Summer of the Loon

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  Ali wiped at the beer stain with the wet rag, but it was no use. The beer had soaked through her sweatshirt and nothing short of a full washing was going to take the beer smell out of it. Her jeans weren't as wet, but she knew they'd also stink of beer. She looked up at Chase and shrugged. "I'll just have to wash it," she said quietly.

  "I'm sorry," Chase said. "We should have left earlier."

  "No. It's not your fault. I can wash it."

  They stood there beside the lake, the light from the half-moon reflecting off the water and onto them. The water was calm, lapping gently against the shore. It was chilly out, but it was quieter here, away from the party, and it felt peaceful and intimate.

  "Do you want to go?" Chase asked.

  Ali looked up at him. "We could just sit here for a while."

  Chase smiled. "Wait here a moment." He ran off toward the truck again and came back with a big, heavy blanket. Chase opened it up, placed half of it on the ground for them to sit on and then wrapped it around their shoulders like a small tent as they sat close together inside it.

  "What don't you have in that truck?" Ali asked, laughing.

  Chase shrugged. "It's Minnesota. We all carry warm blankets and winter emergency kits in case we get stuck in the snow. I've never had to use this blanket before. I kind of like using it like this, though."

  "Me too," Ali agreed.

  "Are you warm enough?" Chase asked.

  "Yes."

  "I never come to these parties," Chase said. "Everyone acts so stupid and immature. I don't care that they want to drink and have fun, most kids our age do. But I don't want to act stupid, then black out and wonder what I'd done the night before. It just seems like such a waste to me."

  Ali nodded agreement.

  Behind them, they heard the party going in full swing. But around them the frogs chirped and croaked and the water made soft rippling noises. Ali felt Chase's warmth beside her, and it felt good. She hugged her half of the blanket closer around her, thinking about the party, and how that awful girl, Emily, knew who she was. It bothered her that everyone in town knew who she was, who her grandfather was, and where she came from, but she didn't know who any of them were.

  "You're awfully quiet," Chase said. "Is something the matter?"

  "Why is it everyone knows who I am, even before I tell them? And they know I'm Ben's granddaughter, and that my mother died."

  Chase sighed. "It's a small town. News travels fast when someone new comes to live here."

  "It's creepy," Ali said.

  Chase chuckled. "Yeah, it probably is to you. I've been around it all my life, so I'm used to everyone knowing my business."

  Ali dropped her eyes. "Does everyone also know how my mother died?" she asked quietly.

  Chase looked over at her, a serious expression on his face. "I don't. No one in town has ever said anything to me about it, either. I think Ben and my mom do, though. But that's about all."

  Ali looked up at Chase. She hadn't talked much about her mother since coming here, and she hadn't planned on talking about her tonight. But all the drinking and partying going on around her had stirred up old memories, and she thought she'd burst if she didn't confide in someone.

  "I found her," Ali said softly. "She was laying on the sofa, on her side, one arm hanging over the edge. She was so still, I thought she was just passed out again. But when I touched her to wake her up, I knew. She felt, different."

  "Oh, God, Ali. I'm so sorry," Chase said. He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "What had happened to her?"

  Chills traveled over Ali's body despite the warmth she felt sitting beside Chase. Two tears ran down her cheeks. "She'd been drinking, and she'd taken some of her sleeping pills, too. No one knows if she took too many by accident, or on purpose. But it was too much, and it killed her."

  "That's so sad," Chase said. "I'm so sorry, Ali. It must have been terrible."

  Ali dropped her head onto Chase's shoulder, the tears now running freely down her cheeks. She'd been strong the night her mother had died. She'd been strong at the funeral, unable to allow the tears to flow. But now, sitting here with Chase, the tears came easily, and he held her close as she cried for her mother.

  ***

  Ben looked over at the clock on the nightstand. Eleven thirty-five p.m. Quietly, he rolled over and started to rise from bed.

  "Hey. Where are you going?" Jo asked in a sleepy voice from the other side of the bed.

  Ben smiled and rolled back over toward Jo. He kissed her gently on the cheek. "The kids will be back soon," he said. "It won't look good if they find me in bed with you, now will it?"

  Jo chuckled. "You know, it's not as big a secret as you think. I can almost bet Chase is onto us, and it won't be long before Ali figures it out, too."

  Ben sighed, slipped out of bed, and began dressing. "I have to be careful not to give Ali the wrong message."

  "I think Ali's smart enough to understand the difference between teens having a relationship and us old people having one. Our situation is different, Ben. We've both been married and now we're both single. It might gross her out to think we're 'doing it,' but I doubt if it will confuse her."

  Ben shook his head. "You have such a way with words."

  "Thank you," Jo said, laughing.

  Dressed now, Ben leaned over the bed and kissed Jo lightly on the lips. "Let's just get Ali safely through this next year, and Chase off to college, then you can tell them anything you want. They'll be grown up and no longer our responsibility."

  "Oh, Ben. Do you really believe that? Chase will always be my responsibility, as long as I live. And Ali will be yours. Kids may grow up, but they'll always need their parents."

  "I'm not Ali's parent," Ben said.

  "No. But you're all she has left. So you're responsible for her whether you like it or not."

  Ben sighed. He leaned down and kissed Jo again. "Goodnight," he said softly. Then he headed out of the lodge and up to his cabin.

  Chapter Twelve

  At a minute to midnight, Chase pulled his truck into Ben's driveway and stopped, leaving it to idle. "Looks like Ben didn't wait up for you. It's dark inside."

  "Well, you know Ben. Lights out at nine, that's his motto," Ali said, and both kids chuckled. Ali bit her lip. "I'm sorry for crying. It was your night, your graduation celebration, and I ruined it for you."

  Chase shook his head. "I didn't mind. And you didn't ruin my night. The party wasn't fun anyway. I liked sitting with you by the lake. And I'm glad you confided in me."

  Ali smiled at him. "Thanks. I guess I should go in." She slowly opened the truck's door.

  "I'll go with you and open up the garage door for you," Chase offered.

  "You don't have to. I can open it."

  "I know, but I want to. How will you see, going up to your room?"

  "There's a flashlight by the washing machine I can use," Ali told him.

  They both left the truck and stood by the garage door. The night air was cold, and Ali shivered after leaving the warmth of the truck's cab. Chase stood close to her, placing his hands on her arms. Ali looked up into Chase's eyes. In the light of the headlights, their shadows stood tall above them against the garage door. Just as Chase lowered his head to touch lips with Ali, the garage door flew open with a bang, making both kids jump back.

  "Are you coming in or are you both going to stand there all night?" Ben asked. His shirt was half tucked into his jeans and his hair was mussed.

  "Geez, you scared me to death," Ali said. "I thought you were asleep."

  "Well, I would have been if that blasted truck hadn't come roaring up the driveway and those headlights weren't in my eyes," Ben said, sounding gruff as ever. Ben sniffed the air. "Do I smell beer? Geez, it's strong. Were you drinking?" he asked Ali.

  "No," Ali said defensively. "Jake tripped and spilled beer all over me, that's why it's so strong."

  Ben crossed his arms. "And you expect me to believe that? You went to a
drinking party and didn't have any beer?"

  Ali glared at her grandfather. "Yes. I do expect you to believe that. I don't drink. You, of all people, should know why."

  Ben turned to Chase. "And I suppose you didn't have any beer, either?"

  "I had one, but Ali didn't have any. She's telling the truth. Jake dumped beer all over her by accident," Chase told him.

  "Humph," Ben said. "Well, go on home, Chase. Morning's going to come fast."

  Chase smiled over at Ali, then got into his truck and left. Ali turned on her heel and walked over to the washing machine, pulled her sweatshirt off, and threw it in the machine. She glared one last time at her grandfather before grabbing the flashlight next to the washing machine and heading up the stairs.

  Ben shrugged and headed back into the cabin and to bed.

  ***

  The next morning in the boat, Ali and Ben barely spoke a word to each other for the first half hour. Ali was tired. She was physically tired from being up late the night before and mentally tired from being angry at her grandfather for accusing her of drinking. It made her so mad that he treated her like an irresponsible teenager. She'd been the one who'd held her and her mother's life together for years back in California, yet her grandfather treated her like she was incapable of doing anything. Finally, trying not to sound irritated, she spoke up.

  "When I tell you I didn't do something, I expect you to believe me."

  Ben looked at her, his expression guarded. "What?"

  "Last night. I told you I didn't drink any beer, and you didn't believe me. I don't lie. If I say I didn’t, I didn't. I'm not irresponsible, and I certainly would never drink. If you knew me, you'd understand that."

  Ben sat a moment without responding. He reeled in his line, then cast it out into the water again. Finally, he spoke. "Okay. You're right. I have no reason to distrust you."

  Ali sat there, dumbfounded. She couldn't believe he'd given in this easily.

  "Can I ask you a question?" Ben asked.

  "Okay."

  "What did you mean when you said that I, of all people, should know why you wouldn't drink alcohol?"

  Ali sat silent. She didn't want to have this conversation with her grandfather. She'd said it in a moment of rage last night, without thinking. Now, she had to explain herself. She took a deep breath, trying to hold her emotions in check.

  "You know how my mother died," Ali said steadily. "I know Megan's mother told you. Knowing that, you should realize that I wouldn't want to touch alcohol."

  Ben nodded. "Okay. I understand." He returned to fishing in silence and didn't probe for more details. Ali relaxed and was finally the first one that morning to catch a walleye.

  ***

  The first week of June hit with a heat wave. Ali's grandfather kept saying how unusual that was, how June was generally cool and wet. Instead, it was hot and muggy, and the mosquitoes and biting flies came out with a vengeance. Ali learned quickly that staying out after dusk or walking in the woods during the day wasn't possible without a coating of mosquito repellent. And to top it off, the humidity brought with it flies that looked harmless but would snack on you if given the chance.

  "Crap," Ali yelled one day after another nasty fly took a bite out of her arm. She swatted at it, killed it, and was rewarded with her own blood smeared all over her arm. "Gross. How do you stand these things?" she asked Jo, who was helping her clean out one of the larger cabins.

  Jo shrugged. "I guess you get used to it. Don't you have flies and mosquitoes in California?"

  "Flies, yes, but not ones that bite you. Mosquitoes, no. At least not in southern California. Ouch!" Another fly bit her on the shoulder. "These things bite right through clothes. It's terrible."

  Jo chuckled. "Sorry, Ali. You'll have to put the bug spray on pretty thick. You must be new meat to them. If I were you, I'd stay out of the woods, too. If you don't like mosquitoes and flies, you really won't like the ticks."

  Ali shivered. She'd seen Chase pull a tick off of his ankle after he'd been in the tall grass. She didn't want to even think about how nasty those creatures were.

  June also brought more guests to the lodge and the cabins were full most nights. Ali worked hard each day, cleaning cabins, doing laundry, and helping with breakfast and supper. Now that the families were arriving, Jo served breakfast from six to nine each morning, so that meant extra time in the kitchen. Ali didn't mind the work, she was used to working hard, but she missed spending time with Chase, who was also busy working around the lodge.

  One morning in the boat, as Ali enjoyed the cool morning breeze before the heat of the day set in, Ben sniffed the air and said, "It's going to rain soon. Hopefully, it will break this heat wave."

  Ali quietly sniffed the air. She didn't smell anything different. "How do you know it's going to rain?"

  "I can smell it in the air. The maple and poplar tree leaves are flipped over, too. All signs of a storm brewing," Ben told her.

  Ali sniffed the air again. "All I smell is bug spray," she said.

  That night, just as Ali and her grandfather walked up to the cabin a little before nine o'clock, Ben pointed out the dark clouds rolling in. "Thunder clouds," he said. "We're in for a big storm tonight." And he was right. By nine thirty, just after Ali had snuggled down in her bed, exhausted from her busy day, she heard the wind outside pick up and the first roll of thunder echoing across the sky. She lay there awhile, waiting, and then jumped when her room lit up from a flash of lightning and the thunder rumbled louder. Rain began to pound on the roof with such vengeance that Ali thought for sure it would come right through. Then the sky lit up and rumbled so loud, Ali swore the room actually shook. She wasn't sure if lightning could strike the attic roof or not, and she didn't want to find out, so she grabbed her flashlight, slipped on a pair of pajama pants, grabbed a sweatshirt, and ran downstairs where she hoped it would be safer.

  Another roll of thunder ripped through the sky just above the cabin when Ali entered through the kitchen door. She saw light coming from the living room, and when she entered, she saw her grandfather in his favorite chair, a lit oil lamp at his side.

  "Couldn't sleep through all this racket?" Ben asked with a grin on his face.

  Ali sat down on the sofa opposite of him, and shook her head.

  "I figured if you were anything like your mother, you wouldn't like this storm, especially up in that attic room," Ben said, chuckling. "Your mother used to sleep on the sofa during storms like this. Of course, that was at the lodge. We were living there, then."

  "We don't have storms like this in California," Ali said in her defense. "It just startled me. I suppose I'll get used to them."

  "Well now, I can't blame you. Couldn't blame Jen, either. I'm sure the rain and wind is much louder upstairs than down here. It would scare anyone. Jen's bedroom was in the loft room at the lodge. She loved being up high, looking down at everyone. She said it was like living in a bird's nest. She just didn't like it much during a storm."

  Ali cocked her head. "Loft room? I didn't know there was an upstairs in the lodge."

  Ben nodded. "Yep. Where did you think those steps in the living room led to?"

  Ali shrugged. "I didn't really think about it. I suppose I thought it was an attic room."

  "Well, it kind of is. Jo doesn't use it for a bedroom, never has. She stores stuff up there. As a matter of fact, some of your mother's stuff is stored up there still. Lizzie boxed up some of the important things she thought Jen might want someday and left them up there."

  Ali's eyes grew wide. "You kept some of my mother's stuff?"

  "Yep. I'm not sure what all is there. Some photo albums, I suppose. School yearbooks, mementos, that sort of thing. Maybe even a few of her favorite books and stuff." Ben looked over at Ali. "You seem surprised. Why?"

  The thunder continued to rumble above them as the rain pelted against the windows. Ali studied her grandfather, the flickering oil lamp casting shadows across him and around the room. He didn't look ang
ry, just curious.

  "I guess I just figured that when you threw her out of the house, you probably got rid of all her things, too," Ali said.

  Ben sat straight up in his chair and stared hard at Ali. "Threw her out? Who said I threw her out of the house? Did your mother tell you that?"

  "No," Ali said, crossing her arms. "I told you, Mom never talked about you or living here. I just figured she was thrown out for being pregnant with me because we never came to visit, and you and grandma never came to see us."

  Ben sat forward in his chair. "I never threw your mother out. Never. We had words, yes, and I'm not proud of some of the things I said to her, but I never told her to leave. She had gone up to her room after we fought and the next morning, when I went up to talk to her and tell her that we'd make it all work out, she was gone. She'd left in the middle of the night in her car, and we had no idea where she'd gone."

  Ali frowned. She'd always thought her mother had been told not to come home because she was unmarried and pregnant. Because of her. "Then why didn't you go after her? Why didn't you try to find her?"

  Ben sighed and sat back in his chair. "I did. It took a while, but I tracked her down and found her in California. You had already been born, and Jen was living in a small apartment and was working as a secretary in an office. I asked her to come home so we could help her, but she refused. She said she'd already started a new life and didn’t want to come back. She told me to never come see her again. So, that was the end of it. I didn't."

  Ali heard the sadness in her grandfather's voice and she felt sorry for him. He was a man who was used to getting his own way, but he couldn't control his own daughter. The daughter he had loved so dearly that he'd called her "my Jen".

  Ben looked over at Ali. "I never meant for her to leave or stay away. I've paid for it over and over again for the past seventeen years, believe me. But I never sent her away. I couldn't have done that. She was my Jen."