Short Stories from the Star Kingdom

by Lindsay Buroker

  “How important is this to you?” he asked, never daunted by a challenge.

  “It’s for an assignment. I would like to perform adequately. My faculty advisor has a fondness for environmental studies and versatile researchers who push themselves by delving into areas outside of their specialization. Mine is the human biome and creating symbiotic bacteria that can improve health and help people survive better in space, but I have studied all manner of bacteria, including those that exist in the environment on Odin and are beneficial to animals and fauna. In the last few years, Odin’s carbon-dioxide levels in the atmosphere have risen. I read that other planets in the Twelve Systems have genetically engineered trees and other photoautotrophs to increase their uptake of CO2. Since gene modification is illegal in the Kingdom, I have been debating whether a similar effect could be accomplished through manipulating a tree’s microbiome.”

  “Does the presence of zindi bark borers affect the bacteria?” Casmir waved toward the spot on the trunk again.

  “You know the name of the insect species.” It was a statement, but it almost sounded like a question, like she was surprised.

  “Sure. Scientific name Agrilus zindiatus. I think the zindi trees are supposed to be treated two or three weeks after first bloom to prevent infestations, but I’m not sure if the landlord did it this year. Those security drones should zap him.”

  “To answer your question, yes, the bacteria that make the tree their home increase in numbers when a threat to the wood is detected and appear to prompt the zindi to absorb more CO2 to make its wood less appealing to the borers. I believe that with a little tinkering, I could make the effect more pronounced, as an aid to the environment as a whole and also to improve the defensive mechanisms of the trees.”

  “Genetic tinkering?” Casmir raised his eyebrows, wondering why it would be permissible to alter the genes of bacteria but not the genes of a tree.

  “Bacteria reproduce so rapidly that it’s possible to create speciation in a relatively short period of time, using similar tactics as farmers employ to give us new breeds of fruits and vegetables.”

  Casmir noticed that she hadn’t quite denied his question, but as long as she didn’t create monster mutant trees with legs and an urge to destroy the city, he had few objections. As someone with a handful of medical issues that might have been resolved with a little gene editing, he wished the government weren’t so strict on its policies.

  “My advisor has published numerous studies on ways to remediate environmental issues through science,” Kim added. “I believe this project, if I can accomplish it, would please her.”

  “So, you’re trying to suck up?” Casmir grinned.

  Kim frowned at him. “I’m attempting to work in an area that is of interest to the person who gave the assignment. Mindy is breeding fungi with the ability to feast on toxic spills and turn the damaging elements into innocuous or beneficial matter.”

  “So, you’re sucking up and trying to outdo your archnemesis.”

  Kim’s frown turned into a look of exasperation.

  “Say no more.” Casmir lifted a hand. “I understand completely. Come inside, please. I can help you get your sample.”

  Casmir headed into the house, wondering if she would follow him past the threshold. If she had a cleanliness obsession—or dirt phobia—she might consider it too risky to enter the house. She did hesitate on the stoop, but then she clenched her jaw and walked in with determination.

  “My room is upstairs. I keep the drones under the bed.” He took the stairs two at a time. Maybe if he encouraged her to pass swiftly through the house, she wouldn’t worry about the magazines and technical manuals stacked against the wall on each step. The house did not have enough shelving.

  “Better than sex toys, I suppose,” Kim muttered.

  Casmir bumped his toe on the top step, tripped, and caught himself on the wall. He almost said those were in the nightstand, but that was where he kept his spare sensors, pistons, motors, and actuators. His knowledge of sex toys was limited. He’d always been worried he would have a seizure or otherwise embarrass himself horribly if he walked into an adult store.

  “There’s the second bedroom.” He pointed through the first open door to the bed, dresser, nightstand, and holo gaming station, all that remained now that Jay had moved out. With his stuff gone, it almost looked clean. “It’s got a little balcony there that overlooks the backyard. There’s a patio back there and a table. Trees with birds and squirrels. It’s pretty peaceful, considering the campus is in the middle of the biggest city on the planet.”

  Kim’s eyebrows twitched, but she didn’t acknowledge the words or gaze wistfully at the admittedly tiny balcony. He might be fighting a losing battle as far as winning her as a roommate. Oh, well. He could still help her get her sample.

  He flopped onto his belly and pulled out his Cloud Viper 10X and a remote control, while she gripped the doorjamb to his room and eyed the tools, clothes, and half-finished projects spread across the desk, the bookcase, and the majority of the floor.

  “Your student bio said you’re twenty-five,” Kim said.

  “Yes, that’s right. I’m not overly mature for my age.”

  She flicked a hand to encompass his mess. “Clearly.”

  Casmir wasn’t sure age had anything to do with one’s cleaning habits—or lack thereof—but he decided not to return the insult. He considered the drone’s nose. “I have a drill attachment, but that would just cut a hole. I wonder… I think we have a zucchini corer in the kitchen. Wait here.”

  “A zucchini what?”

  “Corer,” Casmir called back as he ran down the stairs. “My first roommate studied physics by day and took culinary school classes at night.” He trotted into the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers. “He used to mix up concoctions and stuff them into the middle of vegetables. Here it is.”

  He waved the stainless steel zucchini corer, pleased by how sturdy it looked. But would it be strong enough to cut into wood? He ran a quick mental calculation and decided it could probably withstand the RPMs necessary for the task.

  Kim was waiting at the top of the stairs. Casmir showed her the device, then ran back into his room for the drill attachment and some tools. She watched from the doorway as he made his drone-coring machine.

  “Just like the giant borers they use to make train tunnels through the mountains.” Casmir looked out the window, but it was on the wrong side of the house to have a good view of the tree. “Let’s go up on the roof.”

  She stepped aside, so he could pop into Jay’s old room and open the balcony door. On the way in, Kim warily opened the bathroom door and peered inside. She closed it quickly.

  “Hm, there used to be a ladder out here. Jay was big into astronomy. He had a telescope up there for a while.”

  Kim slipped past him, hopped onto the railing, and pulled herself onto the roof as easily as she’d climbed the tree. Casmir eyed the slender metal railing and the not unsubstantial height of the roof.

  Kim poked her head over the edge, her black ponytail dangling down. “Hand me the drone.”

  Casmir held it up to her, and she bent low and lifted it onto the roof. There weren’t any footholds or handholds up there, so he didn’t know how she kept her balance. Her head disappeared.

  Casmir braced a hand on the wall and pulled himself onto the railing. It wobbled alarmingly, and his instincts were to scramble back down, not up. The patio below looked very hard.

  “Do you want a hand?” Kim’s head reappeared. She must have set the drone somewhere safe.

  “Would it be embarrassing if I needed a girl to help me up?”

  “More embarrassing if you fell.”

  “Good point.”

  She lowered a hand, fortunately making an allowance on her no-touching rule. Avoiding that in this instance would have been difficult. He grabbed the gutter and her hand, and she helped hoist him onto the rooftop.

  “Thank you.” He spotted his drone and crawle
d to it, thinking this project would have been easier by day. At least the cul-de-sac out front was well lit with street lamps.

  Using the remote control, he thumbed on the drone, and it whirred into the air, propeller humming. He guided it to the tree and set the drill bit—and zucchini corer—to spinning.

  “This won’t take long at all,” Casmir said.

  “A little higher.” Kim pointed. “That was the spot.”

  The grinding of wood soon reached their ears.

  Kim shifted her pointing finger from the tree to the cul-de-sac. “That security drone is coming back.”

  “Really? Damn. I didn’t think it would detect something so small. Does campus security have a camera on my rooftop?”

  Casmir guided the Viper away from the tree, but the security drone whipped in, hovering next to it, just as it had hovered by Kim.

  “It is illegal to tamper with heritage zindi trees on campus,” the drone announced, its little camera focused first on the Viper and then shifting to rotate slowly around. Looking for the people with the remote control? “You will be punished.”

  Casmir flopped flat on his stomach, in case that helped them avoid being seen, then used the little joystick on the remote to command his drone to ram into the security one.

  Kim flinched as metal crunched.

  “What are you doing?” she whispered.

  The security drone whirred away from its attacker and zipped out of sight behind the tree. Hopefully, it would flee all the way back to its headquarters.

  Casmir guided the Viper back to the roof, so he could take the cylinder of wood and bark it had extracted.

  As soon as he had it in hand, the security drone reappeared, coming in from around the other side of the tree. It whirred straight toward the roof, hovering as it faced Casmir and Kim.

  So much for not being seen. Well, he had a solution for that.

  Casmir directed the Viper to ram into their airborne nemesis again. Since the drone races were highly competitive and could get violent, he’d given his craft extra armor, and the corer on the end was like the tip of a knight’s halberd. His drone had no trouble handling the mission.

  Kim punched him in the shoulder as the security drone flew away—fled away—from the rooftop.

  “For someone with an aversion to touching,” Casmir said, keeping his eyes on the drones as he directed his to ram the security one again, “you’re giving me a lot of attention tonight.”

  “I don’t mind punching. Especially when you’re getting us both in trouble.”

  “No, I’m not. You’ll see.”

  His drone smashed into the other one over and over until it crashed onto the sidewalk in front of the neighbor’s lawn. The Viper did a barrel roll and a victory lap. He’d forgotten he had programmed that in for after it won races.

  Kim slapped her hand to her face. “How are we not going to get in trouble? Security will see this as a far greater crime than taking a sample from a tree.”

  “They won’t figure out it was us, not if the footage on the drone’s camera is irrecoverable.” Casmir scooted back toward the balcony. “We just have to get down there and get it before campus security shows up. The human version.”

  “It’s in your neighbor’s yard,” Kim said, but hurried after him. “You don’t think they’ll suspect you?”

  “Nah, I’m a respected robotics grad student.”

  Fortunately, getting down from the roof was easier than getting up, and he didn’t embarrass himself. He jogged through the house, with Kim trailing him. But before they reached the door, the doorbell rang.

  “I wish I could say I’d ordered a pizza, but I didn’t,” Casmir said.

  Kim groaned.

  “I didn’t expect security to be so on the ball. It must be a slow night.”

  Casmir waved Kim to the side and answered the door. A uniformed man stood there, holding the battered wreckage of the drone.

  “Oh, dear,” Casmir said. “What happened?”

  He smiled innocently and tried not to feel guilty about his deception, but he imagined his father’s disappointed face as he prepared to deliver a lecture. Or maybe his father would drag him off to see Rabbi Gurwitz so he could deliver the lecture. That had happened a couple of times during Casmir’s teenage years. Now that he thought about it, a desire to impress a girl might have also been at the root of those incidents of questionable behavior.

  “I thought you might be able to tell me,” the uniformed man said. “Someone vandalized a campus security drone. Did you see anything?”

  “No, not at all.” Rabbi Gurwitz’s face floated in his mind. Casmir told himself this was for the good of Kim’s project. “I thought I heard something though. Sort of a wrenching of metal.”

  “Yes.” The man quirked an eyebrow and looked down at the decidedly wrenched drone.

  Casmir couldn’t tell if the man suspected him or not. “It was probably some young student. You know who’s known for brutalizing law enforcement robots? Curtis Mullins. I saw him kick one of the security androids in the leg just last week. And he lives two blocks over. You should definitely check with him.”

  The man’s eyes narrowed, but he stepped back. “Very well. I’ll speak with him.”

  Casmir shut the door and leaned against it. “I think we’re safe. The camera was definitely busted. There won’t be any footage to condemn us.”

  “Who’s Curtis Mullins?”

  “My archnemesis.” Casmir grinned. “I owe him too. He had a bunch of sex androids delivered to my backyard at my last birthday party. My parents and grandparents were there. But don’t worry. Curtis won’t get in trouble when there’s no evidence to condemn him. He might pee himself a little when security shows up at his door though. That would be delightful. Oh, here you go.”

  Casmir pulled the wood sample out of his pocket and dropped it into Kim’s hand.

  Her expression wasn’t as full of gratitude as he might have hoped. “Don’t you feel like a delinquent for destroying that drone?”

  “Oh, no. Not for that. The lying makes me feel a bit like a heinous criminal, but I work in the robotics lab. Someone in security will bring that by on Monday, and I’ll volunteer to be the one to fix it.” Casmir stepped aside and opened the door for her, not wanting her to feel like he was trapping her in the house. “Good luck with your project.”

  She looked at the sample again, like someone might look at stolen jewelry purchased from a fence and given as a gift, but she did walk out with it.

  Casmir closed the door and returned to cleaning the house.

  * * *

  • • • • •

  * * *

  A week later, shortly after Casmir returned from his classes, a knock sounded at the door. Kim stood on the stoop, her hands clasped behind her back, her expression difficult to read. He didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t expected to see her again.

  “I fixed the security drone,” he offered, in case his integrity had been in question in her eyes. “And repaired three others. As I predicted, someone from security brought them by in a big box. Drone vandalism isn’t that uncommon. I made sure to wipe the drive on the one that witnessed our—my—antics. Just in case.”

  “That is good. I turned in my project. My advisor liked it.” Kim hesitated, as if she wasn’t sure she should admit anything else. “It got more praise and higher marks than Mindy’s project.”

  Casmir grinned. “I’m glad. Defeating one’s archnemesis is a joy everyone should experience on a regular basis.”

  “Is the roommate position still available?”

  He kept his surprise to a mere raising of his eyebrows. “It is. I wanted to wait until the cleaning robot was fixed to invite more candidates over.”

  He stepped aside and opened the door so she could see into the living room. It was still full of stuff, but it had all been dusted and stacked as tidily as possible, and the surfaces were visible on all pieces of the furniture. Even on the plant stand, which, for the first time
in three years, had a plant on it.

  “Huh,” she said.

  “Does that mean you’re interested?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent.” Casmir reached over to give her a pat, remembered her no-touching rule, and turned the gesture into a goofy thumbs up.

  She hesitated, and he braced himself, afraid that had been too close and she would remind him of her preferences. Instead, she stuck out her hand. He grinned again and accepted the handclasp, deciding that, from her, it probably meant more than a gushing thank-you-for-your-help.

  * * *

  THE END

  Cultured and Clawed

  Cultured and Clawed

  Captain Bonita “Laser” Lopez stood at the base of the Stellar Dragon’s ramp as robot loaders rolled crates out of her cargo hold, across the busy space station docks, and to one of the warehouses where a bored android supervisor checked them off.

  Her knees ached, a byproduct of nearly seventy years of life and far too many injury-producing skirmishes as a bounty hunter, but she made herself stand with her arms crossed, her hands inches from the twin DEW-Tek pistols holstered at her waist. Twin Suns Station, which was run by corporations with varying degrees of disinterest in law enforcement wasn’t a good place to appear weak.

  “Hey, Grandma,” a man with a bag slung over his shoulder said with a wink. “How about a quickie?”

  “That all you have the stamina for, peewee?”

  “I got plenty of stamina, but I wouldn’t want to hurt you with my undying vigor.”

  “With lines like that, hijito, you’ll never get close enough to any woman to take your vigor out of your pants.”

  He curled a lip, eyeing her pistols and the crates being wheeled off with calculation. He either decided there was nothing small enough to easily steal or that she was too formidable to mess with.

  Alas, the latter was unlikely. With a pistol, rifle, dagger, or hefty rock in her hand, Bonita could still knock the cojones off a flea at a hundred meters, but people didn’t seem to sense that at a glance anymore. It was the gray hair, no doubt. She had the money to dye it, even if she couldn’t afford knee surgeries or anti-aging treatments, but she made herself put vanity aside. It was better to be underestimated than the other way around.