Bound To Be Dead: Cozy Mystery Bookshop Series Book 3

by Tamra Baumann

  As the parents and kids all look at the money with perplexed expressions, Madge drags me through the front door. When we’re on the porch, I stop. “What happened in there?”

  “Nothing.” Madge looks both ways. “We should hurry, though. The cops could be here any second.” She hops down the front steps and heads for The Blue Hippo.

  “Cops?” Coop and I catch up with Madge, and I snag her arm to make her stop. “What did you do?”

  Madge holds up her hands. “It works in the movies. You flash a fake badge, discreetly slide the money across the counter, and ask your question. The bribe-ee then takes the cash, stuffs it into their pocket, and spills. It’s all a win-win. No reason to get all bent out of shape. Sheesh.”

  I close my eyes and count to five before saying, “Why did you give those kids the money?”

  Madge frowns. “To get rid of the evidence, of course.”

  That makes zero sense. “Hand over the badge.” I hold out my palm.

  Madge huffs out a breath, then slaps the wallet in my hand.

  “Thank you.” I’ll toss it in the next trash can I see. “Now how about we do things my way at The Blue Hippo. Please?”

  “Fine.” Madge turns and starts stomping away. “I panic a bit, and now I’m the bad guy for giving little kids money?”

  Again, that makes no sense except for the panic part. And now I’ve offended her. I feel bad about that. But we still don’t know if we’re going to be arrested, for goodness’ sake!

  Madge stops in front of the restaurant and points to the wooden dining deck. “Pattie claims she saw the mayor and Tina eating as she approached the restaurant. So that means they must’ve been sitting near the street, overlooking the ocean.”

  I study the deck. “I see what you mean. From down here, there are only a few tables in view. Let’s see if we can grab that empty table in the middle. Maybe we’ll get lucky and get one of the servers they had.”

  Madge, Cooper, and I head for the stairs to claim the empty table along the railing. I grab the fake badge from my pocket and toss it in the bin at the bottom of the staircase.

  Madge eyes the badge longingly, so I say, “Don’t even think about it.”

  “But that cost me twenty-five bucks!”

  We start up the steps. “And panic-bribing those kids cost you another sixty.”

  “It was for a good cause.” Madge sniffs. “But now I’m broke, so you can buy lunch.”

  “Deal.” I bite my lip so I won’t say anything else, and get on with the long climb.

  The busy café is mostly filled with what looks like tourists. Casually dressed, phones out taking ocean shots, hats, sunglasses, and tell-tale pale skin. A few other groups also have dogs, each at their family’s feet and with metal water bowls that sport hippos on the side, proving it’s a dog-friendly place.

  Madge glances around. “On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t sit in such a visible spot on account of the cops might be looking for us.”

  I shake my head. “We’ll have to take our chances. This is where Tina sat. We don’t need two strikeouts today.”

  Madge mumbles, “It could be three strikes and we’re out if the cops catch us. But we’ll do things your way.”

  Ignoring Madge, I claim our table. Before we can hang our purses on the back of our chairs, a tall blond guy wearing a Blue Hippo T-shirt greets us.

  “Hi, ladies, and adorable dog.” He kneels to pet Cooper but keeps his eyes locked on mine and Madge’s. “Welcome to The Blue Hippo. I’m Dean, and I’ll be your server today.” He stands and beams a gorgeous smile. His tanned skin and wave-tossed sandy hair give him a dreamy surfer look. “May I bring your dog some water and a treat?”

  Before I can answer, Madge bats her eyelashes and says, “Cooper would just love that, Dean. Thank you so much.”

  Someone has a little crush on our server.

  Dean is a few steps away, so I whisper, “Down, girl. We’re working here. Remember?”

  Madge nods, but her eyes are focused on Dean. He’s stopped to talk with another server and providing Madge an impressive view of his other side too. Dean must spend a fair amount of time in the gym.

  Dean turns to study us. His friendly smile has faded, and his forehead furrows. He continues to eye us as he grabs his cell and dials.

  My stomach takes a dive. Something’s not right here.

  Madge gasps. “That family with the girls is standing right below us on the street!”

  I lean over, and sure enough, there they are. And they’ve seen us. “We’ve been made. Let’s go!” I grab the leash and my purse and head for the stairs, confident Madge is behind by the clomping of her heavy shoes.

  Our feet have just hit the concrete by the trash bin, where I threw away the evidence, when a cop appears before us and says, “Ladies? I need a word, please.”

  A word? There’s only one word that comes to my mind: busted!

  Chapter 11

  My heart is pounding so hard, I’m sure the policeman standing before Madge and me can see the fear pulsing in my neck. “What can we do for you?” I ask.

  His eyes lock with mine and then Madge’s. “I understand you were just in the B and B next door?”

  We both nod like bobblehead dolls. I can’t speak for Madge, but my mouth has gone as dry as cotton, making it impossible to talk.

  “Then come with me, please.” The cop, whose name tag reads B. Williams holds out his hand toward the street.

  Madge cuts her eyes toward the trash can with the fake badge inside, so I nudge her in the ribs to make her stop. I don’t want the cop looking in there too. Mostly because I don’t want anything to do with an impersonating-a-policeman charge.

  She visibly swallows and then gives me a little nod before she heads toward the street with me right behind. I half expect the barrel of a gun to poke me in the back any second. Is the policeman taking us to his squad car? Or maybe he’s going to march us to the station for booking?

  My mind races with bad scenarios as we round the corner and nearly bump into the family from the B and B. One of the kids points and says, “There they are, Mama.”

  Great. Now the cop will have more witnesses to Madge’s charade.

  The cop stops and smiles at the pointing little girl. “Do you want to give it to them?” He hands something to the little kid.

  Give us what?

  I glance at Madge, who looks as confused as I am.

  The little girl sticks out her hand toward Madge. “Thank you, but we’re not allowed to take money from strangers.” She places the twenties into Madge’s outstretched hand.

  The father says, “I hope you understand.”

  I nod. “Absolutely.” Relief nearly buckles my knees. The family must’ve seen us on the deck and asked the cop to return the cash.

  The father shakes hands with Officer Williams and then hustles his family away.

  The cop smiles at Madge. “You ladies have a nice lunch now.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but only a relieved squeak comes out. Madge finally says, “You too. Thanks!”

  Madge grabs my arm and pulls me back to the trash can at the bottom of the restaurant’s steps. “See? You got all worked up for nothing.” Madge’s hand dips inside the trash can to retrieve her fake badge.

  “Nope.” I grab her offending hand and tug her up the long staircase with me. “And now that you got your money back, you’re buying lunch!”

  “Fine.” By the time we reach the top, Madge is gasping for air. “Geez, Sawyer. Are you trying to kill me here?”

  More like punish her. Her antics scared me half to death. “Just burning some calories for this fine lunch you’re going to buy me.” Our former table is still empty, so I head that way.

  Madge clomps behind me and grumbles, “You used to be a whole lot more fun. You’re wound a bit tight these days.”

  She isn’t wrong. Not much is going right in my life now, and I might be taking it out on her.

  “I’m sorry.” I han
g my purse on the back of my chair and take a seat. “I’m nervous about meeting Brittany’s mother later. And worried about my father. Let’s see if we can find out anything to help get him off the hook.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Madge picks up a menu and studies it. “I’m tempted by the fish and chips, but my hips are telling me I better stick to the boring grilled salmon salad.”

  I smile. “How about we split the fish and chips? Then we can be bad and good at the same time.”

  “Logical.” Madge slaps her menu down just as our server approaches with treats for Cooper. “Well, hi, Dean. Sorry for the interruption.” Madge’s grin turns enormous.

  “No worries.” He sets the water dish and treats beside Cooper. “I’m glad Bob found you. Have we decided what we’re having today, ladies?” He turns to me and shines that megawatt grin.

  It’s impossible to resist matching his big smile. “We’d like to split number fifteen, please, and we’d both like iced tea to drink.”

  “Great choice. I caught the fish myself this morning.” Dean slaps his order pad shut. “Be right back with your drinks.” He turns and walks away.

  Madge leans across the table and whispers, “He said he caught the fish. Do you think he’s the head chef here?”

  “Doubt it.” I place our menus back into their stand and straighten the salt and pepper shakers. “It’s tough to cook and serve at the same time.”

  “Makes sense.” Madge searches for Dean again. “Here, he comes. What’s the interrogation plan?” Madge’s eyes twinkle with their usual mischief.

  “Leave that to me, smitten kitten.”

  Madge tries to look offended but gives up. “I may be married, but I’m not dead.”

  “Clearly.” I glance up at Dean as he puts our glasses in front of us. “Thank you. Can I ask you a question?” I pull out my cell and find Pattie’s picture. “Does she look familiar to you? She comes here often on Saturdays with a guy I think is her business partner. I’m trying to find them for an event.”

  Dean wipes his hands on the towel at his waist and then takes the phone. “Oh, sure. Pattie.” Dean sighs. “She always offers to cut my hair for free. Thinks it’s too long.”

  His recognition fills me with joy. “Did you happen to see her and her friend last Saturday?”

  “Nope.” He hands my phone back. “But my sister might have. We help our parents out around here on the weekends during the slower winter months.”

  That would explain why Dean caught the fish. It must be a family-owned restaurant. “Is your sister here today?”

  Dean nods. “I’ll send Nat out with your fish.” Dean turns and talks to the family at the table next to ours.

  Madge takes a drink of her tea. “Very smooth. You just jumped right in there. He didn’t even question it.”

  “Dylan taught me that.” I squeeze some lemon into my glass and stir. “He said if you ask a question like you have a right to know, people who aren’t guilty rarely ask why.”

  “Huh.” Madge frowns. “I’ll have to try that next time. Speaking of Dylan, he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink last ni—”

  I hold my hand up to cut her off. “It’s just going to make me sad to think about him right now. That he broke up with me makes me worry even more that he might have something on my dad.” I still don’t understand why he felt we had to be completely shut off. We could’ve just agreed to avoid talking about police business, as far as I’m concerned.

  “Sure. I get it.” Madge drinks some more tea and then pets Cooper. “But you know he’s annoyingly by the book. It’s what makes him the best sheriff we’ve ever had.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I’m probably overreacting.”

  Madge smiles. “Or just missing him.”

  That too.

  Before I can respond, a woman who is an even prettier version of Dean appears at our table. It must be Nat. “Hi, ladies. Fish and chips for two?”

  Madge nods. “Thank you. This looks amazing!” She takes the extra dish and starts splitting the entrée.

  Nat glances at me. “Dean said you had a question about Pattie?”

  “Yes. I wonder if she and her friend have been here recently? I hear they come on the weekends often.”

  Nat nods her head. “But I wouldn’t expect them this weekend. They’re here every other weekend. Dean always asks me to take Pattie’s table for him.”

  Madge stops mid fish pass. “Why?”

  Nat grins. “She makes him uncomfortable, always telling him he should model to make extra money for college. I think it’s funny how she gets under his skin. But then, I’m Dean’s evil twin, so I take great joy in his pain.”

  “Naturally.” Still chuckling, I ask, “Can you tell me what Pattie’s partner looks like so I’ll recognize him if we see him around? We’ve only met Pattie.”

  Nat shrugs. “Pretty average. Brown hair, middle-aged, dad gut, wears dad golf clothes, tips pretty well.”

  Darn it. That could be anyone. But he’s not bald, so it’s not my uncle, Pattie is seeing. And no one famous enough for Nat to recognize, so that wouldn’t be a reason to keep him a secret. Being married still fits.

  Madge slides my plate in front of me. “Nat, do you get the impression that Pattie and what’s his name are dating? We aren’t sure we want to work with a couple.”

  Nat blinks at Madge. “What work do you do?”

  Madge sputters, “We’re…ah…sex therapists.” Her face turns three shades of red.

  “And you don’t work with couples?” Confusion crinkles Nat’s face.

  “She’s joking.” I kick Madge’s leg under the table. “I’m a chef, and Madge helps me out sometimes. Madge thought it’d be rude to mention that in another restaurant.” Great. Now we’ve lost Nat’s trust. It’s written all over her face.

  “Okay. Well, I have to get back to work. Good luck with getting Pattie’s catering gig.” Nat shakes her head and starts to leave but stops. “The guy’s golf clothes might help you find them. The logo is weird. Like Mr. Clean with his arms crossed. I only noticed because I’m an art major. Enjoy your meal.”

  Bingo. That’s my uncle’s new golf course’s logo. Pattie is most likely seeing someone from Sunset Cove. That’s why she’s so secretive. And it’s someone who probably only plays golf every other weekend.

  I’m hanging on for dear life in Madge’s VW as we make our way back home. “Do golfers have to make reservations to play? Or can you just show up?”

  Madge frowns. “I don’t know. But if they have to make advance arrangements, they might have a reservation book like Pattie uses in her beauty shop. Call the clubhouse and find out.”

  “Already on it.” I’ve dug my phone from my purse and am looking for the golf course’s website. It’s a nice distraction from the Pacific Ocean looming right below my door every time Madge gets too close to the edge of the road.

  I find the website, and a big red button says to press it for tee time reservations. “Huh. Reservations are automated. I guess my uncle has joined the current century and does it all online. There’s even an app to monitor start times.”

  Madge downshifts before a big curve. “That’s good for him, but probably bad for us. It would’ve been much easier to distract someone long enough to look at the reservation book.”

  “That would’ve been an excellent plan, Inspector Clouseau, but I have a better one. When I was trying to find out who shot a golf ball through my store’s window, a high school friend helped me out. He works in my uncle’s pro shop. We can just ask him.”

  Madge chuckles. “That’ll work too.”

  I go back to checking out the website’s tee time page. The screen has two blue buttons. One for members and one for the public reservations. It states members get priority tee times. And that they encourage groups of four golfers. “Luckily, it looks like all we have to do is find a foursome of golfers who play every other weekend. And we know this weekend Pattie is in Sunset Cove. Should be a piece of cake.”


  “Let’s hope. Want me to drop you back at the store or at your house?”

  My stomach clenches at the thought of the meeting with Brittany’s mother and boyfriend we’re about to have. “My house, please.”

  “You want me to stay?” Madge’s hand covers mine on my lap. “For moral support?”

  I would, but she needs to get back to work. “Thank you, but Gage is coming to help. He said he asked the boyfriend for proof of the adoption money. He’s also bringing some guardianship paperwork.”

  Madge whispers, “In case Brittany leaves with them?”

  I nod. “They’ll need the paperwork if Brittany gets sick. And to start a new school. I’m still Brittany’s legal guardian of record.” And I hope that’ll never change, but doubts are creeping in. Especially the way Brittany has been so quiet the last few days.

  Madge pulls into my driveway and turns toward me. “You can always tell Brittany no. You’re the boss of her until she’s eighteen. It’s what your mom wanted.”

  Great. Mom guilt. That’s all I need. “Saying no would’ve probably worked with you and your kids when they were fifteen.” I grab Coop’s leash and pack up my stuff. “I’ve been Brittany’s guardian for all of about six months. I don’t pull the same weight you do. But I’m not signing anything permanent. Gage assures me it’s only a month-to-month temporary pass of power.”

  “Well, thank goodness for that. If you need to talk after, I’m here for you.”

  “Thank you.” My heart swells with love for Madge. She’s turned out to be a good friend.

  After I haul Cooper and me out of the little car, I stick my head back inside. “I’ll call you later and let you know how it went. Wouldn’t want you to expire from curiosity.”

  “Appreciate it. Good luck!” Madge waves and then pulls out of the drive.

  Gage’s sports car is parked out front on the street behind another vehicle I don’t recognize. Am I late? It’s only two fifteen, and we were supposed to meet at three.