Virtue of War

by L O Addison

  "More like a hundred," Jaxon said.

  Gavin shot him another glare, but Kaylin pushed forward before the boy could interrupt her.

  "Right. And do you know where the Resistance got a huge chunk of their recruits?”

  “The same place the Wardens did,” Beck said, speaking up. “Cleveland. Thousands of people from there joined up to fight after the Syndicate attacked the city.”

  Kaylin nodded. “And I was one of them. So it's a weird coincidence that Jax and I are related, and that we ended up getting involved with organizations that consider each other enemies. But impossible? Hardly."

  Gavin's jaw worked back and forth as he considered this. Then he shook his head and let out a curse. "I still don't like this," he snapped, pointing a finger at Jaxon. "It's suspicious as hell."

  "Then let's go talk to the Shepherd," Jaxon said. He abruptly turned away from the cell, heading straight for the door. "Come on. Now. We'll tell him everything, and he can decide for himself if I'm a traitor."

  Anger rumbled in Jaxon's voice, and it sent a chill through Kaylin. She’d been hoping he was a soldier like Matteo, one who didn't agree with the Wardens, but who was trapped with them. But it didn't seem like that was the case. Jaxon seemed genuinely furious at the suggestion that he was a traitor to the Wardens’ cause.

  "Wait," she called out. "Jax, come back."

  Jaxon ignored her plea and continued toward the door, his steps rigid with anger.

  "Jax!" Kaylin called again.

  He paused. Just for a moment, and just to glance over his shoulder at her. His face was pinched into a scowl, but she could also see confusion and pain whirling in his eyes.

  "Don't leave," she pleaded. "Please. Just stay here for a minute. Let me talk with you."

  He hesitated, his feet shifting slightly. She held her breath, waiting to see if he'd step back toward her.

  Then the door slammed open from the outside. Jaxon and Gavin both jumped in surprise, and they turned to salute the figure walking through the door.

  "Shepherd," Jaxon said, standing at attention. "We were just leaving to fetch you."

  “And why is that?” the Shepherd asked. “I told you I’d meet you here.”

  Kaylin’s heart kicked in her chest. She knew that voice.

  The Shepherd stepped toward their cell. He was middle-aged, with a stocky stature and a thick scar that coursed across his face. His grey eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared down at her.

  “What the hell?” Kaylin whispered.

  She almost didn’t believe what she was seeing. But then she heard Beck murmur a single, stunned word.

  “Nathan.”

  34

  Beck

  He was dreaming. That was the only explanation Beck could think of that made any sense. He was stuck in a nightmare, and none of this was real, and it would all go away in just a few seconds when he woke up.

  But it didn't. Commander Nathan Hayes stayed exactly where he was, standing in front of the cell with his arms crossed and his lips pulled into a frown.

  Beck’s heart thundered in his chest as confusion swept over him. He glanced at Jaxon and Gavin, praying they were about to open the cell and shove Nathan inside. Because Nathan was a commander of the Resistance, an enemy of the Wardens. Not their ally, and definitely not their leader.

  Nathan’s expression darkened as he took in the sight of Beck sitting in the cell. “Beck,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “I'm sorry to run into you here.”

  Beck’s mouth opened, and then shut. Opened. And shut. He struggled to find words—any words—that could sum up the confusion and disgust racing through his mind. But all that came out was a quiet, choked sound of pain.

  Nathan hadn’t just been his commander. He’d been a mentor, a man Beck could always trust to give guidance and counsel. For years, Beck had idolized the man.

  But now, as Beck stared at the two young soldiers flanking the Shepherd, he realized what Nathan really was. Not a father figure. Not at all. No, he was a manipulative monster who preyed on the weak and abandoned, who used their insecurities to exploit and control them.

  It was Kaylin who managed to speak first, her voice hollow with shock. She pointed a finger at Nathan. “You’re the Shepherd.”

  Nathan gave a cold, thin smile. “What’s this? The little thief sounds so surprised that other people can pull tricks, too.”

  Kaylin shook her head and stumbled a step back. “What the hell?” she whispered again. Then her face twisted in confusion. “How the hell?”

  “Your son,” Beck said. He winced at the sound of his own voice, hardly recognizing its icy tone. “That’s how you got away with all this, isn’t it? By pretending to visit him.”

  It was common knowledge that Nathan’s son had been the only member of his immediate family to survive the Syndicate War. As far as Beck knew, his son lived with Nathan’s sister-in-law in Boston, and Nathan flew out multiple times a month to spend time with him.

  Or at least that was the story Nathan had told everyone.

  Nathan nodded, and his voice was eerily calm as he said, “Very good, Beck. I have to admit, I’m a little surprised you pieced that together so quickly. Everyone in the Resistance has always been so willing to believe that my leave of absences were for my boy.”

  “That’s because we trusted you, you bastard,” Beck snapped. “Do you even have a son?”

  The question cracked Nathan’s shell of calmness just slightly, and a flash of pain coursed across his expression. “No. My boy is dead, just like the rest of my family.”

  Beck shook his head in disbelief. “And now you use your dead kid as an excuse to betray the Resistance. All while preaching about your ‘dedication to saving innocents.’”

  He made air-quotes around the last part of the sentence, wishing he could hook his fingers through Nathan’s eyes instead of through open air. His shock was slowly starting to dissipate, and in its place was anger. Pure, molten anger, the kind that can only be brought on by betrayal.

  “I trusted you,” Beck hissed.

  “As you should have,” Nathan said. “I’ve never once betrayed the Resistance’s mission. Everything I do is to keep humanity safe.” He gestured to the two boys flanking him. “And I wasn’t entirely lying when I said I was spending time with my family. The Wardens are my family now.”

  “Like hell they are!” Kaylin snarled. She pointed at Jaxon, and then jabbed a finger at her own chest. “I’m his family. You are a monster who shoves guns in the hands of kids!”

  Nathan frowned, clearly not understanding. Then he glanced back and forth between Kaylin and Jaxon, taking in their obvious similarities. He raised an eyebrow and turned to Jaxon.

  “Is Kaylin really related to you?”

  Jaxon glanced over at Kaylin and went silent for a long moment. Then he gave a small, sharp nod.

  “Well.” Nathan allowed the word to hang in the air for a long moment. Then his cold smile returned, and he turned back to Kaylin. “How interesting. After abandoning him for three years, I didn’t think you’d bother pretending to care about him.”

  Rage flared in Kaylin’s eyes, and she leaped forward to strangle the bars of the cell. “Don’t you dare act like I wanted him out of my life. I thought he was dead. I searched the ruins of our apartment, and there was only dust left. If I’d had even the faintest hope he was alive, I would have combed the Earth trying to find him.”

  Nathan’s face remained impassive as he walked behind Jaxon and rested his hands on the boy’s shoulders, giving them a squeeze. Beck’s stomach turned at the sight of it. Nathan had done the exact same thing to Beck before, and he’d always seen it as a comforting gesture. But now he saw what it really was. It was a possessive touch, no different from the way a cat rubs itself against a mouse trapped between its paws, claiming its prey before devouring it.

  Jaxon shifted his feet uncertainly, his gaze flicking between Kaylin and Nathan, not seeming to know who to focus on. He settled with stari
ng at the ground, his jaw grinding nervously.

  “But you didn't search for him,” Nathan said, his voice dripping with disapproval as he narrowed his gaze on Kaylin. “You left him to care for himself. You say you’re his family, but do you really have the right to call yourself that anymore? I’ve cared for him for years, while you’ve spent your time thieving, which is the most selfish occupation in the world.”

  “I told you, I had no idea he was alive,” Kaylin snapped.

  Nathan ignored her and simply said, “If I hadn't found him and taken him in, he’d probably be dead by now.”

  Kaylin swallowed hard, and Beck realized she didn't have a retort for that. Because Nathan was probably right. Without the Wardens to take care of him, it was likely Jaxon wouldn't have survived the harsh life of a street kid.

  Nathan lifted his chin and said in a proud voice, “I took him in and gave him food, clothes, an education, and a roof over his head. And even more important than that, I gave him a family. Because as much as you might want to deny it, that's what I am, along with all his brothers and sisters in the Wardens.”

  Kaylin shook her head, her eyes focusing on Jaxon. “Jax, don't listen to him. I'm your family. Always have been, always will be.”

  Jaxon gritted his teeth, lines of pain and confusion crinkling his forehead. Nathan shook his head at Kaylin and let out a pitying sigh, as if that was all she deserved. Then he patted Jaxon on the shoulder.

  “And what do you say to that, my boy?” he asked Jaxon, using the caring, paternal tone Beck had heard from the man so many times.

  Jaxon looked up from the ground and straightened his shoulders, but he still couldn’t meet Kaylin’s eyes. “The Shepherd is right.” His voice was loud, but Beck could hear a faint tremor hiding in the words. “The Wardens are my family. Not some thief who left me for dead.”

  The air whooshed out of Kaylin’s lungs in an audible rush. Pain crumpled her expression, and Beck unconsciously searched over her body, half-expecting to find some sort of physical wound. He hadn’t thought words were capable of causing that much agony, not in a person as stoic as Kaylin.

  “I love you, Jax,” Kaylin whispered. “I just need you to know that. I love you more than anything in the world. And I am so, so sorry I left you behind. I never meant to. I swear, if I’d known you were alive...” She choked off and swiped at the tears clouding her eyes.

  “It’s true,” Beck said quietly.

  Jaxon glanced at him, suspicion rising in his expression. Beck offered him a slim smile and said, “Kaylin and I used to work together in the Resistance. She never talked about her personal life, but she talked about you. You were her one exception. She never forgot you, not even for a moment.”

  Nathan clucked his tongue and gave a mocking smirk. “That’s very touching, Beck, but I think we both know that Kaylin’s loyalty doesn’t extend beyond words. Whether she wants to take responsibility for it or not, she abandoned Jaxon, just like she abandoned the Resistance.”

  “Bullshit!” Beck snarled, jabbing a finger toward Nathan. “You’re the one who abandoned the Resistance. You betrayed all of us.”

  “I haven’t betrayed anyone,” Nathan said firmly. “The Resistance betrayed itself. They’re welcoming aliens into our backyards. If they're not stopped, it'll be our death sentence."

  “Liar,” Kaylin snarled. “If we don’t join forces with other planets, that will be the death of us. We don’t stand a chance against the Ascendancy without their help.”

  Nathan sighed and held up his hand toward Kaylin. “Stop. Please. I’m tired of hearing people mindlessly repeat that propaganda.”

  Beck let out a choked laugh. He wanted to yell at Nathan about the absurd irony of what he’d just said, but he had the sudden, crushing realization that he was speaking to a madman. Nothing he said to Nathan would change the commander’s mind.

  Jaxon swallowed hard and stared down at the ground, looking painfully uncomfortable. Then he quietly said, “Shepherd, may I be excused?” He nodded toward Kaylin. “I… I don’t think I’m in the right state of mind to be able to do my job right now. I’m sorry.”

  Nathan clapped the boy’s shoulder comfortingly and said in a softer tone, “No need to apologize, my boy. It shows strength to recognize your limits.” He gestured toward the door. “Go back to your quarters and take the rest of the day off.”

  Jaxon nodded and stepped toward the door, moving with the dull slowness of someone trapped in a daze. Nathan gestured to Gavin, who was still standing silently by the door. “Gavin, I assume you’ll be willing to take over Jaxon’s duties for the day?”

  Gavin nodded and saluted. “Yes, sir.”

  “Very good,” Nathan said. “You’re both excused.”

  “Jax, wait,” Kaylin called, sticking her hand as far as she could through the bars. “Don’t leave. Please. Let me talk to you.”

  Jax glanced over his shoulder at her, his eyes wide with pain and confusion. But then his gaze flickered over to Nathan, and he clenched his jaw, retreating back behind a stoic, emotionless mask.

  Beck’s heart sank at the sight of it. Jax was so much more like his sister than he knew.

  Jax turned around and strode out of the room alongside Gavin. As the door slammed behind them, Kaylin’s shoulders slumped in defeat. Beck stepped closer to her, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. But he kept his glare focused on Nathan.

  “I need answers,” he said, struggling to keep his voice from trembling with anger.

  Nathan gestured toward their cell. “You’re hardly in a position to be demanding answers. I’ll be the one doing that.” His hard tone left no room for negotiation as he stepped closer toward them and looked them up and down. “What happened to your team? I sent you off with three other talented Resistance soldiers, and now my guards are telling me your only other companions are a street kid, the ambassador, and one of the Wardens’ own deserters.”

  Beside him, Kaylin leaned forward anxiously. “You captured them?”

  “We will, shortly,” Nathan said, his tone not the slightest bit concerned. “At least hopefully we will. They’re currently trapped in one of our explosive closets, so either they surrender themselves to being captured or they get themselves killed.”

  Beck winced at his news, his heart sinking. Their mission had officially failed.

  “Beck,” Nathan said, his tone sharpening. “I asked you a question.”

  Beck swallowed hard. He wanted to tell Nathan to go to hell, but there was a dangerous glint in the commander’s eye that made the words stick in Beck’s throat. “Jamison and Liam survived and are safely back at the Nice base,” Beck said. “But Cate and Marin are dead.”

  He studied the commander’s face, desperately hoping to see some sort of remorse there. But Nathan’s expression remained impassive as he said, “Pity to hear about Cate, but I can’t say I’m upset the alien was taken care of.”

  Beck shook his head in disbelief, unable to understand how his wise, caring mentor could be the monster standing in front of him. “How can you be the…” He trailed off, unable to bring himself to say the word “Shepherd.”

  Nathan let out a small sigh, and Beck would have sworn he saw genuine pity in the man’s eyes. “So much of what the Resistance ‘knows’ about the Wardens is wrong,” Nathan said.

  Kaylin scoffed. “You recruit street kids to die for your cause. That’s all anyone needs to know.”

  Nathan shot her a disgusted glance. “Your view of the world is so childishly simple,” he said, shaking his head. “If we didn’t take in those kids, they would die on the streets. And we don’t simply shove them into battle. We train them, educate them, nurture them. We give them the skills they need to survive the coming war, and in return, they give us their loyalty. We’re not being cruel to them. We’re saving them.”

  Beck’s stomach twisted as he listened. “What’s this ‘coming war’ you’re talking about? The war with the Ascendancy, or the war you've started by bombing the Res
istance?"

  "The war for humanity," Nathan answered, not sounding the slightest bit guilty about the mention of the bombing. “Unless we stop all aliens from coming here, we’re doomed.”

  "Not all aliens are bad," Kaylin insisted. "The Rhuramenti have proven themselves to be friends. All they want is help stopping the Ascendancy."

  "The Ascendancy," Nathan said, snorting in disbelief. "You don't really believe they're real, do you?"

  "Of course they're real," Kaylin said. "Why do you think the Rhuramenti ambassador traveled millions of miles to get here? They wouldn't go through the trouble if war wasn't a real threat."

  Nathan gave her a look that bordered between pity and exasperation. "You make it so easy for them," he said with a sigh. "These aliens start preaching about imminent threats and certain death, without giving us any solid evidence. And what does the Resistance do? They tell them to please come to our planet, to please take valuable ancient weapons from them, to please bring all the dangerous technology they have." He shook his head in disgust. "It's fear-driven insanity."

  "And how can you consider yourself any different?" Beck demanded.

  "Because the threat the Wardens fight is real," Nathan said, his voice growing louder, more insistent. "We saw it during the Syndicate War. Our species is far more fragile than we'd like, and the second aliens see a vulnerability in our civilization, they're going to take over. If we give them one ounce of power, they'll demand control over our entire species."

  "So that's what you think the Rhuramenti are planning?" Kaylin asked, disbelief straining her words. "You honestly believe the Ascendancy aren't real? That it's all just a plot to get us to partner with aliens and let them land here, so they can take over our planet?"

  Nathan nodded. "That is precisely what I think. And it's what I fight against every day of my life. I'm not going to let the human race be wiped out like some helpless bug. We will be ready for the war, and we will fight back."

  "Isn't the Syndicate War enough evidence that the Ascendancy are real?" Beck demanded. "The invaders themselves told us the Ascendancy would be coming."