Virtue of War

by L O Addison

  Beck gave a haggard sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. He looked even more exhausted than before, with dark bags under his eyes and stubble on his cheeks. Kaylin realized that while she’d been sleeping, he’d probably been debriefing with the other leaders on the base.

  “I honestly don’t know, Kay,” he finally said. “No one knows what the hell’s going on right now. A direct attack from the Wardens was the last thing we were expecting.” He hesitated, and then added, “Matteo isn’t going to be harmed. I’ll make sure of that. But I’m not sure if Duval is going to be keen on just letting him go.”

  Kaylin nodded. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it was better than what she’d been expecting. At least Matteo would be safe.

  She bit her lip, trying to hold back the question pushing at her mind. She shouldn’t ask. She’d sworn to stay out of the Resistance’s fights, and she was going to keep that promise.

  Then again, knowing couldn’t really hurt. So she hesitantly asked, “Why did the Wardens attack?”

  “Lio,” Beck said, his voice grim. “Somehow, they figured out he was coming to this base.” He shook his head and muttered a curse. “They’ve given us warnings about this shit before. Their leader issued an official statement saying that they’ll wage war on any humans who welcome aliens to Earth. But we always thought it was just talk.”

  “Everyone did,” Kaylin said with a nod. The Wardens had never been shy about their anti-alien propaganda, but it was common knowledge that they didn’t have the force to back up their threats. All they had were a few scattered bases across Europe and America and a rag-tag army of a few thousand “soldiers” who didn’t have enough supplies to actually fight.

  But the force that she’d seen attacking the base wasn’t rag-tag. Far from it. They’d been organized and well equipped, and if the Resistance didn’t have so much experience fending off surprise attacks, they might have been overwhelmed.

  “They’ve just started a war against the Resistance,” Kaylin said, shaking her head. “How the hell did they get enough supplies to even think of doing that?”

  “Someone’s feeding them resources and weapons,” Beck said. “And a shit ton of them.”

  “Who?” Kaylin asked.

  Beck shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I just spent two and a half hours trapped in a meeting room with twenty people all asking that same damn question. And the only answer we have is that we have no freaking idea.”

  He looked up, his dark eyes narrowing on her. “I was supposed to come in here and interrogate you,” he said. “Because Goodfellow is one of the only people who’ve had direct contact with the Wardens. And we need every bit of intel we can get.”

  Kaylin swallowed hard, trying to hide her panic. This whole ruse was getting way out of control. Pretending to be Goodfellow had been the only way to keep Nathan from killing her, but she couldn’t just start feeding them fake intel. Not if they were entering a war. It would only end up getting other people killed.

  “I don’t know any more than what I told you,” Kaylin said, shaking her head.

  Beck stepped forward, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared down at her, and Kaylin had the sudden urge to stand on her tip-toes, so she didn’t have to look up to meet his eyes.

  “You’re not Goodfellow,” he said.

  He stated it so flatly, Kaylin thought she might have misheard it. Beck let the accusation hang in the air as he stared down at her. She took a shuddering breath.

  “Why the hell would you say that?” she demanded, trying to sound indignant.

  “Because it’s the truth.” He jabbed a finger at her. “I thought you’d changed, but you haven’t. You’re still every bit the bleeding heart you were when I worked with you. You treated Lio’s wounds, even though he’s your enemy. You tried to save Matteo, even though he tried to stab you when you first found him. You asked me for a tranq gun while we were running out into a battlefield, just so you wouldn’t have to shoot anyone, and then ‘accidentally’ dropped the pistol I gave you. And you risked your life in that fire to save a goddamn lizard.”

  Red growled at the sound of Beck’s accusing tone, and he jumped off the bed, coming to stand at Kaylin’s side. Kaylin reached down with a shaky hand to stroke her lizard’s head, shushing him.

  “What the hell does any of that have to do with being Goodfellow?” she demanded.

  “Everything,” Beck snapped. “Goodfellow is the sort of snake who makes his living stealing and selling weapons. He killed a guard by shooting her in the back. He murdered her in cold blood. You won’t even use a pistol on a battlefield.” He shook his head fiercely. “Your ruse is up, Kay. Don’t even try to tell me you’re Goodfellow.”

  Kaylin’s mind spun as she struggled to think of something—anything—that would convince Beck he was wrong. But she couldn’t think of a single excuse.

  “Beck,” she said, struggling to keep her voice from trembling. “The Resistance will kill me. If anyone finds out I’m not Goodfellow, I’m going to become completely useless to them, and they’ll punish me just like they punish any other thief that breaks into bases. They will kill me.”

  Beck rubbed his hands over his face and took a shuddering breath. “I know.”

  She swallowed hard. “You can’t tell anyone,” Kaylin whispered. “Please. You can’t.”

  A long, painful moment of silence passed between them. Then Beck took a deep breath and murmured, “I won’t.”

  Relief struck her square in the chest, making her knees go weak. She stumbled back a step, and before she could recover her balance, Beck lunged forward. For a single second, she thought he was going to strike her, and panic ignited in her veins. But then he threw his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug.

  The air whooshed out of her chest, and she froze for a long second. Then she returned the embrace, resting her cheek against his warm chest.

  It’d been years since she’d hugged anyone. Years. And she hadn’t even realized she’d missed it until now.

  “You’re not a murderer,” Beck said, his voice hoarse with relief. “I should have known it right away. I’m so, so sorry I didn’t believe you.”

  Dread filled Kaylin’s chest. She didn’t want to tell him, but she had to. Telling the truth was the least she could do to make up for the past. She pulled out of his embrace and stared up at him.

  “I am,” she said.

  He frowned in confusion. “You’re what?”

  “A murderer,” she said, her voice hardly a whisper. “I... that’s why I deserted the Resistance, Beck.”

  Beck shook his head, reaching out to take her shoulders in his broad hands. “You’re not making any sense, Kay.”

  She took a shuddering breath. “You saw the report on me, didn’t you? The one they wrote up when I deserted?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Nathan showed it to me.”

  “What did it say?”

  He hesitated a moment and then said, “It said you went rogue when you were on a mission in southern Texas. Your team had been tasked with taking down a cartel leader who was wreaking havoc down there.”

  Kaylin nodded, although her stomach twisted at the memory. “Timothy Guerra,” she murmured. “He and his men had already killed dozens by the time we got there.”

  Beck nodded gravely. “So you killed him, like he deserved. And then you… turned. You threatened to kill your team leader, held him at gun point for a while, and then ran off. No reasoning, no warning. You just deserted.” He hesitated and then shook his head. “Kay, that man you killed was a monster. He would have killed dozens more if you hadn’t taken him out. He deserved to die.”

  “The kids didn’t,” she whispered.

  Beck’s frown deepened. “What kids?”

  She scoffed in disgust. “They weren’t mentioned in the report, were they?”

  Beck gave a bewildered shake of his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  Kaylin mu
ttered a curse. “I always figured Alex didn’t include it, but...” She took a shuddering breath and said, “He was our team leader. He caused all this.”

  “Alex?” Beck repeated. “Alex Martinez?”

  Kaylin nodded.

  Beck tilted his head, and Kaylin could tell he was mentally putting the pieces together. “That’s why you were both so pissed,” he said slowly. “When you saw Alex yesterday and found out Nathan wanted you to work together with Lio. That’s why you both were at each other’s throats.”

  Kaylin nodded. “I think Nathan thought Alex would be able to keep me under control, since he’d worked with me before. But one of us probably would have ended up killing the other if we’d had to work together again.”

  Beck’s face crumpled into a concerned frown as he stared down at her. “Kaylin, what happened?”

  She felt something warm trickle down her cheek. Tears. She hadn’t even noticed she was crying, but now that she’d started, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “On my last mission with Alex’s team, he ordered me to take the kill shot on Guerra. But he didn’t give me all the details.”

  Beck tightened his grip on her shoulders. “Kay, what are you talking about?”

  “There were two kids being held hostage,” she blurted out. “A boy and a girl. Twins. They were the kids of a local deputy who’d helped our team reach Guerra’s compound. The deputy had already been killed, I knew that, but I didn’t know...” She swallowed hard. “I knew they had his kids. But Alex said they were safe, and I believed him. I didn’t even question it.”

  She shook her head, a familiar anger filling her chest. “I should have known he was lying. Alex can be a ruthless son of a bitch, and I’d seen that side of him before. But he’d been on my ass about insubordination and threatening to write me up for it. So I decided not to question his decision. I took the kill shot.”

  She took a long, shuddering breath. “It was a clean shot. I killed Guerra. But it ended up the twins weren’t out of harm’s way, like Alex had claimed. Alex had just decided to gamble with the kids’ lives. He thought that as soon as Guerra was dead, his men would just give up and release the hostages.”

  She cut off, unable to finish the story. But Beck’s eyes filled with horror, and she knew he understood.

  “They didn’t give the kids up,” Beck murmured.

  Kaylin shook her head as more tears flooded her eyes. Before she could stop herself, she started telling Beck everything. She hardly remembered any of that day—her brain seemed to have simply wiped most of it out of her memory. But she’d never be able to forget finding the kids.

  It’d been hours after Guerra was killed, and Kaylin was still running on a victorious high of adrenaline. She’d thought the mission had gone near perfectly, aside from losing the deputy. She’d taken out Guerra, Alex had killed the cartel leader’s two righthand men, and the rest of Guerra’s men had cooperated and surrendered the compound. Their mission was complete.

  Kaylin and her four teammates had been clearing out Guerra’s compound, making sure the last of the soldiers were rounded up, when she’d stumbled on the bodies of the kids. Literally. They’d just been lying on the floor next to their dad’s corpse, each with matching bullet holes in their foreheads.

  The boy had looked almost identical to Kaylin’s little brother. Same age, same big brown eyes, same tan skin, same shaggy hair. Same dead, lifeless body.

  Alex had tried to explain why he’d given her the order to take the kill shot when the kids were still in danger—he hadn’t thought Guerra’s men would actually kill the kids, he thought it was worth the risk to get Guerra while they had a chance. But she’d known the real reason: Alex was up for promotion. If Guerra had gotten away, his chances of being promoted to lieutenant would have tanked.

  And then Alex had taken Kaylin aside from the rest of the team and made a suggestion—he’d wanted her to doctor her report. He’d told her it would probably “be for the best” if she reported that the kids had already been dead by the time she took the kill shot.

  She’d lost it. Just completely devolved into a shrieking, snarling mess. She’d joined the Resistance to get revenge for her brother’s death, and that was where it’d led her. Two little kids were dead. All because she’d blindly followed Alex’s careless, selfish orders. And all he gave a damn about was covering up the brutal result of his orders.

  She’d ended up with her rifle pointed at Alex’s head, and her entire team pointing their weapons at her in return. So she’d thrown down her rifle and run away.

  It had been almost an entire day before she got her thoughts together and realized she needed to report Alex. So she’d radioed in to the Resistance base and did exactly that. She couldn’t bring those kids back to life, but at least she could make sure Alex was punished for getting them killed.

  But at the time, the Commander at that base had been one of Alex’s closest friends. Kaylin’s report had been ignored, and instead Alex’s report went down in the books: Kaylin had cracked under the stress of the mission, refused to obey orders, threatened Alex’s life, and went AWOL. She was told she had three days to return to base, or else she’d be considered a violent deserter and a warrant would go out for her arrest.

  Kaylin decided that was the end. The end of her loyalty to the Resistance, the end of her sniper career. The end of her killing career. She’d never return to the Resistance again, and she’d never take another life.

  As Kaylin finished telling her story, Beck let out a deep, shuddering breath. “I should have guessed there was a bigger reason Alex was so pissed to see you.”

  Kaylin nodded. “The rest of our team bought his bullshit excuses and didn’t report what actually happened. But he knows I know the truth. He got those kids killed.”

  Beck rubbed a hand over his mouth. “Holy shit,” he muttered. “I knew Alex had a habit of playing politics, but that...” He shook his head and cursed. “I want to say I don’t believe it, but I do. Alex can be a cold son of a bitch when he wants something. And he’s been reprimanded before for incomplete reports.”

  Kaylin could hardly believe what she was hearing. “You mean you actually believe me?”

  He hesitated only a second before nodding.

  “Why?” she blurted out.

  No one else had believed her. Not ever. And she’d never thought that would change.

  “Because I’ve spent a lot of time around you, Kay,” Beck said, his voice softening. “And there’s still so much of you that I don’t understand. But the one thing you’ve proved to me over and over again is that you’re a good person.”

  Tears blurred her eyes again, and she pulled him into another hug. He squeezed her back tightly, but then he suddenly faltered and pulled back from her. He held her shoulders as he met her eyes.

  “I’m not going to tell anyone you’re not Goodfellow,” he said. “But you’ve got to make it up to me, Kay. Please. You’ve got to help us get that Virtue back before the Wardens figure out how to use it.”

  Kaylin swallowed hard. She’d been so caught up in the memories of the past that she’d almost forgotten about her current predicament.

  She shook her head. “Beck, I wasn’t lying when I told you that I don’t know anything about the Wardens. I was set up by Goodfellow. I’ve never had contact with the Wardens.”

  “You might not be Goodfellow, but you’re still the best thief I’ve got,” Beck said. “One way or another, I need to break into that base and get the Virtue back. Help me do it. Please.”

  Kaylin wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. Not after seeing the power of Lio’s Fragment. This was no longer just a matter of retrieving a holy relic and keeping the Rhuramenti happy. This was life or death, a desperate mission to keep a weapon of mass destruction out of the hands of the Wardens.

  She’d sworn to stay out of the Resistance’s business. But she’d also sworn to never kill again. And if she didn’t do everything she could to keep the Wardens from using the Virtue of War, the d
eaths of innocent people would be on her hands.

  “I’ll give you all the help I can,” Kaylin said slowly. “But, first, we need to talk with Matteo.”

  20

  Kaylin

  Beck guided her out of the sleeping quarters and down a corridor, leading her to the room where Matteo was being kept. Kaylin gazed around as they walked, taking in the surroundings she’d been too tired to notice when she first got here.

  The Nice base wasn’t quite as modern as the one in Florida, but there was enough concrete and steel to convince Kaylin it was plenty safe. But it was hardly cheery. The floors were worn-down carpet, the walls were painted a dull grey color, and the light panels put off harsh white light that threatened to give her a headache.

  Beck rapped hard on Matteo’s door before he entered the security code into the keypad, sliding the door open. Kaylin followed Beck inside, staying close to his side. The room was identical to the one she’d been put in—just a bed, a small table, and a chair. Basically a prison cell, but a cushy one with a soft mattress and a small attached bathroom.

  Matteo leaped up from the bed, furiously blinking sleep from his eyes. He glanced toward the door, but Beck quickly closed it, sealing them off from the hallway. Matteo’s gaze flickered back to the two of them, and he shifted into a balanced stance, clearly preparing to fend off an attack.

  Beck held up his hands in a calming gesture. “Hey, Matteo. We’re just here to talk. You can relax.”

  The young soldier glanced over at Kaylin, looking her up and down, and his brow furrowed in concentration.

  “You were there last night,” he murmured. “You were the one who stitched my wound.”

  “That’s right,” Kaylin said. “How are you? Beck told me you’re feeling a lot better.” She pulled the chair away from the table and brought it closer to his bed, taking a seat there.

  Matteo’s stance relaxed just slightly, although he crossed his arms over his chest. Kaylin could hardly believe this was the same person she’d stitched up just hours ago. He’d seemed so fragile when he’d been writhing on the ground with the fever eating at him. Now she realized he was at least six feet tall, and there was lithe muscle hiding beneath his slender build.