by Shawn Hill
CHAPTER 3 - THE RECOVERY
Nothingness encompasses all, until a stinging pain shoots through the darkness accompanied by a flash of light. Soon, another flash, and the sting is stronger. Pain comes again, and another brief moment of light which fades away just as before. A final flash brings with it more hurt than all the rest, but the light does not fade this time. A small amount remains. It’s steady, shaped like a small circle and appears to be turning. Thomas begins to focus on it as the noise of sirens and the chatter of people talking become louder and louder until the full volume of the world slams into him.
“We have a pulse! I’m reading a pulse!” Shouts an EMT.
“It’s stable; let’s get him in the ambulance! I think we got here just in time to save him. Who knows how long he was gone.”
Thomas barely opens his eyes as he regains consciousness, just a bit at first, only enough to allow a thin line of brightness in. The ambulance is moving fast, and after a few minutes Thomas finally starts to look around but is dazed, confused, and immediately begins to cry uncontrollably. As the memories of this morning’s tragedy start to flood back, he suddenly understands the reason for his tears and why he can’t stop them. His head hurts worse than any migraine he’s ever had, and his body feels heavy and hard to move.
The people surrounding him are asking questions, but Thomas is unable to respond and stops trying. He remains still, blinking away the buildup of moisture causing his vision to blur every few seconds. Every bump in the road causes a pulse of pain to shoot through his head and the light above hurts, so he looks to the side. Soon, they arrive in front of a hospital’s emergency room entrance and the EMTs rush him in.
The hand off is made to the hospital’s ER staff while the ambulance crew updates them on Thomas’s vitals. Nurses quickly move Thomas into an open room and connect him to a cardiac monitor. After a couple of hours and no sign of trouble, he’s moved again to a standard room for observation where he begins to slowly show signs of awareness and starts quietly crying out.
“Where’s Juliandra? Where is Juliandra?” he says.
A nurse named Rachel approaches.
“I don’t know where Juliandra is sir. We’ll find out for you alright. Now, try and relax. Just lie back and relax.”
His vision is blurry, but he can make out the silhouettes that seem to be talking to each other.
“Jim, I don’t know who he is, but the EMTs tell me that he could’ve been gone for several minutes before they revived him. They don’t know how long he was without a heartbeat and who knows what kind of brain damage has occurred.”
“Alright, alright… Let’s keep him under observation and wait for the authorities to tell us what’s happened. We need to pull his medical records right away. See if you can get his name, social, or something.”
“Hey!” Thomas yells out. “My name is Thomas Lee! Thomas Lee! Where’s my wife, Juliandra?”
The doctor walks over, close to him, and calls a nurse to the room.
“Rachel, can you please pull up any records we have for a Thomas Lee, right away?” He leans over Thomas, looking into his eyes.
“Thomas, can you understand me?”
“Yes,” Thomas replies.
“Listen, can you tell me if you have any medical issues with your heart?”
“No,” Thomas says, “Nothing.”
“Thomas, did you take anything before this happened? Any medications, drugs, or alcohol? Anything you can remember?”
“No… Nothing.” he replies, frustrated. “My wife, she’s gone. Juliandra’s gone.”
“We’re still waiting for the authorities, Thomas. Try to relax. We’ll find out where she is, just relax.”
Thomas looks at the buzzing fluorescent lights on the ceiling and wipes away the tears that continue to build up. He can’t seem to stop them, and it takes several minutes to control the outbursts of emotion that have become dominant and refuse to subside.
A short while later he finds himself being questioned by two officers investigating the situation. They’re trying to get answers about the day’s events.
“I was just standing there and she fell to the ground. I didn’t know what was happening and I pulled her away and kept pulling her. I couldn’t save her. It happened in the blink of an eye. I blacked out after that. I just don’t know what happened.” Thomas explains.
Juliandra’s brother and mom arrive while the two men are listening to his description of what happened. Regina is in tears, while Brighten seems filled with anger as they approach.
“Where is my daughter?” Regina asks. “Where’s Juliandra?”
One of the officers explains that Juliandra did not survive and her body was taken for an autopsy to determine the exact cause of death. He also tells her that from what they could see, she had been shot three times. Regina nearly drops to the floor crying, but Brighten reacts quickly, reaches out and is able to hold her up.
“Ms. Jones, we’ll have the results soon and will inform you as we know more. We’ll be using every resource at our disposal to find whoever did this.”
Brighten immediately speaks out in anger. “Was it Thomas? Was it him? Did he do it?”
“No, Mr. Jones, as far as we can tell, Thomas is not a suspect. We don’t believe he could have done this. Everything he’s told us seems to check out and until we can prove otherwise, we must assume he’s innocent. The shots came from outside the home and according to their neighbor, a mister Holland Grant, both Juliandra and Thomas were inside at the time.”
Thomas calls for Brighten to come near the bed. “Brighten, I swear to you, I don’t know what happen. Juliandra was in the kitchen and then she….” Unable to finish his sentence, Thomas begins to cry.
Brighten looks down at Thomas with bloodshot eyes and a lifetime of rage.
“You better hope you’re not involved, Thomas, or I swear, I will skin your white ass and leave you to die.”
Regina quickly embraces Thomas and shouts, “Enough! I want to see my son-in-law alone, right now! Brighten, he didn’t do it. Please, wait outside.”
One of the officers hands Thomas a card and explains that he will need to make a formal statement as soon as possible. Brighten and the two men leave the room, but remain outside after closing the door. Regina, still embracing Thomas and in tears, asks him to explain.
“Thomas, please tell me what happened to Juliandra. Oh, my Juliandra... Thomas, what’s going on?”
“I don’t know Regina. We had a wonderful night and were looking forward to today, just the two of us together. We danced in the kitchen, I took the trash outside and when I went back in she was standing there. I saw her…. I saw her fall to the floor in agony. Oh my God… Juliandra’s gone!”
Regina and Thomas remain in the room until the doctor comes back and asks everyone, including the officers, to leave.
“Thomas must be left to rest now. We have him under observation and he needs to relax so we can make sure his vitals remain stable. You can see him again tomorrow. Okay.”
The doctor walks over to Thomas.
“Mr. Lee, I know all of this is very traumatic but, I have a job to do and that job is to keep you alive and healthy. Please try to keep yourself calm. I promise that I’ll do whatever it takes to help you. I can’t however give you any medication to help you sleep at this point because we’re unsure what the cause of your cardiac event was. Please, try to rest.”
“Alright,” Thomas replies, “Alright.”
Thomas is suddenly left to his own thoughts and the ambient noises of the monitoring equipment surrounding him. The morning plays out over and over in his head as he turns from one side of the bed to the other. The tears won’t stop as he becomes more and more upset. He feels responsible.
“I couldn’t save her! I couldn’t save her!” He cries out, sweat pouring down his face.
Nurse Rachel pops in and rushes over.
“Mr. Lee, you have to relax, your heart rate is too high; we need to get it down.”<
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“I can’t relax, I lost my wife. I couldn’t save her.”
Rachel calls for the doctor and waits for his arrival.
“Doctor, we have to do something with Mr. Lee; he can’t calm down and his adrenaline levels are causing his heart rate to stay high.”
The doctor turns a page in a file folder he is holding. “I just finished looking through his records and I see nothing regarding any medical conditions at all. I’m going to prescribe a single .5mg dose of Ativan to help him get through tonight. Please, get it to him as soon as you can and watch his vitals closely.”
“Yes, Doctor, I’m on it.”
Moments later, Nurse Rachel returns to Thomas’s room with the prescribed medication and what she considers good news for Thomas.
“Mr. Lee, I’m going to give you a small dose of something called Ativan, to help you sleep. The doctor looked at your records and believes you should be fine to have it.”
Thomas nods his head. “I hate medications,” he says, “but I’ll try anything right now.”
“It’ll just take me a few seconds to get this ready,” Nurse Rachel explains.
Thomas sits up. “How long does it take nurse? How long till it helps?”
“Oh, you can lie back Mr. Lee. This will go right through your IV. You don’t have to take it orally. Some of the medications can take hours to work when taken orally. This should be almost immediate.”
“Ahh”
“Alright, here we go. Try to relax your mind. Your brain can help the process or fight it; it’s very powerful. “
“I’ll try, thank you.”
“We’re done,” Nurse Rachel says. “Just relax. I’m going to turn off the room light now to help you sleep.”
Instantly, the appearance of the room alters with the sound of the light switch changing position. Thomas stares upward trying to calm his mind, but a continuous stream of thoughts reminding him of reality keeps relaxation at bay. He finds himself drawn to the light emitted by each piece of equipment placed around the bed, and her face is all he can think of; her beautiful smile, her perfect lips, and her soft brown skin as he caresses it. Eventually, the small lights keeping his attention start to fade, ambient noise begins to quiet, and nothingness becomes everything.