Misunderstood

by Kaylee, Katy

  I swallowed, not enjoying feeling like a pussy. But the truth was what it was.

  He pursed his lips. “You’re full of bullshit, Ryder if you think your parents have tainted your character. Your father was an asshole. Your mother a coward. They took the easy way out. But you—” He leaned forward, pointing his finger at me. “You rose out of all of that. You worked hard. You’re a good person. And look at you!” He sat back and his eyes shone with pride. “You’re amazing. And if some woman doesn’t see that in you, she’s not worthy.”

  “I thought she saw me, but…” I let it drop because I couldn’t figure out what to say. Katie often made noises like she saw the real me, but then she’d back off, letting me know that she didn’t really see me, she just was creating a persona of me to share with the world.

  “Does she know how you feel?”

  “She doesn’t want her name associated with mine. I doubt telling her my feelings will change that.”

  George frowned. “I know you’ve been working on it, but you do have a reputation with the ladies. It’s possible she’s afraid of that. Or thinks she’s just the next in a long line of women.”

  I shook my head. “She can’t think that.”

  “Why not? If you haven’t told her differently, how would she know?”

  I paused, thinking over my uncle’s statement. Was it possible Katie thought she was just another woman to me? I’d made love to her other night. Surely, she had to have felt that? Except, she’d kicked me out and didn’t deny that she didn’t want to be associated with me in that way. That wasn’t fear of being a notch on my bedpost, that was fear of being seen by the world as a notch on my bedpost.

  “Listen, I wanted Nora from the first minute she moved in here, but like you, I played it coy and cool, and she ended up with Eddie Caskle, the prick.” George pursed his lips and shook his head in disdain. “Once she had caught him with Mrs. Clement—”

  “Mrs. Clement? Pickleball champ Mrs. Clement?”

  “That’s her. When he was caught playing pickle with her, Nora dumped his ass. I didn’t waste any time after that telling her what I thought about her. At my age, in particular, you can’t waste time. But neither can you at your age, Ryder. Life is short. If you love this—”

  “I don’t know about love.”

  “If you care about her and want a relationship, you have to tell her.”

  I was mulling over his words when a football landed by my chair. “Come play, Ryder!” Michael called from the grassy area.

  I played with the kids for a half-hour, enjoying throwing the ball again and watching children play just for the joy of the game. I’d have to remember that when the season started.

  Afterwards, I had a drink with my uncle and Nora, watching him with her and realizing how happy he looked. Could I have that?

  When I left, heading north, I’d intended to go home, but soon I was passing my exit and I went to see Katie. My stomach filled with nerves. I could handle a defensive line coming at me with the goal of knocking me down into the dirt, and assholes like JC, but confessing my intentions to Katie had me in a cold sweat. Knowing my interest in her was more than just an affair didn’t mean she’d change her mind about the type of man I was or give up her conviction that I had to be unhitched for PR purposes.

  I reached her condo in the early evening, noting her car was parked in her spot. She was at home. For a moment, I wondered if she was alone. Shit. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle it if she was entertaining another man.

  I checked around the complex to make sure no paparazzi were hanging about in case they had the same idea the radio hosts had about me and Katie. But as far as I could tell, no one was lurking.

  I got out of the car and with my head down and I took the steps to her second-level condo two at a time. I stood outside her door for longer than was customary, but finally, with a deep breath, I knocked on her door.

  It was several minutes before she answered. She was wearing an old Nashville Copperheads jersey with my number on it. That had to be a good sign, right?

  “Ryder.” Her eyes shone with surprise and maybe regret.

  “Can I talk to you?”

  “Sure.” She opened the door to let me in. “I heard the interview this morning.”

  “Oh.” I stood in the middle of her living room feeling completely out of my element. I liked being a tall, broad man most of the time. But standing in the middle of her tiny living room, I felt more like an inept oaf.

  “You did a good job dispelling the idea that there was something between us.”

  “I can follow directions,” I said it a little, and she looked down. “The thing is, Katie, I don’t like lying.”

  She looked up.

  “I know I have a reputation but do I really have to give up my life to change that?”

  “You feel like you’re giving up your life?” Her expression saddened at that.

  “I had to give up you, didn’t I?”

  Her breath hitched.

  Before she could open her mouth, I continued. “There are players in the league who have wives and girlfriends, so why to do I have to be celibate?”

  “Ryder—”

  “Let me finish, please.” I didn’t know what I was saying, only that I had to make her see that we could have something good.

  She nodded and sat on her couch. I was too wound up to sit, so I paced. “I know I’m not good enough for you—”

  “That’s not—”

  I gave her a hard look for interrupting. “And maybe people will think you’re my next conquest, but why does the public get a say in my life?” I looked at her for a moment, wondering if I was wasting my time. “If you don’t want this, tell me and I’ll let it go, but I think we have something good here, Katie.”

  She looked down and my heart stalled in my chest. When she looked up, her eyes had filled with tears, but they hadn’t dropped yet. “You’ve said this to me before and then you left.”

  It took me a moment to realize she meant four years ago. “I meant it then and I mean it now.”

  “And yet you left.”

  Back to that. Why couldn’t we just move past that? Act like it never happened and start from scratch today.

  Clearly we couldn’t, so I told her the only thing I could. “You didn’t believe me.” A part of me felt like I had a chance to convince her of my sincerity and another part felt like she was slipping away.

  “How do you know? We never talked about it.”

  I looked away as anger started to rise. She seemed to have forgotten the part she played back then. I turned back. “You ignored my text. That was my answer.”

  She sighed, and when she looked down this time, regret showing on her face. I wanted to ask her about it. I wanted to ask her if she believed me now that I hadn’t been with Phoebe. But this was here and now. This was what was important.

  “Katie, all I’m asking is the chance to show that what I’m saying now is the truth. I want to be with you. Only you.”

  She bit her lower lip, and her eyes filled with emotion. “I want to believe you.”

  Jesus, she was killing me. “Let me prove it to you.”

  She stood up, and launched herself in my arms, knocking me backward. I gripped her tightly, steadying us both and I kissed her hard as relief flooded every cell of my body. She was giving me a chance.

  She pulled back and grabbed my ears.

  “Ouch.”

  “Don’t you ever say to me that you think you’re not good enough. I’ll pop your balls for that if you do it again.”

  I winced at the thought. “I won’t say it again.”

  “Good. Now, get naked.”

  I grinned. “Is this part where we kiss and make up?”

  “Yep.”

  We disrobed, but before I could maneuver her to a surface where I could adequately make her mine again, she dropped to her knees and sucked my dick full-hilt into her mouth.

  “Holy fucking hell.” Pleasure shot out in sparks as
her hot mouth devoured my cock. My fingers laced through her long dark tresses, holding her to me.

  “I want to make you come, Ryder.”

  “Ah fuck.” Her words ratcheted up the pleasure. “You keep that up and you will.” She ran her tongue down my length and then focused on the sensitive ridge along the head. Liquid heat ran through my body. “So good… ah yes… suck my cock.”

  She took it deep again, my tip hitting the back of her throat, making me wild. I wanted to thrust into her mouth but worried about hurting her.

  She released my cock, and I let out a frustrated growl until her hand stroked me and her mouth sucked my balls.

  “Katie. What are you doing to me?” She wasn’t the first woman to give me a blow job, but I didn’t remember a woman making feel so crazy with sensation and emotion. It was like they were both jumbled together. Like she wasn’t just stroking my cock, but my very soul. “I’m going to come, baby. Shit… I can’t hold it.”

  She gripped my cock hard, stopping my release. She replaced her hand with her mouth, and holy hell, she sucked and pumped my cock with her mouth until I was going mad.

  “Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.” My hips moved with her as the pleasure built to obscene heights and then burst. I yelled out, “Ahh... I’m coming,” and I shot my load into her pretty mouth on a long groan. She continued to suck my cock, and fondle my balls, as I continued to pump my cum into her mouth until it was dripping from her lips. It trickled down her chin, dropping onto her tits. I was in fucking heaven.

  I dropped to my knees, and kissed her hard, wanting to taste the mixture of her and me and our pleasure. I lapped my cum from her mouth, her chin and her tits.

  “You’re amazing.” I rolled us on the floor until she was on top. “Ride my face baby, let me return the favor.”

  “What?” She looked confused, so I maneuvered myself down until my face was under her pussy.

  I stuck my tongue out and licked her clit. “Ride my face. I want to make you come so hard I can drink your pussy juice.”

  Her breath hitched, and I saw the first bit of essence coating her pussy.

  “That’s right baby.” I put my hands on her hips and lowered her to me so I could feast on her sweet pussy.

  “Oh God, Ryder.” She gasped, but she was under my spell. Her hips gyrated as they fucked my face.

  I wrapped my hands around her ass, kneading those magnificent globes as my mouth and tongue devoured her. When I heard the telltale keening, I knew she was close. I thrust my tongue inside her and shook my head to massage her clit.

  “Yes, yes… there Ryder… so good, oh… I’m coming.”

  Her pussy squeezed around my tongue and her juices gushed into my mouth. I licked and lapped, drawing out her orgasm until she collapsed next to me. But by then I was hard again.

  I rolled over her, positioning my dick at her pussy entrance. “Katie.”

  She eyes opened, looking dazed but sated. “Fuck me, Ryder.”

  Those were quickly becoming my favorite words. I’d never tire of hearing her ask me to fuck her.

  I plunged in, loving how she cried out my name as her head tilted back. I dropped my head, gently sucking on the sensitive skin of her neck, as pumped in and out of her, strong and steady.

  “More, harder,” she gasped.

  Wanting to make my woman happy, I levered up on my hands, and gave her more and harder, until, together, we climbed the pinnacle and then shattered in ultimate bliss. As I came down from the high and held her in my arms, I felt a sense of calm, peace, and belonging. I hoped it would become my new normal.

  Katie

  Nothing had really changed. Ryder was still making my job hard by limiting the PR events he was willing to do. I was still risking my job by sleeping with a client. And I still wasn’t sure I could completely trust him. Not that I thought he was lying to me about how he felt about us, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that once the football season started and he was traveling where throngs of women would throw themselves at him, he’d move on. And then there was the issue of Danny. I couldn’t resolve their differing accounts of what happened.

  But I kept putting all that aside because when we were together, and it was just us, it was fantastic. And not just the sex, although that was spectacular. Yes, we still bickered and challenged each other, but I’d realized he liked that about me. In a world in which he could surround himself with “yes men,” he enjoyed knowing that I’d tell him the truth. He’d taken me to the vet community, and I met his uncle George and all his friends, who thought the world of him. The hardest part was knowing that these people could change public perception of Ryder but not being able to organize anything. After getting to know George and the others, I was sure they’d be game for something. But I had to respect Ryder’s wishes.

  The other thing that hadn’t changed was that our past was still a topic neither of us wanted to talk about. A part of me wondered what would happen if our relationship went to the next level. How would Danny take it? My parents? But again, I pushed that away because I was enjoying my life too much. Six weeks had passed since Ryder came back into my life, and for the first time I had a job I loved and a man who rocked my world. I didn’t want to mess up a good thing... a great thing.

  But as I stood in my bathroom this morning, I realized that all the great parts of my life could come crashing down. After two days of not feeling great and scanning all the possible reasons from food poisoning to the flu, I realized I hadn’t had my period. I checked my pill packet and all the little pills were gone, including the inert ones during which I should have had my period. In that moment, I wished I was one of those people whose period was irregular., since starting on the pill, I’d never been late or missed a period. That was one of the perks of birth control.

  I sat in the bathroom on the edge of my tub as the ramifications of this sunk in. What would happen if I was pregnant? I believed Ryder would step up, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be upset. It was possible he’d think I’d lied about the pill. He hadn’t used condoms because I told him it was safe not to. Would he think I’d tricked him? Or worse, he might think I was getting back at him for what happened to Danny.

  An unplanned pregnancy also wouldn’t help his image, which was improving, but still had a ways to go. We’d been lucky that the fight with JC made Ryder look like a hero.

  The first thing I needed to do was take a test, and I had to buy one. That meant going out in public. While media interest in me following the JC-Ryder incident died down, and Ryder and I were keeping our relationship on the down-low, that didn’t mean there wasn’t some paparazzi opportunist out there looking for a story. And boy would this be a scoop. I had to deal with this so no one would find out.

  I drove to one of the burbs north of the city, and wearing loose clothes and a ball cap to disguise myself in case anyone might recognize me as Ryder’s PR person, I went into a drug store, bought two tests, and then hurried home. Then I was back in my bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub after peeing on a stick, and waiting to learn my fate. After the requisite five minutes, I looked at the little stick.

  PREGNANT

  Oh God. My stomach fluttered with a mixture of nerves and panic. And yet, I couldn’t deny a little excitement too. I was going to be a mom. The feeling was heady.

  But maybe it was a mistake. A false positive. I opened the second package from a different brand and retook the test. I sat for another five minutes that felt like an eternity and then checked the results.

  PREGNANT

  I took a few deep breaths to settle my nerves and then texted Ryder that I needed to see him. He texted back within minutes saying he was home and did I want to go to him or for him to come to my place? Deciding I’d need the drive to formulate what I’d say, I told him I’d drive down to his place. He asked if everything was okay since we hadn’t made plans to see each other tonight. I only responded that I’d be there in two hours.

  Two hours and five minutes later, I was on
Ryder’s terrace, wishing the ocean could help calm the jitters I was feeling. I was scared to death he was going to be angry. Or that he’d suggest something that I didn’t want to do. Or worse, suggest that someone else was the father.

  I stood by the railing, holding on to it like it was a lifeline.

  “What’s going on, Katie?” Ryder ran a hand over my arm and up to my shoulder. “Did something happen?”

  “I’ve got to tell you something.” My voice was shaking, as were my hands. This wasn’t how sharing pregnancy news should be. It should be a joyous moment. But I was scared to death.

  “Okay. Is it bad? Is a tabloid about to expose us?”

  I was looking down because I was too scared to look at him. But I had to look at him. Gathering my strength, I lifted my gaze to his.

  He gave a small smile. “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out. Or I will. Whatever needs to happen.”

  I inhaled a breath. “Ryder, I’m pregnant.”

  His facial expression didn’t change and for a moment I wondered if he heard me or maybe he was processing the information and wasn’t sure what he felt.

  I pressed on to let him know that I hadn’t lied to him or tricked him. “I really was on the pill, but I guess something went wrong. I know this isn’t a—” I stopped mid-sentence as a slow smile spread on his face until he was beaming.

  “A baby?”

  I nodded. “I have the pee stick to prove it. Two actually.”

  “Katie.” His hands cradled my face, and he kissed me.

  I accepted his kiss, a little stunned by his response. “This isn’t what I’d expected.”

  “You thought I wouldn’t want a baby?”

  “I was afraid you’d think I tricked you.”

  “I didn’t use a condom which would have been extra protection. It’s one of my rules I’ve broken since being with you.” His smile was sweet as he looked down on me. It was throwing me off.

  “But I was on the pill.”

  He frowned. “Are you not happy about this?”