Beatrice Zinker, Upside Down Thinker

by Shelley Johannes

  For Stephen Barr—

  in glittering gold

  Copyright © 2017 by Shelley Johannes

  Designed by Phil Caminiti and Shelley Johannes

  Illustrations created with felt-tip pen, brush marker, and colored pencil on tracing paper

  All rights reserved. Published by Hyperion, an imprint of Disney Book Group. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher. For information address New York, New York 10023.

  ISBN 978-1-4847-7412-0

  Visit www.DisneyBooks.com

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Beatrice Zinker always did her best thinking upside down. It worked like magic, and she never questioned it.

  It worked like poof.

  It worked like presto.

  It worked like shazam—

  on every problem,

  every pickle, and

  each and every jam.

  But not everything in her life was a piece of cake.

  The Zinkers were a right-side-up family.

  Being the upside down daughter wasn’t easy.

  Her siblings didn’t make things any easier. Beatrice was the middle child. Her older sister, Kate, was a cookie-cutter version of their mother, Nancy. Her baby brother, Henry, was a cookie-cutter version of their father, Pete. Even the cat seemed cut out to be a Zinker.

  Beatrice, however, had been different from the very beginning.

  The Zinkers liked boxes and boundaries.

  But not Beatrice.

  She climbed out of her first box as soon as she was able.

  Kate’s first word was MOM.

  When Beatrice finally spoke, her first word was WOW.

  “Wow, indeed,” said her father.

  “Uh-oh,” said Kate.

  “Oh no,” said her mother, “what now?”

  As Beatrice grew, Kate said a lot of UH-OH. Nancy Zinker said a lot of OH NO and a lot of WHAT NOW?

  When Beatrice was five years old, she headed off to William Charles Elementary. It was an upstanding institution with a stand-up reputation.

  “Keep your chin up, buttercup,” encouraged her father.

  “Take it easy on Mrs. Beasley,” her mother teased.

  Beatrice tried her best.

  She filled up on facts and figures five days a week. She sat at circle time. She relied on the rules and relaxed into the routine.

  But kindergarten couldn’t counteract the pull of gravity. Despite a daily dose of ABCs and 123s, her mind still gravitated toward MAYBES, WHAT-IFS, and COULD-BES.

  “Maybe she’ll outgrow it,” said the parents at pickup time.

  “Maybe…” said Nancy Zinker.

  MAYBE was actually one of Beatrice’s favorite words.

  Occasionally one of her MAYBEs was a hit.

  And others saw things her way.

  It didn’t happen often.

  Nothing happened fast.

  But in first grade—

  on Halloween night, to be exact—

  Beatrice found a friend named Lenny.

  In matching costumes, they found plenty of candy and lots of common ground.

  After that they spent recess in the trees, sailing high seas, and fending off zombies.

  Sometimes they were ninjas. Some days they were knights. Each day their high kicks and hijinks reached brave new heights.

  In the eyes of Lenny Santos, Beatrice was not a problem to be solved—she was the perfect partner in crime.

  By second grade, even her teacher came around.

  At the graduation ceremony that spring, the whole class filed into the gym. Mrs. Walker crossed the stage and faced the crowd. Holding a piece of paper and a microphone, she asked Beatrice to join her.

  “This year, Beatrice reminded me that there are infinite upsides to being yourself. Infinite upsides, and infinite upside down sides, too.” Beatrice squinted under the lights as Mrs. Walker made it official. “This special award goes to Beatrice Zinker—our very own, very best Upside Down Thinker.”

  “Wow,” said Beatrice.

  “Wow, indeed,” said her father from the second row.

  Her mother stood up to snap a picture and spotted a problem.

  The award was upside down.

  “Flip it around,” she told Beatrice.

  Beatrice turned the paper right side up and struck a picture-perfect pose.

  “TA-DA!” she said.

  Once she had it in writing, there was no turning back.

  Every idea starts as a tiny seed—even the biggest idea of the very best upside down thinker. Three months later, Beatrice launched the most important plan of her upside down life, but the seed of the idea was planted that very afternoon in June, on graduation day.

  The award was still crisp in her hands.

  The ink was still damp.

  Her cheeks still hurt from smiling.

  Beatrice had never felt better.

  After the ceremony, everyone poured onto the playground for a picnic. Lenny found Beatrice hanging out in her favorite spot. “You’ve got that look on your face again,” Lenny said. “The one that always gets you into trouble.”

  “I know,” said Beatrice, “but today it got me this.”

  Lenny held up two dripping waffle cones. “I brought ice cream,” she said. “To celebrate.” She lifted up one of the cones like a microphone. “Beatrice Zinker, can you tell the audience what it feels like to be an award winner?”

  Beatrice accepted the mic. “It feels really good,” she said. “Like I’m finally free to be me.”

  “Look out, world!” Lenny shouted into her ice cream. “Beatrice is on the loose!”

  “Shhh!” said Beatrice. “People might get suspicious.” She lowered her voice and looked around. “The best plan I’ve ever had just popped into my head, but in order for it to work, it has to stay a secret.”

  “Hurry up and tell me!” said Lenny. “I love secrets.”

  Lenny covered her microphone, and Beatrice laid out her latest plan.

  “Whoa,” said Lenny. Her eyes twinkled behind her glasses. “Next year just got interesting.” She leaned against the tree and took a bite of her ice cream. “Do we get to have a secret base?”

  “Yep—and we’ll need to do a lot of reconnaissance.”

  “What’s reconnaissance?”

  “Spying,” Beatrice said. “People aren’t always who they appear to be…especially when they know someone’s watching.”

  Lenny nodded her head and leaned in. “I’ve always wanted a good reason to be a spy.”

  “Me too.” Beatrice licked her ice cream casually, like they were discussing their upcoming summer vacations and not masterminding a mission. “Do you still have your ninja suit?”

  “Of course,” said Lenny. “I’m never getting rid of that thing. You can get away with a lot in a ninja suit.”

  �
��That’s what I’m counting on,” said Beatrice. “So you’re in?”

  “Of course! If I wasn’t so excited to see my cousins, I’d skip my trip and get right to third grade.”

  Beatrice faltered. “I forgot about your trip.”

  Lenny’s family was spending the summer in the Philippines. Two drops of ice cream dripped from Beatrice’s cone into the grass, just missing Lenny’s shoelaces.

  Drip. Drop.

  It was hard to imagine those same feet would be standing on the other side of the world in a few days.

  “When do you get back?”

  Lenny shrugged. “Sometime before school starts?”

  “Well,” said Beatrice, “at least we have something to look forward to. On our first day back, we’ll dress in black and the fun begins.”

  “Deal,” said Lenny, tapping Beatrice’s half-eaten cone with her own. “Here’s to really good secrets—and all the upsides of you being you.”

  While Lenny was away, Beatrice spent her summer practicing ninja moves and brainstorming names for their secret operation. When the first day of school finally arrived, Beatrice woke up smiling.

  She lifted the blinds and confirmed what she already knew to be true. It was going to be a good day. The sun was shining. Birds were chirping. Best of all, Mrs. Jenkins was walking her cat. Good things always happened when Mrs. Jenkins walked Scrappy.

  Operation Upside was destined for success.

  Beatrice rolled over in her bunk and got to work. She tugged her black turtleneck over her head. She pulled on her black pants. Once she was in uniform, she flipped over the rail and scaled down the side of her bed.

  Her sister, Kate, stood in a sunny square in the middle of the room, smoothing the wrinkles in her cardigan.

  She glanced up at Beatrice. “There is no way Mom is going to let you go to school in that.”

  “Why not?” said Beatrice. “It’s my favorite outfit.” She had high hopes for the day.

  All of them involved her ninja suit.

  “You look like a criminal.”

  “No, I don’t,” Beatrice replied. “I look like me.”

  She had lived in her ninja suit all summer. She only wore something else on laundry days, or when her mother made her.

  “Excusez-moi,” said Kate, who was on a foreign-language kick, “I’m just trying to help.”

  “Maybe she won’t even notice,” said Beatrice.

  Kate raised an eyebrow. When it came to Beatrice, Nancy Zinker noticed everything.

  “Just don’t say anything,” Beatrice suggested. “And if you really can’t help yourself, say it in French, so she has no idea what you’re saying.”

  “All I’m saying is, I would have a backup plan if I were you.”

  Kate pointed at the dress their mother left out for Beatrice. “Like that.”

  Beatrice wrinkled her nose. Nothing said I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION OF THINKING UPSIDE DOWN TODAY like a pink, flowery dress.

  And today—the day she would finally see Lenny again—Beatrice was full of upside down intention.

  Kate had a point, though. She did need a plan.

  Just not the kind of plan that involved a dress, or anything pink, or anything floral.

  Beatrice yanked open her closet door and turned to Kate. “Tell Mom that I’ll be down in a minute.”

  There were few things Nancy Zinker hated more than her daughter’s ninja suit. Beatrice’s plan revolved around all three of them.

  A black mask concealed her face.

  A striped hat covered her head.

  Long black gloves stretched over her elbows.

  Beatrice took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

  Morning activity stopped.

  “Uh-oh,” said Kate.

  “Oh no,” said Nancy Zinker, spinning away from the counter with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a knife in the other. “What now?”

  Pete Zinker folded down a corner of his newspaper. Henry peeked over the top of his yogurt cup. Oliver, the family cat, hid behind the high chair.

  “Wow,” Beatrice said. “It smells really good in here.”

  “It’s the bacon,” said her father, holding up the evidence. Bacon was his breakfast specialty.

  Nancy Zinker ignored the bacon.

  “You are not wearing that to school, Beatrice,” she said.

  “I told you,” mouthed Kate.

  “You look like a criminal,” said her mother.

  “That’s what I said,” whispered Kate.

  Nancy Zinker set the jar on the counter and balanced the knife on its rim. She held out her hand. “Hand over the mask,” she said.

  Beatrice reached behind her head and loosened the ties. She surrendered the black fabric to her mother. Nancy Zinker wiggled her fingers.

  “The gloves, too.”

  Beatrice tugged off the gloves.

  “And the hat.”

  “My thinking cap?”

  “We do not have time to argue about this, Beatrice.”

  Beatrice pulled off the hat and handed it over.

  Mother and daughter stood toe-to-toe. The mask was missing. The hat was off. The gloves were gone.

  But Beatrice was still wearing the ninja suit.

  Nancy Zinker reached out and smoothed Beatrice’s flyaway hairs. “Much better,” she said.

  Beatrice held her breath and waited. “Now hurry up and eat your breakfast. You need your protein. The bus will be here any second.”

  Nancy Zinker went back to the counter, scrambling to finish their lunches. Pete Zinker winked and went back to his reading. Henry returned to his yogurt.

  Kate, for once, was speechless.

  Beatrice took her place at the table and tried not to smile. Everything had gone exactly as planned.

  Kate flipped a flash card at her.

  Her father slipped her an extra piece of bacon.

  With her heart thudding in her chest, Beatrice kept a straight face. It was too soon to celebrate. She wasn’t out of the woods until she was out of the house.

  The ninja suit still had to survive breakfast.

  Breakfast went like most meals in the Zinker household. Henry was the star of the show.

  Beatrice crunched her bacon and waited for it to begin.

  It didn’t take long.

  Henry drained the last of his yogurt and thunked the empty container on his tray.

  Every head turned toward the high chair.

  Pete Zinker folded his paper in his lap. “Did you hear that, honey?” he asked.

  Nancy Zinker clapped her hands. “He said, ‘More, please!’”

  Kate threw her flash cards on the table. “In Swahili!”

  Pete grabbed Henry another yogurt while Nancy dashed for the camera.

  Pete Zinker ruffled Henry’s fuzzy head. “Atta boy, buddy,” he said. Kate scooted her chair over to her brother and flipped through her flash cards.

  Kate dabbled in a dozen languages. Henry was a baby genius.

  Beatrice spoke Pig Latin. (Her talent was generally underappreciated.)

  “An-cay ou-yay ass-pay e-thay yrup-say ease-play?” she asked.

  “Pardon?” said Kate.

  “What?” her parents asked in unison.

  “Ga?” said Henry, possibly in Gaelic.

  Kate pointed at Henry. “Did you hear that?”

  Nancy Zinker snapped another picture. “I sure did!”

  No one passed the syrup.

  Beatrice shrugged and stretched across the table. “Evermind-nay,” she said and grabbed it herself.

  “Mind your manners, Beatrice,” said her mother. “It’s not polite to reach.” She stood behind Henry to get a better view and refocused her camera. “Pete, did you see his tray? It’s my favorite yet.”

  Moments later, the familiar squeal of hydraulic brakes interrupted the show.

  “Bus!” Nancy Zinker called out.

  Beatrice shoveled in a final bite of breakfast, then hopped to her feet. Her ninja suit wa
s one step closer to safety.

  Kate ran out the door shouting “Au revoir!” while Beatrice hurried to keep up. The bus waited at the corner with its red lights flashing.

  Beatrice was halfway down the concrete steps, about to jump to the sidewalk, when Pete Zinker stepped onto the porch, his newspaper rolled into a megaphone.

  “Hey, B?” he called to her.

  Beatrice turned around. The bus doors were already opening for Kate.

  She was so close.

  “Keep your chin up, buttercup,” he said with a smile. He said the same thing every day. By now Beatrice knew what he really meant. It was simultaneous dad code for “I love you!” and “Please, for the love of Pete—stay right side up today.”

  Beatrice flashed her dad a thumbs-up before jogging toward the waiting bus. She hoped he wouldn’t misinterpret the gesture as any sort of agreement.

  Today was not a day for right-side-up promises.

  She’d waited all summer for this moment.

  Operation Upside was a go, and she and Lenny Santos had big plans.

  Classroom 3B swarmed with familiar faces and new backpacks. But there was only one person Beatrice wanted to find. Standing in the middle of the room, Beatrice spun in a full circle, checking every face. She didn’t see Lenny anywhere.

  “You must be Beatrice,” said a voice behind her.

  Beatrice turned to find Mrs. Tamarack, her new teacher. Evelyn Tamarack was a legend at William Charles Elementary. She put the upstanding in the school’s stand-up reputation.

  Beatrice held out her hand and introduced herself. “Beatrice Zinker,” she said. “Upside down thinker.”

  “I am well aware, Miss Zinker,” Mrs. Tamarack informed her.

  Beatrice tried to concentrate on her new teacher, but Lenny was missing. Her eyes drifted to the door.