Beau drags his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose to reveal his red -rimmed, glassy-eyed glare of disbelief.
“You know, I promised Cadence I would get through this week without lecturing you about your lifestyle choices. She said you’d be feeling enough pressure as it was with Hayes getting married and you being next in line.”
I roll my eyes upward in annoyance. “I feel zero pressure to do anything. Any choice I make is one I want to. But tell Cadence thanks for trying to use her dark powers for good. That’s a first.”
Normally, I’m a lot less civil about the vise grip his girlfriend has on his balls. She’s overbearing and in general, bad for him.
Last Christmas she announced that she’d had a dream about starting a stingless bee apiary in Mexico. She and Beau bought some land in a town called Playa Encanto and went search of a simpler way of life,
As far as I can tell, the year he’s spent in Mexico with Cadence has involved developing an intimate knowledge of hallucinogenic plants and herbs having sex on public beaches and playing his guitar while she dances in circles around a small fire.
At least that’s what all the videos he posts on IG make it seem like.
He says they’re happy, fulfilled and relaxed.
I think she’s just spending his money, pulling his chain, and using him to live a life of leisure.
But there’s never been any getting through to Beau when it comes to her. And if I know anything it’s that my objections only make him more determined to prove me wrong.
“Don’t you worry that you’re going to end up alone?” Beau’s voice is contemplative.
“It’s not the worst thing I can imagine, I think it would be worse to be with someone who made me miserable,” I answer and give him a pointed look.
He’s been with Cadence since he was seventeen and I’ve never been convinced that it’s love that binds him to her. He doesn’t want to be alone. Being raised by Eliza scarred us all equally, but differently. He’s afraid of being alone. I’ve always been afraid of committing to the wrong person.
“What if you’ve already met Ms. Right, but sabotaged the relationship before you had a chance to find out?” he presses me.
I shake my head. “I’ve never been indecisive. I know what I want. It’s not fair to keep dragging something out because you hope the person will change. Like you’ve been doing for the last 8 years of your life?”
He groans and drops his head into his hands. “But Stone…what if the pussy is so good, so deep, that you know you’ll never have anything that good again and you’re kind of addicted to it.” Beau asks in a rush of pained words.
I gawk at him.
“Beau, you can get good pussy anywhere.”
He shakes his head in emphatic disagreement. “No, not like hers.”
I groan and run a hand over my face. “Dude, how do you know? Wasn’t she your first?”
“Yeah…but it’s so good. I know nothing could feel like her. But, fuck, I don’t think I even like her anymore.”
“And you can still get it up?” I look at him, incredulous.
“I’m a man. It doesn’t take much; and when her mouth is full of my cock, she doesn’t annoy me at all.”
“I forgot how charming you can be.” I give him a disapproving frown.
“Learned it all from my big brother,” he says with a wink.
Beau leans back in his chair, tips his face up and drinks in the first rays of the rising sun. “I’m so glad you insisted we stay up for this.”
I nod in agreement and enjoy the quiet peace that descends as the sun rises.
Beau taps the table. “I know Mom did a number on us and that you deserve the chance to do whatever you want. But, don’t let searching for someone who doesn’t exist – some perfect woman without any flaws – keep you from missing out on something special.”
It’s the tip of my tongue to say I’ve found her. But, that’s crazy. Sure, we had a great week together. But…our lives are incompatible for anything more than friendship. And even that seems to make her uncomfortable.
Beau nudges my chair. “I’m going to swim,” he declares and stands up to head to the water.
I throw a fist full of sand at him as he ambles off towards the water.
Beau is soul searching and unsettled. But the fact that we’re here together and that he’s got enough security in his life to have space to daydream, makes me feel less worried about him.
I missed a lot of my adolescence, and sometimes I lament that, but it feels so worth it to see my brothers whole and happy.
The way I felt when I was with Regan.
Just thinking of her makes my heart thud and my stomach flip.
I want to punch myself.
For a man everyone calls smart, I’ve been incredibly stupid.
She’s married with children, I live on another continent, I’ve never even come close to falling in love. And whatever I felt for her when I was ten, was gone. But when I jumped off that gondola, I knew.
And still, I persisted.
I thought there was safety in the fact that we would have to say goodbye. I should have recognized that for the wolf in sheep’s clothing that it was.
But, there is no safety net you’re ensnared by a femme fatal. There’s only free fall.
We agreed to wait until tomorrow but, I miss her and it’s not like anyone’s paying attention.
I scribble a note for my brothers on a cocktail napkin and go in search of my goddess.
Chapter 30
Hot Stone
Regan
There’s a light knock on my door and I put my book down and just stare at it for a minute. It’s barely 9am and Stone is fast asleep next to me. He showed up a few hours ago, and I was too happy to see him to mind that he was breaking one of our rules. He crawled into bed, wrapped an arm around my waist, pulled me so my back pressed against his chest and fell asleep.
The knock comes again, a little louder this time. I disentangle myself from the warm weight of his arms and slip my robe on before I pad over to the door.
I look through the viewfinder and my heart drops to my toes when I see Hayes Rivers standing there.
I gasp, my heart racing and jump back from the door like it’s on fire.
What in the world does he want? Maybe I can pretend I’m not here. He knocks again, more insistent this time.
“One second,” I call out and run to shut the bedroom door, then scan the room for any signs of Stone’s presence. Seeing none, I take a steadying breath, and open the door.
Hayes Rivers is an entire mood. He looms large and imposing in my doorframe, smiling pleasantly, but his eyes tell an entirely different story. They’re cold and intent and his severe brows give his handsome face an austerity that is intimidating.
“This is a surprise. I expected you to be keeping the new Mrs. Rivers company,” I say in a lighthearted tone that is as transparent as his disapproval. I draw my robe tighter around me.
“Yes, my wife told me that you were responsible for her having her hair done. I wanted to thank you.” His smile is nothing close to grateful, and my chest tightens.
“You’re welcome and it was my pleasure. But you didn’t have to come all this way to tell me that.” I give him a tight smile.
“Actually, I did.” His pleasant smile falls away.
“Oh?” I raise an expectant brow.
“We’re having a post wedding brunch. Confidence thought since Remi wasn’t able to make it, and you just happen to be here, it would be nice if you came.”
I jerk backward and frown. “Wait, you were expecting Remi? Don’t you know he left town without a word?” I’m surprised because they became good friends last year; Bringing a very public end to the rivalry between our families.
His inscrutable gaze flickers with surprise before he looks away like something down the hall caught his attention. I stick my head out; there’s nothing there. But that would mean…he’s nervous. Hayes Rivers and nervousness don�
�t go together. Ever.
He narrows his eyes as if he’s trying to remember. “No. I didn’t, I guess. I just, it’s been a crazy couple of months and Confidence being pregnant and Gigi getting shot and recouping, you know. So, I have no idea what’s up with Remi. We sent him an invite, but…yeah, no.”
None of that makes any sense. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He sounds like a guilty man talking to the police
What in the world is going on?
I narrow my eyes at him.
“And your wife, who works for him, didn’t mention that she hasn’t seen your best friend in two months?”
He shrugs. “She doesn’t work for him anymore. “
The rush of resentment I feel toward him is unwarranted
“Your wife was aglow with love for you. Don’t force her to give up on her dreams, so she can be your perfect little trophy. Trust me when I say that if you do, one day, you will regret it.”
He leans away as if I slapped him and then his expression darkens. “I don’t appreciate the insinuation, Regan. I can assure you that I can’t force Confidence to do anything.”
I flush. “I see, sorry. I’m projecting. Bad habit.”
He ignores me and glances over my shoulder, looking into the suite. My heart leaps in my throat.
“Can I help you?” I ask, moving to block his view.
He turns his intelligent eyes back to me, an almost charming smile on his face.
“I thought I saw something.”
“Well, it’s just me.”
He bites his lip, and nods his head, as if agreeing.
“Sorry. It’s a bad habit. In fact, I was just telling my brother, Stone, how easy it is to see things that aren’t there. He’s spent his whole life working toward this opportunity that’s waiting for him in Houston. But an illusion is about to ruin it all. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen.” He looks perfectly civil…but he’s making his point in a ruthlessly deliberate way.
He knows.
My throat constricts and I take an involuntary step away from him. “Well, good luck with that,” I manage to croak out.
He nods. “I’ll let Confidence know you had other plans and couldn’t join us for brunch.” His smile is all grace and charm, but his eyes glimmer with a satisfaction that makes me want to punch him in the nose.
If he was hoping to intimidate or shame me, he failed.
I give him a smile that’s laced with pure venom “Oh no, there’s nowhere I’d rather be this afternoon. Please let her know that I’ll be there.”
Anger flares in his hazel gaze, and he closes them for the space of a heartbeat. When he looks back at me, they’re ice cold. “I see,” his voice is grave and low.
“Glad you do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a hot stone… treatment waiting for me.” I allow myself a second to enjoy the indignation on his face before I shut the door
And then, I start to panic. My scalp tingles and my whole-body flushes hot. God, he could tell Marcel. And then I’d lose my children. My heart constricts. I make it to the toilet right before I throw up.
I strip, turn on the shower, and climb in. I sit on the floor, my knees drawn up to my chin, and let the hard pricks of cold water soothe me. As the water heats up and my pulse slows down, my panic turns to frustration. When I can breathe again, I force myself to think.
There’s only one way Hayes knows about us, and he’s snoring in my bed.
Whether he told him or said enough so Hayes could guess, doesn’t matter.
I was deluding myself thinking we could carry on any semblance of a relationship after we left this resort. Even if I leave Marcel, there’s too much shit in our way. And friendship…is laughable.
I’d been heartsick when I saw him laughing with those girls in their tent that first night on the island. And Stone…well, he may have outgrown stabbing people, but that possessive, determined spirit is still there. And, right now, the thought of being possessed by anyone, when I’m just on the cusp of finding myself, terrifies me.
I need to put a period at the end of this sentence.
Today.
I step out of the shower, call down to the salon and pull rank to get an appointment. I gaze at myself in the mirror. Freckles spangle the bridge of my nose. My hair is a wild cloud of curls and coils, some of them streaked by the sun. I love the way I look right now. But, like everything else that feels good about this trip, its time has come to an end.
I turn away from my reflection and start getting ready.
Chapter 31
Making an Entrance
Stone
“What the hell are you looking at?’ Dare asks. I drag my eyes away from the entrance of the restaurant and throw my napkin at his scowling face.
“Not you, so why are you worried about it?” I snap.
“Boys, behave.” Hetty, one of Hayes’ new neighbors in Rivers Wilde, and Gigi’s plus one, gives us a grandmotherly glare.
We all mumble apologies, and I turn back to watch the door.
When I woke, there was a note that read, “See you at brunch,” on the pillow where her head should have been.
I was confused until I got here and saw her name on one of the place cards. Confidence was bursting with excitement as she told me how they’d run into her and that Hayes went up to invite her this morning. My stomach clenched so hard I thought I’d be sick.
He came to her room this morning?
I glance at Hayes and he smiles briefly and turns his attention back to Gigi. He’s been nothing but relaxed and hasn’t mentioned her, or our conversation, at all. But Hayes is the master of hiding his emotions, so that doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Oh, my damn … Regan Landel is here?” Beau asks in an overly interested voice. I turn to him and follow his rapt gaze to the entrance that leads in from the beach.
The version of Regan that strides into the dining room is one I’ve never seen in person.
Her hair is blown straight and shines like polished sable when she moves. Her skin glows with something more than the sun kissed warmth I got used to seeing at the beach.
She’s dressed in an all-white floor length dress that was made to be worn by her. Two diamond shaped pieces of fabric cover each of her plump breasts, drape over her shoulders and meet at the nape of her neck in an oversized bow that sits on her left shoulder.
The deep “v” created by the scant bodice exposes the long column of her throat and the smooth, sun browned valley of skin between her breasts all the way to right above her belly button. The skirt has twin slits that reveal her legs from toe to damn near the top of her hip with every step she takes in her blush pink, open toe shoes. The heels are needle thin and so high that her lithe and graceful frame is nearly as tall as I am.
Beau lets out a low whistle of appreciation and I grit my teeth. “You know I’d never even think about touching another woman, but she is fucking hot, man. Even her toes are perfect. God, I wish I was a billionaire. I’d lay it at her feet for just one night of—"
“Don’t finish that sentence,” I snap, uncaring that I sound like a fucking cave man.
Beau looks at me askance and then bursts out laughing. “Ohhh, I forgot you had a thing for her.”
“I was ten,” I snap and look back at my phone. And what I felt then is a mere star, compared to the galaxy of emotions that make up the thing I have for her now.
“Was she always a looker?” Beau asks never taking his hungry eyes from Regan. I want to tell him she’s mine. That he can’t look at her like that.
Instead, I nod. “Always.”
“Hey guys, does everyone know Regan Landel? Her family founded Rivers Wilde and her twin brother is a friend of both of ours.” Confidence, her eyes bright as Regan approaches.
Hayes is glaring at me with a warning in his expression. I don’t know what came over me yesterday. I know better. If there’s one thing Hayes isn’t good at, it’s minding his own business.
“Well, now I know why Landel never lets her out of his sight. And why he’s so damn possessive. I heard some guy lost a finger for dancing too close to his ‘crown jewel’ at a fundraiser.”
I roll my eyes but inwardly my insides feel like water. “He’s a publisher, not a gangster and if she’s his crown jewel, why is she here without him?”
Beau scoffs and smirks conspiratorially. “I’ve heard his family’s publishing and real estate is just a front for other stuff.”
By “he’s heard,” he means Cadence told him. That woman has a talent for curating and aggregating gossip that seems to far outweigh her talent for anything else.
“Well, I’m sure you’ve got reliable insider info, but given that I’ve spent the last year living in a city where corruption and crime are a way of life for most people, I can tell you the wives of men who are really involved with the cartels don’t travel through Mexico alone.”
“Okay, well, you go ahead and think that, and I’m going to get a tequila sunrise and enjoy the suddenly much improved view.”
Chapter 32
Goodbye
Regan
Confidence looks as fresh as a daisy and radiates with happiness. I let down some of my reserve to give her a genuine hug of congratulations. Hayes got an air kiss. When she got to Stone, my inflection and expression were exactly the same with him, as they were with everyone else, she introduced me to.
She sat me across from him, in between Dare and her best friend, Cass.
Cass has been preoccupied with her date. Dare has been preoccupied with his phone. And Stone has been preoccupied with glaring at me.
I haven’t looked at him properly since I walked in, and it’s killing me. I miss him. The days we spent together were amazing. We took pictures, posed like a couple, held hands as we toured ruins, fucked in the ocean, and for a brief moment, I forgot who I was.
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