The Ascension Trial

by CJ Embers

  Although I had begged for him, seeing him here, finally here, filled me with resentment, and the horrible abandonment returned tenfold.

  I didn’t move from the bed and didn’t meet his fiery gaze, so he came closer and knelt before me so our eyes were level.

  Against all the resentment I felt, I reached out, my entire body trembling from exhaustion, weakness, and silent relief that he was finally here.

  His ebony-clad fingers wrapped around my own.

  “Why’d you abandon me?” I asked as tears flowed down and soaked into the pillow.

  “I never abandoned you.”

  The sound of his deep, grating voice made me close my eyes, my mind desperately trying to cling to any semblance of comfort. Letting out a shuddering breath, I said, “You did. You vowed to protect me, then let me be dragged from the throne like an animal.”

  “Protecting you is not synonymous with stepping in every time something goes wrong, Adeptus.”

  I looked into his fiery eyes, wishing I could see what lay behind his horned helmet.

  “You are still responsible for your own actions.”

  “Then why show up now? Why ignore me the entire journey here, only to show up as soon as I arrive?”

  “Showing up around the army of Marnori would have intervened in the consequences of your actions. My presence would have made them bend the knee and release you.”

  “Like that’s such a bad thing?” I demanded.

  “My purpose is not to absolve you from your sins.”

  My gaze dropped to his hand, which was still clasped around mine. I was silent for a while, simply staring at them.

  “Will I be executed here?” I asked after a stretch of silence.

  “That is up to you.”

  I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I didn’t have the energy to ask.

  I lifted my gaze back to the red glow of his own, and the deity reached forward with his free hand, trailing his fingers down my jaw. I closed my eyes as the familiar frost spread through me.

  “I have not abandoned you, Kena.”

  When my eyes opened again, Helis was surrounded by swirling black smoke.

  Panicked that I was being left alone again, I reached out to him, but the Trial god was already gone. The dark fog faded away, and the moonlight strengthened once more.

  I pulled back and sat up, wiping tears from my face. Hearing noise, I looked up. Every other prisoner in the jailhouse was staring at me with wide eyes and jaws agape. I glanced over at Nala to see she was also awake and staring at me with the same expression.

  My cellmate shakily stood and dropped to her knees in front of me.

  “Please don’t, Nala,” I begged.

  What followed was not her getting to her feet, but the other prisoners following her lead as one by one, they knelt on the grimy cobblestone with their heads bowed.

  Chapter 15

  N ala spoke up before I could. “I— I didn’t doubt your words, but… but seeing Helis here in the flesh… Kena, y-you’re our saving grace.”

  “No, I’m not!” I spat. “You heard what Helis said. He’s not going to help us get out here. I am nothing without his help! Nothing of what I accomplished was done because of me!”

  “You became an Adeptus without his help,” my cellmate pointed out.

  “And that’s not going to help anything right now. I’m just as powerless against an army as all of you are.”

  I turned around on the bed and lay down, wishing I could shut out the murmurings of the other prisoners. Sometime later, it finally fell silent, and I managed to drift off to sleep.

  At dawn, I felt a bit better. My sleep had been uninterrupted by malevolent dreams, and the dead weight of abandonment sitting on my chest had lessened.

  I trailed my fingers down my jaw, tracing the line of Helis’ own. Every other time he had touched me, it was to chastise me. Last night, however, felt different.

  It was only logical for the dark god to have a gentler side to smooth out his sharp edges, but I found myself yearning for his touch to mean something else. For it to be more personal, and not just a god trying to comfort a mortal.

  Despite feeling a bit better, my entire situation continued to affect my appetite. I knew I had lost a fair amount of weight since being captured, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat.

  Helis couldn’t save me from myself. And what was the point of going on? Even if I did somehow manage to escape, or the Tehji of Marnori did set me free, where would I go? Clearly, Shekri and Karua in general had no interest in having freedoms, so I would once again be stuck to the life of an Iuni. And I didn’t want that life.

  Nala noticed me not eating and came over with some food to try to persuade me. She wasn’t leaving me alone, so I took a small chunk of bread to satisfy her. My cellmate wouldn’t leave until she saw me eating it, so I choked it down.

  Helis, I wished you had killed me in the Trial… Rather that than to be made a fool of and stuck in a cell for the rest of my life.

  “Giving up is your choice, Adeptus.”

  Hearing the dark deity’s voice, I sat up and looked around. When he was nowhere to be seen, I sunk back onto the bed.

  So you can hear my thoughts?

  Helis didn’t respond.

  “What’s wrong?” Nala asked from her side of the cell.

  I looked over. “You didn’t hear that, then?”

  “Hear what?”

  “Helis spoke to me,” I said, pulling the thin blanket over me.

  She came over to me and sat by the bed, and I had to swallow a sigh. I just wanted to be left alone.

  “You’re an Adeptus and under the protection of our god; can’t you help us all escape?”

  I met her pleading gaze.

  “Most of us here aren’t criminals, Kena. We don’t deserve to rot in here.”

  “I can’t do anything, Nala!” I growled, suddenly angry. “Helis made it clear he’s not here to absolve me. If I find a way to escape, and we’re met with an army? We would be dead. I’m not a hero, Nala. Put your faith in someone else.”

  The prisoner opened her mouth to respond, but the entrance to the jailhouse opened and she clamped her jaw closed.

  Five guards came inside, and they came straight for my cell. They opened the door and two came for me while another ensured Nala stayed where she was.

  My legs were weak and I struggled to stay standing as they pulled me from the bed. They brought me out of the jail and locked the cell behind us.

  Nala’s shrill voice cut through the quiet. “You can’t harm her! She is protected by Helis himself!”

  As I was dragged towards the door, the other prisoners began beating on their cell bars, creating an ear-shattering noise that thundered the air. The guards got me outside and slammed the door behind them, shutting out the racket.

  Outside, the sun blinded me and I covered my eyes while the guards escorted me to wherever we were going. When my vision adjusted to the bright light, I dropped my hand and was immediately greeted by Marnori citizens staring at me. It seemed like my story had spread, because many of them jeered at me.

  A teen girl who looked about five years younger than me broke off from her family and dashed in front of me, stopping the guards. She put a fist over her chest and bent the knee.

  I was speechless for a moment before noticing the guards were reaching for their swords. Her family looked horrified at the teen’s act of fealty to a traitor.

  “Get up,” I hissed. “Do you want to become an Iuni or execu—”

  My words were cut short when one of the guards pulled his weapon from his sheath. One of the girl’s younger siblings grabbed the teen’s arm and tried to yank her away, but a guard intervened and pulled the teen away with his blade pressed against her.

  Her sibling cried out and tried to get to her sister, but she was met with the guards’ weapons. The young girl fell to her knees, bawling, while her other family members were stricken with horror.

  One of the
men went up to the mother and snarled, “You will answer for the crimes of your daughter. What is your name?”

  The woman looked terrified and answered him in a shaky voice, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. When she glanced at her daughter, I noticed a flicker of anger and betrayal.

  Before we continued on our path, I looked over at the teen. Despite there being a whisper of fear in her eyes, she held her head proudly.

  Seeing such a young girl make the choice to throw her life away made me terrified. For such a blatant act of treason, she would surely be executed, and not even be given the chance to live as an Iuni.

  “Were you not even younger when you started shunning Karua’s laws?”

  “That’s different,” I snarled.

  One of the guards hit me over the head and told me to keep my mouth shut.

  I kept my gaze downwards for the rest of the time, worried I would meet the eyes of another person who was willing to be executed for a pathetic excuse for a Adeptus.

  When a door opened, I finally looked up to see we were in front of a huge building, not unlike the palace of Shekri; but the one in my village was dwarfed in comparison to this one.

  A quick glance around showed the teen had disappeared along with a couple of guards. I desperately hoped they had simply brought her to the jailhouse, and not to be executed.

  The front door led into a huge, mostly-empty room that was decorated with tapestries and old weapons. On the far end, I could see another room attached by a doorless arch. Farther in, there were many people, including a handful of Tehji sitting on a row of thrones near the back.

  The guards led me to that room. As soon as we stepped inside, everyone hushed and turned to look at me. Someone standing near the center of the room caught my eye, and when I realized it was Oren, I nearly froze.

  When he recognized me, his eyes widened, and I could tell he was fighting the urge to come to me. He looked horrified at my appearance, but he kept his mouth shut. The man looked in significantly better health and condition than I did.

  The guards stopped by my second in command, then most took a step back with their hands on the pommels of their swords while one went up to the leaders.

  Oren glanced at me, grief written all over his face. The guard ahead spoke to the leaders, too quietly for me to make out his words. Based on the Tehji’s reactions, it seemed like whatever the man was saying didn’t impress them.

  When the guard gave them a nod and came back to stand beside me and my second, the Tehji on the thrones called for attention.

  “We’re gathered here today to let this man and woman speak on behalf of their crimes, and repent. Now, you two have been accused of murder, treason, and inciting violence. How do you plead?”

  I spoke before Oren could. “I already know you won’t take anything other than agreement, so why are you wasting my time here?”

  The Tehji exchanged glances, looking gobsmacked that a prisoner had the audacity to claim her time was worth more than theirs.

  After a moment, another of the leaders spoke. “So… You admit your guilt for these crimes?”

  “I admit nothing. I gave my village freedom from the patriarchy. That’s a crime to misogynists, not me.”

  The men looked displeased with my snarky attitude.

  “You knew Karua’s laws and still chose to break them.”

  “Funny that you conveniently brush off my comments. You know you’re misogynists. Filthy pigs.”

  A Tehjin slammed his hands down on the armrests of his throne and stood, fury on his face. “You’re the prisoner here! Hold your tongue, lest you wish to be executed on the spot.”

  I snorted just to piss him off even more. He took a step towards me before another leader ordered him to sit back down. “We are here to resolve issues, not make more.”

  Smoothing out his red robes, the man sat back down with a sour expression on his face.

  I felt smug, knowing I had gotten under his skin.

  The Tehjin looked at my second in command. “And you. Your name is Oren, correct?”

  He nodded.

  “You are under the same scrutiny. You may not have been the one to make all the decisions behind all of the crimes, but you are Kena’s second. You did not disagree with her choices, otherwise I am assuming she would have killed you just as she did the Tehji of Shekri. Make your case.”

  Oren sighed. “Just as Kena said, your minds are already made up. You’re just doing this under the guise of giving us a fighting chance. But I will speak regardless; maybe it will help change the minds of others in this room, if not the five of you… The Tehji believe women are lesser—”

  “We do not believe that,” one interrupted. “Women are a very important part of our society.”

  “Tell me— where was Kena kept, for her to look so filthy? I can tell everyone in this room that I was kept in a beautiful, clean building. I doubt my leader can say the same about her conditions.”

  He glanced at me, and I nodded. “I was kept in a poorly-lit building that had no privacy and was very grimy. There were many women prisoners there, but no men from what I could see.”

  Murmuring flitted throughout the crowd.

  Oren continued. “You cannot dismiss my claim while simultaneously keeping the women prisoners in significantly worse conditions. You say I am guilty of the same crimes as Kena, which should have meant that I was placed in the same type of lockdown. But I wasn’t.”

  “That’s not—”

  “I am not finished,” Oren cut him off.

  I glanced at him, suddenly having even more respect for him.

  “You assumed I agreed with all of Kena’s choices, but you’re wrong. While I didn’t stop her, I did voice my concerns, many times. I tried shedding a different light on her actions and the reactions of the people of Shekri. She is a brand-new leader, with no previous experience in controlling an entire village. While that doesn’t necessarily excuse her transgressions, maybe twenty-some years of being treated lesser and seeing other women being treated lesser is?”

  “The Tehji treat women as incubators. Sure, you give them a few nice things here and there as thanks, but you’re still removing their choices. They can’t become warriors, guards, Adepti, or leaders. Even the men you treat poorly. It is against the law for both to develop feelings, bonds, and relationships with someone of the opposite sex.”

  “Under such oppressive rule, can you not honestly have predicted that eventually someone would come along to challenge you? That someone ended up being Kena. And apparently, even Helis himself agrees with her.”

  The room was silent for a moment, then the crowd was exchanging glances amongst each other while whispering. The Tehji were staring at us with cold gazes.

  A Tehjin raised his hand to quiet the murmurings.

  “Yes, so we’ve heard the claims. According to my guards, it seems she even managed to convince the other prisoners. So far from what we have seen, however, are simply that— claims. If the Trial god Helis is indeed protecting you, let him appear before us now to confirm.”

  The entire room was so quiet, you would have been able to hear a pin drop. I knew by now that my protector wouldn’t appear, so I simply stood still, gazing coolly at the Tehji.

  After about twenty seconds of silence, the men on the thrones looked upon me with displeasure. “Well, we shall take that as a resounding fake claim, then.”

  “We have heard enough. Kena, will you choose to repent from your crimes and live according to the laws and customs of Karua and Marnori, or will you decline? If you decline, you will be sent back to prison before we decide whether your crimes justify being outcast or executed.”

  “You can all go to hell.”

  The man motioned for the guards, and they swarmed from behind me. I was pulled from the room as the Tehji asked the same of Oren, but I was unable to hear his answer. I tried to look back to see whether he was also being escorted out, but the guards shoved me, making me stumble.

&n
bsp; Outside, I relished in the bright light and warmth, knowing soon I would be back in the dank jailhouse. I kept my head held high this time. Standing in front of the Tehji of the capital of Karua and not taking any of their shit had made me feel powerful again, if only for a short while.

  As I strode through Marnori, it felt like I could sense Helis beside me, invisible and silent, but there all the same. Even though I was angry at him for letting me deal with the consequences of my own actions, deep down, I knew he was right to not step in. He was under no obligation to steer my life for me, and I would never learn if he stepped in every time something went wrong.

  I’m glad you’re with me, Helis. Self-reflection sucks, but your guidance is helping me. I’m learning… I hope. I want the legacy of the first female Adeptus and leader to be one of righteousness. I may not have gotten off on the right foot, but if I ever get the chance to escape, I want to change that.

  It felt like a lock of my hair was caressed before a cold, metallic hand rested on my shoulder. I looked back, but there were only guards there, and one was quick to order me to face forward.

  Disappointment swirled in me, and I hoped the dark god was actually here with me and it wasn’t just a figment of my imagination.

  Although I wasn’t keeping my gaze down this time, I still avoided eye contact with the citizens of the capital, hoping they would be less inclined to kneel before me if I didn’t notice them.

  Finally having the energy and willpower to look around, I spent the time being led back by gazing around at the city. Although I hated its leaders, the city itself was beautiful.

  When I was back in the cell and the guards had left, Nala came up to me, curiosity in her eyes. “You look… better.”

  “I guess giving a metaphorical middle finger to misogynists gives me strength,” I said as I sat down on my bed.

  “So— So what happened? Are you being executed?”

  “Probably,” I replied with a shrug.