Misunderstood

by Kaylee, Katy

  “It’s going to make people feel sorry for me.”

  “I don’t feel sorry for you, Ryder and people won’t either. They’ll admire your ability to overcome a difficult childhood. It will inspire them.” I could see in his eyes he didn’t believe it. “Why I came here, though, is to apologize. I shouldn’t have gotten upset about you wanting to take care of the baby. Of course, you’ll want to do that. You’re the father.”

  His expression suggested he wasn’t sure if he could trust what I was saying. “Then why did you?”

  I sighed. “I resented you not thinking I could do it on my own.”

  “I don’t think you can’t do it—”

  “I know. That’s just how I took it. I’m sorry.”

  The tension in his jaw lessened, but we were a long way from okay.

  “I also believe you’re a good man. I get annoyed at how hard you make my job and how you often perceive my actions as meaning I think you’re less than. I don’t think that Ryder. Truth be known, I’ve admired you since I was twelve years old.”

  “Twelve?”

  I nodded. “That was when I first started noticing boys. Or I should say, boy, because no one has ever compared to you.” I gave a wan smile. “You know it’s true. You were my first and so far, my only.”

  He closed his eyes, and all the rest of the tension drained. When he opened them, his facial features were soft and gentle. “I’m sorry too. I know I’m soft skinned. And I shouldn’t have said all that about you dealing in lies. You’re important to me, Katie. You and the baby.”

  I stepped toward him, hoping we were close to a truce. “You’re important to me too.” I pressed my hand to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “And about the bet… I made that when Alan was baiting me.”

  “I figured it wasn’t that important to you otherwise you’d have ignored my input and shoved me in front of cute puppies or children or something.”

  Relief washed through me. “I wouldn’t mind beating him, but it’s not my focus.”

  He let out a breath and then took the final step of wrapping his arms around me. There was still no talk about Danny and four years ago, but I knew, as he probably did, there was no way to go there without disrupting everything. As it was, our relationship was a roller coaster ride of conflict and bliss. We fought, we made up.

  Knowing we might venture back into the fighting before we fully made up, I said, “You do have a secret life.”

  His brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”

  “You accused me dealing in lies, but you’ve been selling a lie too. The women and fighting—”

  “Those weren’t lies per se.”

  “But they’re not the truth either. You’re okay with that persona, but don’t want people to know the other side of you. You keep it a secret.”

  He shrugged and walked to his bar, pouring himself a shot of whiskey. He then pulled out a bottle of water and held it up to me.

  I shook my head. I didn’t want water, I wanted to reach him. “I think I understand why you keep that hidden.”

  “I told you, I don’t want to exploit people for my gain.”

  I nodded. “I believe that, but also, I think there’s more to it.”

  He downed his drink. “Is this the part where you act as my shrink.”

  “There is a psychology to PR.” I gave a wan smile, hoping to keep this discussion from veering off into anger. “I also think there is a part of you that doesn’t want to be vulnerable to the public.”

  “I don’t care about that.”

  “You say that, but then you also say you don’t want people to feel sorry for you. Somehow, you think sharing the sensitive side of you makes you look weak.”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  I studied him. “Not weak then, but it makes you vulnerable.” My thoughts started to gel. “Open to rejection.”

  His jaw clenched, and he turned to look out the window where the moon was hanging like a dewdrop over the ocean.

  “It’s one thing to have negative press over playboy behavior, but to be yourself and have the public find some fault, that would be difficult.”

  “What’s the point of this discussion?” He poured another drink.

  “The public would love the Ryder Malloy I’ve come to know over the last few months. You just have to be willing to let them see some other parts of you. Parts that you only let your uncle see.”

  He looked at me with hard blue eyes. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “I let you see it.”

  My heart filled with warmth and I realized that was part of our problem. When I was focused on the PR stuff, I wasn’t acknowledging the parts of him he was letting me see. “You do, and it means a lot to me.” I walked over to him, taking his glass and setting it down. Then I took his hands in mine. “I’m sorry that I seem to only care about your image, but it’s so frustrating to see the man I know and not be able to share it with the public.”

  He sighed. “Why do they care so much?”

  I laughed. “I don’t know. But they do and because they do is why companies pay for endorsements. Maybe you should think of it as a game.”

  “It’s a racket.”

  I snorted. “Maybe, but you came to me wanting endorsements. To do that, we need to make the public want more of you. And what I’m saying Ryder, is that I don’t have to sell a lie to do that. You have everything the public is clamoring for already. You just have to let them see it.”

  He nodded and dropped his forehead against mine. “I get it.”

  “Good.”

  We stood, head to head, for a few moments. “Can you stay?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  He lifted his head, his blue gaze looking into my eyes. “Even if the paparazzi catch you leaving in the morning?”

  That scared me, but it was less about Ryder’s or my reputation, and more about being in the spotlight as his next woman. “Yes.”

  He smiled, and it was radiant, making my heart flutter from its beauty. “Can we make love?”

  “Since when do you ask permission?” I laughed, looping my arms around his neck.

  “Since you’re pregnant and I don’t know if it’s okay.”

  “It’s okay,” I assured him.

  He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. “We’ll need a bed. We have lots of making up to do.”

  Ryder

  A part of me wondered if what Katie and I had was sustainable. We seemed to have only two speeds; passionately involved and passionately annoyed. But baby or not, I couldn’t get her out of my system. I had to hope that over time, we’d sort things out. This meant having a serious conversation about Danny. Not only a complete hashing out of what happened but also, dealing with his response when he learned I was with Katie and we were having a baby. Based on our last conversation, I was certain he wouldn’t take it well. I had to hope and trust that he wouldn’t be able to turn Katie against me again.

  I pushed all my concerns and worries aside because they had no room in my life right now. Right now, I was touching Katie. My hand moved over her belly and I kissed her there, marveling at the life growing inside her. A life I helped create. Fucking amazing.

  Soon, she pushed me on my back and rose over me, taking me inside her luscious body. She felt so good riding my dick. I reached up squeezing her tits, loving how it made her pussy contract on me.

  “Ryder.” She threw her head back, and she was so beautiful as her tits bounced and her body sought its release.

  “Come on me, baby.” I brushed my thumb over her swollen clit and she cried out as her pussy contracted hard around my cock, making me grunt and bite my lip to keep from coming. I focused on her, and the perfect O her mouth made as her orgasm overtook her body. She rode me until finally, she sagged, her hands planted on my chest as she worked to catch her breath.

  “You didn’t come with me.”

  I shook my head. “Not yet. I like watching yo
u.”

  She blushed, and it was adorable. “That’s embarrassing.”

  “Why? It lets me know I’m pleasing you.”

  She bit her lip in that way she did when she was horny mixed with embarrassment. “I want to watch you.”

  “Okay. It’s not easy. It takes a lot of will power to postpone your own pleasure and focus on watching your partner.”

  She frowned. “You don’t think I can do it?”

  I rubbed my hands on her thighs. “I’ll never underestimate you, Katie.”

  She rocked on my dick, and I hissed at the spark of pleasure that shot out. “Do you ever jerk off?”

  “Yes, less so now that I’ve got you.”

  She cocked her head to the side and had an expression that suggested my forthrightness surprised her.

  “How about you, Katie? Do you touch yourself?”

  She smiled coyly. “Sometimes.”

  I rose up, wrapping my arms around her and looking into those lovely gray eyes. “Do you think of me when you do?”

  She looked down, as if she was embarrassed. “Yes.”

  Thrilled by that, I rolled her under me. “Someday I want to watch you make yourself come.”

  “Ryder.” She turned her head, as her blush spread to her neck.

  I didn’t have that same embarrassment. The idea of jerking off with her watching me was a turn on. “Do you want to watch me come?”

  She looked up at me. “Yes.”

  I levered back onto my knees, sitting on my heels. I widened my thighs and pulled her hips between them. My dick lay hard and long on her belly. “Do you want me to come on you?”

  She quirked a brow. “Okay.”

  “It’s messy.” I stroked my dick, slick with her pussy juice from when she came.

  “I know.”

  I slipped inside her, wanting the feel of her hot wet walls on my cock. “I can feel your pussy on every inch of my dick. It’s fucking awesome.”

  She gasped and her head arched back. “I thought you were going to jerk off.”

  “I am at the end, but nothing is better than your pussy.” I moved within her until I got to the edge of oblivion and then I pulled out. “Watch me come, Katie.”

  Her gaze held mine as I stroked my cock again. “Play with your tits.”

  She pinched and squeezed her tits, and my dick jacked up to the next pleasure level. “Fuck yeah, so sexy.” Soon I was pumping my dick hard, and my breath was as labored as a run on the beach. “I’m going to come, Katie… ahh… here it is.” I rose on my knees and dropped my head back as I strained to reach the pinnacle. I shot a stream of cum on her belly, and kept jacking my cock as more cum shot out, some even reaching her tits.

  “Ah fuck.” I sank back on my heels working to catch my breath. I opened my eyes and saw her rubbing my cum over her belly.

  “It’s amazing that this stuff made our baby.”

  A wave of emotion overtook me, and I felt my eyes mist at her statement. I’d made a baby. Made a baby with Katie. The words I love you sat on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t have the courage to let them loose. Instead, I helped her up and to the shower where I washed her, and made love to her again, wishing I could alleviate this feeling of dread about us and knowing it would take even more courage to do so because that involved dealing with Danny, and wondering who’s side she’d pick in the end.

  Despite the one big issue of Danny and our past between us, life with Katie was going well as training camp for the new football season drew near. I increased the time and intensity of my workouts now that the doctor gave my shoulder recovery the all-clear. Between my workouts alone, and those with Katie, naked and writhing under me, I was getting fucking strong.

  While we were going strong, that wasn’t to say we still didn’t squabble and sometimes fight. But they didn’t end with a feeling like things between us would be over. Instead, we’d figured out a way to meet in the middle, which meant she didn’t have cameras on me when I visited people in the hospital, but I agreed to interviews that discussed the “secret life of Ryder Malloy” without discussing my relationship with Katie and our baby. Of course we argued about that as well, but only in theory. I didn’t have any interest in telling the world about my sex life or child, but I found it hypocritical that she wanted me to expose my life except for the parts that involved her. I thought that was probably the stuff the public would want to know the most about. Fortunately, we figured out a way to argue that always ended in make-up sex.

  We settled into a schedule where I’d stay at her place with her early in the week, and she’d spend weekends with me. If it weren’t for the issue with Danny, I’d ask her to move in with me. The fact that Katie never brought Danny up suggested she felt the same. Why mess up a good thing with a problem that could potentially ruin it all?

  A part of me felt like if it was going to mess things up, I should know now. Why would I continue to bond with her if in the end, she’d side with him? But the other side of that was hoping that she saw that I wasn’t the man Danny thought I was. That she’d believe me. I felt she must have some sense that I was truthful. She wouldn’t be with me if she really thought I’d done what Danny accused me of.

  But that didn’t mean she’d stick by me if doing so risked her relationship with Danny. I knew she cared about me, but I didn’t know if she loved me, or loved me enough to choose me over her family.

  So, like the coward I was, I stayed away from the topic, just as she did. I couldn’t help but think we were sitting on a growing pile of TNT, but I wasn’t going to be the one to light the match.

  Katie

  I wasn’t showing yet, but my doctor indicated it wouldn’t be long before I did. Things with Ryder were going well, but there was still so much we hadn’t confronted and I didn’t feel as solid as I would have liked. However, the time was growing near that I’d have to tell my boss and family about the baby. My instinct was to hide that Ryder was the father, partly to protect his image, but also because I didn’t want to deal with the potential fallout. Would I be fired? What would my family think, especially Danny? I had a horrible fear he’d disown me. Was Ryder worth risking all that? Whether he was or wasn’t didn’t really matter at this point. I made the proverbial bed and now I had to lie in it.

  When I got home Friday evening, I planned to make dinner for Ryder and me who would arrive later. I loved our routine because even though we divided time between each home, when we were together, it felt so domestic. We looked through baby books, trying to figure out what our baby looked like and how big it was. Right now, it was about the size of a plum and had all its major organs.

  We cooked together, watched movies, and of course, talked business. I was putting out feelers about endorsements for Ryder. We hadn’t had a bite, but we also hadn’t had any nos. My sense was that they wanted to see how he played this season before deciding.

  The only thing we never talked about was what happened four years ago. We needed to talk about it sooner rather than later, but because I was such a coward, tonight, I’d probably suggest a movie instead.

  I parked my car after getting home from work, eager to prepare for Ryder’s visit, but when I reached my door, a man was standing in front of it. A man I knew.

  “Danny?”

  My brother turned and smiled. “Hey, Katie.” He held out his arms.

  I hugged him, happy to see him even though my stomach was churning in anxiety. “What are you doing here?”

  He frowned. “Can’t I visit my little sis?”

  “Yes, I just… I didn’t know you were coming.” Why did I feel like I was being ambushed? Did my parents know he was here?

  He gave me a coy smile. “Hot date?”

  God, if only he knew. I opened my door, and we walked into my condo. “I had plans but I can cancel them.” I immediately took out my phone and texted Ryder letting him know that he shouldn’t come up. I didn’t mention why, only that I had something come up that I had to deal with. Hopefully, he’d see th
e text before he showed up at my door.

  “Nice place, Katie.” He scanned my condo. “You’re doing well.”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He walked around looking at my wall décor and bookshelves. But I wasn’t quick enough to hide the pregnancy book that was sitting on the dining room table.

  “What’s this?” Danny picked up the book.

  I bit my lip.

  He turned to me. “Katie… are you pregnant?”

  I wished I was quick enough to make up a lie, like the book belonged to a friend, but a side effect of pregnancy was brain fog, which I was suffering from.

  He gaped at me. “Jesus. You are.”

  I studied his face, trying to decide how he felt about it.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Do Mom and Dad know?”

  I shook my head. “I just found out.” That was a lie, but I couldn’t have my family think I was keeping secrets. Of course, the biggest secret wasn’t the baby, but the baby’s father.

  “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. Who is the father?”

  “It’s someone out here.” Wanting to change the subject, I asked, “What brought you here? Is everything okay at home?”

  He walked over to me. “Yes. Everything is the same. Mom and Dad are good. Phoebe is still a bitch, and DJ is the smartest kid in the world.”

  Hearing about Phoebe heightened my anxiety. She and Danny were divorced but because of their son, he still had to deal with her.

  His facial expression turned angry. “Actually, there is something, but I don’t want to talk about it now.” He guided me to my couch. “I want to hear about your mystery man and this baby. Was it planned? Are you happy?”

  Crap, back to that. I loved that Danny was interested in my life. He was the best big brother, but I didn’t want to go into my life and telling him about Ryder. What did that say about me that I couldn’t talk to Ryder about Danny, or to Danny about Ryder? “Everything is good, Danny. Really. It wasn’t planned, but we’re doing well.”

  He frowned. “He’s going to step up, isn’t he?”