Dark of the Moon

by Rachel Hawthorne

  The fine hairs on my arms prickled as I gazed at the rapidly flowing river. It was possible someone had been rafting and pulled over here to set up camp for the night. Farther down the river was a series of tight curves and turbulent white water. It was great for sports enthusiasts, but they were usually accompanied by a guide who would turn them back before they traveled this far north, this close to Wolford.

  It seemed paranoid to have a bad feeling about what I'd discovered, but I couldn't help sensing that something wasn't right. Very slowly and cautiously, I walked around the camp, noting the various boot prints that had been left behind. I could identify four distinct sets. It was also obvious that they'd arrived and left by the river. I discovered a groove in the bank where their rubber raft would have scraped along the ground as they pulled it onto shore.

  On the opposite side of the camp, I noticed an area where it looked as though evidence of prints had been brushed away with a leafy branch. The brush marks stopped near dense foliage. Grabbing a large stick, I began poking it around the brush. I heard the snap as I triggered a release mechanism that I'd suspected was hidden in there. The stick was jerked from my hand as the noose closed around it and the rope swung it up in the air, until it dangled high above my head, the branches shuddering with the force of being set loose.

  A snare trap. One of the simplest traps to set. Still dangerous. Still capable of killing an animal—but it was also possible the animal would survive being slung around as it was lifted from the ground. Judging by the setup, it had been designed to capture a medium-sized animal. Not a rabbit. Not a bear. But a wolf.

  A cold shiver raced down my spine as I backed away. I'd bet my life that I knew who was responsible. It wasn't game hunters, sportsmen, or survivalists.

  It was Bio-Chrome. Our enemy. They were stepping up their efforts to capture a Shifter and they were getting closer to discovering Wolford.

  I had to get back quickly. I had to warn them. And I hoped I wasn't too late.

  I felt a sense of relief when I finally arrived at Wolford to see the main residence still standing. I saw no evidence of violence. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

  Because I'd originally been two days away from Wolford, and because I'd been dragging my feet in no hurry to get back— until I discovered the trap—it was nearly midnight the next night when I finally reached the wrought iron gate that surrounded the compound. A couple of hundred years ago, most of the Shifters had lived here, hidden away from the rest of the world. But as the world had begun to change with modernization and industrialization, they'd moved out among humans—benefiting from and contributing to achievements. Still this forest remained our true home—the one place where we could be ourselves and celebrate what we were.

  I slipped a keycard into the slot and the gate clicked open. It seemed strange to me that we were a combination of the old and modern. We used keycards for access, but we still believed in the ancient ritual of guys declaring their mates. Go figure.

  After walking through, I stood there while the gate clanked shut, its sound reverberating through me. I'd always found solace here. No enemy had ever penetrated our walls. Here, tradition was passed down from one generation to the next. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to draw in the calm of my ancestors. But I felt unwelcome, as though I were a stranger or worse, a fake.

  I wished my mother was here. I didn't often need her. I'd always wanted to be independent, so it was difficult now to admit that I yearned to have her arms around me. I'd felt relief when she'd left for Europe because I'd known she wouldn't be around to interfere. I hadn't thought I'd be able to put up with her hovering and worrying. I loved Mom, but she was a hoverer. Always trying to protect me. I'd become somewhat rebellious just to break free of her emotional restraints. I knew she meant well, but sometimes I felt as though she were smothering me.

  As for my father, he'd always been a no-show in my life. Apparently he'd seen my mother through her transformation, hung around long enough to knock her up, then taken a hike to parts unknown. She had managed quite well without a man in her life—which was the reason that I'd been convinced that I hadn't needed a guy for my transformation.

  I walked toward the massive mansion that was pretty much all that remained of what we'd once had here. Oh, there were a few buildings around that held supplies and various survival items, but when our kind visited Wolford, they stayed in this mammoth Gothic-like structure where families had once enjoyed a communal-like existence. It had been refurbished to include all the modern conveniences. Our elders lived here throughout the year.

  Hidden away in the national forest, it provided us with a sanctuary. The Dark Guardians worked as forest guides—otherwise known as sherpas—and kept people away from the secret areas of the forest that we considered off-limits to outsiders. Although really, we considered the entire forest as ours, even though the government had claimed part of it.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement and dropped into a defensive crouch, my actions honed by hours of survival training. To my surprise, I saw Connor heading toward a thick copse of trees in the distance. Although his back was to me, I recognized his loose-hipped stride. He walked as though he was never in a hurry to get anywhere. The moonlight reflected off his sandy blond hair and outlined his well-toned body. He was tall and slender, but I knew he possessed the strength of all Shifters. We not only hid our ability to shift, but the power that came with it. Looking at us, few people realized how strong and capable we were.

  As Connor disappeared between the trees, I wondered why he was alone. Where was Lindsey? Usually a couple became totally inseparable after they shared a shifting. Could there possibly be trouble in paradise?

  I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that. As much as I'd wanted Connor to notice me, to claim me, and go through the transformation with me, I didn't want Lindsey to treat him badly. Neither did I want him to hurt Lindsey. She was a friend. I selfishly wanted Connor and unselfishly wished them the best. My confused and contradictory feelings left me unsettled. As a rule, I usually knew what I wanted.

  I glanced around quickly. No one else was in sight. I should let Connor go, but I'd never felt so alone or devastated in my life. I needed to connect with someone. Why not him? Just for a few minutes. It wasn't like I was going to ask him to cheat on Lindsey. I had standards. I didn't steal another girl's guy—but that didn't mean I couldn't talk to him and get my Connor-fix.

  After hiking since the full moon, I was gritty and dirty. Normally I would have taken the time to clean up because I never wanted Connor to see me at my worst, but I didn't want to miss this opportunity to talk with him alone. Maybe because even though he didn't feel a connection to me, I felt one to him. I was pathetic to be crushing on a guy, knowing he cared for someone else, but at that moment, I couldn't quench my desire to hear his voice.

  I tossed my backpack toward the side of the house and raced in the direction I'd last seen Connor. The dew-covered grass left a clear trail, but once I hit the woods, he wasn't as easy to follow. The grass wasn't thick around the trees and the moonlight filtered in sparingly between the leaves. If I'd shifted, I'd have been able to capture his scent and follow it. All senses heightened after the first transformation. Shifters acquired keen night vision and enhanced smell, hearing, and taste. Even their skin became more sensitive.

  All I had to go on was my gut instinct, so I simply kept moving forward and hoped he'd done the same. He might not be my mate, but we were friends. And right now, I needed a friend. Desperately.

  The woods were never totally quiet at night and I drew comfort from the familiar sounds. The insects chirped. An owl hooted. I heard some tiny creature, probably a rodent, stirring up the dried leaves that coated the ground. But I couldn't hear any footsteps other than mine. I wondered if Connor had shifted, if he'd taken off. But I didn't see his clothes lying around.

  The trees finally gave way to a brook where the shallow water splashed over rocks, creating nature's lulla
by. Standing at the bank's edge, as still as a statue, was Connor.

  My heart gave a little lurch, the way it always did when I first got near him. Sometimes when we were packing up supplies, getting ready to guide campers out into the wilderness, our shoulders would brush and it was like an arrow zinging through me, from shoulder to toes. Insane, I know, to be so affected by his nearness. It hurt that we'd never be more than friends, that he would for ever belong to someone else.

  If I was smart, I'd turn around, head back to the mansion, and get on with my life. Obviously I didn't possess an ounce of intelligence because I strode forward until I was standing beside him. He didn't look at me. He just kept staring at the water.

  I had so much that I wanted to tell him, so much that I couldn't explain, things I didn't want him to know. Still, a calmness settled over me as I studied the outline of his familiar profile in the moonlight. His features contained a ruggedness that I associated with warriors. The strength in his jaw line was almost obscured by his shaggy blond hair that hung down to his collar. I wanted to run my hands through it. I desperately wanted to loosen my braid and have him comb his fingers through the heavy strands of my own hair. I wanted to press my face into the curve of his shoulder and have his strong arms come around me. I wanted so much that I couldn't have. I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to settle for friendship now that I knew he was totally and completely beyond my reach.

  "Guess you heard," he finally muttered, and I heard the hardness in his voice.

  Connor was seldom quick to anger, but I'd seen his fury when we discovered that human scientists working for Bio-Chrome had found out about our existence and were determined to use us for their own gain. Connor believed we'd somehow come out victorious, that life could miraculously return to normal. Or what was normal for us.

  But now his anger-laced words caused horrible scenarios to rush through my mind. Had Bio-Chrome captured Lindsey? Was the trap I'd discovered only one of many? Had they killed her? Was that the reason that Connor was alone? Was he in mourning? Or had she not transformed? Had something been wrong with the moon? For the first time in days, I grasped tightly to a miniscule of hope that the full moon—and not me—had been the aberration.

  "Heard what?" I asked quietly.

  Then I noticed the white bandage peering out beneath the sleeve of his T-shirt. We didn't often sport bandages. In wolf form, Shifters could heal amazingly fast—unless the wound had been inflicted by silver or the bite of another lycanthrope. Then the process took forever and left a scar. Our healing abilities were one of the things that made us attractive to Bio-Chrome. Even in the heat of battle only the worst of wounds could slow us down, because we continued to heal, providing us with a living sort of armor.

  "You're hurt," I whispered, and in spite of my best intentions, I reached out and trailed my fingers near the bandage. I felt his firm muscles quiver and ripple beneath my touch. I'd never deliberately touched him. His skin was smooth and warm. I wanted to know the feel of his face, his neck, his chest…I wanted to know what everything about him felt like.

  "Rafe." He said the one word as though it should explain everything.

  Rafe was a Dark Guardian, part of our pack, part of our sherpa team. He was as dark-haired, as dark-complexioned as me. He'd grown up with us, fought beside us against our enemies. He was as loyal to our kind as any of us. "Rafe bit you?"

  Connor snorted, and I could sense the anger now rolling off him in waves. "I bit him back. Wish I had rabies. It would serve him right."

  "I don't understand, Connor. Where's Lindsey? What happened?"

  "Rafe challenged me for her."

  "What? You mean wolf to wolf?" A challenge was never made lightly. Tradition had it that when one wolf challenged another, it was a fight to the death.

  "Yeah."

  "Oh my God' But you're her mate. You declared her; she accepted you." It was always the girl's right to not choose the guy who had declared her his mate. But I'd never known it to happen. "You've been together for as long as—"

  "Yeah, well, apparently I chose wrong."

  He continued to look forward, as though he were embarrassed, or maybe he just didn't want me to see in his eyes the depth of his rejection and loss. I knew he was hurting. It was evident in every muscle of his body. He'd always loved Lindsey. Would it make him feel any better if I told him that I loved him? I didn't think so. I couldn't replace what he'd thought he lost.

  "I'm sorry." And I was. This was exactly what I'd always wished for, but now that it had happened—I felt guilty, as though my wishing for it had somehow made it happen, had brought him this pain.

  "Not your fault. It's just the way it is, but it's still hard to swallow, you know?"

  "I know."

  He turned his head to look at me directly. Even with the moonlight I couldn't see the blue of his eyes that were a shade darker than mine, but what I could see surprised me. He wasn't sad. He looked as though he was disgusted with himself. Then he shook it off, as though he didn't want to reveal so much. What replaced it surprised me even more. I saw admiration. "I see you survived your full moon. I can't believe you took off on your own. That took guts. I mean, no one has ever doubted your courage, but what you did went above and beyond."

  Guilt gnawed at me because he was praising me when I so didn't deserve it. I wanted to tell him the truth. The burden of what I was—or wasn't—was so hard to bear but I was afraid he'd be appalled by the reality of what I was. How could he not be?

  We had never, ever, allowed a non-Shifter into our inner circle. Standing there I was confused about what I truly was: a Shifter who somehow the moon had passed by but would return for later or someone who would never be anything more than she was at that precise moment.

  If it was the latter, what was the point in existing at all? How could I protect the Shifters if I wasn't one of them? But I couldn't turn my back on them either.

  I eased away from him and stared at the water, the way the moon reflected off it and made it prettier than it was during the day. "It was no big deal." Especially since nothing happened.

  "Hey, like all guys, I went through it alone. It's brutal."

  "I don't want to talk about it. It was a totally private experience."

  "Got it."

  I didn't know why I was disappointed by his response. I guessed I wanted him to care enough to prod the truth out of me.

  "Did you know Lindsey liked Rafe?" he asked.

  "She mentioned him a couple of times." It had always irritated me when she did. If Connor had been mine, I'd have never even looked at another guy. My voice had a hard edge when I said, "I never thought she appreciated you. You're better off without her."

  He barked out his harsh laughter. "Typical Brittany. You're never afraid to say what you're thinking. I've always admired that about you."

  If I'd died right at that moment, I would have died happy. Connor had admitted that he admired something about me? Me? I felt like smiling and laughing when I hadn't thought I'd ever again feel like doing either. I wanted to tell him that there was a lot about him that I liked and admired but the moment wasn't right.

  While I didn't say anything, silence settled in between us and other communication was going on. We were gazing into each other's eyes, and I wondered if he was seeing me—truly seeing me—for maybe the first time. He seemed lost in thought—and I wished I could read his mind. I tried not to let my eyes reflect the depth of feelings I held for him. I was still a little too vulnerable from the moon's betrayal to risk my heart with Connor at that moment. But I wasn't afraid to meet his gaze, to hold it. Then his gaze dropped to my lips and they began to tingle. Was he thinking about kissing me?

  As much as I wanted him to, I didn't want him to kiss me until he was over Lindsey. I wasn't going to serve as a rebound girl. Still, I seemed unable to stop myself from licking my lips, from anticipating a kiss, from imagining how warm and wonderful it would be.

  As though coming out of a trance, Connor gave his he
ad a little shake before he dropped it back and stared at the night sky. "I need to run." His voice was raspy, sexy. He cleared his throat. "So, do you want to run with me?"

  Oh, I wanted to, desperately. But I knew he wasn't talking about jogging through the forest. He was talking about shifting and running so fast that the trees would become a blur.

  "Facing the full moon alone took a lot out of me," I said. That much at least was true. "I'm going to pass."

  "Another time then." He looked back at me. "I remember when I faced my first transformation. I couldn't wait, but I also remember the pain. The elders would have found someone else to go through it with you if you didn't like Daniel."

  "They drew his name out of a hat." I didn't bother to hide my disgust.

  "It wasn't like that. They used a bowl."

  I pounded my fist into his shoulder.

  "Ouch'" He rubbed his arm, but he was smiling.

  "It was insulting—to me and Daniel." He wasn't a bad guy, but he wasn't the right one either. We'd spent a few days together, but we'd both known it was a lost cause. "I didn't want a pity mate."

  "You've got the wrong attitude about it. It's not like you had to marry the guy. He was just supposed to help you get through it. Nothing more."

  Except for the whole getting-naked part. We couldn't transform in our clothes. So there was a definite intimacy factor. "It's all moot now. The pressure is off. I can choose a mate anytime."

  "It'll never be like the first time you shift."

  I shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, the first time is overrated."

  His grin flashed in the night. "Well, don't tell anyone. Don't want to ruin the mystique for the others who haven't yet experienced it." Something shifted in his eyes that I couldn't quite identify. "I'm glad you survived."