Trust A Broken Heart

by Ivy Symone

  Nola waved off Danette’s suggestion. “I’m tired of talking to Bebe. It is what it is.”

  Marshawn said in between bites of food, “Man, don’t do Bebe like that. That’s my big brother. He’s a cool dude, and despite y’all differences, that nigga loves you.”

  Nola gave her brother a surprised look. “Why have you always been team Bebe? Is that nigga paying you?”

  Marshawn laughed. “Naw. But for real though, Bebe love you. He’s a good dude.”

  “He is,” Nola agreed.

  Marshawn added sincerely, “But you need to disclose the past to him. He should know. It might make a difference.”

  Nola stared at her brother blankly.

  “Don’t do that, Nola. Out of respect for you, I ain’t never said nothing about it. But it’s time you—”

  “Marshawn, can you be on my side for once?” Nola spat.

  “I am. I have been. But this…Nola, you’re not facing what—”

  Danette intervened. “Marshawn let it go. This isn’t the right time or the place. We don’t want her running out like Dorian.”

  “Naw, I’m good,” Nola assured. She started digging into her food.

  The table was silent for the next few minutes. They either fell into deep thought or tried to occupy the silence with checking their phones. When Nola checked hers, she saw that she had a message from Dorian and one from Bebe.

  Dorian: I’m stepping back. I won’t bother you anymore. But I hope that nigga is worth you losing me

  Nola scoffed at his text. This nigga! Same Dorian from years ago, and that was something he never understood. He wanted her to believe he was a changed man and had grown up from the person he used to be, but his current behavior spoke differently. And that was why she never fell in love with him then and couldn’t see herself in love with him now.

  Bebe: We need to talk

  There was no telling what he wanted to talk about, but she saw it as an opportunity to go ahead and let him know about her plans to move to Columbia. There was no sense in avoiding it, so why not get it over with?

  Chapter 10

  I t was the third time this unfamiliar number had called his cellphone. He had to know the person if they were this persistent. However, he was wondering why they didn’t bother to text or leave a message.

  Bebe decided to answer with caution. “Hello?”

  “Bebe, please don’t hang up.”

  Just because they said that, he was considering doing so; but he had no idea who he would be hanging up on.

  “Who is this?” he asked.

  “It’s Sharonda.”

  He was hanging up, and he did.

  “Who was that?” Stefani asked.

  “Mind your business,” he told her. He was sitting at his kitchen table while Stefani was helping herself to something to eat.

  After observing her for a second, Bebe asked, “When are you leaving?”

  “They said the apartment will be move-in ready by the last week of this month,” she answered as she continued to move about. “You don’t like me being here or something?”

  “Not really,” he answered with a straight face.

  She gave him her usual side-eye expression. “Bebe really?”

  “Stefani, when have I ever tolerated you for that long?”

  “I recall a certain somebody up my ass almost every day around the time we made BJ. Do you remember that?”

  “Do you know how long ago that was?” he argued. “And that was before I got to really know you.”

  Now she stopped with her mouth dropped opened. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Instead of answering that, Bebe explained, “Stefani, people are always saying I come to your rescue too much, and that’s why you constantly fuck up; you know I’ll clean the shit up. But once you leave this time, you’re gonna have to do better. I’m not gonna be able to help out as much.”

  “But I have your son,” she said incredulously. Her brow furrowed in anger. “And fuck what people say. As long as we have that understanding, then that’s all that matters.”

  “But we don’t. And having BJ has nothing to do with your lack of responsibility. What are you trying to say? That as long as you have BJ, I’m obligated to care for you too?”

  She didn’t say anything.

  Bebe shook his head. “See man, this gotta stop.”

  Sharonda started calling back just as Nola walked through the back door followed by Marshawn. Shadow zipped through the kitchen to greet his favorite person.

  “Shadow, you ain’t worth shit,” Bebe remarked.

  Nola and Stefani sized each other up. Bebe laughed to himself. He never paid attention to how territorial Nola was when it came to him and the kids before. She could be like a Pitbull sometimes.

  Marshawn took a seat at the table with Bebe. Nola continued to stand against the counter while Shadow got snout-fulls of her scent.

  “What we need to talk about, Bebe?” Nola asked.

  “Damn, Nola, I meant privately,” Bebe chuckled. His phone started going off again. He terminated the call.

  Being nosey, Nola asked, “Who was that? Some gal you can’t talk to in front of us?”

  “Naw,” he told her. “It’s actually Kennedi’s mama.”

  Everybody sort of halted and just stared at him.

  “What?” he asked innocently.

  Stefani asked, “Where she come from?”

  Nola side-eyed her, “That’s the same shit I asked about you.”

  Marshawn tried to stifle a laugh.

  Stefani rolled her eyes at Nola and proceeded to warm her food in the microwave.

  Nola asked, “When did you start communicating with her? Does Kennedi know?”

  “She came by my mama’s house earlier today while Kennedi was there,” he said. “Kennedi didn’t know who she was at first, but she does now.”

  “So why are you not accepting her call?” Nola asked curiously.

  “I don’t wanna talk to her period. There ain’t nothing to talk about. I told her to keep it moving.”

  Nola gave him a chiding look. “Bebe. That’s still Kennedi’s mama.”

  “So! She don’t get to decide that she don’t want to be a mama and then just show up years later and expect everything to be honky dory for her ass,” he countered.

  “That’s right,” Stefani egged.

  Nola side-eyed her again. “You need to be quiet cause you barely hanging on your damn self.”

  “Oh, and you so perfect,” Stefani retorted.

  “I’m better than you, and I proudly own that. The only reason you’ve been seeing BJ as much as you have lately is because you’re here,” Nola affirmed.

  “Whatever,” Stefani rolled her eyes. “Well, me and BJ won’t be here much longer.”

  “Girl please,” Nola scoffed. “I give you a month before you start dropping BJ off every day, and two months before you say fuck it and he’s just here all the time.”

  Stefani looked to Bebe. “Do you know how to control your pet?”

  Before Bebe could respond, Nola snapped. “Bitch, who you calling a pet! Your trifling ass the one that needs to be cared for, you stank pussy hoe! You ain’t never—”

  “Nola!” Both Marshawn and Bebe called out. Bebe said in a calming tone, “The kids. They just down the hall.”

  “My bad,” she said with a glower. “She be pissing me off.”

  Stefani let off a haughty menacing laugh to aggravate Nola.

  Bebe ran a hand over his face to show his frustration. This was something he couldn’t continue to endure. It was so rare nowadays for him to have a quiet peaceful house, which was why he appreciated Nola when she did regulate and put people out of his house and made the kids stay over at her place.

  “Anyway,” Nola spoke calmer. “Have you tried hearing her out? And what about people being able to redeem themselves. Do you know her current situation? Is she bettering herself? What does she want exactly?”

  “I don’t want to
talk to her. Period,” Bebe stated definitely.

  “You want me to talk to her?” Nola offered.

  Marshawn answered, “No! You’ll scare her away.”

  “Well if she scares that easily, then Kennedi ain’t that much of a concern. Right?” Nola pointed out. “Cause ain’t nobody gon’ scare me about mine. I’ll fight to the death.”

  Bebe caught Stefani rolling her eyes behind Nola’s back. Apparently, Nola observed Bebe’s direction of sight, and asked, “Is that bitch doing something behind my back? Is she rolling her eyes or some shit?”

  Bebe chuckled. “Nola, chill. C’mon, me and you need to go talk anyway.”

  Nola shot Stefani a threatening glare before she followed Bebe out of the kitchen. He actually led her to his bedroom where he shut the door behind her. He didn’t even let Shadow in.

  “You afraid Shadow gon tell our business?” she joked as she took a seat at the foot of his bed.

  “Shadow need to stay outta your ass,” he said causing her to laugh. Bebe took a seat next to her. “How you feel?”

  “I feel fine. But I’m finna bust your baby mama upside her head.”

  He laughed. “Leave her alone. I’m just glad her apartment will be ready the end of this month.”

  “She taking BJ?”

  “I doubt it. She might just to try to prove you wrong though.”

  “You think she’d try to put you on child support out of spite.”

  Now it was time for Bebe to give her an incredulous look. “I wish she would.”

  Nola snickered. “I know right. I’d be the main one in court talking bout ‘your honor, this hoe trifling, and I have her son more than she do’. You think I’ll get put out?”

  Bebe laughed. “Yeah, they’ll hurry up and put your ass out.”

  “So, what about Kennedi’s mama? What’s her name again?”

  “Sharonda.”

  “Sharonda,” she repeated quietly.

  With thought, Bebe said, “I don’t know. If she don’t plan to do right, why even bother?”

  “Is she another Stefani?”

  “She worse than Stefani if you ask me. She said she didn’t want Kennedi.”

  Nola released a sigh. “I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe agree to meet with her; just you and her and feel her out.”

  “Will you do it with me?” he asked earnestly.

  Shocked, Nola asked, “Why you want me there?”

  “Because you’re able to read people pretty good. And you’re worse than I am when it comes to interrogating. Besides, you’ve been a constant presence in Kennedi’s life for the past four years and have helped me in just about every decision concerning her in the past three years.”

  Nola couldn’t hide the blushing of her face. “Oh, I feel so honored.”

  “Stop silly ass.”

  “What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked.

  Bebe’s smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of nervousness.

  “Uh oh,” she mumbled. “Why do I have a feeling this ain’t gon’ be good.”

  “Naw, it ain’t like that,” he assured her. “How far along are you? Do you know?”

  “I’m about thirteen weeks,” she answered casually.

  “Thirteen weeks?” he was in disbelief. “Where’s your stomach?”

  “It’s there.” She patted her clothes down so that he could see her belly beginning to round out. “You didn’t notice it when I was on top of you?”

  Bebe blushed with embarrassment. “Why you gotta say it like that?”

  She half-shrugged.

  “How do you feel physically?”

  “I don’t even feel pregnant with this one,” she stated. “I hope that means it’s a girl. I want a girl.”

  “Do you?”

  She nodded. “I mean, I get everything I want in a girl from Kennedi, but I don’t know…I think if we added another lil girl to the mix.”

  “To our mix?”

  “Yeah. Regardless of where you and I stand in our relationship or friendship or whatever, at the end of the day, them kids is just what it is…They’re ours.”

  Bebe nodded his understanding. “You’re absolutely right. We’re an odd arrangement, huh?”

  “But we’re doing better than most traditional two parent homes.”

  “Nola,” he started carefully. “What do you want from me?”

  “Why are you asking me that?”

  “I just need to know.”

  “I just want you and the kids to be happy. And if I can make sure—”

  “No,” he interrupted. “I’m talking about you. What do you want? Don’t you wanna be happy?”

  “I am as long as y’all are.”

  “Nola.”

  Nola knew what he was trying to get at, but she didn’t want to fall victim and show her vulnerability only to be disappointed.

  “Do you love me?” he asked.

  “Of course, I do. You know I do.”

  “But aren’t you tired of me?”

  Now she was confused. Which way was he going exactly?

  “You can get on my nerves at times.”

  “If I wanted us to try this whole relationship thing, would you?”

  She chuckled. “Nope. You’re only thinking about it because I said I was pregnant. And you know I ain’t never used the first two pregnancies as a way to make you be with me, and I’m not about to use this one.”

  “But we’re having babies, you’re a mother to all four of my kids, you cook for me, you clean for me, you run all my errands when I need you to, you even help do my books with the businesses…You’re like an extended wife.”

  “An extended wife?”

  “I say extended because we’re still in separate households. But maybe we should consider having only one.”

  “What are you saying Bebe?”

  “Let’s do this; me and you.”

  For the convenience and benefits of it, Nola didn’t mind continuing things as they were. There was no need to change anything.

  “No. What they say…If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Let’s just do things how we’ve been doing them.”

  “You don’t want my last name, Nola?”

  “Your last name?” Nola asked. She burst into exaggerated laughter. “Are you serious? Boy stop. Anyway, enough of that. There’s something I need to talk to you about myself.”

  “Nola, I’m serious. You’ve spent all this time doing all of these things for me and wanting me to give you more, and here I am trying to do just that, and you laugh in my face?”

  “Are you offended?”

  Bebe waved her off in dismissive anger. “Get out of my room.”

  Nola continued to snicker. “No, listen to me real quick. You know my mama had her surgery and she’s still trying to recover and get around. And I’ve been feeling a little off lately. I think I need to take a break and move back to Columbia.”

  “What!” Bebe was more than flabbergasted by her comment.

  “Bebe, it’s just an hour away. Me and the boys won’t be far. I can still get the kids every other weekend to give you a break. I can rent out the house.”

  “No!”

  “How you gon’ tell me no,” she giggled.

  “Nola, this shit ain’t funny. Why you fucking with my emotions right now?”

  “Bebe, it’s not that serious. Nor is it a permanent arrangement. I just need to get away for a while.”

  “Nola, you can’t. What about Kennedi? You are like her mother. She sees you and interact with you every day.”

  “Well maybe it’s a good thing that Sharonda showed up.”

  “Shut up Nola.”

  “Stop pouting. You’re acting like Dorian now.”

  A flash of anger crossed his face. “Don’t compare me to him. And what do you mean? You let him know you were considering leaving too?”

  “I did.”

  Bebe fell into thought. He started mumbling under his breath. “Why did I listen to everybody.”r />
  “See!” she exclaimed. “This wasn’t even your idea. You’re just doing what people think you should do, Bebe. And I don’t want that.”

  “Just leave it alone, Nola,” he insisted. Then he asked, “Who are Ayanna and Makayla?”

  Her whole body stiffened. The playfulness completely disappeared. “How do you know about them?”

  “I saw a picture of them in a scrapbook at your house,” he told her. “I ain’t never heard you talk about them. Are they your nieces, cousins? They look like you and the boys.”

  Instead of answering, Nola bolted to her feet and snapped. “Why the fuck are you going through my things? You have no right to touch my shit! Stay out of my shit!”

  Shocked by her reaction, Bebe cowered under her rage. “Nola, I didn’t mean to, but who are they? Nola?”

  She was storming out of his bedroom and moving toward the kitchen.

  Marshawn looked up worried, “What’s going on?”

  Bebe was right behind her. He asked Marshawn, “Who are Ayanna and Makayla?”

  Nola stopped right before exiting the backdoor. “Don’t you tell him shit, Marshawn. And I mean it. He had no business snooping through my shit in my house.”

  “Nola, just tell him who they are,” Marshawn pleaded.

  “Fuck you Marshawn. You always go against me,” Nola spat.

  “Nola, just talk about them. Please,” Marshawn begged once more.

  Kennedi made her presence known. “What’s wrong?”

  “Go back to your room,” Bebe told her.

  Marshawn got up and walked slowly over to Nola. “Talk about them. It’s been five years. You got to talk about them, or you’ll never heal.”

  “I am healed!” she cried. Angry tears began to stream down her face.

  “No, you’re not. You’ve kept all of that pain and hurt bottled up in you for years. Release that shit, sis. You won’t even let us talk about them.”

  “It’s not bottled up. I release it in my own privacy. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me what to do.”

  “Then why are you crying right now?” Marshawn asked. “You’re still hurting.”

  Nola’s shoulders began to shake as she sobbed. “They were my babies. They still are and I’ll always hurt over them. Ayanna and Makayla were my girls…and they took them away from me and I said I forgave them for it, but I still hate them.”