But she’s pregnant, and clearly in distress. The woman at the counter isn’t even looking at her anymore.
“Confidence?” She spins around, her eyes wild with panic before recognition flickers and then fades. She gives me an assessing once over and a confused frown mars her incredibly pretty face and then her jaw goes slack.
Her shocked expression makes me feel like I’m standing there naked.
“Regan Wilde? Wow, your hair... is amazing and…I’ve never seen you look so… young before,” she says after tripping on her words.
“Good to know I look like an old hag normally,” I say in a dry voice before I can stop myself. I forget that my RBF means that my jokes tend to go over not so well.
Her ocean blue eyes widen in horror and then, she laughs out loud.
Hmmm, that’s unexpected.
She puts a hand on my arm, “And you’re funny, too. You know what I mean, girl. You look like you’re sixteen years old. I can see your freckles. You’re stunning all the time, but right now, you look like you’re a sun goddess or something. I can tell you’ve had a great trip.”
Her congratulatory smile makes my stomach dip.
If only she knew. I wonder what she’d say if I told her that I drove a nail into the coffin of my oldest friendship. Before I spent four days fucking, feasting and finding my religion with a man who isn’t my husband, but seems to know me better than anyone else ever has. Oh, and I think I fell in love with him, but it doesn’t matter because there is no hope for us.
Since I can’t say any of that, I focus on trying to help her with whatever I just walked in on.
“I wish I could say the same for you. You look downright distressed. What did I interrupt when I walked up here?” I arch an imperious eyebrow at the young woman behind the counter.
Confidence’s smile dims and she purses her lips. “Oh, I was being a little bit of a diva,” she admits with a sheepish smile. “I wanted to get my hair done. I didn’t make an appointment and they’re booked. I’m terrible at doing it myself.”
“You have an event?” I feign ignorance.
She darts forlorn azure blue eyes back to the young woman behind the small desk before she nods tentatively. “Yes. A beach wedding. At sunset. It’s a surprise, though. So, if you see Hayes please don’t say anything.”
“Don’t you worry,” I assure her. If I see Hayes, all I’ll be doing is moving in the opposite direction.
“I’m so mad at myself, I’ve never been to one of these places, I thought I could just walk down and get a quick blow out.” She bites her lip fretfully. Her hand rests protectively over the small rounded swell of her belly.
I was a pregnant bride, but there was nothing romantic or whimsical about my nuptials. Even in her distress, it’s clear that this is a woman who is in the full flush of love.
My pang of jealousy is tempered by my secret fascination with the idea of happily ever after. It wasn’t in the cards for me, but I love watching it happen for other people, so I make a snap decision.
I eye her cut off denim shorts and white t-shirt with a conspiratorial smile.
“It won’t do for you to become the new Mrs. Rivers with your hair looking like that. Leave it to me.”
Her pretty face is full of confusion. “Leave what?”
I turn back to the counter. “Excuse me.”
The girl who’d been ignoring Confidence smiles genially at me. “Yes Mrs. Landel, how can I help you?”
“This woman is getting married tonight, surely you can fit her in,”
She pales, her eyes widening and darting over my shoulder before returning to me full of dread and apology.
“I’m sorry, but we aren’t taking walk ins.”
I quirk a brow at her and frown, confused. “You took me.”
She flushes bright red and her eyes dart around as if she’s looking for help. When none of her co-workers meet her pleading eyes, she looks back to me with resignation. “Because you’re… you. VIP. And now, we don’t have any bowls available.”
“It’s okay, Regan. Really,” Confidence puts a hand on my shoulder.
“No, it’s not. She can have my bowl. I don’t have anything more than a good book waiting for me. If you can make me an appointment for tomorrow?”
The girl turns to her coworkers and speaks to them in a rapid fire, authoritative voice that sends them scurrying.
“Of course, Mrs. Landel, what time tomorrow?”
“Oh no, I couldn’t,” Confidence protests.
“You must. I insist.” I smile at the young woman. “I’ll call in the morning to see what ‘s available. “
I turn to Confidence, “I’ll just go get my things, so you can get started.”
“Thank you so much, Regan.” She’s bubbly with giddy relief and before I see it coming, her arms go around me in a hug of gratitude.
I’m so surprised, I stiffen. But only for a moment.
In the group of people I call friends, air kisses are the greeting of choice.
But boy…does she give good hugs.
Almost as good as Matty’s.
I’ve been so mad at her, but I wish I’d hugged her like this before she left. I roll my eyes at my own silliness. As if a hug would have healed everything between us.
I miss having girlfriends.
I’m tempted to nestle my head on her shoulder and tell her everything.
I pull away before I do or say something I’ll regret.
Confidence is smiling wide, and in a louder voice she says, “Is your husband here? We’ll be at the beach at 6pm. We’d love to have you.”
At the mention of my husband, Hayes and his brothers in the same sentence, my panic flares.
“He’s not here. And I’ve got a video call with my kids at the same time. I haven’t talked to them for a few days, so as much as I’d love to…” I lie. I wouldn’t love to. “Good luck tonight. It’s quite a feat you’re pulling off.”
“He’s my forever, and I just want him to be happy.” she says with a dreamy sigh that makes my dry husk of a heart wheeze in longing
“Oh, I’m sure he will be.”
She shakes her head in self- rebuke. “It’s ridiculous that you and I had to come all the way to Mexico to have our first conversation. Let’s have lunch when we’re all back home.” she says with so much sincerity that I can’t suppress the girlish hope that maybe, she means it.
“I’d love to,” I say but when she goes to hug me again, I lean in and press a kiss to each of her cheeks. Hugs are nice, but so are these, when you mean them.
She’s marrying a man very much like Marcel - a titan of industry, powerful and from an old, classist family that disinherits its heirs the way the Catholic Church used to excommunicate heretics.
But in all the ways that matter, he’s also very different. Every time I’ve seen them together, it is clear that he is beside himself with love for the little blond bombshell he’s marrying. And she returns his affection.
Yet, empire building is not for the faint of heart. Marcel and I might not have fared better if we’d had love on our side. Without it, we never stood a chance.
Confidence waves and disappears around a corner with the now fawning receptionist. I wave back and send her a silent wish for better luck with her billionaire titan than I had with mine.
Chapter 28
Oh, Brother
Hayes Rivers
“Why the fuck are you smiling like that?” I nudge Stone with my elbow.
He immediately stops smiling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, and I eye him in the mirror but drop it. He’s always been a private person and I know that pushing him is the surest way to shut him up.
I turn back to the mirror, but I feel him watching me and dart an inquisitive glance in his direction.
“I can hear you thinking....” I draw.
“How do you know, Hayes?”
“Know what?” I run my fingers through my hair one last time and turn to face
him. He looks uncharacteristically unsure of himself.
“That you want to spend the rest of your life with her.”
“Because in general, I’m a selfish asshole. But I’d rather swallow hot lead than see disappointment in her eyes.”
Stone laughs, and I freeze.
“I haven’t heard you laugh out loud in at least three years,” I say.
“That’s not true,” he scoffs, and a smile plays on his lips.
“Has there been an invasion of body snatchers? Who the hell are you?”
“Fuck off, Hayes.”
“I saw you two weeks ago on FaceTime, and you looked like the same miserable fucker you’ve always been. Last time you looked like this you were eating one of those lemon scone things you used to be obsessed with.”
He purses his lips in a self-satisfied smile and nods. “You don’t say…”
“Are you two peacocks done hogging the mirror?” Beau shouts and I stick my head out of the bathroom. He’s lounging on the bed, and Dare is nowhere in sight.
“Where’d he go?” I ask and eye Dare’s bed. It’s strewn with more clothes than he could possibly need for a weekend, hair products, his laptop, two cell phones, and several wads of cash. I push away the unfair flare of suspicion as I take in his things. Dare has been home from rehab for two months. He’s doing well. I can see the change in him. I just need to accept that his lifestyle is less traditional than mine.
I clap my hands together both to refocus my thoughts and to get my brother’s attention. “Listen, whatever C is up to, I want you guys to promise me you didn’t let her rope you into anything crazy.”
“Too late. That little blonde Napoleon you’re engaged to can’t be reined in,” Beau says cryptically and grins. He hops up and saunters to the small bar by our balcony door.
He hands me a glass and another to Stone and raises his in a toast.
He makes a lewd joke about marriage and balls in vices. I laugh even though it’s not really that funny. I’m happy. I’ve missed my brothers.
We’re scattered all over the place, and it’s been too long since we got together outside of the holidays.
Confidence never ceases to amaze me. They told me she made it clear that she wouldn’t take no for an answer when she called them to plan this get away. Even though I’ve missed her this afternoon, it’s been nice to spend the afternoon with them. I feel bad that I didn’t thank her before she went off on her mysterious errands.
A simple and easy day is the best gift anyone has ever given me.
In my family, those kinds of words—simple and easy—were met with suspicion.
“Okay, let’s go. Everything is ready.”
Beau’s abrupt declaration startles me. “Ready for what?” I ask.
“For you, dumbass. That’s all I’m allowed to say,” he adds when I start to press him for more.
I turn to Stone, who is distracted by whatever he’s looking at on his phone.
He’s smiling again.
This time, with teeth.
My curiosity about the evening is forgotten. I give him a suspicious once-over. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see it. But why the fuck are you smiling so much?”
He flushes, and his eyes get an almost dreamy look, one I’ve never seen.
“I think… I’m falling in love.” He sounds like he can’t believe it himself.
“Wow.” I can’t hide my surprise.
He smiles wryly. “I know. It’s a little complicated, though.”
“How so?”
“She’s married. Don’t say a fucking word. Not to anyone,” he whispers.
Then, he claps me on the shoulder and follows Beau out the door. I put my shoes on, grab my wallet and hurry after them.
The elevator doors open on our floor, just as I’m catching up with them.
“Good timing,” Beau mutters, as we step onto the crowded car.
Conversation is impossible, but I catch Stone's eye and give him a look that he knows means I’m not done with him.
He smirks and shrugs.
I smirk back and plan my attack as we descend.
When we step off the elevator, I pounce.
“I forgot my phone upstairs,” I lie.
“Aww, shit. Hayes. If you’re late, Confidence will fucking kill me,” Beau whines.
“Then you go get it. And Stone can escort me to whatever this is.”
“Good idea. I’ll be five minutes behind you,” he says, and turns back for the elevators.
“That’s not a little complicated.” I fall into step beside a speed-walking Stone.
He scoffs. “It is. She won’t be married for much longer. Now that I know for certain she could be mine; I’m just going to wait for everything to align and make my move.”
“I thought you had a girl in Houston?”
“That was nothing. This woman, she feels like my endgame.”
“Not if she’s already somebody else’s. You’re whipped. You’ll get over it.” I assure him.
When he doesn’t respond, I glance at him and find his attention is on something on the other side of the lobby.
I follow his gaze and glimpse someone… who shouldn’t be here.
“Is that… Regan Landel?” It’s a rhetorical question.
Of course, it’s her. No one besides her twin brother, Remi, looks like that.
“Yes, that’s her,” Stone says. His voice has an odd tone, and I turn away from where Regan is standing to look at him.
He’s watching her the way I watch Confidence. Devouring every detail like his life depends on it.
A terrible foreboding makes my chest tight. “Stone—”
He shakes his head and points at the restaurant we’re standing in front of. “We’ll talk later. We’re here. It’s showtime.”
I force myself to let it go for now. But only for now.
My brother looks besotted, but every man over the age of 16 is half in love with Regan Landel; she’s incomparably beautiful. So, I can understand why Stone, if he’s spent time with her or maybe even had a fling with her, would look at her and think he’s found nirvana.
But that way only lies trouble. She’s married one of the richest men in the world. He’s a business acquaintance. We play golf when he’s in town. And I know his wife is his most prized possession. I can’t believe she’d risk something like a tryst with Stone.
Even if she wasn’t married, when she finds out what our family did to hers, she won’t want anything to do with us, much less become intimately involved. If I can cut it off before whatever they’ve started takes root, then maybe, just maybe, I can stop the nightmare our parents started from getting any worse.
Chapter 29
I Need Her
Stone
Hayes’ wedding went off without a hitch. It was beautiful and his new wife, Confidence looked like a fairy queen in just her floor length sequined white dress. A pregnant fairy queen whose belly shimmered like a disco ball when she took to the dance floor during the party that lasted well past midnight.
The moon was full, fat and low in the sky, and cast a silver gilt on everything.
Hayes took his bride to bed hours ago, but Beau, Dare and I decided to stay up and watch the sunrise together. Something we used to do when we lived together in New York City a few years ago.
I was finishing my residency, Hayes was studying for the next round of CPA exams and working for Kingdom in their New York office. Beau was in college and Dare was in high school. The only time we were all up and home at the same time was in the very early morning hours. And so, this became our ritual.
We’d catch up, talk shit, and laugh over a cup of coffee while the sun ushered in a new day.
I miss that, because despite how different we are from each other, we’ve always been friends.
But, I’m not as young as I used to be. Too much scotch, not enough food or water, and dancing until we were drenched with sweat is starting to catch up with me and I’m struggling to keep my
eyes open.
Dare is already asleep on one of the lounge chairs. Curled up in a fetal position, the way he used to when he was a kid. When I see him like that, I can almost recall a time before his name became synonymous with trouble. It’s not his fault, he was only three when Jason died, and Hayes left. He got the short end of the parenting stick.
“You dumped her because she got a cat?” Beau’s question interrupts my reverie.
I glance at him and my lip curls in annoyance. I reach across the space between our lounge chairs and snatch my phone out of his hand. I have pictures of Regan on that phone and the last thing I need is for him or anyone to see them.
“Why are you reading my texts?”
“Because you keep secrets and you’re not allowed to have secrets from me. Remember?” He spears me with an annoyed glare.
“No, I don’t remember.” I grumble and open my phone’s security settings. I change my password; the same one I’ve had for the last ten years.
“Are you changing your passcode?” he asks in surprise.
“How’d you guess?”
He laughs. “Stone, come on. You read my texts all the time.”
“I used to. You were a minor and I paid for your phone.”
“You were two years older than me and being young doesn’t mean I didn’t want my fucking privacy, man."
I roll my eyes.
“People in hell want ice water. I stopped checking your messages when you started paying the bill. And yes, I dumped her because she got a cat,” I answer his original question. It’s not the whole truth but it’s a pretext for it.
“Jesus, Stone. She got a cat to keep her company while you were gone. God, you’re an evil fucker, man. No heart at all.” He shakes his head, his face pinched in mock disappointment.
I quirk my lips in a smirk and roll my eyes, dismissing his teasing.
“We didn’t want the same things. And I’m allergic to cats. She knew that. Felt like a natural end to me. How was I to know she’d be upset?”
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