Since I knew I couldn’t live with my parents for the rest of my life, my first task had been to find a job. And since I was still relatively fresh from culinary school—and a touch famous after surviving a sinking boat—I’d landed a job as a sous chef at one of LA’s poshest restaurants. It was the greatest place to work, and every day, I was learning more and more about what I needed to do for my own restaurant. But I did have to put up with a couple of minor annoyances . . .
“So tell me again how this guy pulled you from the water, saving your life.”
I rolled my eyes as I glared at my coworker Phillipe. “There’s nothing new to tell. Everything was covered in the interview.”
He frowned as he stared at me. “But the guy, Valerie. You were on an island with him for months. You admitted to falling in love with him, having this epic romance, and then you come back here, and you just . . . split? That makes no sense . . .”
“Sorry to disappoint, but that’s what happened.” We’d sacrificed our love for the greater good. At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
Phillipe’s frown deepened as he went back to making lobster ravioli for tonight’s special. “That’s just . . . lame. Where’s the story, the drama, the romance? The happily ever after?”
I resisted the urge to toss my spoon at his face. “Real life doesn’t always have those things, Phillipe.”
“Maybe, maybe not, but still . . . it would be a much better story if you’d ended up with him.”
Internally, I sighed. I’d believed that, too, at one point.
The head chef came in after that, silencing all conversations. I was grateful for the distraction. I was tired of talking about the island. Yes, it had happened; yes, parts of it had been good—really good—but a lot of it had been terrifying, and I was glad it was over with.
Chef Rourke started barking to Phillipe about the lack of uniformity in his ravioli, and I hid my smile. Chef reminded me a lot of Chef Sinclair. God, I missed that gruff man. His lifeless eyes still haunted me sometimes. I really wished I’d been able to get to know him better. I really wished he’d lived. I wished they’d all lived. Now that the romantic entanglement of that tragedy was over with, I’d been thinking a lot lately about all the lives that had been lost. All of them had deserved so much better than the fate they’d received.
When Chef Rourke was done setting Phillipe straight, he headed my way. His stern eyes looked over my pastry puffs. He made a grunting sound, then moved on to yell at someone else. “Bitch,” Phillipe murmured. “Do you ever do anything wrong?”
I smiled at Phillipe, but inside I was cataloging everything I’d done wrong. It was a long list.
After my shift was over, I said goodbye to Phillipe and my other coworkers and headed to my car in the parking lot. Transportation had been my second priority. Third had been a tie between a place to live and a cell phone, both of which I’d successfully procured.
Climbing into my well-used but supercute coupe, I pulled out my phone and texted my sister. I’m on my way to the bar now. Are you still going out with us?
Yep, she said. See you there! Her text was littered with smiley faces, and I was happy to see them. One, it meant she truly wasn’t mad at me, and two, it meant she was in a good mood. She’d been in a good mood a lot lately. I thought she’d finally recovered from losing Jake. I wanted to say the same thing about myself, but I wasn’t sure if that was true. I still didn’t sleep well. I still thought about him all the time. I still loved him.
Annoyed at myself, I tossed my phone into my bag and started the car. After way too many red lights, I finally pulled into the parking lot for the bar—the same sports bar that Jake and I had connected at so very long ago. I frowned as I looked over at the building that had been disastrous to me in so many ways, yet it had been wonderful too.
Walking into the bar, I quickly found my circle of friends: Steph, Alicia, Chloe, Kylie . . . and a strange man I’d never seen before. Kylie was giddy when she saw me, beaming from ear to ear. I tilted my head, studying her as I approached. And that was when it hit me—I’d seen her like this once before. She was in love. I shifted my eyes to her new love interest. He was about as different from Jake as you could get—dark eyes, dark hair, and just slightly taller than she was. Taken together as a couple, they were adorable.
“Hey,” I said when I was close enough. “What’s going on?”
Kylie giggled as she gave me a quick hug. “Val, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Simon.”
I politely extended a hand, and Simon grabbed it. “It’s nice to meet you,” I told him. Releasing his hand, I turned back to my sister and added, “For the first time.”
Kylie swished her hand at me. “I know it’s the first time you’ve met. There’s no way fate would do that to us twice. Plus, Simon is completely incapable of lying, and I already asked him about you.”
Simon stuffed his hands in his pockets while his cheeks turned bright red. “Yeah, uh, never met, but I saw your interview a while ago. That was pretty crazy what you went through.”
“You have no idea,” I said, tossing on a smile.
Chloe patted the seat beside her, and I sat down with a grin. She gave me a quick squeeze around the shoulders. “Good to see you, Val. How’s work?”
“Amazing,” I told her, drawing out the word. “Chef Rourke is a bear, but I’m learning so much.”
Steph and Alicia gave me bright smiles while Kylie and her boyfriend sat down. “We’re so proud of you, Val,” Steph said. “And you too, Kylie. We heard you’re back at the beach doing caricatures and working on paintings that some have said are about to snatch top dollar.”
Kylie raised an eyebrow. Simon grinned and kissed her cheek. “Who said that?” Kylie asked.
“Me,” Alicia said. “And I know my shit.”
Kylie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling brightly. It was so good to see her happy and to know she was doing well. It was almost enough to fill the aching hole in my heart. It made me wonder . . . maybe Kylie had moved on enough that she’d be okay if I contacted Jake. Or maybe that would be a trigger for her, reopening all the scars I’d caused and souring things between us again. I wanted to talk to her about it, but I was a little terrified of what she might say. And it probably didn’t matter anyway. A guy like Jake didn’t stay single long. Stop thinking about him. It’s long over, and he’s not waiting around for you.
Practicing forced awareness of the present, I pushed all thoughts of Jake from my mind. And that was when I heard Alicia say, “Damn . . . hot guy, twelve o’clock.”
Her words brought a rush of pain through me. It hit me so hard I inadvertently inhaled a sharp breath. Kylie gently smacked Alicia across the arm. “Alicia, I doubt Simon wants a heads-up about some random hot guy.”
Alicia laughed. “I didn’t mention him for Simon’s benefit. But there are three single girls at the table. Surely Simon doesn’t mind if I help them out.”
Laughing, Simon shook his head. “Go right ahead.” Then he turned to face Kylie. “I’m all about people finding true love.”
Alicia let out a loud groan as they kissed. “Get a room,” she said, throwing a wadded napkin at them.
While Alicia laughed, Steph leaned back so she could look at the aforementioned hot guy. “Oooh, you’re right, Alicia. He’s . . . oh, isn’t that . . .”
Her voice trailed off, and a sudden tension built up around the table. Oh no, it couldn’t be . . . I closed my eyes, like somehow I could block out the truth. I wasn’t ready to see him again; I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Val,” my sister said. “It’s Jake. He’s looking at you.”
I held my breath as I slowly opened my eyes. She was right. Jake was sitting at the bar—just like that night—but this time he was twisted in his seat and was staring at our table. Staring at me.
My heart began to pound as our eyes locked. It had been so long since I’d seen him, and while he looked worn and tired, he was so
attractive it hurt my heart. God, I’ve missed you. Jake’s eyes were boring holes into me, and his expression was screaming that he wanted to come over and talk to me. I had no idea if he should.
I forced myself to break eye contact with him and look around the table. I half expected judgment from my friends, maybe resentment, but all of them—Kylie included—were giving me supportive smiles, like they wanted me to talk to him.
My gaze focused on Kylie. “We can leave. Go dancing or something.”
Soft smile on her face, she shook her head. “It’s okay, Valerie. I think you should go talk to him.”
My eyes widened. “You do? Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you again.”
Sitting back in her seat, Kylie grinned as she grabbed Simon’s hand. “I’m positive, Valerie. I’m happy, truly happy, and I’m completely over him. But you’re not. You’ve never stopped loving him, and I actually . . . feel really guilty for keeping you apart this long. So go talk to him. I’ll only be angry with you if you don’t.”
I studied her face a moment, looking for any sign that she wasn’t being completely honest. There was nothing but peace on her face, though, so I gave her a warm smile, then stood up and hugged her. Then I braced myself for a tidal wave of mixed emotions and started walking Jake’s way.
Jake stood as he saw me approaching, and I could tell he was nervous. His eyes kept flicking between me and Kylie, and he almost looked like he wanted to run. When I was close enough, he started shaking his head. “I didn’t know you were going to be here, I swear. I’m not trying to . . . I told you no contact, and I meant it. I wouldn’t . . .”
He swallowed hard, and I could see the emotion written all over his face—the grief, the guilt, the desire. It welled up inside me, too, making my vision hazy and my throat tight. “I know,” I told him. “I know you didn’t plan this. We never planned any of this.”
He cracked a tight smile at that. Then he looked down at my chest, and his smile grew. “You really do have the exact same shirt.”
A small nervous laugh escaped me as I realized just what I was wearing. “Yeah . . . told you.”
His smile dropped as he looked back at my sister. “Is Kylie . . . is she still mad at you? At us?”
There was a cringe on his face as he looked back at me. I inhaled a deep, calming breath. “No. She’s . . . good.” Some of my nerves evaporated as I said that, as I realized it was true. “She was angry for a long time, and even when she forgave me, she still didn’t . . . she couldn’t handle us being together. You were right about that. Separating was the only way to keep her in my life.”
Jake nodded, his eyes drifting to the floor. “Well, I’m glad something good came out of all this.”
Stepping forward, I grabbed his hands. He seemed shocked by the move, and his eyes snapped back to Kylie before returning to me. “I don’t think . . . is this okay?” he asked, looking both confused and hopeful.
Touching him again made a rush of happiness course through me. It had been so long, and he felt so good. “I think so. She told me to talk to you. She . . . she wants this.”
He still seemed floored, so much so that I began to worry. “Do you want this?” I asked. And it was only then that I realized . . . he might not want me back. Like my sister, he might have moved on. “Are you here with someone?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.
Jake slowly shook his head. Knowing my question wasn’t truly a complete picture of his life, I said, “Do you have someone at home? Are you involved?”
Jake closed his eyes, and pain abolished all of my happiness. He wasn’t single. We’d gone through all this, sacrificed all this, and he still wasn’t single. I started pulling away from him, and Jake’s eyes snapped open. He grabbed my hands, holding me in place. “No, I’m not involved. I’m not seeing anyone. I’m completely alone.”
I bunched my brows, trying to understand. “Then why did you look so . . . I don’t know, sad?”
A small smile touched his lips. “Because I’ve been having this dream every night since I left your house, and for a split second there, I was positive that’s all this was . . . just another dream. I knew I was about to wake up, about to start another day without you, and I just . . . I can’t. I can’t do it anymore, Valerie.”
My heart surged with adrenaline and happiness. “You’re single. I’m single. And my sister is finally happy again. Does that mean . . . ? Can we really . . . ?”
The hope was so fragile inside me that I couldn’t even finish my questions. Jake pressed my hand against his chest, against his heart. “You’re always with me, Val. And if you want me, I’m yours.”
I did. Desperately. But I didn’t want to ruin everything Kylie and I had rebuilt. I couldn’t break up with Jake again if she wasn’t truly on board—I wouldn’t survive another forced separation. I opened my mouth to answer him, but no words came out. His worried eyes searched my face, and then, at the same time, we both twisted to look at my sister.
She was still sitting at the table with my friends, and all of them were relentlessly staring at us. Heat started rushing to my cheeks at being under their intense scrutiny, but I ignored the sensation and focused on Kylie. She was the only one I cared about at the moment. She stared back at me, her blue eyes bright, her smile dazzling. Simon had his arm around her shoulders, and he was watching the exchange with curious—but unworried—eyes.
Finally, after an eternity that was probably only a few seconds, Kylie cupped her hands to her mouth and shouted, “Kiss her, you idiot!”
I frowned at her calling Jake an idiot, then turned back to him with a smile on my face. I was about to tell him yes, I wanted him, when his lips crashed down to mine. The bar instantly filled with hooting and hollering, but the sound was drowned out by my rampaging heart. His mouth on mine again was like a jolt to my soul, revitalizing my spirit, filling me with life and hope. I felt like anything was possible again.
When we finally broke apart, we were both breathless. Feeling almost delirious with joy, I laced my arms around his neck and told him, “I want you. Today, tomorrow . . . forever, I want you.”
His grin was infectious, and then his smile softened, his hand cupped my cheek, and his thumb began tenderly stroking the skin. A bittersweet memory rushed over me: You’re so beautiful. He’d always seen me as more than he could ever confess to my sister. He’d loved me from the beginning, and that love had only grown on the island. And then he’d done the unthinkable . . . he’d let me go to save my family from falling apart. How many guys would do that? Be that selfless? None that I had ever met. He was one of a kind, made just for me, and now, finally, we could actually be together.
“I love you,” I whispered, feeling like my heart might beat its way out of my chest.
Jake smiled. “I love you too,” he said, and then he leaned forward and placed his lips against mine, gently this time. And for the first time in a long time, I felt the void inside me completely fill. God, I’d missed him.
Chapter Nineteen
I could not believe what was happening today. One year and three months after telling my sister I would do it, I’d actually done it. My dream fulfilled, my greatest desire completed. Tomorrow was the grand opening of my restaurant. My restaurant. Just thinking about it made me want to pinch myself. In fact, I had already done that about ten times today.
The grin on my face was frozen in place as I put on my chef’s jacket. I’d had the same expression plastered on me ever since the bank had approved my loan. It was happening!
Arms wrapped around me from behind, and soft lips nuzzled my ear. “You’re going to wear that all night long, aren’t you?”
Giggling, I relaxed into Jake’s arms. “You bet your ass I am, Captain.” A few months ago, Jake had taken a job captaining a charter boat for sports fishermen. It was small compared to the cruise ship he’d originally dreamed of captaining, but as it turned out—he absolutely loved it. And I loved the fact that he was home every evening, not out on the open ocean.
“I might even sleep in it,” I told him.
His lips drifted to my neck. “We’ll see about that,” he murmured.
I laughed, then twisted in his arms. “Can you believe it, Jake? Isla Bonita is finally about to open.”
He grinned, his beautiful jade eyes sparkling with love and contentment. “I love the name you chose. All I can think about is you when I hear it.”
“Yeah,” I said, looping my arms around his neck. “It reminds me of you too. Of everything we went through . . . everything we lost . . . and gained.” I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I laughed again as I wiped them dry. “I don’t know why I’m such a wreck. I’ve been crying at the drop of a hat lately.”
“That’s joy, Valerie. Joy of finally seeing something you’ve been . . . craving . . . become yours. I know that feeling well,” he whispered. He leaned down to kiss me, and every nerve ending tingled.
I pulled him in tighter, deepening our kiss, our connection. It had taken me a while to fully give my heart to Jake again. At first, after we’d reconnected, I’d kept a piece of my soul in a tiny box, worried that something would tear us apart again. But nothing bad had happened, and time had slowly chipped away the walls until there was nothing left. I was laid bare before him—a terrifying but intoxicating feeling.
Jake’s hands moved up my back to my shoulders, and I could feel him removing my jacket. My new, embroidered Isla Bonita jacket. I smacked his fingers away, then told him, “The jacket stays on, mister.”
He grinned, then nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” He left the jacket alone, removing my jeans instead. As I laughed, my joy infecting every part of me, Jake stripped the clothes that I allowed him to strip. When I was mostly bare—just my unbuttoned jacket remaining—he laid me on my bed. Our bed. We’d officially moved in together two months ago, after I’d finally relented to his ceaseless insistence that him coming over every night practically constituted living together anyway.
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