Until The Stars Fall: A Just The Way You Are Novel

by Kade, Abigail

  Our server came over, and she had a lovely voice, quiet and sweet. She was charming as she got our drink orders. I thought for sure Ladd would be a wine drinker, but he ordered sweet tea instead. It made me a little self-conscious that I had ordered a beer. “Are you sure you don’t want something to drink? I’m only having this one since I’m driving, but feel free to have anything you like.”

  “Oh, that’s all right, you go ahead.” Ladd waved his hand at my beer glass. “Actually, I don’t drink alcohol, so you feel free to have whatever.” I was taken aback by his admission. Had I missed something? Was he in recovery or did he just not drink for other reasons. At that moment, I realized just how very little I really knew about the beautiful man sitting across from me. I determined then and there to find out every last detail, starting this minute. What else was a first date for anyway?

  “So why don’t you drink? I don’t have to drink anything if it’s a problem for you.”

  He shook his head emphatically. “No, honestly, it’s fine. It’s not like I’m in recovery or anything. I just prefer not to drink. I’ve had bad experiences in the past with alcohol, so I just choose not to.” As far as an explanation, it was bare bones at best, but it was something at least.

  Our server came back to tell us the specials, and we decided to just order appetizers for now and decide on the entrees once they arrived. We were settling into a lighthearted conversation about the beautiful chandelier Ladd had found for the stairwell leading to the apartments when everything went to shit.

  “Well, well, if it isn’t Ladd Eldridge,” I heard a loud and slightly slurred voice call next to our table. I glanced up and glared at the asshole who was interrupting our date. He was strikingly handsome in that blonde, tan, jock way cocky assholes usually had. He was dressed impeccably, with every hair kept ruthlessly in place with way too much product. I could tell immediately he was rich and entitled, but I was curious to know how he knew Ladd. I had to get on top of this because from Ladd’s reactive flinch and blush at this man’s approach, I had a feeling this could go sideways fast.

  “Can I help you?” I asked in my most neutral tone of voice.

  The jerk gave me a once over similar to the one I had gotten from the restaurant host, then without answering turned back to Ladd. “Having dinner with the help now, Ladd? Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Knowing what I know now about you, it even makes sense. How long did you think you could keep your background a secret from everyone?” He sneered down at Ladd. I cut my eyes over at Ladd and noticed he had his eyes trained on his bread plate, jaw tight, and his hands had a grip on the edge of the table so tight that his knuckles had turned white.

  “No response, Ladd? That’s okay. I just wanted you to know that I’m glad I found out about you and your gutter trash brothers before we got serious. You nearly had us all fooled with your perfect manners and college degrees, but we all know the truth now.” Ladd flinched as this asshole kept saying obviously hurtful things to him. I didn’t understand what he was insinuating, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to let this carry on one second more.

  I stood up to my full height, thrilled that I was much taller than this asshole. Seeing me looming over him, the guy took a stumbling step back away from our table. “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you’re interrupting our date, and I think you need to move along now.” I tried to keep my irritation out of my voice but knew I sounded just about as pissed as I felt.

  “Well, my name is Parker Radcliff.” He barked in a tone that implied I should recognize the name. When I didn’t react, he huffed. “I went out with Ladd a time or two, but thank God I found out about his past before going further. You look a little more his speed now. He doesn’t belong with the old money families in town, no matter what his last name is.”

  I was losing what fucking little patience I had with this asshole and a quick glance at Ladd, still locked in silence and staring blankly at the table, told me I needed to end this. “What the hell is your problem?”

  Parker’s face turned a weird shade of reddish purple. “My problem is someone pretending they’re something when they’re not. Ladd is no more an Eldridge than you are. His dad might have been from the family, but his mother was a drunk hooker. He grew up like a gypsy in rat trap motels all over the country, and he even sold himself for cash after his drunk mother abandoned them and got herself killed. It’s just luck that he and his brothers found their family here. They’ve been living the high life on the Eldridge money for over ten years now, pretending to be just as good as the rest of us when he isn’t and never will be!”

  Ladd shot up out of his chair so fast it turned over onto the floor behind him with a bang. I could see his eyes had turned wide and wild and he jumped at the loud noise, making it even more obvious how quiet the entire restaurant had gotten. With a look around, I saw every set of eyes in the room were trained on our corner. Ladd’s eyes were wet with unshed tears when they finally landed on mine. He shook his head and mouthed a silent, “I’m so sorry, Connor,” as he looked around and saw we were the center of this horrible drama. He threw the napkin he had twisted up in both hands onto the table and ran out of the room.

  Parker’s laughter followed him as he escaped, and I had to push down my urge to punch this asshole for hurting Ladd so cruelly. I pulled out my wallet, threw down some cash for what we’d ordered and moved to follow Ladd while Parker still stood there laughing, oblivious to the critical looks he was now getting from his audience. “Are you really dating that freak?” Parker asked when he could catch his breath. “He’s cute enough I guess for a redhead, but he’s weird as fuck. Wanted me to dominate his ass, then when I did, he turned into a total pillow princess. Just a word of advice though, whenever you get ready to fuck him for the first time, be sure you pull the stick out of his frigid ass first. Or maybe rough him up a little bit first. Maybe you’ll have more luck getting him to actually move.”

  The asshole never saw the hit coming. I pulled my punch to his face just a little because I didn’t want to put him in the hospital, and I had a man to go chase after. The sound of his scream and the blood pouring from his nose made me smile though. I didn’t stop to see what the aftermath would be, but I did notice our server from earlier smiling as she took a photo of Parker writhing on the ground with her phone. She winked at me as I went past and whispered, “If he calls the cops I’ll tell them he threw the first punch. Y’all were so sweet, and that asshole never tips more than five percent.” I made a mental note to come back here another time and tip this sweet lady big.

  I ran out of the restaurant thinking that Ladd would be long gone, but I found him leaning his back up against my truck, arms hugging himself, eyes looking down at his loafers. He looked so young and alone in his slacks, blue shirt and red bowtie, like a little boy who had run away from the school dance because he had been picked on by the school bully. I guess that wasn’t that far off from what had just happened. He looked to be bracing for something, even though the assault had already taken place a few moments before. I slowed my forward momentum and approached him slowly. At last, when he didn’t bolt, or even move, I mirrored his stance against the truck and waited.

  He didn’t speak for several long minutes, but I waited. This was his story to tell, or not. But I would wait and follow his lead. Finally, he began to speak, never moving anything but his lips, arms hugging himself tighter as he went.

  “I remember my dad in small snippets. They’re fuzzy memories, more impressions really, but I remember we were happy. We traveled a lot. Dad took odd jobs, and Mom waitressed wherever we went. They liked to be free spirits. About a year after Remy and Rhett were born, Dad died. I’m not sure what happened, Mom would never say, just that he had gone to heaven and would never be back. After that, we were never as happy. I didn’t realize it then, but she went into a deep depression and started drinking to numb the pain. I don’t think she ever did anything else, like drugs or anything like that, but I can’t be sure.
>
  I was almost four when Dad died and Mom checked out. So really as long as I can remember, the twins were mine to raise. I did the best a little kid can do. We lived from motel to motel, city to city until I was fifteen and the twins were thirteen. We were in New Orleans for a few months, when Mom just disappeared. I was doing all I could do to make money for us to eat.” Ladd was getting agitated now, shaking a little and gripping his shirt at his waist tighter and tighter. “I did my best to take care of us. I was alone with two brothers to take care of, and I was only fifteen, for fuck’s sake. I bussed tables at a local place, and he paid me under the table. There was this pimp that kept trying to turn me out, but I swear to you, Connor, I never sold myself.” He heaved a sob, and I couldn’t take his suffering any longer.

  “Come here,” I said and reached over and pulled him into my chest. He came willingly, gripping his arms tightly around my waist and burying his head in my neck. In this cradled position he calmed down after a few minutes and continued.

  “One night a guy broke into our apartment looking for mom. He attacked the twins and Rhett managed to knock him out. When I was packing all of our stuff for us to make a run for it, I found a letter Mom had gotten from a PI saying my Dad’s family was looking for us. I was so pissed at her for not saying anything. I could have killed her myself for hiding the fact we had family." He squeezed me tighter like I was the only thing anchoring him to the present. He was lost in his terrible memories, so I held him tight and waited for him to come back to me. He cried so long that I could feel the wetness soak through until the skin beneath was damp with it.

  Eventually, he sniffed back his tears and finished his story. “We came here to Fairpoint that night. The night the guy attacked us. Uncle James came and got us. He wanted to help Mom, too, if she wanted to be helped. He asked his private investigator friend, Mr. Parsons, to look for her or find out what happened to her. Two days after we left, they found her,” Ladd started shaking again, his voice trembling, “but it was too late.” God, my poor boy had lived such a hard life. All I wanted to do at that moment was keep him wrapped in my arms forever and keep the wolves at bay.

  “Shh, it’s okay, Ladd, I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go until you want me to.” I crooned, gently rocking him back and forth.

  Eventually, he calmed down and pulled back a little. Lifting his right hand up, he roughly wiped the tears from his face. “I’m so sorry to have ruined your date.” He was looking anywhere but at me and I wasn’t having that.

  “Oh, no you don’t. You are not taking responsibility for something that’s not your fault. That asshole inside with the broken nose is the one responsible for this little hiccup, not you. And it’s our date, not mine. Plus, our night’s not done, it hasn’t even really begun yet.”

  I thought for a second about Ladd’s reluctance to go to the restaurant earlier, and I realized, “I’m thinking you knew this was a place that Parker liked to go?” At Ladd’s nod, I understood. “So that’s why you were reluctant to go there.” Another nod, this time he lifted his still watery eyes up to mine. His small but sturdy body clutched in my embrace, his blue eyes peered so trustingly up into mine. He was heartbreakingly beautiful at that moment. I wanted to hold him like that forever, but I kept my thought to myself. He wouldn’t understand the feelings of protectiveness I already felt toward him. I didn’t even realize the depth of my feelings until this moment. I needed to process them first. Because how could I ever hope to explain how badly I wanted to keep all the bad in the world away from him if I didn’t understand it myself. But I knew, at this moment, that I wanted to be his knight. I wanted to slay all his dragons for him if he would let me.

  I could hold my feelings to myself for a little while longer, but I needed one thing to tide me over. I leaned down and softly touched my lips to his. I was going to keep it small and light, but Ladd had other ideas. He threw both of his arms around my neck and pulled me back when I would have let him go. I let out a grunt when his lips hit mine again, and he took advantage, pushing his tongue into my mouth and taking me over completely. He wasn’t gentle but demanded me to participate. We fought for dominance, sliding tongues and clicking teeth saying what we couldn’t say out loud just yet. Eventually, Ladd loosened up his hold, and we slowed to a stop, both of us panting and resting our foreheads together.

  “Wow.” Was all my brilliant mind could come up with at the moment, but it did the trick.

  Ladd returned my smile with one of his own, “Yeah, that was definitely wow.”

  We pulled back a little, and I finally got my brain in gear. I gave Ladd a little shake and a smirk, “Okay, well, now that we’re through with all of the negativity, we’ve got a date to start over.” Ladd gave me a hint of a smile as my hands trailed down his arms and I caught his hands. I held them out to either side of us and shook them out, giving my butt a little shimmy to get another smile out of him. It worked so well that he started to giggle this time and finally his laughing eyes were back.

  I quit shaking my booty, dropped our hands still clasped together and turned us toward the door to my truck. “Now, Mr. Eldridge, I need to feed you, so where should we go?” He looked up with another shy smile.

  “You don’t really have to take me anywhere, Connor. The night is pretty much ruined anyway, but thanks for being sweet. I’m sure you’ve had enough of me for one night.” His smile was gone now, and he looked so sad. I wouldn’t let him push me away though, so I needed to set him straight, right now.

  I leaned down until my eyes were level with his and stared into those blue depths for a moment before once again laying it all on the line. “Ladd Eldridge, don’t presume to tell me what I am or am not tired of. I am so sorry that this happened to you tonight. I wish I could make it go away, but I have to confess something. I’m glad that if it had to happen, that I was here to help. And I’m honored that you trusted me enough to tell me about your past. I told you earlier today that I wanted to experience everything with you. That doesn’t count for just the fun and happy things in life. I want all of your hurt, your pain, and your sadness, too. Because if you don’t share your pain with me, then I can’t help make it go away.”

  Ladd gave me a slow blink as he processed what I said. “That sounds beautiful, Connor, but I don’t know if I can do that just yet. I’m not sure I can trust that much so soon. I don’t want to hurt you or make you think that I’ll never be able to, but I want to be honest. I’ve been left behind and hurt so many times in my life. I don’t think I’ll survive losing someone else I care for.”

  I hugged my brave man to me and squeezed him. He had shared some of his past with me tonight, and I decided I needed to do the same. “Thank you for being honest, Ladd. I understand being left behind, trust me. I was dumped by my ex nine months ago. I was ready to ask him to marry me. I had bought the ring and planned the proposal, everything was all set, and I was so excited. I wanted to be married, have a home together, maybe even kids. And I truly believed I could have that with Troy. But a week before I was going to pop the question, he told me I wasn’t enough for him and left me. I was devastated. And if I’m honest, it still hurts so fucking much. So believe me, I understand being leery. I’m going to promise you something right now though. I’m not jerking you around here. I really like you, and I’m sticking around for as long as you’ll have me.” I ended the hug with another squeeze, then stepped back.

  “Okay so let’s get to our date.” I clapped my hands together and opened the truck door for Ladd to jump in. He didn’t wait for my help this time, and I didn’t push. He likely needed time to think through what I had said. By the time I got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

  Ladd had turned in his seat and asked. “How did you know he had a broken nose?” I wasn’t following so I scrunched up my eyebrows, turned my head to the side, and frowned.

  “Who?”

  Ladd looked just as confused, then elaborated. “Parker. How did you know that I broke his nose a couple of w
eeks ago? It looked completely healed when I looked at him tonight.”

  I couldn’t hold in my incredulous snort. “You broke that asshole’s nose a few weeks ago? How did that happen?” I really wanted to hear this story.

  “It was the first and only time he slept over, and he was being a demanding douche the next morning while I was trying to get ready for work. I told him no, and he started spouting off some pretty offensive stuff. Well, he went one step too far, and I clocked him in the face. But I still don’t know how you knew he had a broken nose.”

  I was cracking up when I realized what I had just done. Not only did I break the asshole’s nose, but I also cracked it after it had already just healed. Damn, that was going to hurt. Ladd was laughing with me now if still a little subdued. “I knew his nose was broken because I had just hit him in the face and broken it…again.” Ladd threw his hand up over his mouth in disbelief and then busted out giggling. After all of the heartbreaking events and revelations of the night, it was the sweetest sound. I continued laughing while I pulled out of the parking lot and turned toward downtown. “Hey, I hear there’s an Art Walk downtown tonight. How about we check that out and grab something from a food truck. It’s not fancy, but it might be fun.” I was hoping he would like this idea. I was thinking on the fly.

  Ladd’s eyes lit up when I mentioned the Art Walk. “Oh, I would love that. We can stop by Aunt Lillian’s gallery. Remy might be down there with his most recent work, too. I think you’ll really like both of them.” He looked excited to go see his family if his smile was any indication. I was glad we were finally getting this date back on the right track.