Cuff Me, Sheriff

by Douglas, Katie

  “You wouldn’t. We don’t have one. All our kids get shipped out to Gila Bend.” Luckily, I knew the principal, and could arrange for some impromptu talking time with a few kids.

  “So that’s where we’re headed?”

  I nodded. “And this time, don’t scare the kids off.”

  “No, sir.” She was teasing me when she said it, pretending I was her boss on this case. But my stomach clenched and I decided I liked it when she called me ‘sir’.

  I didn’t tell her. No point encouraging her. After all, as soon as this case was closed, she’d be gone back to the east coast.

  Just my luck, really, that the only girl I’d liked this millennium was going to leave soon.

  * * *

  Mariella

  There was something careful and caged about Bob when I mentioned Christmas. Usually garrulous, he turned reserved all of a sudden. I didn’t need to be a trained FBI agent to know he was omitting something.

  The way he shifted uncomfortably when I mentioned family... it was pretty obvious what was going on here. It was the old story. We had almost had sex in the sheriff’s office, but he had a family. And being a man, he was hoping he might still get laid, so he wasn’t telling me about Mrs. Sheriff.

  Yuck.

  I pushed my coffee away and put a twenty on the table before standing up to leave.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “I need to get back and get a good night’s sleep,” I lied.

  “But it’s barely seven in the evening. Most people haven’t eaten dinner, yet!”

  I shrugged and walked out.

  “If you’ll hold on a mo, I’ll drive you back,” he called after me. I ignored him.

  “Well, how d’you like that?” the waitress shouted. It was the last thing I heard before the door closed behind me and I was outside in the cool air.

  Alone. Alone was good. He’d weaved an atmosphere around us and I just wanted to get away from it. Away from him.

  The town wasn’t big at all, and I knew we weren’t a long way from the guest house. The walk would do me good.

  I felt stupid. Of course he’d be married. And some men really had no qualms about cheating. I wouldn’t do it, though. Never. It took one wandering eye to break marriage vows, and I wouldn’t be the one to help him.

  It was going to be awkward working together on this case, from now on. Maybe I should surrender to the festive season and ask Captain Souza to send out someone else, after all.

  No. I’d be professional about it. Even if he was incapable of that. I’d said some things, and he’d spanked me for it. Now I needed to find the Borscht Cartel and get the hell out of nowheresville. The best way to not be complicit in cheating was to keep communications to a minimum, and eventually completely remove myself from the situation.

  The town was nice at this time of day. Quiet and pleasant. I could see myself staying here awhile. Pity about the Sheriff. My butt throbbed in sympathy. It was one thing to do a scene with a married man who had his wife’s permission to dominate other people, it was a completely different thing to have this level of familiarity with someone who so obviously had a family at home. His poor wife. He’d obviously not told her anything, else he wouldn’t be so closed-off about his plans for Christmas.

  I crossed the street and opened the front door of Mrs. Womack’s guest house. She was behind the counter.

  “Back so soon? Did Bob drop you off? Could you just put your head out and ask him to wait a moment, I need to ask him something,” she said.

  “He’s not here. I walked back,” I explained.

  Her brows knitted together. “Was everything all right? Are you unwell? I could call Doc Brown over to look at you.”

  “That won’t be necessary, thanks. I just... didn’t want him getting any ideas.”

  “Whyever not? It’s clear you both like each other!”

  “I wouldn’t want to disrespect his wife.”

  “Marcy?” Mrs. Womack looked confused. So there was a wife! I was right.

  “Yeah. Do they have kids?”

  Mrs. Womack shook her head and leaned on the counter. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about Marcy, but she’s not with us anymore.”

  “She left him? Good.”

  Mrs. Womack stared at me in horror.

  “Why would you say such a thing?”

  “Because he’s a cheating, no-good son of a gun,” I replied. “He’s spending Christmas with her, isn’t he?”

  Mrs. Womack straightened up but she’d gone deathly pale. When she spoke, her voice was cold but determined.

  “Listen, if Bob Halsey wants to spend his Christmas at Marcy’s grave, that’s no business of yours! He does plenty for everyone else the rest of the year and if he wants to spend his day that way, it’s up to him.”

  I gasped in surprise. “Grave?”

  “I’d imagine so. She’s been dead these past fifteen years.”

  I hit my forehead with my hand. “You mean I just walked out on him for nothing?”

  “Sounds likely.” She turned and busied herself shuffling more papers, and I realized she was giving me a hint to go away.

  I went to my room with my head spinning and lay on the bed. I wanted to think this whole thing through, but instead, I fell asleep.

  Chapter 6

  Bob

  I went home mightily confused by that damn agent. She didn’t make any sense at all. What on Earth had she walked out for? I went back over everything, but I couldn’t see a single thing I’d said or done that would cause such a problem.

  Fine. She wanted to play it this way, then she could do whatever she wanted. I’d been trying to ensure she wasn’t feeling abandoned after that spanking, but she clearly didn’t want to know.

  I drifted off to sleep deciding tomorrow was a new day and I planned to treat her like anyone else I worked with.

  When morning came, I realized it was Christmas Eve.

  The shops would be closed, tomorrow.

  I’d better get some bread.

  Making a mental shopping list, I headed to the Sheriff’s office expecting her to already be in there, but she wasn’t. Sean and Mike were in deep conversation about something, but otherwise the place was empty. The clock said she had ten minutes before she was late.

  “Morning, Sheriff,” Sean said when he saw me. He got to his feet, but I waved him back down. Mike looked over and gave me a wry salute.

  “I’m headed out to the high school, once Agent Frost arrives. Can you two hold the fort here while I go talk to some kids?”

  They both nodded.

  I busied myself catching up on paperwork until eight. Agent Frost still hadn’t showed up, and in all honesty, I wasn’t too thrilled about waiting for her. Not after how she’d behaved last night. If she was mine, I’d be spanking her for that.

  At two minutes after eight, she ran into the Sheriff’s office with her jacket askew. She’d clearly been running. She didn’t apologize, just pulled her phone out and looked engrossed in it. Ugh, screw this.

  “C’mon, Agent Frost.” I picked up the case file, headed back toward my car and didn’t look back to see if she was following or not. I was getting this case solved whether she liked it or not.

  When I started the engine, I was mildly surprised that she was opening the passenger door.

  “Were you going to wait?” she asked.

  “Frankly? No.” I began driving, in spite of the stony silence.

  I could hear the cogs in her mind whirring, trying to process what I’d just said and how it fit into her world view. Likely, she was the sort of girl who went around being blunt with people and didn’t expect anyone to do it back.

  Her move. I waited to see what it would be.

  We were five minutes down the road before she finally responded.

  “You can’t push me out of the investigation.”

  She was going for that angle? I raised a brow. “Ma’am, you need to make up your mind. One minute, you’re walking out
on me, the next, you’re talking to me, then you’re walking out on me again. Who do I get, today?”

  She was silent again. I guessed if we hadn’t been in a moving vehicle, she would have walked out again. As it was, she was stuck in the passenger seat. Good. Maybe now she would face her problems head on.

  When she next spoke, she surprised me.

  “I walked out on you in the sheriff’s office last night because I didn’t want to jump into anything.”

  I nodded. That made sense, and I’d surmised as much.

  “And the diner?” I asked. If she gave me some line about not being ready to eat a donut with me, I wasn’t going to believe anything else she said.

  “I thought you were married.”

  That was too far. I slammed my foot on the brake, throwing us both forward until the safety belts locked up.

  “What the hell?” she demanded.

  “Y’know what? I’ve had it with you. Get outta the car.” She’d hit my last nerve and I wasn’t going to stand for it.

  “But the case—”

  “I’ll send you my report. Or would you prefer to fabricate the whole thing yourself? Seems to me you’re good at making things up about folk.” I hardened my expression and waited for her to argue some more.

  She looked at her hands and finally showed some human emotion.

  “I’m sorry, I’ve messed this all up,” she said quietly. I thought she was going to say more, but instead she opened the door and got out.

  I was in gear and ready to drive off but something stopped me. Leaving her out on the side of the road was a mean thing to do. And I might have been many things, but I wasn’t the sort of man who could abandon a woman like that.

  I turned off the engine and got out of the car, walking over to where she stood looking gloomy and confused.

  “I think you and I need a heart to heart, young lady,” I told her, motioning for her to come sit on a wooden bench with a view of the desert. The day hadn’t hotted up, yet, and there weren’t many people around, either.

  I decided to tell her what I thought. “If you were mine, I’d spank you for your lateness this morning, never mind your attitude.”

  “I’m sorry I assumed something,” she mumbled. I held a hand up.

  “It was disrespectful to believe I not only had a wife that I was concealing from you, but that I was cheating on her, too. What kind of a man do you think I am?”

  “I came to the wrong conclusion. Mrs. Womack explained about Marcy.”

  I bristled when she said the name, but outwardly I kept it together.

  “I loved Marcy very much. She died in a bad way, and it never should’a happened. But that was fifteen years ago.”

  “In my defense, you’re acting like a married man who’s cheating on his wife.”

  Her words slapped me across the face. As soon as she said it, I knew it was true.

  “I was going to marry her. My chance at happiness got stolen from me by someone who thought they could get rich quick by robbing a drugstore. We could have had kids together, and a life. Instead, I visit her grave every year on Christmas day. It ain’t when she died, but the graveyard’s pretty quiet that day.”

  Mariella sat in silence, staring at the sun-soaked sand. I could tell she was thinking on all this.

  “When you wanted sex—after spanking me—I thought you were acting strange because you didn’t want your wife to know. I didn’t want to be complicit. My dad cheated on my mom when I was young. I guess that’s my chip on my shoulder.”

  Daddy issues. I knew how those sort of things affected youngsters.

  “Seems like we’ve both got some things to work on,” I pointed out. “How’s about we work on them at my place tomorrow?”

  “But the case...” she mumbled, as if she were obliged to object to the invitation.

  “We can’t go to people’s houses investigating a crime on Christmas day, it wouldn’t be right.”

  “Oh, well... I guess.” She still sounded reluctant. I wondered if she knew what December twenty-fifth was like in a small town. Maybe she thought there would be bars and restaurants open.

  “Everywhere will be closed. You won’t be able to eat unless you like instant ramen for Christmas dinner.”

  “It worked fine last year.”

  Oh, boy, she really hated Christmas. Maybe even as much as I did.

  “I promise there’s gonna be no tree, no lights, no tinsel... it’ll be the least Christmassy place in the whole town.” I never decorated for the season. Didn’t seem a lot of point for just me.

  “No holiday specials?” she raised a brow suspiciously, like she thought I was trying to ensnare her so I could sit her on the couch and make her watch Hallmark movies.

  “I have Jaws on DVD,” I offered.

  She nodded. “Acceptable.”

  A surge of relief and excitement ran through my veins. I hadn’t felt like this about anything in years. Made me feel young again.

  “Great.” And maybe I could figure out why she hated Christmas so much.

  “So... are you still investigating without me?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “Naw. I was being a grumpy old man. C’mon. Let’s go scare some kids back onto the straight and narrow.”

  * * *

  Mariella

  Gila Bend High School was a small place, without any of the complications of the East Coast high schools where I had sometimes been sent to interview witnesses or investigate serious incidents.

  There wasn’t even a metal detector at the entrance. A real country school. Trusting. I bet the teachers knew each of their students’ names.

  I walked straight in with Bob, who tipped his hat to the receptionist as he signed in.

  “Hey, Beryl, I’m here about Jimmy Green. He’s gotten himself into some trouble and is in the hospital. Could I speak to his homeroom teacher, please?”

  The receptionist nodded. “Oh, sure, that’ll be Karen. I’ll just check which room she’s in.” Beryl peered at something on the wall, presumably a timetable, then looked back at Bob. “Room two-oh-five. You need directions?”

  “Second floor, past the biology lab, right?”

  “You got it.”

  Bob and I went on our way. I was a little disturbed by the lack of any proper checks, but I put my unused ID away and followed Bob to the classroom.

  A fluffy-looking woman was marking a stack of books in an empty classroom. She looked up when Bob knocked on the door, and smiled in recognition.

  “Hey, Bob! How’s things?”

  “Same old, same old. Listen, Karen, it’s about Jimmy.”

  “He’s been off school. His mom said he’s in hospital.”

  “Yeah. Let me fill you in...” Bob caught Jimmy’s homeroom teacher up on what had happened, and her expression turned to shock.

  “In Snake Eye? I just can’t believe it! Jimmy’s a good kid.”

  “Apparently, he decided to start experimenting. We’re trying to figure out where he got it from.”

  “Nobody at the school, I’d bet,” Karen said. It was such a naive answer. Even in the face of one of her students taking an illicit substance, she couldn’t accept that the student body clearly had a drug supply from somewhere.

  “I’m sure it wasn’t, Karen. But could you point me in the direction of Jimmy’s friends?”

  “Of course! He hangs out with Marnie and Frank. It’s recess in a few minutes; I’ll find them for you.” She looked on her computer and checked the kids’ timetables, then sent us in the right direction.

  We ambled down the corridor and I finally said what I thought.

  “Want to bet which friend got him started on drugs?” I asked.

  “No. That would be inappropriate and mean. We don’t know either kid did anything,” Bob replied. He was right, of course, but I still felt like he was taking this job way too seriously. I supposed it was because not a lot happened in his one-horse town, so this was a big deal for him, whereas for me, this was a painfully mund
ane piece of a puzzle that might or might not get me closer to the Borscht Cartel.

  The bell rang and kids poured out into the hall. Bob found the two we needed to interview, and sat them down in a quiet room. I took notes.

  “Either of you sell Jimmy the drugs he took?” he asked. I admired him for getting straight to it.

  “No, sir!” Marnie squeaked.

  “Jimmy’s not the type to take drugs!” Frank added.

  “Well he did, so he must be,” Bob replied. “What I want to know is where’d he get them?”

  “Not from us. The only thing anyone sells on campus is pot, and that’s just a few kids we don’t hang out with, sir.” Marnie was clearly scared out of her mind by the Sheriff’s involvement.

  “Has Jimmy made any new friends lately? Anything changed in his routine?”

  “Don’t think so,” Marnie said.

  “His grandpa took him home the day before he got sick,” Frank added. I tried not to laugh.

  Bob sighed and shook his head. “Does Jimmy have an after school job, like a paper route? I’m wonderin’ where he got the money to buy those pills.”

  “His parents give him a pretty big allowance,” Marnie replied.

  “Well, I suppose that’s that,” Bob said. We let them go because we clearly weren’t getting anywhere.

  “Think they’re covering for him?” I asked, once we were alone.

  “I think they’re genuine.” Bob shrugged. “But that means our dealer is a ghost. Someone must have seen Jimmy do something unusual.”

  “I think we should talk to the kids in the vans again. Maybe they’re lying.”

  “Good plan. Let’s stop by the office, first. I’m gonna put in a request for a sniffer dog to help us get to the bottom of this.”

  The Sheriff’s office was air conditioned, which was nice after how warm the car had been. Bob liked to drive slowly with the windows rolled down.

  “Hey, boss, we got another one,” Mike, one of the deputies, said as we walked in.

  “Another what?” I asked.

  “Becca Sparrow. Eighteen. Went to a party last night. Now she’s on life support,” Mike explained.

  “Same pills?” Bob asked, taking the report from Mike.

  “Looks like. She’s been taken to the same hospital as Jimmy.”