does get bored of me, because it will happen eventually. I do know that I will never forget or regret my time with her. She really has brought out whole new sides of myself that I never even knew existed. If before I felt like I was just existing, there’s no doubt in my mind that when I’m with Scar I am living and living as the man I want to be. So, for now, that’s enough for me to just enjoy the time I do have with her.

  For some reason, my question has both men tensing, Kade rubs the back of his neck, shooting an annoyed look towards his boss as he explains, “We don’t actually work together per say.”

  I’m confused by the way the both of them are acting. I clearly stumbled into a topic they don’t feel like sharing with me but it’s not my fault they brought it up. Or at least this new guy did.

  Luca sighs, “Scar works at Steel Roses, but I have other businesses. Kade works for me but not at the club.”

  “Oh okay, cool,” while it’s a reasonable explanation, it doesn’t really explain the odd behavior. I let it go though, it’s really not any of my business and I know better than to insert myself in other people’s lives. If they or Scar want to share, they will in their own time.

  Just then Scar walks out of her room in jean shorts and a loose tank top that shows off her bra underneath and the tattoos on her ribs. She’s looking around as she walks out into the living room, her eyes running over the different surfaces. “Who the fuck was at the door?” she asks without looking over.

  I shuffle awkwardly on my feet and look at Kade, but the guy is still just smiling. I wonder if the guy ever stops smiling.

  Scar pops her head up when no one answers her. She looks around, her eyes pausing momentarily on each of us. When she finally lands on Luca, she just starts shaking her head.

  “Oh, fuck no,” she exclaims, “I’m not dealing with this.” She walks straight past us only pausing to slip into her sandals before grabbing her sunglasses and wallet off the counter as she heads to the door.

  “Dammit, Scar,” Luca growls, “I have a fucking job for you.”

  A job for her? That’s why he’s here? Why would you need to visit a bartender to tell her you have a job for her? I feel like I’m missing something vital from this situation.

  I study Kade’s face as his brow arches up at Luca’s exclamation. His curiosity evident. There’s no way it’s just for something at the club. I stay quiet though, not wanting to remind them of my presence in case they give away anything else. I can’t help my natural curiosity. I doubt Scar will come out and tell me. Kade might though.

  Scar keeps shaking her head but pauses for just a moment still looking around her, I catch Kade’s smile out of the corner of my eye just before he calls her name.

  Her head snaps back towards us when he tosses her phone towards her, “James texted you.”

  “Fuck James,” she practically snarls before shoving her phone back into her pocket and heading back towards the door. Kade’s self-satisfied smirk makes me wonder who James is. I feel like I’ve heard the name before but can’t put a face to it. I’m pretty sure he’s another guy Scar has been hooking up with for a couple of weeks.

  “I haven’t had enough coffee to deal with this fucking situation,” she hisses just before she slams the door leaving us alone in her apartment.

  I look between both guys, “Any chance she will bring something back for us?”

  Kade starts cracking up but Luca just stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” I mutter, answering my own question.

  “I can’t believe she just left me here with you two,” Luca scoffs, “I’m her fucking boss.”

  Kade laughs, “Really? You’re surprised? Cause I’m not.”

  Luca stops and whips his head back in Kade’s direction, “What the fuck, man? You’re supposed to be working right now.”

  Kade just shrugs, “They’ll be fine without me, Tyler is there,” he says. He walks around Luca into the kitchen and starts making coffee, gesturing back towards us silently questioning if we want any. I nod even though I had my coffee earlier.

  Luca mumbles incoherently under his br
eath as he types on his phone, probably clearing up any issues Kade not showing up for work caused, before nodding as well.

  Kade starts just nodding to himself as he sets up the coffee machine, “She only has this for emergencies,” he starts to explain.

  It’s not necessary though, I already know her preference for the coffee from the little coffee shop down the street, “It’s better when someone else makes it,” I say before realizing both Luca and Kade are muttering the same thing.

  We all look at each other and chuckle, “At least she’s consistent,” Luca says.

  Silence descends on the room as each of us are preoccupied with our own tasks.

  Just as Kade finishes the coffee, Luca slips his phone back into his pocket and clears his throat, “So,” he hesitates, looking between Kade and me, “what’s going on here?” he asks as Kade passes him his cup of coffee.

  Kade drapes his arm over my shoulder as he hands me my cup, “Are you asking if we are an item?” he asks as he leans his head against my shoulder.

  Completely shocked I just stare down at his face snuggling into my shoulder. My eyebrows draw in together. I mean we did see each other’s dicks but there was no actual sexual contact between the two of us.

  He must be very committed to his own jokes. I don’t know who he is trying to make uncomfortable though. Luca is just watching us as Kade drags one of his fingers up and down my arm as he stares back at him, his head still leaning on my shoulder. While I was surprised, I’m not exactly uncomfortable. I’ve never flirted with a guy or been interested in a guy that way, but I’m not repulsed by it either. It’s weird but I’ve already figured out Kade’s a weird dude, so it’s not like I’m freaked out by it.

  Luca just cocks a brow at us, “Well, something obviously happened,” gesturing towards Scar’s clothes, “and I’m assuming it wasn’t just between the two of you,” he finishes as he points at us, completely nonplussed by his employee’s behavior.

  Kade just shrugs as he moves away from me, “We all just discovered we have some voyeuristic kinks,” he smiles and pins Luca with an intense stare, “And our girl is a bit of an exhibitionist.”

  The way he emphasized “our girl” and the look he gave Luca made me think there was more meaning behind the words he was saying.

  “Oh, you’re involved with Scar, too?” I ask Luca, although I’m fairly positive I already know the answer. It would explain the possessive vibe I have been getting from him. He was not happy to have another guy answering her door.

  “That’s kind of surprising,” I can’t imagine she likes when one of her guys starts acting out in jealousy and he definitely had no qualms about barging in here and telling me that I don't matter. Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.

  “What’s so surprising about that?” he chokes out looking like he wants to throttle me. Kade on the other hand, looks vastly amused by this turn in the conversation.

  “Well,” I hesitate, “it’s just not like she can cut and run when she gets bored when it’s her boss,” I explain.

  “When? Not if?” Kade asks, still looking amused.

  I just shrug, “Anyone who expects more from Scar is setting themselves up for failure and heartbreak.”

  Luca tilts his head as he studies me, “You’re just okay with that? With being temporary? With letting her use you as a distraction? You know that’s all you are, right?”

  I can hear the astonishment in his voice, but I’m confused. Isn’t that what we all signed up for by getting involved with her? I don’t know about them, but she has always been extremely upfront with me that there are no emotions involved with what we have. We have fun together until it's no longer fun for one or both of us.

  “Umm, yeah?” I answer him, tilting my head as I study him, mimicking him.

  “Why?” he asks.

  I sigh, “Because she’s one of a kind. You take what she offers and enjoy it while it lasts. Because there will never be another like her and she is not someone you want to miss out on knowing, on experiencing.”

  “So why not fight to keep her?”

  I scoff, “Nobody will ever keep Scar. If she ever settles down, it will be her who does the keeping.”

  Kade’s raucous laughter drowns out whatever Luca might have replied to that, but he is also smiling at me.

  “I like him,” Kade says to Luca before turning back to me, “I like you,” he repeats to me. Turning back to Luca he continues, “I think we should keep him.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  Chapter Six

  I rush out of the apartment because I mean come on? Walking into your living room to find three guys who have seen you naked and been inside of you, just standing there shooting the breeze? Who wouldn’t run away?

  I am a strong independent woman… who definitely needs a fuck ton more caffeine before walking back into that situation. As any sane person would agree. Or really any insane person too, especially considering I lean more towards the latter of those two categories. It's unnatural to have to face that level of awkwardness so early in the damn day.

  What time is it even?

  I wince when I check the time on my phone, it’s already well into the afternoon. I guess our morning activities threw off my schedule more than I realized. I still have a shit ton of things that I need to get done before the weekend since I’ll be back at Steel Roses.

  Hmm, speaking of, I have to text Mikey and Ronan that I have a performance on Saturday. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen them. I quickly take out my phone and send a quick message to the both of them as I walk into my favorite coffee shop. I’ll have to remember to tell Luca to save the guys a table in the VIP lounge for the show.

  I look up as I walk towards the counter and see my favorite barista, Brittany, behind the bar. Being midafternoon, she’s the only one back there. I flash her a huge smile when she looks up at me.

  “Hey, girly, give me just a second,” she calls out to me.

  I wave her off. I only have to wait a few moments before she makes her way over to me to take my order.

  “Your usual?” she asks.

  I just smile and nod. She laughs, “Noah was in here earlier and got your drink?” She says it as a question since I did in fact already have my normal cup of coffee, which is mostly just a cup full of espresso with a splash of milk and some toffee flavored sweetener. It’s a lot of caffeine in one cup let alone having a second cup just a handful of hours later.

  I shrug but the grin I give her is absolutely wicked, “He did bring me my usual,” I confirm as I walk over to the other side of the bar as she starts to make my drink.

  “Uh huh,” she sighs, “I know there’s a story there. Your evil grin gives it away. Spill it, bitch,” she teases me.

  I laugh, “Kade answered the door and let him in.”

  “Shut up!” she yells, drawing the attention of the other customers in the small coffee shop. She winces and gestures to them in apology before turning back to me.

  “You didn’t,” she whisper yells, causing me to laugh all the harder, “You fucking did, you dirty bitch!” She joins me laughing.

  This is why she is my favorite barista. Since she started working here, she really has become more of a friend than someone who just serves me my coffee. I don't have a long list of close friends but her personality that’s as loud as the wild red curls on top of her head were enough for me to make an exception for her.

  We still aren’t particularly close in the sense that she doesn’t know anything about my past or the shady parts of my current life. She is, however, an enthusiastic audience for all my escapades and a fun dance partner to go out with. She never judges but rather, actively encourages my less than typical lifestyle. There’s a wildness in her as well that speaks to my own. She can be as uninhibited as I am when she’s single, she’s just not too broken for more.

  I start to fan myself, “It was hot. I saw a whole new side of Noah. All domineering and bossy, making me tease myself.”

&
nbsp; “Noah?” she gasps, “Sweet, quiet Noah!? Noah who watched you from afar for months and never actually made a move, not only participated in a threesome but bossed you around?” The shock written all over her face mimics my thoughts from this morning.

  I really was so surprised to see that side of Noah. He’s honestly a bit more on the submissive side whenever we are together. Not necessarily in bed but just in all of our interactions he sits back and lets me take the lead. Submissive may not be the right word, just easy going.

  It's one of the things that keeps me coming back to him. I’ve had so many guys push for more or push to control our interactions or act like they had to be more nonchalant than me because god forbid the man seems more attached than the woman. Not that I really want any of them to get attached to me but still, it all ends up feeling so forced or clingy and I just hate that.

  Noah is just always willing to take whatever I give him, no expectations. Yet after our initial interaction, he has no fear with asking me out or letting me know he is available. He never gets mad when I’m busy. He doesn’t try too hard and is naturally just accepting of me and the other guys in my life, as he clearly proved this morning.

  I smirk back at Brittany, “Trust me, sweet, quiet Noah, was anything but this morning.”

  “Girl, why are you even here instead of there?”

  I cringe, “Well, we all kind of fell asleep,”

  She nods, encouraging me to continue.

  “Then Luca showed up. Noah answered the door. I walked out to all three of them just standing in a circle talking,” I finish explaining with another wince.

  Britt's mouth is hanging open, “You ran, didn’t you?” I just nod to confirm, still cringing.

  She cackles, “Oh god, I need all the dirty details soon. Are you working this weekend?” She hands me my iced espresso and leans against the counter to chat with me.

  “I’ll be at Steel Roses all weekend, performances on Saturday but just bar tomorrow night and Sunday,” I tilt my head as I study her, “I was gonna get a VIP table for some friends on Saturday, if you wanna come party. I’ll be able to hang out between sets.”