Something Like Perfect

by Stephens, S. C.

  “Homesick?” he said, grabbing my hand.

  Blood rushed through my veins at the contact. I searched his face, wondering what he was really doing here. “Yeah,” I whispered. “Homesick.” Because somehow, in the relatively short amount of time we’d been together, he’d become my center, and now that he was gone, I was completely lost. My eyes welled as I stared at him. I missed him so much. How could I miss him this much when barely any time had passed? “You shouldn’t be here,” I said, swallowing the emotion threatening to clog my throat.

  His fingers reached up and brushed my cheek. “Where else would I be?”

  “With Kylie.” A tear I couldn’t hold back fell to my skin. Jake brushed it away.

  He sighed, then looked down. “It’s not that simple, Valerie.”

  “Yes, it is,” I said, standing. “She’s your girlfriend.”

  He shot off the bed to stand beside me. “Then why couldn’t I stay with her tonight? Why did I tell her I needed to be with my parents tonight, needed to make sure they were okay? And then why did I come here instead?”

  Tears filled my eyes as I stared at him. “I don’t know. You’re supposed to be with her. You wanted to come back for her, before it was too late, and you lost her. It’s not too late. She’s still crazy in love with you, and you . . . you love—”

  He cut me off with a shake of his head. “No, I don’t love her. I care about her, yes, absolutely.” Stepping forward, he grabbed my hands. “But seeing her again made me realize . . . without a doubt . . . that I’m one hundred percent head over heels in love with you.”

  I closed my eyes as his words washed over me. He was in love with me. I’d been waiting an eternity for him to say that, and now that he had . . . I was more confused than ever. Tears rolled down my cheeks as pain washed over me in waves.

  Jake’s fingers brushed the tears away. I could feel him, his face dangerously close to mine. “Valerie,” he whispered. “I love you. Please say something.”

  Opening my eyes, I blinked away the moisture until I could clearly see him. He was gorgeous in the moonlight, his jade eyes deeper and more penetrating than ever. He wanted me. He was mine, if I’d just let him be mine. All I had to do to have him was betray someone I loved very much. She’ll never forgive me for this. But it was Jake.

  “I love you too,” I whispered. The words warmed my heart, but saying them also made me feel like I’d been plunged into the ocean again and was drowning. “Jake, we’ll destroy her. We should ignore this, leave it on the island.” I felt like I’d dumped a vat of acid on my heart, and the feeble organ was screaming in pain. Leaving us behind was the right thing to do, but I really didn’t want to do it.

  Jake shrugged. “I can’t, Valerie.” He grabbed my hand and put it over his heart; I could feel it pounding under my fingertips. “How could I possibly leave this on the island? You’re with me wherever I go. You always will be . . . and if I’m being perfectly honest with myself, you have been since the first day I met you.” With a huge smile, he shook his head. “You like the same obscure anime, you make lasagna better than my Italian grandmother—something I never imagined was possible—and every so often, I hear you humming my favorite song. You’re thoughtful, caring, empathetic, driven . . . beautiful. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. It’s like you were made for me, Valerie, and I’m sick and tired of denying that.”

  As his words dazzled my mind, he brought his lips to mine, and the pain in my heart evaporated with our connection. He loved me, he wanted me . . . and I was far too weak to resist him.

  I yanked off his shirt as I pulled him back toward the bed. He kicked off his shoes, then started undoing his jeans. God, was this really happening . . . here? Back at home? Once his jeans were off, he wrapped an arm around my waist and lowered us both to the bed. He lay on top of me, and I knew without a doubt—yes, this was happening.

  As his fingers deftly removed my clothes, I tried to forget that what we were doing was wrong. It hadn’t felt wrong on the island, and that hadn’t been all that long ago. A couple of days, that was all. Forcing the negative feelings from my mind, I fixated only on the feel of him. The taste. God, he was a good kisser. I almost whimpered when his mouth left mine and began trailing down my neck. He sucked a nipple into his mouth, and I had to remind myself not to make a sound. We weren’t alone anymore.

  His mouth ran down my side, kissing along my obliques, then my hip. I was squirming with need, desperate for his touch, when he finally ran his fingers between my legs. I almost contained the moan, and he peeked up at my face to smile at me.

  Grinning, I pushed him onto his back, returning the favor as I kissed my way down his chest. He shivered when my tongue began to outline his tattoo, then clutched the sheets and squirmed. I knew if we hadn’t been within earshot of my parents, he’d have groaned. Loudly.

  Continuing onward, I kissed his hip while clutching his hard body in my hand. I slowly, teasingly ran my tongue over the tip of him. He let out a soft curse, one he couldn’t contain. The sound brought back every memory I had of making love to him. Not able to stand any more teasing, I shifted my hips on top of his, positioned him, and then pushed him inside of me. His head dropped back as his hand shifted to clench my hip. I wanted to cry out so badly; it was agony not to make a sound.

  I slowly began to move, craving and savoring the perfect feeling of his body. Before long, the languid movements became more frantic, more urgent, and I dropped my chest to his so I could kiss him. “I love you,” he whispered between my lips.

  I wanted to repeat the sentiment, wanted to scream to the world that I felt the same, but the moment of release was upon me, and all I could do was gasp as euphoria hit me like a brick wall. Jake grabbed both of my hips, urging me on, then stiffened, biting his lip as a quiet groan escaped him. Our pace slowed, then stopped, and our breaths eventually returned to normal. But still, we lay there, connected, like we were both afraid to move, both afraid to acknowledge what we’d done.

  This wasn’t our first time together, but somehow . . . this changed everything.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Pale light began to seep through my window, and I knew my early-rising parents would be awake soon. I didn’t want Jake to leave, but I knew he had to go. Mom and Dad couldn’t walk in here and find him in bed with me. They wouldn’t understand. I barely did.

  We’d made love again. Here, back at home, away from the island. He’d admitted that he was in love with me. I loved him, too, but . . . Kylie. Mom had said she’d barely survived Jake’s death. If Jake and I did this—committed to being a legitimate couple—it would almost be worse than us dying, for Kylie. Her relationship with Jake would end, but Jake would still be around the city, a ghostly reminder of what they’d once shared. She would lose him again, and she would lose me, too . . . since I strongly doubted she would ever want to see me again if I stole her boyfriend. I loved Jake with all my heart, but how could I do that to her?

  A problem for another time. Right now, I needed to get Jake out of here.

  “Jake, you should go,” I murmured, poking his shoulder.

  He let out a rumbling sound of contentment. “Can’t. Too comfy.”

  I pushed his shoulder harder. “You need to, Jake. My parents can’t find you here.”

  Opening his eyes, he looked over at me. “Yeah . . . okay. Guess I’ll head back to my parents’ place. It’s so weird having everything I owned . . . gone.” He shook his head. “It’s weird to be starting over. No job, no place, no . . .” He let that trail off, but I understood what he’d been thinking. No girlfriend. But that wasn’t true. He had me.

  Giving him an encouraging smile, I said, “I know how you feel, but you’re not alone. Just like on the island . . . together is how we’ll get through this.”

  He grinned at me, then frowned. “What about Kylie? We need to tell her . . . something.”

  I felt like he’d just placed a cement block on my chest. “I know. I just don’t think now i
s the right time.” Because how would she ever accept me dating her ex-boyfriend? Who she didn’t yet realize was her ex-boyfriend?

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “Do you want me to keep pretending things are fine between us? That I’m in love with her and I’m not daydreaming about her sister?”

  His comment made me smile even as the weight on my chest grew heavier. “Not forever, just . . . for now. She’s been through so much . . .” I couldn’t crush her heart yet. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to do that.

  “Yeah, I know,” he said with a sigh. “I feel like a horrible human being.”

  “You’re no more horrible than I am.”

  He sighed again, then groaned and sat up. “Okay, I’m leaving.” He started to stand but paused to look back at me. “No matter what happens from here on out, just remember that I love you.”

  His words were both sweet and sad. I could feel the tears prick my eyes, but I swallowed them back. “I love you too,” I whispered.

  He leaned down to kiss me, then got up, dressed, and left out my window. A long sigh escaped me as I replayed our night over and over. It had been amazing, as always, but I was left with so many questions. What were we doing? What were we going to do next? And most importantly, what were we going to tell my sister? Was there any way out of this that didn’t break someone’s heart?

  No. There wasn’t.

  I managed to fall asleep due to pure exhaustion, and when I woke back up, my room was bright with sunshine. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I’d slept far longer than I’d wanted to sleep—it was almost noon. I was a little surprised my parents had allowed the long slumber. They were notorious for waking my sister and me up at the crack of dawn; eight was sleeping in when I was a child. But I supposed it wasn’t too surprising that they’d let me catch up on my rest. To them, I’d been sleeping on the cold, hard ground for months. When they found out how cushy I’d had it, I was sure the early wake-ups would begin again.

  With a yawn, I stretched and got out of bed. That was when I remembered that I was naked. Because I’d spent a good portion of the night with Kylie’s boyfriend. No, I needed to stop thinking of him that way. Things had irrevocably changed between us, and soon Kylie would know that . . . and their ties would be severed. And then my ties with my sister would be too. Just the thought made me feel sick with guilt and shame. Was love enough of a reason to lose her forever?

  I hurriedly dressed. I really hoped neither of my parents had checked on me while I’d been sleeping. They might wonder about the lack of clothes. Not that they would say anything—I was an adult, after all, and if I wanted to sleep nude, I certainly could.

  The doorbell rang just as I entered the living room. Not seeing Mom or Dad anywhere—they must have gone to work—I opened the door. The visitor surprised and delighted me. “Steph,” I exclaimed, leaning over to hug her. She didn’t return the hug; she was holding a large cup of coffee in each hand. “Oh my God . . . coffee.”

  She handed one my way, and I immediately took it from her. It was still superhot, but I took a sip anyway. It was sweet and creamy and absolute heaven going down. “Oh my God, I haven’t had coffee in ages. Sometimes on the island, I would have dreams about coffee shops.” That had been one commodity that the bunker hadn’t provided for us, and I’d been aching for it.

  Steph laughed as she stepped into the house and closed the door. “I thought you might enjoy that. Now . . . do you want to tell me what happened on the island? What really happened?” She let out a ragged exhale. “How did you even survive, Val?”

  I paused in drinking my coffee. Memories of the wreck flooded my mind. They were quickly replaced with images of Jake. Him running down the stairs to me. Him finding me in the water, kicking us to safety. Spotting the piece of decking. Him giving me hope when I’d lost all of mine.

  “Jake,” I whispered, feeling my eyes begin to burn with emotion. “He literally ran to my rescue. I only made it out of the boat because of him.”

  Steph sighed, sympathy on her face. “And then you were stranded on an island together. Alone with your sister’s boyfriend, a man you’ve had a crush on since before you even knew they were together.”

  I winced, then looked around the room, just to make sure we were truly alone. “Would you believe me if I said that nothing happened?”

  She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows. “If you promised, yes, because you wouldn’t lie to me . . . right?”

  With a groan, I sat down on the couch. “Best friendship is sometimes really annoying.”

  She laughed as she sat beside me. “I know. Spill. You’ll feel better.”

  Realizing that was true, I turned to face her. “At first it was just attraction.”

  She crinkled her nose. “Weren’t you both sweaty and dirty?”

  I laughed, then sighed. “It really didn’t matter, Steph. There was something between us . . . we eventually kissed.” I sighed again. “And then he apologized. Said he would do better at being a friend.”

  Steph took a sip of her coffee, then shook her head. “I bet that lasted long.”

  “Longer than you’d think. Almost three months long.”

  She choked on her coffee. “Three months? Jesus. No matter what else happened, I’m seriously proud of you guys. You obviously tried to be good.”

  I smiled at her comment, and I actually felt a little better. “Thank you.” I frowned. “If we’d just held out a little longer, that might have been the end of it. But there was a storm . . . I thought I was going to lose him . . . we kissed again, but it was different that time. Passionate, desperate. We admitted that we cared about each other, and then . . . and then we made love. Several times.”

  Steph giggled, and I groaned and laid my head back on the couch. “I’m a horrible person.”

  With a shake of her head, she said, “No, you’re not. I really think you could have taken him that night at the bar. You could have betrayed your sister way back then. But you didn’t. You did nothing with the man you’d been obsessing over. And then the unthinkable happened, and he became your savior. But still you did nothing, nothing more than a couple of kisses. You waited three months to cave into your feelings, and by then you probably honestly felt like you were never leaving the island. In my eyes, you’re pretty freaking innocent, Val.”

  Her words of encouragement lifted the lead around my heart and made a huge smile break over my lips. “Thank you. I actually really needed to hear that.”

  “You’re welcome,” she brightly said. “Lifting your spirits is just one of the many services I provide as a best friend.”

  I laughed, then sighed. “I hope Kylie sees it the way you do.”

  “You’re going to tell her?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise.

  The incredulous look on her face made me frown. Did she think Jake was going to go back to Kylie and pretend that the island had never happened? “Yeah, I mean, we kind of have to tell her. We want to be together. He . . . um, came by last night.” A sheepish smile formed on my face as I thought of our magical night wrapped in each other’s arms.

  Steph’s face fell as she looked at me. “Oh . . . oh, Valerie.”

  “What?” I asked, setting my coffee down. “I thought you were proud of me? I thought you supported this?”

  “I was proud, I am proud, but I don’t know . . . this is going to end badly.” With a sigh, she put her coffee down as well. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but your sister was a wreck when she thought you had both died. I mean, we all were, but Kylie . . . she was really a mess. I didn’t know if she was ever going to come out of it. Doing this to her . . . this is going to do some damage.”

  Hearing my own fears spoken out loud made guilt and shame flood through me. “What are we supposed to do? I love him, and he loves me. He can’t ignore his feelings and stay with her because he’s afraid to hurt her. She’s going to lose him either way. Do I have to lose him too? After everything we’ve been through? Just to keep Kylie from a little more
pain?”

  Steph stared at me for a few moments before finally shrugging. “I honestly don’t know. But . . . I think you’re probably on the right track. No, you are on the right track. You’re right. You can’t keep things the same just to spare her pain. You’ll just have to hurt her carefully,” she finished with a cringe.

  My eyes welled at the thought of breaking my sister’s heart. “Great. Can’t wait.”

  My parents came home right as Steph was leaving. I was surprised to see them since it was the middle of the afternoon. “Hey . . . what are you doing home?”

  Mom laughed. “We live here, honey.”

  I rolled my eyes at her comment, then shook my head. “I meant, Why aren’t you at work?”

  Mom looked over at Dad before meeting my eyes again. “We, uh . . . we sold the business, and we’re pretty much retired now.”

  Surprise hit me hard, but it dissipated quickly. They’d talked about this before, so it wasn’t that big of a shock; I just hadn’t expected it yet. “Oh, well . . . congratulations. I know you’d been wanting to do that for a while. I guess I truly am out of a job, though. Good thing I don’t have any bills. Or anything, actually.” I tried to smile, but it just wouldn’t form.

  Mom tossed her arms around me with a sigh. “I’m so sorry, Valerie. If we’d known there was even a possibility that you had survived, we wouldn’t have . . .”

  She sighed again, and I squeezed her. “It’s fine, Mom. I’m not mad; it’s just . . . weird.”

  Mom pulled back to look at me with a raised eyebrow. “My daughter came back from the dead. Weird just doesn’t cut it.”

  With a laugh, I hugged her again. “You know I was never actually dead, right?”

  Mom laughed, then patted my back. As Dad squeezed my arm, I let out a sigh. “Guess I should get a job. And my own place. And another car. And clothes. And a bed. And a toothbrush . . .” There were so many things I needed that it really was like I was back on the island. There was so much to do it was overwhelming.