In Too Deep (Heart Lines)

by Larissa de Silva

  I could remember the way she had pushed that boy to safety, even when it felt like she was drowning herself

  She smiled at me when I met her gaze. “Yes,” she said. “If that’s okay.”

  I nodded. “Yes, of course that’s okay,” I replied. “I told you that I was going to give you a ride home, so I fully intend to do that. Do you live far?”

  She shook her head. “No,” she said. “About ten minutes away.”

  “Gotcha,” I said. “Well, it’s gotten dark, and I think we’re going to miss traffic.”

  “Sounds good,” she said. We both got up and walked toward the exit of the coffee shop. Before we got to the exit, a little girl zoomed past us quickly, falling on her face so quickly and hard that it was clear she was going to get hurt when she hit the ground. I leaned down and put my hand in the way of her face and the floor, which helped stop her from hitting the ground as hard as she would have otherwise.

  The mother, who was steps behind her, turned to me, looking pale. “Thank you so much,” she said. “I’m so sorry, she’s such an escape artist.”

  “It’s okay,” I said as the girl got to her feet, dusting herself off by patting her clothes.

  The little girl flashed me a toothy smile. “Thank you, mister,” she said before she ran back to her mom.

  I met Terry’s gaze, who was smiling.

  “Another one?” she asked as I walked over to where she was.

  “Yes,” I said. “She was going to fall face first on the ground.”

  “And you stopped her, without even thinking about it.”

  “Well, I wasn’t just going to let her fall on the ground,” I replied. “She could have broken a tooth or something.”

  We were on the street, waiting for the light at the crossing to change. When I offered her my arm, she took it without thinking about it, and as her fingers wrapped around my arm, I felt a little lightheaded right then and there.

  We waited at the crossing for a few minutes before the light turned green. I put my hand on the small of her back as we crossed the street, though I didn’t have to. I thought she might shake me off, but she didn’t.

  She met my gaze and smiled, her eyes shining. I saw the wrinkles on her nose and around her eyes, and my heart flipped in my chest. I tried my best not to think too much about it, I didn’t want to overanalyze it, I didn’t want to think that she was as into me as I was into her when there was simply no way to know.

  And I couldn’t know.

  I couldn’t ask her, either, because it felt unfair to do that. We walked back to the parking lot while we spoke about the weather, and the news, and I was only vaguely aware that people were still talking and laughing around us as people began to file into downtown to go out for the night.

  We were at her place after only a few minutes. It was a large apartment building, with dirt all around the actual buildings, a pool that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for a long time. I could hear people talking from somewhere, though I didn’t know where the voices were coming from.

  “Do you want me to walk you to your door?”

  “No, you don’t have to. That’s okay.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  She looked me up and down. “To my door. I won’t invite you in.”

  I shook my head, my eyes wide. “What gave you that idea?”

  She laughed, no humor in her voice. “I might come across as naïve, but I do have eyes.”

  I smiled as I looked at her. “Is it that obvious?”

  “I get it. I like you too.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You do?”

  “Yes, of course I do. You’re smart, you’re nice, and you have incredible arms.”

  I laughed. “You want to see me flex?”

  She shook her head, laughing before she spoke after she waved her hand in front of her face. “No, you might be too irresistible if you do that.”

  I took my arm, stuck it up in the air, bent at the elbow, and flexed. “I’m taking you to the gun show. I have to, after you said it might work.”

  She turned away from me, still laughing. “Things are already really complicated. Even if we had met under different circumstances, I expect that we are at completely different points in our lives.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She sighed, her voice dropping to a whisper before she spoke. “I don’t want to make assumptions about you. But you should know, I don’t do casual.”

  I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. That I didn’t just want to do casual. But she wasn’t wrong, because I didn’t have time for real relationships. Not with my training schedule. Not with trying to get to the Olympics.

  “Even if I did,” she said as she looked at my face. “We are being sued. It’s hardly the best set up for a romantic relationship.”

  I shook my head. “I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I don’t think we should let them stop us.”

  “I think that’s a really nice sentiment, but I don’t think you’re taking everything into account,” she replied. “What if it doesn’t go well? What if we end up having to pay? What if they find in his favor?”

  I shook my head, waving her off. I didn’t want to dismiss her, but what she said sounded ridiculous. It was ridiculous. I knew that it was. “That’s not going to happen.”

  She swallowed before she set her gaze on me. “You don’t know that. You can’t to know that. Unless choose one, which… Are you?”

  I shook my head, once again, this time smiling. “No,” I replied. “I’m not psychic.”

  “I didn’t think that you were,” she said. “I had fun. I really did, but… we have to be sensible. We’re both adults here.”

  “What are you saying?”

  She smiled at me. “As much as I like you, I don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved.”

  I closed my eyes. “You are right a lot,” I replied. “It’s annoying.”

  “I know. My friends hate it too.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked her.

  “It means you get to be one of them,” she said, smiling at me as her gaze met mine once again. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were bright and I wanted to cross the space that separated us and kiss her on the mouth, but I couldn’t.

  I wouldn’t, no matter how much I want to.

  “So we’re going to be friends?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she replied. “Let’s be friends, okay? I have a feeling that this kind of thing gets really stressful, so the more friends we have, the better.”

  I nodded. That made sense, even though I didn’t want to hear it. We exchanged phone numbers, but when I leaned over to open the car door so that I could leave the car and get out to walk her up to her door, she put her hand on my arm.

  “No,” she said. “Don’t worry, it’s okay.”

  She leaned towards me, planting a kiss on my cheek. It made my heart flutter, and all I could do was stare at her as she got out of the car, closed the door loudly behind her, and made her way towards the large apartment building in front of us.

  I didn’t start my car until about a minute after she had disappeared into the building and my heart felt like it wasn’t going to beat out of my chest anymore.

  CHAPTER NINE

  2019

  TERRY

  “No, I seriously wouldn’t worry about it,” I told my mom. I’d been on the phone with her for what felt like hours, and she had a lot of anxiety over the lawsuit, which gave me anxiety over the lawsuit. I was trying my best to seem like I wasn’t worried about it, like I knew everything was going to be okay.

  “Are you sure?” She asked. “You could have taken the settlement. Your father and I would’ve been happy to pay.”

  I swallowed. “You would have been happy to pay because I helped to save someone from drowning?”

  “Is that what they’re saying that you did, though?” she asked. “Send us your lawyer bills. We can at least help with that.”

  I sat down on my sofa, letting
myself sink into it. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. You shouldn’t have to fight this alone.”

  I smiled, despite myself. I couldn’t help but think about Noah. “Remember, Mom, they are suing both of us. Not just me.”

  I heard her tut. “This is ridiculous. You know this is ridiculous, right?”

  “You’re telling me?” I asked. “Of course I know this is ridiculous. I just want it to be over.”

  “I understand. You’re right,” she said. I heard her sigh as she stirred her cup of tea, the spoon clacking against the sides of the ceramic mug. It was the homiest sound she could’ve made, and it reminded me very much of being a child. I couldn’t help but smile even as it was obvious that she was trying her best to calm herself down. “You know, if you want a different lawyer…”

  “My lawyer’s fine. But I’ll let you know if I need another one. How does that sound?”

  “Sounds good. Do you have to disclose at work?”

  “I don’t know. I’m still thinking about it. I don’t have to, I don’t think, but I think they’ll back me up. Still, I haven’t been working there for the long, and I don’t want to jeopardize anything.”

  “Well, if they don’t back you up, they’re not worth working for,” she said.

  “You’re right there, Mom,” I replied as I looked at myself in the mirror. “But whether they’re worth it or not, I need someone to pay my student loans.”

  “Fair enough,” she said. “But you wouldn’t have a problem finding another job.”

  “I don’t want to try.”

  She laughed. She was going to say something else when the phone began to vibrate in my ear as I got another call. “Hey, listen,” I said. “Someone is calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said. “Are you bringing dessert—”

  “I’ll let you know,” I replied. “I’m just gonna answer this, okay?”

  She said something else. I didn’t hear it. I had answered the phone call, which came from a blocked number. “Hello?” I said. I completely expect it to be a telemarketer or something, but the quiet voice on the other end of the line, said otherwise.

  “Hello?” Someone asked. It was a masculine voice that I didn’t recognize.

  “Yes?”

  “Is this Dr. Terry Mara?”

  “It is?” I asked. I was still unsure who it would be.

  “Okay,” the voice replied. “Please, listen to me closely. I don’t have long time, and if they find out that I called you, I’m going to be in a world of trouble.”

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry, who is this?”

  “My name is the Diego Keene,” the boy said. His voice shook slightly. I realized it was a boy because his voice was a little young sounding, but there was also plenty of uncertainty in his voice. It was as if he was struggling to even speak.

  “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  “You probably don’t remember me. My family is suing you.”

  I furrowed my brow as I looked at my reflection on the television screen in front of me. I looked as confused as I felt. “What?”

  “I just want you to know. I didn’t want them to do this. I begged them not to.”

  “Diego, are you supposed to be talking to me?” I asked, trying to sound less shocked than I felt.

  I heard laughter. He clearly wasn’t amused. “No, of course I’m not supposed to be talking to you. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to let you know, I didn’t have anything to do with it. I couldn’t be more grateful for what you did.”

  “You tell that to your parents?”

  He laughed again, and this time, he was amused. “You think they listen to me?” He asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you at home, but…”

  “How did you get my number?”

  “From the lawsuit,” he said. “But I only had a second to look at it and memorize it before it was taken away from me. Will you tell the other guy I’m sorry?”

  “Diego, I think you need to speak to a—”

  The line went blank and I realized that he’d hung up when I looked at the screen and noticed that the call had ended for a few seconds. I could feel my heart beating fast in my chest, as I thought about what had just happened.

  The kid had asked me to tell Noah about it, which meant that I had to. But more importantly, I had to tell the lawyers. Surely that was going to affect our case and whether the lawsuit even went forward.

  I grabbed myself a glass of water before I called Noah. He answered after a couple of rings and, and I could hear loud music in the background.

  “Terry!” he screamed into the phone. I heard a female voice say something to him over the loud thumping music. “One second!”

  I waited for a few minutes until the music sounded like it was further away.

  “Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to bother you while you’re out—”

  “It’s okay,” he replied. “I wouldn’t have picked up if I didn’t want to talk to you.”

  “I will let you go really quickly,” I said. “I just… I heard from the kid.”

  “The kid?”

  “The one who is supposed to be suing us?” I said, surprised at how uncertain I sounded myself. “It was really bizarre. He kept saying that he didn’t want it to happen.”

  “Wait, you’re telling me that he got in touch with you to tell you that he didn’t want to sue?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

  “You are right,” he said. His voice sounded strained. “That is super weird.”

  “I think we need to get in touch with lawyers, and I think we need to make an appointment with them, so that we can talk about this. If he doesn’t want there to be a lawsuit, surely it can’t continue?”

  “I mean, that make sense to me,” he said. “I’ll make an appointment on Monday, and let you know about it. How does that sound?”

  “Fine,” I replied. “Thanks, Noah. Enjoy your night.”

  “Terry—”

  I didn’t really wait to hear what he had to say. I could feel the pit in my stomach growing as I tried my best to ignore it, to ignore how anxious and scary I suddenly felt.

  I turned on my TV and tried my best to forget all about it.

  That was, after all, all I could do.

  CHAPTER TEN

  2019

  NOAH

  I walked into the lawyer’s office feeling like absolute shit. I shouldn’t have gone out the night before and my head hurt quite a lot. I didn’t want to go out, but after Choppy had asked me to go and told me that his date had bailed and he didn’t want to go back home to sulk, so I couldn’t say no.

  I wasn’t just going to leave him behind. That wasn’t the kind of thing I did. Choppy wouldn’t have let me go out by myself, so I wasn’t going to let him do it himself.

  But ever since Terry had called, all I could think about was her. It was her voice, the way she had sounded. She had sounded panicked, but hopeful, and I had wanted to be there. I had wanted to be there, to hold her, to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

  But I couldn’t.

  I was telling myself that I just needed to speak to the lawyers and I wanted it all to be over. Since the boy had called, I thought it was going to be easy.

  We met outside of the lawyer’s office. She looked tired, wearing a topknot and a black dress that fell to her knees. Even though she looked tired, she was beautiful.

  “Hey,” I said. “I’m sorry the meeting happened so late.”

  “It’s okay. It’s better like this for me, I can get out of work a little early, just so I can come to the lawyer’s office.”

  “Did you tell them?”

  She nodded. “Yes. I have to. I couldn’t just leave.”

  “How did they react?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. I opened the door to let her go in before I did. I watched her as she walked into the building, then closed the door softly behind myself. She loo
ked at me as she waited. “It seemed okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Residency is hard. Everything is a little… Up in the air.”

  “Right.”

  “They are supportive,” she said, waving her hand in front of her face as she clarified. “I just, I can’t help but be a little ashamed.”

  We walked through the reception as we made our way towards the elevator.

  “Ashamed of what?”

  She called the elevator before she turned to look back at me. “Of all this. I’m supposed to be keeping my head down, not getting sued. I’m supposed to be helping people, not centering myself.”

  “You didn’t ask for this.”

  “I know,” she said. The elevator dinged as the doors opened. We both stepped inside, and I was surprised to see that there was nobody in there. She took a step in, then I followed her. “You didn’t ask for this either.”

  “I didn’t.”

  She pressed the button to get to the seventh floor. Neither one of us said anything, and it wasn’t until the elevator started to move that she spoke about the kid. “Neither does he,” she said. “He really doesn’t.”

  “What did he say exactly?” I asked.

  She shook her head, leaning against the hard walls of the elevator. “He said that his parents didn’t know that he was calling. He said they would’ve been furious.”

  I sighed, standing next to her. “That’s wild. How old is the kid?”

  She shook her head again. She shrugged her shoulders before she spoke. “No idea.”

  “You know his name, right?”

  She nodded. “Why?”

  “Maybe we can find them on social media or something.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” She asked.

  “I don’t know. Probably not,” I replied. “But the kid found your phone number, right?”

  “Yes,” she said. The elevator dinged as we arrived on the seventh floor. “But he was breaking the rules, I think.”