Royal Pain: A Step Brother Romance

by A. J. Moran

  “Is this the part where I tell you my whole life story?” I force a laugh and cringe internally at how fake it sounds.

  “If that is what you want to do. I’m here for you. So we will talk about what you want to talk about. If you want to spend the next hour talking about the weather we can do that, if you’d like to talk about what really brought you here we can do that as well.” Liz smiles gently at me and it reminds me a little of my mom.

  “My mom died of cancer within the last year.” The words tumble from me as if a damn had broken and I tell her almost without breath the whole story over the next 20 minutes.

  Liz nodded when appropriate and she took some notes while still paying attention to what I was saying. As I neared the end and the whole thing with Marcus I hesitated. What if she told me I was damaged? What if she confirmed all of my worst fears? Pushing on, I let the rest fall out of my mouth to land where they would.

  “It sounds like you’ve been through a lot.” Liz pauses and folds her hands lightly over her notepad, a pen still held between her fingers. “The first step in healing is talking about it. Now, the guy, Marcus that you mentioned, he seems to be the reason you made this appointment.”

  With a nod I silently agreed with her assessment.

  “Well, it sounds like he has been through a similar situation, as well as his brother Wade. It might be good for you to try to open up to them about it. It always helps to have someone around you that knows what it is like. Losing someone, especially someone like a mother or a father is very difficult at any age, and you are still very young. Maybe your dad moving in with his new girlfriend is a blessing in disguise and your chance to embrace your life again. If he hadn’t taken that step you would not have met two young men that know what you are going through. So, before our next appointment, I want you to try to reach out to one of them and open up a little. I know with your interactions with the one it may be a little hard but I think he does want to help. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.”

  I swallowed thickly and tried to nod my head. She was giving me homework. Not just any homework but emotionally draining homework.

  “I’ll try.” I promised in a whisper.

  “Fantastic!” She clapped her hands together once a wide smile gracing her wise face. “I will see you next Tuesday for our next session and I look forward to hearing about your progress. I think you will do amazing.”

  It was strange but having her confidence in me seemed to give me a strength I wasn’t aware I had and I took a deep breath and released it before nodding and returning her smile. I could do this.

  ◆◆◆

  I couldn’t do this. They were in the kitchen. I could hear them from where I stood just out of sight in the hallway. Wade was making some stupid joke and Marcus laughed lowly, his deep laugh washing over me.

  At the therapist’s office I felt like I could do this. But standing here my heart was beating against my rib-cage in a frantic pace and my hands were sweaty no matter how many times I brushed them against my jeans to dry them. I felt like my breathing wouldn’t normalize as I sucked in deep breaths trying to calm myself down. This wasn’t a big deal. Just walk in there and lay it all out there.

  “Whoa!” Wade flies around the corner and comes to a dead stop in front of me. “Are you lurking in the hallway sis?

  “What? Of course not.” I scoff with a shake of my head and then proceed to push past him and into the kitchen.

  My eyes automatically search for Marcus and our gaze meets. His shining with curiosity, mine probably filled with my dread. I blink away and focus on the counter top.

  “Hey, I have those notes you asked for.” Marcus’s warm voice pulls my gaze back to him and I watch as he digs through his backpack that is now resting on the counter. He grabs out a notebook and holds it up as if it is proof. A wide smile pulled at his lips.

  Glancing down again I push my hair behind my ear and nod, forcing a bright smile to my face. “Right, yeah, uh, thanks.”

  An awkward silence falls between us when I don’t reach for the extended notebook. Drawing in a deep breath I try to gather my courage. You know, the courage that fled as soon as I heard his voice.

  “You okay?”

  “I—I went to a therapist today. About my mom.” The words were out and a weight seemed to lift from me with that small admission. His bright green gaze searched my own and I forced myself to hold it and not look away. “I mean it is just a start but-“

  “That is great.” His words brushed over my fear and warmth filled me at the sincerity of his voice.

  Pulling out the chair at the counter I sit down and pull my bottom lip into my mouth for a moment before making up my mind. I was going to do this. I was going to open up to the first person since my mom died. My heart beat faster again at the thought.

  “My mom, she was kind and sassy and so full of life. It was really hard when she got sick, you know. Watching the life slowly die in her before she was actually gone was so painful. I shut down. I couldn’t handle it.” Closing my eyes I suck in a deep breath before continuing, “Then my dad seemed to move on so easily. He left me in the dark. I didn’t realize that I had willingly stayed there. She wouldn’t have wanted that for me. Then you happened,” I gesture at him with a sad smile, “the best and worst thing that has happened since she died.”

  Somehow he ended up next to me while I was talking and I turned towards him on the chair. I watched his chest move up and down in even breaths before pulling my eyes up to his. What I saw in them made my breath catch, it was warmth and comfort and so much more. Silently he moved closer and drew me into a hug. Burying my head into his shoulder I breathed in his unique smell.

  “I want to live in the light again Marcus.” I admitted in a whisper.

  “You can and you will. You took the first step and that is the hardest one to take. I know from experience.” He pulled back and rested his hands on either side of my face. “I will be here for you if you let me.”

  “No promises.” I try to laugh to lighten the moment.

  “Right, no promises,” he repeats with a smile.

  Chapter 47

  Marcus

  It was more than I had hoped for. My ‘hope’ had almost crawled away to die a slow and painful death in the last week. As I looked down at Taylor, a smile finally on her lips and directed at me, I felt like the Grinch at the part where his heart grows ten times. I wanted to celebrate like I had won some play off game or the lottery. It was the same adrenaline rush and the same happiness that coursed through me.

  Taylor pulled me back to her, her arms wrapping around my waist and her head falling to that spot on my shoulder that felt like it was made for her. It felt right. It was exactly where I was supposed to be. I wasn’t sure what this all meant for us, as in a real relationship, but I would take it all one-step at a time. No rushing. No pushing for more. She could set the pace.

  The feeling of her nuzzling into my neck has me wanting to throw out every single noble thought I just had. It was heaven. Or hell. It was probably both if I was honest. Close enough to touch but not close enough to hold onto. Closing my eyes I held her tighter until a throat cleared behind me and we jumped apart like we were half naked in my bed or something.

  “Dad!” Taylor says her voice a little too high to be called normal especially with the little squeak at the end. “What are you doing home?”

  Ignoring her he glared at me, “Is there something going on here I should know about?”

  He was totally in over protective father mode. I don’t think being his girlfriend's kid was going to earn me any points. My hand instinctively went up to rub at the tension now in my neck.

  “God dad, really?” Taylor huffs and puts her hand on her hip now facing her dad. “It was a hug. No big deal. Besides you are the one that said we had something in common. Geez.” She pushes past him and I can hear her soft footfalls as she retreats to her room, leaving me to face the firing squad that is her father.

  “It,
uh,” I clear my throat that suddenly feels like it might have a frog stuck in it and I gesture to the door she left out of. “Nothing is really happening.” I squeak like I’m going through puberty again.

  “Listen here Marcus, I know you are a good kid. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve come out of it very well. But Taylor hasn’t been so lucky.”

  It wasn’t my place to tell him what she told me so I just nodded and found a spot on the gray and white tile that swirled just a little differently, very interesting.

  “Losing her mom has been hard on her. So you are not going to waltz in here and take advantage of her.” His voice slowly started to rise with each word and I held back a wince when he finished. If he only knew what had already happened. He would hang me by my toes until they fell off. If not another part of my body.

  “Yes, sir.” I just barely held back the solute. He would have really killed me then.

  “Great.” He clapped me on the shoulder in a firm grip, letting me know exactly how strong he was for an old guy. “Just so we don’t have any misunderstandings.”

  “Nope, we are clear.” I nod and stuff my hands into my pocket. I wasn’t even sure anything would happen between Taylor and me. It didn’t make sense to lay it all out there for him and get him all upset and talking to my mom. That would end with me being dragged by my ear down to her level to have a talk.

  Making a quick exit I take the steps two at a time and come to a stop just outside Taylor's room. Hesitating with my hand rose to knock, I raised it in a slight wave as she opened her door.

  “Hey,” it comes out a little deep and I smile slightly. She caught me off guard.

  “Hey,” she looks towards the stairs and back at me before grabbing onto my sleeve and pulling me into her room.

  “What are you doing?” I looked back at the door as she closed it behind us.

  She shrugs and walks over to a little sitting area that is about the size of my own. I watch as she curls her legs under herself and pats the cushion nearby.

  “Sorry about my dad.”

  “Yeah, thanks for that by the way.” I laugh and lean back on the sofa. “It was like getting grilled by a girlfriend's dad but not being able to escape.”

  “Does that happen a lot?” She grins over at me. I could tell she was trying for normal.

  “Not as often as you would think.”

  “Right, you don’t stick with them that long.” She raises a single eyebrow and smiles slightly. I know it’s a dig but her smile takes the sting out of it and I find that I can’t hold back my own grin.

  “Well, you gotta find the one. Can’t do that sitting still.”

  “Oh god, you are such a guy.” She throws a pillow at me and I catch it in the air and launch it back at her.

  “I would hope so.” I reply with a laugh and I pretend to check to make sure. “Yep all the right parts.”

  “Ugh!” She laughs. “Just when I thought you weren’t too bad.”

  Taylor shoves at my shoulder lightly and I wrap my hand around her fingers and hold on. “I’m not that bad.”

  “Sometimes.” She glances up at me with a soft look on her face. “Thanks for listening before. It means a lot. I know that we have had a pretty bumpy relationship, but I’d really like to try for a friendship.”

  Oh God, not the dreaded ‘Friendship’ type of relationship. Was she friend zoning me? Resigned. I put on a smile and nod at her because trusting my voice right now probably wouldn’t be the best idea. I’d probably squeak again or something as equally embarrassing.

  “What are you going to do about Samantha?” I asked instead, changing the subject to one that wasn’t so painful for me.

  With a long sigh she picked at the arm of the couch and avoided looking at me. “I don’t know. She was one of my closest friends and it was like she just threw it away as soon as she had a story to run. Like she didn’t even talk to me. It really hurt.”

  “Well, she defended you pretty strongly when I told them all. I’m surprised that she didn’t talk to you about it.”

  Taylor leaned back and clutched a pillow to her chest and shook her head in a denial. “I still don’t think that matters. She was my friend and she should have talked to me.”

  “Well, you could say that you should have talked to her first. You know since she was your friend.” I lifted an eyebrow making my point. She sucked in a deep breath and I knew I had made a point that she didn’t want to acknowledge. “Part of this healing thing is making things right with people.” I wasn’t sure if I was pushing my luck and would be thrown out at any moment, but it was true. She couldn’t hide from it anymore. I knew better than most what hiding could do. It put you into a really dark place that is hard to claw yourself out of.

  Taylor blinked slowly at me and I almost opened my mouth to take it all back when I noticed the moisture at the corner of her eyes.

  Then she nodded, “You’re right, I haven’t been a very good friend either.”

  At her words the pressure that had been building inside my chest released and I sucked in a breath. Her whiskey brown gaze landed on mine and held. I watched as she pulled the corner of her lower lip into her mouth and bit on it while she waited for a response from me. All while I could barely form any thought besides the one that was urging me to kiss her right now. Heat zipped through my body and I almost leaned towards her to close the distance.

  “Well those are words I never thought I’d hear you say.” I chuckled trying to ease the tension that had started to spread into the air between us as I plastered myself against the arm of the couch that was opposite of her. It was best to keep that distance between us or I'd try for more than just friends minutes after accepting it.

  “Don’t get used to it.”

  “Could you say it again so I could record it?” I cocked up one of my eyebrows and tilted my head to the side.

  “Shut up.” She throws another one of her pillows at me. But the smile I was rewarded with made me want to tease her some more.

  “Hang on—“ I paused and pulled out my phone, pretending to turn on video recording. “Just speak clearly and look right here.” I tapped the camera. She swatted at my hand when I held the phone out to her and then burst out laughing.

  “I didn’t realize you were a dork. I guess you have the whole school fooled.”

  “There is a lot you don’t know about me.” It came out way more suggestive than I intended but the blush that spread across her cheeks was all the encouragement I needed. “We can exchange secrets and you can show me the way of Taylor.”

  “In your dreams.” She snorted.

  “If you only knew.”

  Chapter 48

  Taylor

  Over the next month, a new rhythm fell into place between Marcus, Wade, and me. We started driving to school together and I would just wait for them to get done with practice. It wasn’t that bad. It made my dad and Claire really happy. I had tried to start talking to Samantha again, but it wasn’t the same.

  The whole scandal had blown over and I was back to being just another body in the hallways, with the exception of Marcus and Wade walking next to me most of the time, at least when our schedules crossed. It almost felt like Marcus went out of his way to walk with me, but he wouldn’t admit it.

  My therapist was happy with my progress and she said taking the steps I was taking would help me to heal fully. I wasn’t positive I would ever be fully healed, but at least now I could smile when I talked about my mom.

  It was finally a sunny afternoon. Still chilly but not yet winter. I couldn’t resist the sun and I climbed into the back of the truck and pulled out a book while I waited for the boys. I was pulled so far into the story that I jumped and let out a little squeal when Marcus's hand tapped the side of the truck.

  He cocked an eyebrow and laughed, “That good huh?”

  “God you scared me. Where is Wade?” I ask looking behind him towards the field.

  He shrugged, “He said he had somewhere to be. He wa
s being a little tight-lipped with what he had planned though. Looks like it's just us.”

  At his bright smile I felt a little lightheaded. I was never going to get used to that smile directed at me, granted it was just in friendship but it was enough. It had to be enough, because I knew he didn't feel more than that for me. I would just take my little slice of friendship we were able to build out of that mess and be happy with it. If I keep telling myself the same thing maybe it would actually sink in. Sure he could be flirty and he could say some naughty things that make me blush, but that was just him. It wasn't his fault I lost my heart to him.

  “Hey, you okay?” He reached out and his hand landed on my shoulder, sort of a mixture of an awkward pat and a half rub. With a quick nod I closed my book and focused myself on getting it into my bag. Any time he touched me my brain and body went on the fritz no matter how innocent. “You want to grab some food before we go home?”

  Do I want to spend alone time with the guy I can't have for real? That would be a yes, what can I say I'm in too deep. With another mute nod I climb out of the back of the truck. “Yeah, I could go for a milkshake.”

  “Joe's it is then.” He taps the truck again and pulls open the drivers door with a half smile. I could read into that, but then that would hurt.

  This was officially the first time that we were going to be completely alone since the first day I met with my therapist. I had been avoiding being alone with him if I was honest. At first it was because I was a little too raw to pretend that I was okay. Now, it was because I was trying to keep my distance so I wouldn't get hurt. I could do the friends thing. I could do the step-brother thing. Right?

  “You're quiet today.” Marcus glanced over before turning his attention back to the stoplight.

  “Yeah, a lot on my mind I guess.”

  After a pause that felt like ages I heard him take a deep breath, “Like I said before, if you need to talk I can listen.” Looking over at him I study his side profile as I try to come up with what to say in response. It wasn't like I could tell him I had a crush on him, no not even that simple, I was head over heels in love with him.