by Brett Weiss
High Speed is based on Williams’ police
phisticated title screen, and better, more col-
chase-themed pinball machine of the same
orful graphics. Also released for the Game Boy.
name (1985), which takes place on the Santa
Similar to: Dr. Mario, Puyo Puyo, Columns, and Monica freeway. The NES rendition adds a
Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine.
number of features to the formula, including
a lightning bomb weapon and the following en-
Heavy Barrel
emies: acid patch; water puddle; tumbleweed
PUBLISHER: Data East. DEVELOPER: Data East.
(picks up the ball and drops it between the flip-
Overhead View Free-Roaming Shooter, 1 or 2
pers); rust balls (dissolves the flipper mount-
players (simultaneous). 1990.
ing); heli-bombs; manic mechanic (stuns and
Heavy Barrel for the NES lacks the rotary
destroys the ball); magnetic helicopter (carries
control of the visually sharper arcade original
the ball off the playfield); and barriers. In addi-
(Data East, 1987), meaning players can only fire
tion, there are two bonus games: Pachinko and
in the direction they are moving. Gameplay re-
Race. Players can shake the playfield left and
mains a blast, however, with players running
right, and the screen scrolls to always show the
around seven different levels (including a
ball and splits to always show the flippers. In-
quarry, a maze of stairways, and a weapons as-
cludes voice effects.
sembly area), using such weapons as guns,
grenades, and a flamethrower to blow away ter-
Hogan’s Alley
rorists, tanks, helicopters, bunker doors, gun
PUBLISHER: Nintendo. DEVELOPER: Nintendo.
turrets, and other enemies and obstacles. Find-
Light Gun Shooter, 1 player. 1985.
ing keys lets players open six different storage
Hogan’s Alley has players pointing the
lockers containing pieces of a special Heavy
Nintendo Zapper gun at the screen, firing at
Barrel weapon.
targets. In game A, three panels appear in a row,
facing sideways. The three panels will then turn
Heavy Shreddin’
in unison, displaying a drawing of a person on
PUBLISHER: Parker Brothers. DEVELOPER: Imag-
each panel. Players should shoot the gangster
ineering. Sports/Snowboarding, 1 player. 1990.
panels (there are three types of gangsters) while
A precursor of sorts to such games as Cool
avoiding the lady, the professor, and the police-
Boarders (PlayStation) and SSX Tricky (Game-man. In game B, similar rules apply, but with
Cube, PS2, Xbox), Heavy Shreddin’ has players panels appearing in the windows of buildings
snowboarding down Poseur Peak, Scary Sum-
and around said buildings. Game C is Trick
mit, and Mt. Mortified, performing stunts (toe
Shot, in which spinning cans move from right
grab, hand-plant, mid-air 360, and mule-kick)
to left across the screen. Players must shoot the
and negotiating such obstacles as trees, cliffs,
cans to keep them from falling too far and to
ice ponds, rocks, tunnels, waterfalls, gates, semi
guide them to platforms of varying point values.
NINTENDO NES
99
A nice alternative to Duck Hunt, Hogan’s Alley is when the police arrive. Also released for the
was a system launch title and a precursor to
Game Boy, Game Gear, SNES, and Genesis.
such games as the Lethal Enforcers series. Based on Nintendo’s 1984 arcade game.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
PUBLISHER: THQ. DEVELOPER: Imagineering.
Hollywood Squares
Side-Scrolling Platform, 1 player. 1992.
PUBLISHER: GameTek. DEVELOPER: Rare. Game
Based on the 1992 feature film, Home
Show, 1 or 2 players (simultaneous). 1989.
Alone 2 finds Kevin McCallister once again sep-Despite a conspicuous absence of real
arated from his family, with “Wet Bandits”
celebrities, Hollywood Squares is a fun, easy-Marv and Harry in hot pursuit. Kevin must
to-play rendition of the classic TV game show
run, jump, duck, and ride elevators in such
(which is a cross of sorts between a trivia con-
New York locales as the Plaza Hotel, Central
test and tic-tac-toe). The playfield is a 3 × 3 grid
Park, and his uncle’s townhouse. Other activ-
of pseudo celebrities. When it’s the player’s
ities include dodging suitcases, finding keys to
turn, he or she must select a celebrity. That
open doors, scaling the Christmas tree at the
celebrity will be asked a question, and the
Rockefeller Center, and much more. To battle
player must decide whether or not the celebrity
enemies, Kevin can use darts, a sliding attack,
is giving the correct answer. If the player
and flying fists. Power-ups enable Kevin to ac-
guesses correctly, the space that celebrity occu-
quire extra lives, replenish power, perform a
pies will be filled with an X or an O. If a player
spin-jump attack, gain extra speed, jump
gets three Xs or Os in a row (horizontally, ver-
higher, and become invulnerable. Regrettably,
tically, or diagonally), he or she will win. The
poor controls ruin the entire experience. Also
fictional game show host (John Davidson, who
released for the Game Boy, SNES, and Genesis.
hosted the TV show from 1986 to 1989, is re-
grettably absent) and other characters blink,
Hook
smile, and turn their heads a bit, and the jokey
PUBLISHER: Sony Imagesoft. DEVELOPER: Ocean
answers to the questions are oftentimes very
Software. Side-Scrolling Platform, 1 or 2 play-
funny. Unfortunately, there are fewer than 500
ers (alternating). 1992.
questions, meaning repetition occurs fairly
Based on the 1991 fantasy film, Hook lets
often.
players guide Peter Pan through various areas
of Neverland (including forests, caves, under-
Home Alone
ground caverns, lagoons, and icy regions), each
PUBLISHER: THQ. DEVELOPER: Bethesda Soft-
of which contains items that Pan must collect
works. Side-Scrolling Platform, 1 player. 1991.
in order to complete the level. Throughout the
Characterized by glitch-ridden program-
adventure (which is tepid, boring, and poorly
ming, imprecise control (beginning a climb is
programmed), Pan will climb ladders and
especially unforgiving), and simple gameplay,
ropes, swim and fly past obstacles, jump on
Home Alone for the NES is based on the climax moving platforms, engage in swordfights with
of the 1990 blockbuster film. Unlike the movie
Rufio and Captain Hook, use a metal detector
ending, however, the two bad guys are already
to locate treasure, and call on Tink to help de-
in the house when the game begins. The player,
feat the pirates, spiders, penguin
s, banana-
as Kevin (portrayed by Macaulay Culkin in the
throwing monkeys, and other enemies. Also
film), must run around his house, setting traps
released for the Game Boy, Game Gear, Gene-
for Marv and Harry, who remain in hot pursuit.
sis, and SNES.
Each trap, be it a light bulb, a soda can, a water
balloon, or other such item, behaves the same,
Hoops
stalling the bumbling bandits for a few seconds.
PUBLISHER: Jaleco. DEVELOPER: Jaleco.
The objective is to avoid making contact with
Sports/Basketball, 1 or 2 players (simultane-
Marv and Harry for 20 real-time minutes, which
ous). 1989.
100
CLASSIC HOME VIDEO GAMES, 1985–1988
Despite close-up dunk animations, Hoops
Having to push boxes into place to reach cer-
largely ignores the aesthetic established by Dou-
tain areas adds minor puzzle elements to the
ble Dribble (arcade, NES). Rather, the game is game. To fend off enemies, Hawk can punch
a throwback to One-on-One, the old computer
and throw softballs. Like the movie itself, Hud-
title starring Dr. J. and Larry Bird. Viewed from
son Hawk for the NES was widely panned upon
above/behind the top of the key, Hoops features release. Also released for the Game Boy.
one-on-one and two-on-two street ball, with
players competing against one another or team-
The Hunt for Red October
ing up against the computer. There’s also a
PUBLISHER: Hi Tech Expressions. DEVELOPER:
nifty game of Around the World, the popular
Beam Software. Side-Scrolling Shooter, 1
shooting contest that is rarely seen in a video
player. 1991.
game. In addition, the game offers eight dis-
Unlike many movie-based games, which
tinctive characters, solid gameplay, and a vari-
incorporate a variety of genres and locations,
ety of foul calls. Hoops may be old fashioned, The Hunt for Red October is a simple side-but it’s a lot of fun.
scroller. Players, as Captain Marko Ramius,
pilot the Soviet Typhoon submarine Red Oc-
Hot Slots
tober through hazardous waters in hopes of
PUBLISHER: Panesian. DEVELOPER: Panesian.
reaching a U.S. port. The sub is equipped with
Gambling, 1 player. 1991.
the following: armor; Electronic Counter-Mea-
One of the most sought after games in the
sures (which act as decoys); upgradeable tor-
NES library, Hot Slots, like Peek-A-Boo Poker pedoes (for horizontal shooting); missiles (for
and Bubble Bath Babes, is an unlicensed adult vertical shooting); and caterpillar drive (for in-game from Panesian that is very hard to find.
visibility). In addition to shooting enemy ships,
The game features three different slot ma-
players must grab fuel and avoid walls. Com-
chines— Cutie Bunny, Juicy Fruit, and Las
pared to the 1990 film (or to most any other
Vegas— each of which is represented by a se-
shooter), this game is decidedly weak, plagued
ductive babe who flirts and takes her clothes
as it is by repetitious sounds, lousy graphics
off when the player wins lots of money. The di-
(which include backgrounds consisting of pur-
alogue is laughably bad, but makes humorous
ple bricks), and slow, frustrating gameplay.
use of such suggestively ambiguous words as
Adding insult to injury, the playfield only takes
“slot” and “cherry.”
up 2/3 of the screen. Also released for the Game
Boy and SNES, the latter version of which has
Hudson Hawk
missions and levels, including some that sup-
PUBLISHER: Sony Imagesoft. DEVELOPER: Ocean
port the Super Scope light rifle.
Software. Side-Scrolling Platform, 1 player.
1992.
Hydlide
Based on the 1991 box office bomb, Hud-
PUBLISHER: FCI. DEVELOPER: T&E Soft. Third-
Person Action Role-Playing Game, 1 player.
son Hawk puts players in the title role, which 1989.
was played by Bruce Willis in the movie. Hawk,
an ex-cat burglar, is blackmailed into stealing
The storyline for Hydlide, which revolves
priceless works of art from a heavily guarded
around Princess Ann being turned into three
auction house and from the Vatican. This in-
fairies, is as lame and as unimportant as the
volves: running across floors of the buildings;
game itself. Cast in the role of a brave young
jumping over obstacles and up to high places;
knight named Jim, players walk around an
crawling under electric eyes and through
overworld (forests, deserts, plains, and the like)
booby-trapped ventilation shafts; climbing lad-
and through caves (some of which are dark),
ders and ropes; riding platform lifts; dodging
leveling up by slaying goblins, wizards, drag-
bullets, steam, and guard dogs; going through
ons, zombies, vampire bats, and other enemies.
doors, windows, and laundry chutes; and more.
The limp, ill-conceived battle system has players
NINTENDO NES
101
holding down the A button and simply running
Ikari Warriors
into the various creatures. Holding down B (in
PUBLISHER: SNK. DEVELOPER: SNK. Vertical
conjunction with A) unleashes fire, ice, shock-
Scrolling Shooter, 1 or 2 players (simultane-
waves, and other magical attacks while pressing
ous). 1987.
neither button puts Jim in defend mode. Trea-
Despite a number of shortcomings (slow
sures to find during this ugly little adventure in-
characters, excessive usage of pink) and glitches
clude a sword of the brave, a shield of justice,
(including the possibility of getting stuck behind
immortal medicine, an eternal lamp, and more.
a wall), Ikari Warriors is a popular title for the Includes password feature. Followed by: Super
NES, thanks in part to unlimited continues and
Hydlide (Genesis) and Virtual Hydlide (Saturn).
explosive two-player action. Gamers, as Rambo-
style heroes Paul or Vince, must trudge through
Ice Climber
four overhead view levels of play (primarily jun-
PUBLISHER: Nintendo. DEVELOPER: Nintendo.
gles), firing a machine gun and throwing hand
Vertical Scrolling Platform, 1 or 2 players (si-
grenades at soldiers, snipers, tanks, rock faces,
multaneous). 1985.
and other enemies. For enhanced firepower,
Despite its title, Ice Climber is not a climb-gamers can occasionally hop into a tank (ala
ing game. Each of the game’s 32 mountains is
Front Line) or a helicopter. When compared to the a series of platforms consisting of small ice
faster, more playable Tradewest arcade game
blocks. To move upward and eventually to the
(1986), the NES rendition lacks rotary control
top of a mountain, players must jump into ice
and forced scrolling. The 7800 version lacks
these
blocks from below to create holes that can be
elements as well, but moves faster and has a more
jumped through. Enemies and obstacles to
reasonable level of difficulty. The NES game does
watch for include falling icicles, Toppies (which
have better graphics than its 7800 counterpart,
fill holes), Nitpicker birds (which can be de-
though both are missing certain details found in
feated with an ice hammer), and more. At the
the arcade game. Also released for the Atari 2600.
top of each mountain is a timed, vegetable-
gathering bonus round. The controls are a bit
Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road
clunky, but Ice Climber oozes with old-school PUBLISHER: SNK. DEVELOPER: SNK. Vertical
charms and challenges. A system launch title.
Scrolling Shooter, 1 or 2 players (simultane-
Also released for the Game Boy Advance.
ous). 1988.
After rescuing the colonel in the original
Ice Hockey
Ikari Warriors, Paul and Vince were trying to re-PUBLISHER: Nintendo. DEVELOPER: Nintendo.
turn home when they got zapped into the fu-
Sports/Hockey, 1 or 2 players (simultaneous).
ture, in which Zang Zip the War Dog has en-
1988.
slaved the people of Earth. Once again, Paul
More cartoonish and decidedly less vio-
and Vince must mow down bad guys (aliens in
lent than Konami’s popular Blades of Steel, Ice this case) with machine guns and grenades, but
Hockey for the NES lacks the one-on-one fight-they’ve added bazookas, boomerangs, and
ing of the aforementioned classic, but never-
swords to their arsenal. In addition, they can
theless gives players an entertaining, highly ac-
use landmines to blast through walls and rocks,
cessible rendition of the manly sport. Armchair
meaning players won’t get stuck like in the orig-
athletes can select from five game speeds, and
inal Ikari Warriors (NES version). Other new
they can form their own team by selecting the
features include: barshops (where players pur-
physical attributes (thin, fat, and average) of
chase thunder power, armor power, and other
their players. These attributes determine the
items); dark mirrors (for warping to bosses or
players’ shot strength and sticking, checking,
skeet shooting-style mini-games); and larger
and face-off abilities. Between periods, Zam-
characters (meaning Vince and Paul are bigger
boni machines drive across the ice (which is
targets). In comparison to Tradewest’s 1986 ar-