A Gay Polyester High School Romance

by S. W. Ballenger

  “All those tricks you’ve learned from years of experience, huh?” he said flippantly.

  I gritted my teeth and pointed. “Look, Brad. You’re starting to act like an ass again.”

  “Fine.” He threw his hands up. “I won’t say another word.” He shot his eyes toward the window to avoid my stare.

  We sat in silence until we pulled up in front of Tabitha’s house. I was the first to exit the car. As soon as we both stepped out, he grabbed me by the shoulder.

  “Sorry, man,” he apologized. “I’ll give you and Tabitha alone time.” He looked at me with those big blue puppy-dog eyes that always made me forgive him.

  I nodded. “It’s fine.”

  Turning toward the large brick house drowning in decaying leaves from the large oaks surrounding it, I wrung my hands together nervously before glancing over my shoulder at Brad who looked as though he’d rather be anywhere on earth but here.

  “You ready for this?” I asked.

  “No,” he sighed, “but let’s get this over with.”

  Stepping up to the front porch, I spotted a Jack-O-Lantern sitting next to the wrought-iron chair just to the right of the front door. It hadn’t occurred to me that Halloween was just a few days away. The flickering of the candle from within its hollow interior made its eyes glow, sending sharp tingling sensations up my spine.

  I looked back at Brad then again to the carved pumpkin. “It’s kinda spooky isn’t it?”

  He chuckled. “I never understood why Jack-O-Lanterns scare you. It’s just a carved up vegetable.”

  “And I never understood why clowns scare you. They’re just dudes with make-up.” I smirked.

  “Pumpkins can’t kill you, clowns can.”

  I laughed. “Wuss.”

  As we made our way to the front door, I averted my eyes from the object of my irrational fear. Noticing it, Brad clicked his tongue and shook his head.

  Elbowing him playfully in the ribs, he stumbled backward a few feet, grabbed his side, and laughed.

  Not waiting for Brad to recover, I banged the knocker against the door.

  As the click-clack sound of heels came closer to the door, I felt my mouth go dry. This will be the night I’ll become a man. The thought kept replaying in my head.

  A moment later, the door opened to a perfectly made-up Tabitha. A nervous smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, but quickly subsided when I spotted the sour expression on her face.

  She glanced down at her wristwatch. “You’re late.”

  “Yeah…um…my mom had to take—” I started.

  “Never mind.” She looked at the waiting limo. “Let’s just go,” she said, presumptuously holding her hand out for me to escort her.

  Her rudeness did not sit well with me. When I glanced at Brad, I could see from his creased brow he felt the same way.

  A moment later, another girl with long red hair adorned with flower barrettes and wearing a turquoise dress that matched the color of Brad’s suit came up behind Tabitha. Brad wrinkled his nose at her dreaded pink cardigan.

  “Hi, Penny.” Brad didn’t even try to smile.

  “Hi.” Penny returned the greeting with the same level of enthusiasm.

  It was going to be a long night.

  • • •

  The limo ride was anything but pleasant, and I was beginning to question whether Tabitha was the right girl for me. She started by describing in excruciating detail the adventure she and her mother had in Hartford in pursuit of the “perfect” dress for the night’s events. At least she seemed in a much better mood than she did when I met her at the door; however it didn’t take me long to notice how she kept baiting me for compliments from her dress to her hair, and to the perfectly manicured nails she had done at the most expensive nail salon in the city. In fact, she would pause after she asked a question like, “I wasn’t sure about this nail color. What do you think, Shawn?” before shoving her hand in front of my face waiting for me to answer with the expected “They’re very pretty.” After answering, I would fake a smile and glance at Brad, who would openly roll his eyes before cutting them to the right at a very silent Penny, who sat stiff as a board staring straight ahead. I was beginning to wonder if she was some sort of robot, as I never saw her blink once during the entire limo ride to the dance.

  Admittedly, Tabitha did look beautiful with her long-flowing yellow dress with ruffled lace stacked in layers from her waist to her feet. The low-cut neckline added to its appeal. With her long red hair feathered into slight curls and her flawless skin, my male ego felt sufficiently stoked knowing I had scored the prettiest girl in school as my date to the dance. I wasn’t quite ready to give up on a relationship with her.

  At the dance, Tabitha wanted to dance to every single song, especially slow ones where she’d press her body against mine in an aggressive manner that made me wonder if she was going to do me right there on the dance floor. I also began to wonder if she might have seen me as some sort of trophy date the way she paraded me around to her friends.

  My suspicions were confirmed when she wrapped her arm around mine, pulled me close, and prodded me to tell her friends and their dates about my family vacations to Europe, China, and Australia. I honestly had no idea how she knew all about my family’s travels unless she committed my “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” speeches in elementary school to memory. Not only that, she called me “Sweetie” at least three times, which at that point I started to have my doubts about her again.

  Brad was faring much worse than me. Penny sat in a metal folding chair at the edge of the basketball court the entire time gabbing to her gal pals. At least it proved she had speech circuits. In one of the endless slow dances, I peered over Tabitha’s shoulder and spotted Brad on the far end of the court hanging out with the dateless guys who were drinking punch and tapping their feet to the beat of the music as if they were actually having a good time. I felt so bad for him. Seeing my best friend dressed so handsomely, but alone and miserable, made me glad that Tabitha was ready to make her exit.

  While she collected Penny, I made my way over to Brad.

  As soon as he saw me he lowered his eyebrows and gave me that “look.”

  “I’m ready to go,” he said in a very gruff tone.

  Glancing back at Tabitha, who was gabbing it up with her and Penny’s friends, I said to Brad, “She’s something else isn’t she?”

  “Has she told everyone that Howard Hughes is a close personal friend of your dad’s?” He held his cup to his lips. “Or better yet that your dad has been knighted by the Queen?”

  I rolled my eyes at the craziness of it all. “Oh God.”

  The corners of Brad’s mouth lifted slightly for the first time the entire evening.

  I chuckled. “I’m just ready to get to The Point.”

  Brad’s face suddenly dropped. “You aren’t seriously thinking about still doing it with her after she’s made it obvious you’re her trophy date?”

  I glanced over my shoulder at her. “She’s the one that suggested we go there. I think she really likes me and dude, come on, she’s a fox.”

  “Dude!” Brad raised his voice. “She’s using your family’s money to impress her friends. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you.”

  Although Brad had a point, I felt she had to like me more than just for my family’s money. So what if she like to parade me around to her friends? In a way, I was doing the same with her to my own friends. I was the envy of every guy in the school and if I ended up scoring with her, my reputation as a ladies’ man would be sealed.

  “Well, if she’s willing, I’m willing,” I said, trying to justify the action I was about to take.

  Brad shook his head. “Fine. If that makes it alright in your head, you go for it, buddy.” He slammed his cup down on the table and walked away.

  I stood and watched him exit the gym. Looking to Tabitha again, I let my best friend’s words sink in.

  I suppose he had a point. We weren’t really that compa
tible. We were both using each other for our own selfish reasons. While two wrongs don’t make a right, being intimate with a beauty like Tabitha trumped any of the moral conflicts I was having.

  • • •

  After we all reassembled in the car, I informed the driver to take us to the scenic overlook lying just outside town. I didn’t want to say The Point, although I could tell from his slight grin he knew exactly the reason behind my request.

  The limo came to a stop and I glanced to my right at Tabitha, who had intertwined my hand with hers. I then looked to Brad who sat close to the driver side door while Penny sat on the opposite end of the bench as far away from Brad as possible.

  I gave Brad the look indicating my decision. He remained emotionless as he looked to Penny.

  “You want to go for a walk?” he asked.

  Penny looked to Tabitha, whose eyes bulged, giving her an unspoken sign to leave.

  Brad, who had not spoken a single word to me since we left the gym, opened the door and exited, followed by Penny.

  Immediately after the door closed, Tabitha attacked me with her lips.

  Taken aback, I jerked away at first but then after I realized that her lips were pressed against mine, I leaned into it. Her lips tasted of strawberry lip gloss and were soft as velvet. The rose-scented perfume added to the excitement I felt in kissing my first girl.

  A few moments later, she began unbuttoning my shirt and rubbing her hands over my bare chest. It didn’t take long before I was at full attention. I placed my hand on her knee and began running it along the inside of her bare leg; sliding it up until I felt the lace of her panties. I debated on whether I should proceed.

  Right at that moment, she grabbed between my legs and I gasped.

  “Oh, Shawn.” She sighed as I entered new territory that made all my other travels abroad seem like a trip to the grocery store.

  I had just managed to pull Tabitha’s panties down when out of nowhere a loud piercing scream echoed through the night. Immediately we stopped, jerked back, and looked at each other. Suddenly, the door opened and Penny burst through in a fit of rage. Tabitha gasped as she quickly pulled her panties up and I fumbled to button my pants.

  “Penny!” Tabitha screamed angrily as she tried to straighten her dress.

  “He touched me!” Penny yelled and pressed herself as far against the passenger side door as possible.

  Tabitha furrowed her eyebrows at her. “What?”

  “That…” She pointed toward the door barely able to speak, “creep…touched my…” She then looked down at her breast.

  I zipped up my pants and quickly jumped out of the car.

  Frantically searching the park, I spotted Brad sitting on a bench near the edge of the overlook. I ran over to him and squinted at him.

  “What the hell did you do?” I yelled, angry and upset that he interrupted the moment I was about to become a man.

  “I touched her boobs,” he said very nonchalantly. “Guess she didn’t like it.” He shrugged as casually as if she’d just turned down his offer of a piece of chewing gum.

  “Well obviously she didn’t,” I yelled. I noticed my shirt was wide open.

  “How was I to know? She finally started talking to me, then moved closer and…well,” he shrugged, “she acted like she wanted me to make a move, so I did.”

  “Brad! Damnit!” I yelled in frustration. “I was just about to—”

  “Sorry,” Brad interrupted and looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes. “I just don’t know how to read girls.”

  Again, those eyes. Those goddamn eyes. Every single time, I let them get to me. I hesitated a moment, then sighed. “I know. It’s just…I was so close.”

  He hung his head. “I’m sorry, man.”

  I peered at the lights from the city below. I suppose it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how to read Penny’s android-like moves.

  “It’s okay. I’m probably better off not doing it with Tabitha, anyway. I don’t even have protection.”

  Brad’s eyes bulged. “Dude!”

  “Yeah, I know.” The thought of Tabitha having my baby was downright scary.

  “I guess we know Penny isn’t a robot.” The corners of Brad’s mouth lifted slightly.

  I rolled my eyes. Obviously Brad had been thinking the same thing I had all evening.

  • • •

  No one spoke the rest of the limo ride back. Tabitha seemed thoroughly annoyed at Penny, giving her dirty looks now and again. When we dropped her and Penny off at Tabitha’s house, Tabitha gave me a slight peck on the cheek. I realized the more time I spent with Tabitha, the less I wanted to in the future.

  As soon as Brad and I entered my bedroom, I immediately began stripping off my suit that reeked of Tabitha’s expensive perfume.

  “Well, that was fun,” Brad said as he pulled off his bowtie and threw it on my dresser.

  “A real blast,” I said as I sat down on the bed and pulled off my shoes.

  “Dude. I think Poison Penny definitely lived up to her name tonight?” He laughed as he pulled off his jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt.

  “God. She was such a downer.” I stripped off my socks. “Sorry I ever thought she would make a good date for you, buddy.”

  “It’s okay.” He jerked his undershirt over his head and stood in just his pants and shoes. “Shit happens.”

  I laughed at Brad’s favorite new expression as I watched him sling his long hair back over his shoulders, holding his white T-shirt in his hand. I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering to Brad’s tanned pecs he’d gotten from mowing shirtless in the summer. I felt that tingling below again. God, I really needed to have that release with Tabitha.

  I quickly averted my eyes from Brad’s muscular torso, pulling off my own undershirt. “Yeah, Penny was a prude.”

  “Did you see the way she walked?” Brad stopped undressing.

  “You mean like she had a pole up her ass?” I leaned back, resting on my elbows.

  “Exactly!” Brad stood up straight as a board, jutted his chest out, and began prancing around the room robotically. “Hi, I’m Penelope. Like my tiny tits?” He pulled on his nipples as if he were trying to make them bigger. I fell back on the bed laughing as he continued. “Oh, what’s that you asked?” He stopped and pointed to his butt. “That’s just the pole that I have stuck up my ass. It helps with posture.” He then continued walking around the room.

  Switching to an exaggerated impression to Tabitha, he looked at me seductively from across the room.

  “Hi.” He licked his lips. “I’m Tabitha.” He started acting like Marilyn Monroe as he gyrated and sashayed toward me.

  He cupped his hands under his pecs and looked down. “Oh, wait. Not big enough,” he said in his normal voice and dropped his hands lower, wiggling as he pretended to push them up. “Now, that’s better,” he continued as I laughed hysterically.

  Soon, he stood directly in front of me, staring down at me on the bed. “You want to feel these jugs, big boy?” He waggled his eyebrows. “All you have to do is ask.” He winked.

  “Stop! You’re killing me, bro!” I clasped my stomach. When Brad got on one of his rolls, there was no stopping him.

  He put his index finger to his lips and giggled. “Ooh, Shawn, your dad owns his own airline? That sooo turns me on.” He slowly rolled his eyes.

  I had tears in my eyes as I playfully kicked his shin. “Would you stop?”

  “Ouch,” he said in his normal voice as he bent down and reached for his ankle, losing his balance in the process and falling directly on top of me. His arms landed on either side of me and he pushed himself up. His face was mere inches from mine as we laughed. Abruptly, his face became serious, causing me to stop laughing. I felt the heat of his breath as he leaned his face closer to mine; his long hair gently touching my cheek and cascading down the sides of my head, creating a tunnel trapping him and me within it. We stared at each other; our eyes darting back and forth. Slowly, he leaned do
wn and brushed his lips against mine. A kind of electricity shot through my body as a million thoughts and feelings flashed through my head like bolts of lightning. A moment later, I felt his tongue probing for entry into my mouth and as if I had lost all sense of logic, I relaxed and let him in. His tongue wrapped around mine as my tongue began reciprocating. What the fuck am I doing? I’m kissing a guy! I’m kissing Brad! I never felt so turned on in my life.

  In that moment, my logical mind shot impulses to my limbs, telling them to respond to this form of sexual deviancy by pushing him away, but my emotional side prevented the currents from reaching their destination, with the battle taking place somewhere around my elbows. This feels good, my pleasure centers fired, adding more ammunition to the emotional side. He’s your best friend; guilt decided to align itself with logic. You know you’ve always loved him. No, not Love! Go away! I screamed just as Hatred swooped in and screamed the four words that won the battle: You’re a fag, Shawn!

  With those words, my hands made contact with his chest, my brow tightened, and my eyes squinted.

  “Get the fuck off me!” I screamed as I shoved him back with every ounce of strength I had in me. Brad flew up, stumbled backward and tripped over his feet; landing on the floor with a loud thump. Immediately, I jumped up and pulled my fist back defensively, looking down at him with a level of anger I had never felt for my best friend in my entire life.

  “Oh God, Shawn, I’m so sorry,” Brad said, his face void of blood, his eyes wide and pleading, and his body shaking with fear.

  “Get the hell out!” I screamed, loud enough to shake the walls.

  “I’m so sorry.” He began crying as he scrambled backward on his hands to the bathroom, before jumping up and sprinting through the door, locking himself inside.

  I stood like a statue, with only my eyes moving as I watched him disappear. The thoughts of what just happened replayed in my mind. It took several minutes for me to recover from the initial shock. I glanced around trying to decide on my next move.