Pointy Hats and Witchy Cats

by Addison Creek

  “We had always planned to bring you back for that. We had meant to have you pass deportment long before this. Maybe the first year you were eligible. But your father was incredibly difficult about it. He said you were happy and should stay that way. He said you had a new stepfamily that you adored. He said they couldn’t imagine their life without you, and that we should leave you alone. You didn’t know you were a witch, and it might be best to leave it that way, is what he said,” said my grandmother.

  Anger boiled inside me, but I pushed it down. Now was not the time. Still, my dad had had no right to make those choices for me.

  Suddenly another realization struck.

  “You brought me back to pass deportment? You didn’t even bring me back to help save my sister? How dare you!” I cried.

  Without another word I shoved my chair back and raced for the back door. This was not a door I had gone through before, though I had seen my grandmother go out of it any number of times. I heard her yell for me to stop, and I ignored her.

  I shoved my way through the door and found myself in the back pasture. Before Bethel could say another word, I slammed the door shut. Seeing the bolt leaning against the outside wall, I grabbed it and slammed it into place. Now the door wouldn’t open. At least for a few moments.

  When I turned back to the pasture I found myself face to face with a sharp-horned unicorn.

  Unicorns were beautiful creatures. They were white horses that appeared to have stars on their foreheads. This one’s horn had several prongs.

  In fact, under a blanket of darkness—it was now far on into the evening—with little spots of deep color for the forest, the field, and the purple house, the brightly shining unicorns mirrored the stars. I thought it was the most beautiful thing and had taken to watching them for a few minutes out my window every night before I fell asleep.

  My grandmother had made it clear that unicorns were not to be taken lightly. They had tempers, and they were hard to control. One reason the Rhinestone witches had managed to stick around for so long was that everybody knew we were the only family that was any good with unicorns.

  And without unicorns, witches were in big trouble.

  Excited at the prospect, I turned to examine the stables. Lush green grass sloped away, and over there by the big brown barn was a herd of actual unicorns. Their spirals shone in the sun. Their hooves were silver and their white coats were the color of moonlight. I gasped at how beautiful they were.

  All the unicorns had stopped to stare at me in return. There were several adults and a couple of young, one of which looked to be a teenager. He had a thin silver collar around his neck, while the bigger unicorns’ collars were thicker.

  Mesmerized by their beauty, I forgot about everything else.

  As we continued to stare at each other, Tiger and about five other cats gathered around on the fences to watch.

  Only after a few moments did I realize that the unicorns weren’t happy to have me in their pasture. Eventually one of them gave a threatening sort of bellow, and I involuntarily stepped backwards. The smaller unicorns started to move around uneasily, watching the bigger ones, who were standing stock still. They were assessing how much of a threat I was, I now realized.

  Fear started to trickle up my spine.

  Finally the unicorn with the thin silver collar let out a bellow. The next instant he was charging. No, that’s the wrong word for it. He moved so fast he was halfway across the field before I even realized what was happening.

  In the blink of an eye the other unicorns fell away. All I saw was a streak of silver bearing down on me. The thundering of hooves drowned out the sound of the birds and the brush of the wind.

  The unicorn’s teeth were bared and his horn was lowered. He was going to spear me. With a cry I covered my head with my arms and knelt down.

  Just before the unicorn reached me there was the sound of rushing footsteps and a billow of flowing skirts appeared between me and my attacker. My grandmother spread her arms wide. Her back to me, she faced down the unicorn.

  “Stop it or I’ll clip your toenails again,” she said sternly. “How dare you behave so poorly? You absolutely know better! Teenagers!”

  The unicorn hung his head, then turned around and headed back toward the rest of the herd, which had galloped part of the way across the field.

  My grandmother spun around. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

  “Well, no,” I offered meekly.

  “It’s dangerous out here. Come in,” she said.

  At first I assumed she meant the unicorns.

  Then I remembered the wolves.

  Or maybe she meant something else entirely.

  One thing my grandmother had a lot of was books. She had taken over two of the bedrooms in the house and filled them with stacks upon stacks of old volumes, or many colors and sizes. But this was no neatly organized library; the books were scattered at random, and nothing was kept in any kind of order. Once, when I said something to Bethel about arranging the books alphabetically, she told me where I could find the pail to clean up the cat poop.

  That night, as I tossed and turned in my bed, I dreamed in fits and starts. One dream segment was particularly memorable.

  I was running down the borough lane again. This time I was looking for something, which was strange. I already had no clue where anything was around here, so the dream just seemed to be reinforcing the obvious.

  Just then a voice called out to me.

  It was a girl’s voice, and it sounded light and familiar.

  Looking around, I finally spotted a girl sitting on a nearby fence. Half her head was shaved. Her clothes were all black leather, including a cape. She looked like a witch badass if I do say so myself.

  She also looked like the sort of cool girl in school who didn’t care what anyone thought and would have no problem shoving guys out of her way.

  She had brown hair tumbling sideways over her right shoulder, a narrow face, and bright blue eyes.

  We looked so much alike, I halted in shock.

  “Ethel?” I whispered.

  She beamed at me and I fell into her arms. The canopy of stars brightened and winked, and I felt myself smiling broadly as I pulled out of her tight hug.

  “Jade! I’ve dreamed of this day. Thank you for coming. I wasn’t sure you would,” said the sister I hadn’t known I had.

  My heart was hammering as I admitted, “Bethel didn’t really give me a choice.”

  “She never gives any of us a choice. She thinks that as the matriarch of the Rhinestone witches, she has the right to order us around. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you. I can’t even tell you where I am right now. I don’t know who might be listening. But when I heard that there was a new Rhinestone witch in Twinkleford, I was overjoyed. I knew it was you. I always knew you’d come back someday,” she beamed.

  My shoulders fell. “I went to the crater. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

  Hurt shone in her eyes. “It’s enough that you’re here now. Have they told you about the deportment test?”

  Now I well and truly rolled my eyes. “They just told me about that tonight. I think Bethel was trying to find the right time to re-flatten me. Something about grandmothers; they always know more than they let on. Now she knows that there’s no such thing as the right time when discussing ball gowns and unpleasant witches with me,” I chuckled.

  My sister smiled and nodded. “Now that you know, I’m sure you’re going to have to start training. Watch out. It’s fun until it isn’t anymore. A new witch is at the bottom of the barrel and you don’t know anything. All the teachers like to point that out. Often.”

  I cocked my head in surprise. “Do you have experience in class?”

  She nodded soberly. “Yeah, I took the classes last year but didn’t finish. That’s fine now. Now I know all the stuff and didn’t have to go through deportment. I’m sorry it put so much pressure on you, though. That was never my intention.”

 
; “I think it’s safe to say that a lot has happened that we didn’t intend,” I said.

  Ethel glanced over her shoulder, and her demeanor shifted from relaxed to wary. I tried to see what she was seeing, but she was suddenly off at a distance. “Ethel?”

  She started to walk away, toward whatever had made her frown. I called after her, but she didn’t respond. I tried again and she looked at me. “I’ll be back. You’ve given the family hope. Also, don’t let anybody tell you that none of the covens approved. Some of the cousin covens are grateful that you’ve come. Don’t forget that. I’ll see you soon.”

  Then she was gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When I woke up the next morning, I felt as if I should have a splitting headache. I didn’t actually have one, but my body ached all over and I was as tired as if I hadn’t slept at all.

  Something was nagging at me. Ethel had said she had taken the class but didn’t finish. Why not?

  There was still something Bethel wasn’t telling me. Instead, she was offering up information that was only meant to cover up something else.

  In other words, there was a secret that this new family of mine was keeping from me. Not all was as it seemed.

  And now, on top of everything else, I was worried. I had had two very distinct dreams in a short period of time, the first of Smoldering and the second of my sister, and both of them had felt so real!

  I wondered: Had I really seen my sister last night? I couldn’t say for sure, but the experience had gotten me thinking about Smoldering again. He hadn’t shown up at the house yet, and that shocked me. Whatever my grandmother was doing to keep the sheriffs from coming after me, she was apparently doing an excellent job.

  Unfortunately, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to work for much longer.

  With those happy thoughts I got out of bed and headed for the kitchen. As in many homes, it was the hub of activity. Every time I went looking for my grandmother, the kitchen was where I found her.

  As I walked down the hall I heard the gentle clatter of plates and a hum of voices. I rounded the corner and found my grandmother and a woman I had never seen before sitting at the table.

  The woman had bright curly red hair and was wearing cowboy boots and a leather jerkin.

  “You must be the new arrival. Welcome. Good to see you,” she said. “I’m Lucky. If you are too, you won’t get on my bad side.” She winked.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said.

  I sat at the table and fixed myself some breakfast from the usual delicious spread.

  “I know you have a lot on your plate. I didn’t want to spring this on you, but there was a murder in Twinkleford recently that you need to know about. Also, stop giving Spunk cheese,” said my grandmother.

  If news of a murder hadn’t been so serious, I might have laughed.

  But of course there had been a tragedy. Our lives weren’t stressed enough already.

  “What does that have to do with me?” I asked.

  “It’s why your sister went on the run,” explained my grandmother patiently.

  For once Lowe was out. She liked to take some of the vegetables and other goods we made to the witches’ market, which sold an awful lot of things that weren’t zucchinis. She always came home with some strange finds that she was excited about. Bethel humored her and tried to concoct some spell around whatever she brought home. I had already been around for two such incidents. Only one of them had resulted in a smelly explosion that sent all of us racing out of the house.

  “She’s been accused of murder?” I asked incredulously.

  This defied belief.

  “You don’t think she’d run off and leave her family in the lurch for just anything, do you?” Bethel huffed.

  “Right. No, of course not. How could I be so silly?” I wondered, shaking my head. I hadn’t really thought about it, to tell the truth.

  “That’s why the sheriff wants to talk to me?” I tried to sound innocent, but at my grandmother’s sharp glance I knew I hadn’t pulled it off.

  “Don’t you be worrying about him,” said Lucky. “He’s just one of those unfortunate folks who likes to be good at his job. Give him a few more years and he’ll be as jaded as the rest of us.”

  “Who was murdered?” I finally thought to ask.

  “Jonathan Quickgrace,” said Lucky dramatically.

  I glanced at my grandmother. She shrugged.

  “He had led the pageant part of the deportment test for the past three years. He was a young man. He didn’t deserve the end he got,” she said.

  “How did he die?” I asked.

  “Staked,” said my grandmother.

  “Charming,” I muttered.

  “We’ve been discussing the case. The sheriffs haven’t made any progress, probably because your sister is the prime suspect and no one can find her. Everyone saw them arguing, and then two days later he was dead,” she explained.

  “He probably argued with a lot of people,” I said defensively.

  “He was beloved by all,” said Lucky.

  Now that I thought about it, I did remember seeing a sign for a crime scene. “Where was he murdered?”

  “In the dance hall. That’s where he always gave lessons. He was murdered at lunch when everyone was on break,” she said.

  “That’s terrible. The students came back and found him?” I asked.

  “All the deportment students,” said Bethel.

  “Ethel too?” I asked.

  “She was in fact a deportment student for a short time,” said Lucky dryly. “But when it quickly became clear that she was a suspect, she ran.”

  I rubbed my temples. My sister was wanted for murder, so I had to wear petticoats. Nothing made any sense.

  “So now I have to start deportment training?” I said.

  Bethel stopped dead. Her eyes were bright. “You’ll do it?” she breathed.

  “Of course!” I cried. “The only trouble is that I’m clumsy as anything and I’m not sure I have any magical talent.”

  My grandmother waved that off. Suddenly her head rose higher. “You are a Rhinestone witch. You ooze talent out of your pores. It seeps into your very being. Trust me, you are talented with magic. But I’m not sure I can help you much with basic walking,” she added ruefully.

  I shrugged. “I guess I’ll have to live with that.”

  “We all have to live with a lot,” said Lucky shaking her head.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Deportment classes were due to start up again the next day, so this was my last day of peace and quiet before being thrown to the wolves, and I decided to spend some of it walking around the borough of Mountain Misdirect. I had done quite a bit of that already, and I had gotten used to seeing the other witches around. Unlike when we went downtown, they happily greeted me here at Misdirect Lane.

  I rounded a corner into the trailer park and stopped dead. Until that moment I had been happily walking down the middle of the street, collecting dandelions for my grandmother to use in making soup. As she had requested, I had a basket full of them. I had also been sweating profusely in the hot sun and was wearing a wide-brimmed hat for shade.

  Now, directly in front of me, leaning against the steps of a trailer, was Smoldering. Bethel had warned me that it was only a matter of time before he found us, and in fact I had been surprised that none of the sheriffs had recognized my grandmother at the wedding in the first place. She had shrugged modestly. Lowe had made a hand motion that implied she’d used magic to get away.

  When Smoldering turned around to look at me, a shot went straight through me. I wondered if I’d faint.

  As quickly as I could, I turned around and started to put some distance between us. Instinctively, I knew that Smoldering was following me.

  I hazarded one glance over my shoulder.

  The entire trailer park had emerged from their homes. I was shocked to see that they were all swarming the sheriff. He wasn’t going to be able to move anywhere quickly.

/>   I hurried down the lane.

  “Bethel!” I yelled as I rushed into the house and threw my basket down in the kitchen.

  “You look a sight,” said my grandmother.

  “He’s here,” I breathed.

  My grandmother clutched her chest. “The devil? I knew he’d find me eventually!”

  I made a face. “No! Smoldering.”

  She frowned at me. “That could also describe the devil . . .”

  “The sheriff who came to Bailey’s wedding and was chasing me!” Goodness that felt like a lifetime ago, even though it was only a matter of days.

  Guilt suddenly washed over me because I had caused the ruination of Bailey’s wedding. Sure I didn’t like her, but she still deserved to have the insane, expensive, and snooty wedding of her dreams. Then I told myself not to be silly, I had more immediate things to worry about.

  “The sheriff came to the borough?” my grandmother’s eyebrows knitted. “I had hoped it would take him longer to sniff me out. No matter. Go into your room and hide.”

  “I can’t hide! I want to give him a piece of my mind!” I scoffed.

  “No, absolutely not. The only way we’re going to pull this off is if he doesn’t find you. He’s already decided you’re guilty,” she explained.

  “Guilty of what?”

  “Harboring your sister, of course,” said my grandmother as she removed her apron and fluffed her hair.

  Some people greeted the police with fear or apprehension. My grandmother did so with a perfectly unrumpled skirt and a steely glare.

  Just then we heard voices. Lowe met us in the hallway and the three of us went to the front door and peered through the windows along the side panel.

  The sheriff was across the street talking to Lucky, who was smiling brightly and shoving her masses of red curls out of her face as they chatted.

  She waved dismissively at our house. On the wind I was pretty sure I caught the words “No one’s home.”

  As we kept watch, I noticed a strange phenomenon. The garden was starting to fill. Pixies, fairies, and cats were all slowly creeping in amongst the vegetables to watch. Pixies and fairies kept throwing each other off the tallest tomato plant. On the fence was perched Lucy the bird. I glanced at my grandmother. She was shaking her head.