Something Like Perfect

by Stephens, S. C.

  We all looked around with her, and I kind of had to agree. Our favorite club was a little lackluster tonight. I guess that was what happened when you finished school on a Tuesday and chose to celebrate that fact. We probably should have waited until the actual graduation ceremony this weekend to go out, but my family wanted to take me somewhere special that night, and I didn’t really want to party with my parents. Or my sister and her . . . boyfriend. Too awkward. So tonight, we were partying it up, even though it was a Tuesday.

  “Okay, yeah, let’s head out. But not to a restaurant,” I said with a cringe. “I need a break from food for a while. Let’s go to a bar.”

  “Now you’re talking,” Alicia said, smacking the table.

  We gathered our things, then headed outside. Instantly, I knew we’d made the right decision; it was a relief to be away from the thumping music. When the club was packed and hopping, the music was fuel for the soul, urging the body to move. But when the club was sad and empty, it was just loud.

  We debated hailing a cab to get to our next destination, but across the street was our salvation—a sports bar. Perfect. Maybe there would be some football-crazed man in there who would help me forget about Jake, at least for a few hours.

  I pointed to it, then grabbed Steph’s hand, pulling her in that direction. The rest of the girls followed, and within minutes, we were opening the doors. Hopefully this place was a little more alive than the club, and it seemed to be from the outside—the street around it and its tiny parking lot were crammed full. When we got inside, I thought I understood why. The place was littered with TV screens, and all of them were showing various classic sports games. It was like the best of the best everywhere I looked. I wasn’t a huge sports fan, but I could appreciate the awesomeness.

  Unfortunately, the awesomeness meant there weren’t a lot of places for a group our size to sit. Luckily there was an empty round standing table next to the bar. I wasn’t thrilled to be standing all night, but then again, leaning against the table would give any man ogling me a pretty fabulous view of my backside. Man. I seriously needed a boyfriend, or at least a fling who would help me forget about . . . things.

  “I’ll get the first round,” Steph said. She twisted to face the bar, then turned back to us. “Hey, isn’t that . . . ?”

  She jerked her thumb over her shoulder, and we all twisted to look. Alicia grinned when she spotted who had gotten Steph’s attention. “Oh yeah, that’s him, all right. Kylie’s boy toy.”

  I immediately closed my eyes and hoped my friends were wrong. No, it couldn’t be Jake. Not here, not now. Cringing, I opened my eyes and studied the man at the bar. Sure enough, it was Jake sitting there. His back was to us, but we could clearly see his face in the mirror behind the bar.

  He was here, alone, at the place we’d randomly picked for celebrating. Why did fate keep tormenting me with something I couldn’t have? It’s time for a new surprise. Not the same one thrown at me again and again.

  “Oh,” Chloe said, pursing her lips. “While the cat’s away, the mouse will play.”

  I frowned at her assessment of him. Jake wasn’t like that. Shaking my head, I told her, “He’s not playing. He’s watching a game on TV and drinking a beer.”

  Chloe lifted her eyebrow at me. “At a bar, without Kylie.” As if to make her point, she added, “And isn’t that how they met? Him . . . alone at a bar? We should go over there and join him. Rescue him from any potential temptations.”

  Alicia’s grin grew. “Yes, definitely.”

  The two of them were already starting to walk that way when I reached out and grabbed Alicia’s arm. “Guys, let him be.”

  Alicia frowned at me as she indicated him with her hand. “He’s practically your brother-in-law. It would be rude to not go over there and say hello.” Her beaming grin returned, and she slipped away from me. Great. With a reluctant sigh, I moved away from the table and joined my friends.

  My heart began to pound as I approached Jake, and I wasn’t sure why I was getting so nervous. It wasn’t like I’d never talked to him before. It wasn’t like I was stepping up to him to ask him out . . . again. No, I was just saying hello—no big deal.

  Jake twisted his head when he felt people directly behind him. His pale-green eyes brightened when he saw me; then his smile widened. Everything about his face said he was very happy to see me, like I’d just made his day. That look hurt my heart a bit.

  “Hey, Jake,” I said, ignoring the ache his perfect face always gave me.

  “Valerie, hey. What are you doing here?” Before I could answer, he stood up and hugged me. My knees almost buckled, and I couldn’t answer him until he let me go and took a step back.

  “I, uh . . . the last day of school was today, so the girls wanted to take me out to celebrate.”

  I indicated my friends. Chloe and Steph waved. Alicia wriggled her fingers in greeting.

  Jake waved at them, looking much more at ease than I felt. Returning his attention to me, he said, “Well, congratulations on school being over.”

  “Thanks. So what are you doing here?”

  Jake studied me for a moment, then looked at my friends. “I was just relaxing for a bit and watching a game. You guys want to join me?”

  His gaze was including all of us, but I felt like I had a spotlight shining on me. I immediately shook my head. “No, we weren’t stay—”

  Before I could finish my rejection, Alicia and Chloe both blurted out, “We’d love to!” My eyes widened as I watched them grab the stools on either side of him. Oh no . . . this could not happen. I could not casually hang out with Jake. I could not drink myself into oblivion with Jake. I could not relax around him.

  I smiled at him and my friends, then grabbed Steph’s arm. “Sure . . . we’re just gonna go look for an open table. Be right back.”

  Jake nodded, then was bombarded with questions by my eager friends. Steph frowned as I yanked her away. “You okay? You kind of look like you’re about to pass out. Need some water?”

  I checked to make sure we were out of earshot, then shook my head. “No, I need to leave.”

  “Why?” she asked, genuinely confused.

  “I can’t sit down and . . . chitchat with him, and I definitely can’t drink with him.”

  “Why not? He’s a nice guy, and he genuinely seems to like you.” She looked over her shoulder at Jake and the others. Jake had taken his seat at the bar, and both Alicia and Chloe were leaning toward him, so close they were almost touching him. It made me nauseous to watch the flirting.

  Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath. “Because he’s my sister’s boyfriend,” I said, opening my eyes. “He’s dating Kylie, so hanging out feels . . . weird.”

  Steph’s brows bunched in confusion. “Why is hanging out with him weird? Unless . . .” Sadness suddenly morphed Steph’s features as she put all the pieces together. “Oh . . . you like him, don’t you?”

  “No, of course not.” She raised a knowing eyebrow at me, and I instantly caved. “Okay . . . maybe. But he’s with Kylie, and they’re . . . really happy.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked, glancing back toward the bar.

  I couldn’t look with her. “Yeah,” I said, my voice morose. He liked me, sure, but he adored my sister.

  Steph looked back at me with a smirk on her face. “Then why is he staring at us? Or more accurately, at you?”

  I looked over to see what she was talking about. He still had his back to us, but looking in the mirror, I could see she was right. His eyes were locked on me, and it warmed me in ways I knew it shouldn’t. I should definitely go home.

  Steph grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a table where a group of guys was starting to leave. Pulling out a chair once they were gone, she said, “We’ll just sit together for a little bit, have some drinks, and watch a game. What could possibly go wrong?”

  “Right . . . ,” I said, frowning. I was pretty sure that everything that had ever gone wrong in life had started with those exact w
ords.

  Steph went over to the bar to grab Jake and the girls and show them our table. Jake was the first to stand up and walk over. Alicia and Chloe seemed a little reluctant to leave their cozy side-by-side positions, but of course they followed him and joined us.

  The table was a small square with only four chairs, so Jake asked a trio nearby if he could take their extra seat. They agreed, and Jake placed the chair . . . right next to me. We were so close now our elbows touched. He was touching me. God, this was going to be a long night.

  Alicia ordered the first round—shots. I cringed when the waitress set them down. “Alicia, I don’t want to get sick tonight.”

  She shrugged, then grabbed mine. Annoyance flashed through me, and I instantly reached over and took it back. I might not want to overdo it, but I definitely wanted to drink.

  Alicia laughed . . . and so did Jake. I could feel him looking at me, so I turned my head. He lifted his little glass to mine. “Cheers,” he said.

  Withholding a sigh, I clinked his glass. “Cheers.”

  The others wanted in on it, so we all clinked glasses before tipping them back. The shot was Alicia’s favorite—Fireball—and was warm and comforting going down.

  “That was good,” Jake said, setting it down. “I haven’t had Fireball in forever.”

  Steph’s eyes lit up at his revelation. “We need more.”

  I groaned as she proceeded to line up several more shots, but by the time we’d gone through them all . . . I was a lot less worried. About everything.

  “More shots!” I yelled, throwing my hands into the air.

  Jake laughed, his body as loose and relaxed as mine. We were as close as two people could be now, legs pressed against each other, shoulders pressed together, heads occasionally resting against the other. Lowering my hands, I let one fall on Jake’s leg, the other on his arm. God, it felt good to touch him. Really good, and at the moment, I couldn’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t touch him.

  Steph laughed at my comment, then shook her head. “I think you’ve reached your max, Val. Any more, and you’ll be hurting in a way you don’t want to hurt, if you know what I mean.”

  Having no idea what she meant, I frowned. “Come on, Steph, just one more.”

  She raised a fiery eyebrow at me. “That’s what you said with the last one.”

  Alicia snorted. She’d recently gotten blonde highlights in her black hair, and they shone in the lights against her ebony skin. “She’ll never learn how to self-regulate if you’re always cutting her off, Steph. I say we let her pray to the porcelain god tonight.”

  Steph shot Alicia a glare. “And that right there is exactly why I’m her best friend.”

  Giggling, I leaned into Jake’s side. He was so warm, so comfortable, and he smelled . . . so good.

  Alicia pointed a finger at her. “Because you coddle her. She needs to stand on her own two feet. Be self-sufficient and all that.”

  That comment struck a nerve, even through my dulled mind. “Hey, I’m plenty self-suffic . . . ient. I just graduated, remember.” My words were slurred enough to be funny, and I laughed again.

  Jake grabbed my hand, and I instantly stopped laughing. All the humor had been sucked out of me, replaced with an urge to feel his lips, taste his skin. “She’s right,” he said. “I know my head is starting to spin, so I can only imagine how you’re feeling.”

  Wonderful, alive . . . perfect.

  His smile was so charming, so sultry, I had no choice but to agree with . . . whatever he was saying. “Yeah, okay.”

  His lopsided grin grew. “Great. Let’s go get some cabs, then.”

  He pulled me to my feet as he got up, and the alcohol hit me in a rush as I stood. My vision hazed, and I sank into his side. Jake wrapped an arm around me in support, and I smiled up at him. So sweet. So undeniably sexy. So close.

  Some sober part in the back of my mind wanted to add something else to that list, something . . . negative . . . but I was flying too high and feeling too good to try very hard to piece the fragmented thoughts together. All I knew right now was that I loved being near him, and I wasn’t ready to let him out of my sight.

  The five of us poured into the night and started walking down the sidewalk. None of us girls had driven here tonight—nobody had wanted to be the designated driver—and it seemed like Jake hadn’t driven either. We were right in the thick of downtown, and cabs were constantly zipping up and down the street. We half-heartedly stuck our hands out, trying to signal one, but none of us really wanted the evening to end.

  Jake and I clung to each other as we stumbled down the sidewalk. It was so wonderful to be so close to him, so connected. It felt perfectly natural, like it was always meant to be this way. Maybe we could walk all the way home. I wouldn’t mind. But right then a couple of cabs pulled up beside us, dashing that dream.

  Jake threw open the first taxi’s door, then pulled me inside with him. Laughing, I shut the door behind me, much to the dismay of Steph, who was standing right outside the closed door, looking like she wanted inside with us. She started reaching for the door, but seeing that we were ready to go, the cab driver pulled forward onto the street, leaving Steph behind. I quickly twisted to see her very concerned eyes watching me before she climbed into the second cab.

  I gave the cab driver my address, then settled into Jake’s side. Excitement started churning in my belly as Jake’s heat seeped into me . . . along with about a dozen warning bells. My conscience started screaming at me, reminding me that this was wrong. The alcohol flowing through my veins made me not want to listen, but when images of pressing my mouth to his flooded my brain and I began inching toward his lips, I knew I had no choice but to obey. Too far, Val. Too far.

  I laid my head on his shoulder, both to hide my almost blunder and to keep his mouth out of view. He was just too damn tempting. He laid his head on mine, and our hands drifted together. We made the rest of the journey to my place in silence. I couldn’t stop smiling, even though I felt horrible for everything that was happening.

  When the cab finally turned onto my street, I felt a tiny bit more in control, and I began to worry about what Jake might be expecting from all this flirting. Would he want to come up to my apartment with me? Would he invite himself? What would I say if he did? Even though I really wanted to spend more time with him, even though I really wanted to be alone with him in my apartment, I knew we couldn’t go there. I couldn’t do that to Kylie. I needed to close this door before it opened any further.

  Pulling back, I made myself tell him, “I had fun tonight. Thanks for hanging out with us.”

  He grinned as he studied me. “I had fun too. Thanks for letting me crash your party.”

  “Anytime,” I murmured, looking down at our still-laced fingers.

  Jake sighed, then pulled his hand from mine. “Guess I should let you go.”

  Disappointment hit me so hard my gut clenched. I did not want to say goodbye to him . . . but I didn’t want to hurt my sister either. The silence in the cab grew loud as we inexorably approached my apartment. Jake finally broke the spell by lifting his hand and tucking a strand of hair behind my ears. The move sent shivers down my spine.

  My heart rate spiked as Jake studied my face. His thumb stroked my cheek while he watched me, mesmerized. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. Then he started inching forward.

  My head swam with confusion while my heart raced with anticipation. Was he really doing what I thought he was doing? It would change everything if he kissed me, and not in a good way. We’d be betraying my sister. We’d be tormenting each other. I couldn’t let it go there, and yet . . . his lips were a temptation almost impossible to resist.

  I could feel the desire rising within me, pulling me into him, but it was coated with a layer of self-hatred, making all of this feel very wrong. Just when our mouths were about to meet, I forced willpower to make the difficult choice for me and gently pushed him away. “Jake . . .”

  He instantly snap
ped out of the trance he’d been in. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what . . .”

  “It’s okay,” I said, looking away.

  Jake let out a heavy sigh as the cab pulled up to the curb. I could tell he felt really bad for almost kissing me. It killed me a little that he felt that way, but I also completely understood—I felt that way too. We’d gotten too close tonight. We’d crossed a line.

  Still avoiding his gaze, I paid the driver my portion, then opened the door. Jake grabbed my hand before I could leave. “Valerie.” I looked back at him, finally making eye contact. His green eyes were swirling with confusion. “I . . . I just . . .” After inhaling a deep breath, he let it out in a rush. “Good night.”

  I studied him with bunched brows, then gave him a sad smile. “Good night, Jake.”

  Chapter Four

  I dreamed about Jake when I finally passed out. In my dream, things didn’t end awkwardly. He told me I was beautiful, then leaned in to kiss me—and I didn’t stop him. We shared a wonderful moment, and when it was over, I invited him up to my apartment. We talked on the couch, then kissed on the couch, then wound up in my bed. The perfect end to the perfect night. And in my dream, Jake had never met Kylie. He was single, and that was why he was alone at the bar. In my dream, there was no guilt involved with what we did. Unlike in reality, where all I felt was guilt. And sadness. Because he had met Kylie, and they were very much together.

  As I lay in bed trying to keep my head from pounding, I absorbed that sad fact. I’d been all over him last night, and he’d been all over me. We must have looked like a couple, but we weren’t. We were just two friends who had taken the flirting almost too far. Or maybe entirely too far.

  Thoughts of my sister followed next. Memories of comforting her after a horrible date, telling her that she’d find someone one day and he’d be amazing because she was amazing. And that was exactly what she’d done. She’d held on to hope and kept putting herself out there, and eventually she’d found a dream boyfriend. It wasn’t her fault he was also my dream boyfriend.