Misunderstood

by Kaylee, Katy

  “Outside of football,” I clarified. “He’s starting from a pretty big deficit. I suppose you know that if you get injured and can’t play, your appeal will drop like a lead balloon.”

  Ryder sat back with his hands clasped over his abdomen like he didn’t have a care in the world, but his jaw tensed and his knee bounced like he was agitated. Good. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. I enjoyed putting him in his place.

  “Why is it you’re so averse to visiting sick kids in a hospital or some other good-will work?” I asked.

  “Ryder is a private man,” Mr. Rasnor said.

  This time I was able to hold back the snort, but I lifted a brow in a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me expression. I turned to my computer and did an image search using Ryder’s name. When the results came up, I turned the screen to them.

  “You mean private like this?” The screen was filled with images of Ryder with women, getting into fisticuffs with the other team’s fans or in a bar, and various other questionable behaviors. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it, Mr. Malloy?”

  If I’d jumped over the desk and pummeled Ryder, I don’t think my statement would have stunned him more. To be honest, it surprised me that came from my lips. It was a testament to how much I hated him that I’d compare him to his drunken, abusive father.

  The shock and the pain that crossed his face almost made me feel bad. Almost, but not quite.

  He turned to Rasnor. “Let’s go.”

  Mr. Rasnor’s eyes narrowed at me, and I knew he’d probably complain to my boss, which would then lead to me getting a lecture about being unprofessional.

  Then he turned to Ryder, “If you want to secure your financial future, we need this.” Then he turned back to me. “Can I have a minute with my client?”

  I shrugged and stood. “Want coffee or something?”

  Both men shook their heads. I walked out of the office, not sure if I was glad or worried about Ryder not wanting to hire me. I truly didn’t want to represent him, and at the same time, he could be the client that got me moving upward in my career. And if I could change his bad-boy image, holy cow, I’d be seen as a PR genius. I had to admit, there was an appeal to that. All I’d have to do is swallow my hate for him, which I felt certain I couldn’t do.

  At this point, I might not have a choice. Depending on what Mr. Rasnor and Ryder decided, I could be out no matter what.

  I left my office and headed toward the coffee machine.

  “Not even you can make Ryder Malloy into a media darling.” Alan laughed and shook his head. “No one could.”

  My inner competitor rose up. “Wanna bet?”

  He cocked his head. “Think about what you’re saying, Lawton.”

  “I am. Name the terms.” I didn’t know what I was doing Alan was right. It would take a miracle to make Ryder look like an angel. But I didn’t like Alan questioning my PR talent.

  “I’ll make it easy. At least one multi-million dollar endorsement. It can’t be for condoms or sex toys though.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re on.” I couldn’t believe I was doing this. “What do I get if I win?”

  “My undying admiration.”

  I smirked. “You’re worried I’ll pull it off.”

  “I’ll never count you out, Lawton. But how about the winner buys the other Super Bowl tickets? It’s in Arizona next year.”

  I studied him, wondering who on his roster might give him free tickets, while I’d have to fork out several thousand dollars because I didn’t have a client that could give me tickets.

  But it wouldn’t matter. If Ryder hired me, I’d get him a deal if it killed me. “You’re on.”

  “You’re a glutton for punishment, Lawton.” Alan laughed as he shook his head.

  “And you are underestimating my powers, Alan.”

  Ryder

  I felt like I was in a nightmare. In a recurring one I’d had as a child; I was trying to run from my father chasing me with his belt. My feet were scrambling as fast as they could, but I wasn’t moving, and he always caught me. This time though, instead of running, I was doing everything I could to behave, and yet, all my past misdeeds were chasing me down. Like Scrooge, in a Christmas Carol, and Katie… Kate was the ghost of Christmas past.

  I had no illusions that Katie… Kate wouldn’t hate me. I’d led her on. Well, sort of. I’d told her I’d wanted to keep seeing her four years ago when we hooked up, and that was the truth. There’d been something about her that I couldn’t get enough of and it wasn’t just the sex. Katie... fuck it, that’s how I know her... was the only woman who’d ever looked at me and seemed to see the real me. She liked me and didn’t see only the money and muscles from being in the NFL. But I’d figured out quickly that she believed Danny’s story that I’d slept with his fiancé, and so I’d left. I might be damaged goods from my parents, but I had enough self-respect to avoid relationships with people who didn’t believe in me. It still burned in my gut that both she and Danny would believe I’d screwed his fiance. He told me I was no friend of his, but the truth was, by not believing me, he was no friend of mine.

  What I hadn’t known about Katie was that she could be cruel enough to suggest I’d become my father. She knew the things that man did to me. I knew she’d dislike me because she believed Danny, but comparing me to my father, that was a stab to the heart.

  “Ryder.” Ray sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but if you want to clean up your image and get endorsements, we need Ms. Lawton’s help. In fact, growing up together could be an advantage. She knew you before you were the bad boy of the NFL.”

  I hated the term bad boy, although I accepted that my past behavior had earned it. Sort of. Yes, I liked women. The fights? Well, as far as I was concerned, each one was justified. People shouldn’t be allowed to do certain things, and I was big and strong enough to stop it.

  “She hates me.” It killed me the way she looked at me with such disdain in those beautiful gray eyes. Jesus, those amazing gray eyes still got to me.

  Ray rubbed the bridge of his nose, a sure sign he was getting ready to give up. “Maybe that’s a good thing, too.”

  “How can she make me look good if all she sees is the man who—” I broke off, not wanting to spill the dirt. No, not dirt. Lies. Lies she and her brother believed about me. Even four years later, that pain seared deep in my soul. My father was a terrible man, and Danny’s family saved me. I owed everything I had to them. They’d become my family, but in an instant, they’d believed a lie and turned their back on me.

  “If you can win her over, you’ll win everyone over.”

  “Win her over? I’m not going to seduce her.” The weekend we had together four years ago flashed in my brain. It was always a bittersweet memory. The thing with Danny pissed me off, but Katie had been so sweet. Initially, when she’d approached me in the bar, I’d thought she’d known what had happened and believed me. But it became clear that she didn’t know about my fight with Danny. Because I was selfish, I kept it to myself, wanting to have a connection with her.

  She’d given herself, body and soul, to me. I remembered wanting to stay in that little apartment of hers forever. But the minute I left, I knew when she talked to Danny, she’d be on his side. Of course, she would because they were a real family. I was just the feral stray they’d taken in.

  “Not seduce her.” He huffed out a breath. “Is everything about sex with you?”

  I clenched my jaw.

  “Make her see the good in you. It’s there Ryder. Why you hide it, I don’t know. She’s your last hope. No one wants to work with you.”

  “I’m a top athlete.”

  “Who got injured, and no one knows if you’re going to be one-hundred percent this year. They don’t want to take on someone who gets bad press and doesn’t play well.”

  I’d brought this on myself. I’d been caught up in living life full-steam ahead. Then I got hit, resulting in a concussion and shoulder injury that kept me ou
t of the championship game, and, as far as I was concerned, was why we lost and missed going to the Super Bowl.

  That hit also knocked into me the realization that football wasn’t something I’d be able to do forever. I had money, now, but I wasn’t sure it would last the rest of my life. If I wanted a secure, comfortable future, I needed to earn more, and do that, I’d need endorsements. But no one wanted me to represent their brand. Hence the meeting with Katie.

  “Fine.” I felt defeated. Maybe I should consider getting another degree in case I needed to go to work. Or maybe I could become a stuntman in Hollywood, although that job probably had a short life-span as well.

  “She will probably want you to do appearances.”

  I cringed.

  “And you’ll have to stop acting out.”

  I turned to him. “I haven’t ‘acted out’ since my injury.” It was the truth. Once I knew I’d need to get endorsements to secure my financial future, I’d known I’d need to clean up my act. I hadn’t been in the tabloids or news since then. Maybe the head injury changed my brain because I didn’t miss the party life. Well, I missed sex because a few tugs on my dick in the shower wasn’t the same as sliding in and out of a woman’s pussy or mouth. But the rest of it, I didn’t miss at all.

  “Let’s keep that up.”

  The door opened and Kate peeked her head in. “Have you had enough time to chat?”

  Ray stood, like a gentleman, but I remained sitting because sometimes I was just a petulant child.

  “Yes. We’d like to discuss what ideas you might for Ryder.”

  There was a look in those gray eyes that said she had some ideas that probably involved kicking my ass.

  “Good.” She sat behind her desk picked up a pen. “First then. No sex.”

  I smirked, letting my adolescent asshole out. “But I’m so good at it.”

  “Ryder.” Ray chastised me.

  I gave my signature grin. “Sorry, old habits.” But I’d seen the flash of heat in her eyes. She hated me, but she hadn’t forgotten that weekend. Good. Because since I’d given up going out, the only orgasms I’d had were from my hand and remembering her gray eyes every time I made her come that weekend. At first, it had been unsettling that she was the woman getting me off in my fantasies, but, I accepted that for some reason, she’d become a part of me and her memory would get me off when I needed to blow my load.

  Looking at her now, I liked to think the hate I saw from her would cool my jets, but she was even more beautiful than I remembered. The eyes were the same, but she carried herself differently. She’d always been able to call me on my bullshit, but it had been a surprise when it happened because she’d always had a demure innocence about her. But now she carried that attitude on the outside. Her suit made her look confidence and sexy. Her hair was still long, and my fingers twitched at the memory of running my fingers through its strands.

  “This is what we have to change about you, Mr. Malloy; your old habits.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I could be formal too.

  “What I’d like to do is set up an appointment to meet with Mr. Malloy tomorrow so I can get to know him better and make a plan that will fit with his goals and interests.” The words came out in rote; like she’d said them a million times before. She was going to treat me as a client, and only a client. I supposed that was a good thing. If she could keep her hatred of me to herself, I could keep my feelings to myself too.

  Even as I thought it, my stomach churned. I hated that Danny hadn’t believed me, but for some reason, it was worse that she didn’t believe me either. She’d never even asked me if I’d slept with Phoebe. I’d texted her about my trade to San Diego before I left Nashville, but she never responded, and that’s how I knew she’d chosen Danny’s lie over my truth.

  That weekend with her four years ago had made me think that maybe I could be a different man. But in the end, she was like the rest. She’d only seen me as a pretty-boy roll in the sack. After that, I decided to own the role, and as it turned out I was good at it. Too good, because now it was keeping me from getting the money I needed to live after I retired from football.

  “That sounds good. How about someplace less formal? There’s that restaurant you like out along the beach near La Jolla,” Ray said toward me. “Would you be willing to drive that far south, Ms. Lawton?”

  She nodded. “Yes.” Ray gave her the restaurant that I liked to hang out in near my home. Everyone knew me there, but they didn’t treat me like I was anyone special, which was nice when I just wanted peace and quiet.

  She gave me some papers to sign, and once Ray looked them over, I scrawled my signature on them. Then she stood, which I supposed was our cue to leave.

  Ray rose and reached out his hand to Katie. “Thank you for your time, Ms. Lawton.”

  “Of course.” She extended her hand out to me, but I knew it was because she wanted to look professional. “Mr. Malloy.”

  I wanted to be surly and contrary, but I checked myself. “Ms. Lawton.” I took her hand in mine. It was warm and firm, and I remembered how that hand had massaged my dick. Blood rushed to my cock, but I blocked it by reminding myself she didn’t believe in me.

  Ray and I left her office and headed back south toward San Diego. Most of the ride, he yammered on, lecturing me about behaving, and coming up with ideas about what companies might be a good fit for endorsements.

  When he dropped me off at my home in La Jolla, he finished by saying, “Don’t agitate Ms. Lawton, Ryder. I know you’re going to have to do some things you don’t like or hear some hard truths, but if you want to change your image, you need to suck it up.”

  I managed a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. “I’ll behave.”

  I went into my home and headed for the bar, pouring myself a shot of whiskey and then headed out on to my large terrace overlooking the ocean.

  My home was my biggest extravagance. It sat on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Every room on the ocean side had floor to ceiling windows. The home was secluded with a private walk to the beach, allowing me privacy which I needed more and more.

  I downed my drink, wanting to push away the pain and regret that was pulled to the surface by seeing Katie again. Four years ago, I’d given her the impression she’d be my girl and at the time I’d meant it. She’d been the calming force to the storm that always seemed to brew in my life.

  But when she didn’t respond to my text after my trade to the Orcas, I’d known Danny had gotten to her and I was too proud to beg. Besides, I was moving to southern California, and it didn’t seem likely she’d want to leave Missouri and live too far from her parents. Turned out I was wrong, because here she was, living in Los Angeles. If I’d reached out and told her my side of the story four years ago, would she have believed me? Would she have followed me out here?

  I scoffed at my own foolishness. What’s done is done, Malloy. Besides, it probably would have never worked. We got caught up in each other for a couple of days, but that’s all it was. Sex.

  I walked back inside, putting my glass in the dishwasher. I went to my room, changed into workout shorts and then headed down to the beach. A run along the water would help settle my emotions. When I got back, I’d do my shoulder rehab exercises and strength training. I had a few months left before I headed back to training camp. My financial future didn’t just rely on my being able to convince companies I was a good guy, but also, in playing the best football I could. The Orcas nearly made it to the big game, and this year I was determined that not only would we get to the Super Bowl but also, we’d win.

  Katie

  I sat at my desk, second-guessing whether I should have accepted Ryder as a client. What he did to me, and to my brother, was unforgivable. It felt like a betrayal to Danny to help Ryder improve his image and achieve greater success when Danny was struggling.

  To see Ryder sitting across my desk had filled me with such hate, and something else. Regret? I didn’t know why. I had done nothing wron
g. Ryder was the one who’d betrayed my family.

  But I hadn’t ever confronted him about it. After that night Danny told us what happened, and we saw Ryder on TV, I saw a text from him that had come in earlier in the day. It was about being traded, but didn’t say much else. I’d deleted it, too angry at him to respond. But what if I had? What would he have said? Would it have changed my opinion of him or what had happened?

  I shook my head. How could he have responded if I asked him for the truth? Yes, I fucked your brother’s fiancé? It had to be true. Why would Phoebe confess to it if it wasn’t true? There was nothing he could have said that made a difference. I thought I was in love with Ryder, then, but there was no way I could love a man who would do something so awful to a friend.

  I rubbed my eyes. Why had my brother married her? Yes, Ryder could be difficult to resist. I knew this first hand. But still, it’s not like he hypnotized Phoebe. Danny was wrong not to put some of the blame on her. I suspected that she was already pregnant by then and that’s why he still married her, although he never said and I never asked.

  Sitting back in my chair, I wondered how I was going to fix Ryder’s image, assuming I could keep my bias in check. The only thing he had going for him was he could play football and he was sexy as sin. That hadn’t changed. In fact, he was better looking now. His shoulders were broader, his eyes a deeper blue, and, if I was honest, the bad boy ruggedness made him sexier. When he shook my hand, all I could think about was how that hand had caressed my body. A part of me wondered if I’d be able to resist him this time around.

  Don’t be ridiculous. He doesn’t see you like that. He never did. Not really. I’d been a warm willing body he’d needed that weekend after he’d betrayed my brother. Had I’d known what he’d done, I wouldn’t have slept with him. The fact that he’d slept with Phoebe, and then later that night, slept with me, still made me sick to my stomach.