Mine First

by A. J. Marchant

  ‘Addy, get out of here.’ Lori yelled. All around her the air was getting hotter, the smoke growing thicker. When she didn’t move, Addy pointed at the front door. Lori ignored her, taking cautious step after step until she’d reached the bottom of the stairs.

  The top floor roared with flames, tendrils creeping down the stairs. A mass of black smoke swirled like a wave through the doorways and across the ceiling, escaping through cracks and holes where the roof had already burned and fallen through.

  A piece of debris fell, forcing Lori back. There was more smoke than air, so she pulled her shirt up to cover her mouth and nose, coughing against the rough fabric. Another piece of debris fell, and another, and then a part of the ceiling fell in.

  The fallen floorboards brought with them flames that grew, spreading and blocking Lori’s path to the back of the house. The smoke stung her eyes but through the shimmering heat she saw Addy on the other side of the flames, standing there.

  With no other choice, Lori turned to the front door. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw Addy step into the laundry and hoped she’d made it out the back door. Lori moved in slow motion it seemed. She could faintly see the outline of the front door. It wasn’t far.

  But she couldn’t breathe. The flames, the heat, the smoke, it was too much. She sank down onto her hands and knees, but the smoke was even lower, so she lay down and army-crawled her way for the door.

  It was dark and disorientating. The floorboards were hard and hot. Debris fell around her but she kept moving, using feel more than sight. Her elbow bumped against the skirting board and she used the wall as a guide. Her lungs burned, her body getting too heavy to haul.

  There were sirens in the distance, and Lori fought to keep her head up, to keep pulling herself along. Try as she might, the weight was too much. She rested her head on her arm, telling herself it would only be for a moment and then she would move again. Silent flames blinked in and out of sight, sparks flying like fireworks as the ceiling collapsed around her and she lost consciousness.

  63

  LORI CAME TO in the back of a parked ambulance, an oxygen mask pressed to her face and a blurred man leaning over, shining a light in her eyes. Pushing him away, she struggled to sit, heavy hands dragging the oxygen mask off.

  Through the open rear doors, red and blue lights flashed in the dark and a swarm of firefighters worked furiously to control the blaze that had all but engulfed her home.

  Smoke tumbled from collapsed holes in the roof and an orange blaze filled every window. The fire was gutting her house, her home, from the inside out. Lori rolled off the gurney, ignoring the medic who tried to guide her back down. She made it as far as the tailgate, and the medic was right behind, putting the oxygen mask back on her. ‘Miss? I need you to lay back down.’

  ‘I’m fine, really.’ But as she tried to wave him off, she noticed the pink and raw patch of burned skin that covered the length of her forearm. It didn’t hurt, not yet. But it would. Other than that, she was unscathed.

  It didn’t feel real, that her house was on fire. But it was. Or that Addy had been in there, that she’d started it. But she had.

  It wasn’t the smoke Lori had inhaled that was now making it even harder to breathe. It was shock, and it was panic. Magnified by the surrounding chaos; the neighbours crowding in the gaps between the trucks, held back by a flimsy ribbon of police tape; the dizzying lights and flicker of flames; the shouts, the sirens, the roar, and the ringing in her ears trying to block it all out.

  A familiar voice broke through, calling out Lori’s name. A deeper voice shouted, ‘Stop, only people with clearance allowed.’

  But then there she was, running out from the side of the ambulance, stopping in her tracks when she saw the house.

  Lori pulled the mask away from her mouth a little. ‘Em—’ It was a croak so, clearing her throat, she tried again, ‘Emmie.’

  Em spun, searching. Her body bent forward in relief when her eyes settled on Lori in the back of the ambulance. ‘Shit, Lori, I thought—I saw the smoke. Heard the sirens. Are you okay? What happened?’

  Not giving Lori a chance to answer, Em pulled her up into a hug that made it harder to breathe and squashed the oxygen mask into her cheeks. Lori gasped and Em let go, grabbing her wrist to look at the burn. ‘Does it hurt?’

  Lori shook her head and sat down, pulling the mask off again. ‘Can I stay with you for a bit?’ She couldn’t help the smile on her face.

  Em tried to hide her own. ‘Thought you didn’t need my help.’

  Lori rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t be a smartass.’

  The medic wasn’t happy, but he climbed back inside the ambulance so Em could have his seat. They watched as another part of the roof collapsed, shooting up sparks that sent the firefighters into a scramble to stop the flames from spreading to the neighbouring homes.

  ‘Em?’

  ‘Mm?’

  ‘My house is on fire.’

  It should have been too much of an obvious statement to say out loud, but it felt so calming, strangely innocent. They stared at each other, light and colour flashing over their faces. Em laughed first, and soon, despite her throat feeling like bark, Lori half laughed, half coughed along with her.

  The medic climbed off the end of the gurney and sat on Lori’s other side, looking at them both as if they were crazy as he held Lori’s wrist, fingertips feeling for her pulse. Lori let him put the oxygen mask back on her and then sat still, balancing a water-soaked wad of gauze on her arm while he checked her vitals, her face pinching at the late arrival of pain as he dressed her burn.

  She refused a trip to the hospital and nodded at his instructions, promising to get checked out by a doctor as soon as possible. Remembering her manners, she yelled a thank you at his back as he walked away to join the other medic who was keeping a close eye on the firefighters.

  64

  ‘I KNOW I said Addy was nuts but…’ Flames flickered, reflecting in the corner of Em’s eye. ‘I can’t believe she burned your house down. With you still inside.’

  ‘I know, right? First water, now fire.’

  Em raised an eyebrow, confused. ‘What are you talking about, water and fire?’

  Lori had forgotten she hadn’t told Em about the pool. She chose the easier of the two. ‘Addy was in there. Waiting for me to wake up, to realise the house was on fire. I think she was making sure I got out before she left.’

  ‘She was still in there?’ Emmie, though shocked, was not fooled into forgetting the rest. ‘No, wait. That’s not—I get the fire part. What did you mean, water?’

  Lori didn’t know what to say. It felt stupid to think she’d been too scared to tell Em, or anyone, when it had happened. And it felt like so long ago, too late to do what she should have done. Maybe then she’d still have a home, still have her job, the clinic, Marina.

  ‘You know, I was wondering what else I had to lose… guess this answers the question.’

  ‘Don’t change the subject.’ Em pleaded, ‘Tell me what you meant by water.’

  The sirens had stopped some time ago, but now another came screaming up the street.

  The crowd cleared as a car nosed between two fire trucks and parked in the middle of the street with a screech of tyres.

  ‘Coop. I called him.’ Em remembered as the detective hauled himself out of the car and barrelled towards them.

  He pulled up, ruffled and out of breath. ‘Everyone okay?’

  Lori nodded.

  ‘Was it Addison?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I saw her.’

  ‘Okay, wait here.’ Cooper ran off. Lori had no plan to go anywhere, but she stayed put, her eyes following the detective as he made his way from person to person, finally finding the one he wanted.

  It was a firefighter, the guy in charge most likely. They talked for a while and then waved over a cop in uniform standing on the tape controlling the crowd. The uniform pointed out another police offi
cer, and Cooper was on the move again. He talked to the guy for a bit and then jogged back to the ambulance, calling over to the medics as he passed by. ‘Has she been cleared?’

  The medic gave him a thumbs-up without looking, hypnotised by the scene in front of him.

  Cooper slowed to a walk as he neared them. ‘I’d like to take you to the station to make a statement, if that’s okay with you? With everything else and now this, we should have enough to bring her in.’

  ‘Yeah, sure. Okay.’

  Em took hold of Lori’s hand. ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

  Lori looked at what was left of her home. ‘I’ll be okay.’

  Cooper held out a hand to help Lori down, but Em motioned for him to wait. ‘Give us a minute?’

  ‘I’ll be at the car when you’re ready.’

  Em waited until Cooper was sitting on the hood of his car, his eyes glued to the fire like everyone else. Lori waited too, but Em said nothing, just climbed into the ambulance and riffled through cupboards, pulling out drawers. She came back with a fistful of bandages and a bottle of water.

  Em soaked the bandages with the water, wiping Lori’s face with careful, gentle strokes. ‘If there are things that Addy has done that you haven’t—I don’t care if you don’t tell me, but you have to tell Coop everything she’s done. Everything, Lori.’

  A knot in Lori’s throat prevented her from saying it, but Em had been right, back at the bar; she’d always been there, saving Lori’s ass, mostly from herself, whether she knew it, grateful or not.

  The bandages were black with ash when Em gave a final wipe along Lori’s jaw. Her skin felt tight, dried out, but clean.

  Lori blinked away a building tear, cleared her throat. ‘Thank you.’

  They made plans to meet up afterwards and Lori took one last look at her house, Em squeezing her hand, before getting in Cooper’s car.

  65

  SOBER AND DRAINED from reliving everything that had happened, Lori was grateful when Cooper left her in the break-room while he filed her statement and made some calls.

  It was a small room, a little too bright, but quiet. Lined up on the counter were a lost-and-found box, a petty cash tin, and a donation jar. Lori dug around in her pockets. All she had on her was her phone, a receipt from the bar, a few coins, and her house keys.

  Dumping the receipt, coins and keys out on the counter, she stared at each thing, realising she didn’t need any of them anymore. The coins went into the donation jar, and she tossed her keys and the receipt in the trash.

  Behind half open blinds, a glass wall looked out into the bullpen. Tired cops dragged themselves around desks, escorting people in and out; a busy night for everyone, it seemed.

  At the far end, windows looked out on the town. There was a purple glow to the tinted glass; it was almost morning.

  Exhausted, Lori sat down in one of the worn leather chairs lined up along the wall. The room tilted with her when she leaned her head back, resting the crook of her elbow on her forehead. The mixed smell of singed skin and the clean bandage was nauseating, but elevating her arm was the only way to stop the throbbing pain.

  Her eyes felt like they had shards of glass in them, her cheeks puffy, her throat raw. She couldn’t hold back the cough that had been building. All she could taste and smell was smoke, and it made her dizzy. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing until the spinning slowed and then stopped, at some point drifting into a dazed drowse.

  A hesitant knock startled her awake. Cooper stood in the doorway. Behind him the station was quiet, the windows bright with an early morning glare.

  ‘G’morning.’ Cooper poured a cup of coffee, gulped half of it down and then topped it up. ‘Bad news is your house is pretty much gutted. Fire was started on the top floor, went through pretty quickly. The floor fell through under the weight of the collapsing roof, set the bottom floor alight. Good news, a neighbour witnessed someone running through their yard just as the firefighters arrived. No way to ID them, but it backs up your statement, gives us cause to bring Miss Brooke in for questioning. Any ideas where she would go?’

  ‘Somewhere on campus, maybe? Or her family? She never said much about them, but she grew up here.’

  Out in the bullpen, a uniform walked by. Cooper called out and the guy stepped back and leaned through the door, nodding as he wrote out the details Cooper rattled off. ‘Locate and bring her in. Start at the dorms and go from there. Thanks, Todd.’

  Lori knew what was coming when Cooper sat down with a sigh in the chair next to her. He was silent for a while and she thought maybe he wouldn’t ask. But he did.

  ‘Why didn’t you report it? That she tried to drown you. Why not stop her? Before she escalated to—’

  ‘Burning my house down? Well… hindsight, right?’

  ‘You didn’t think she’d try it again? Do something worse?’

  Lori sat forward, her gaze wandering from her hands, to the ground, over to the noticeboard by the fridge. ‘I never thought she’d do any of it.’ Simple. So easy to say, it felt like the truth.

  Cooper wasn’t taken in by it. But he let it go, cleared his throat, clearing the subject along with it. ‘Can I give you a ride h—’ About to say home, he caught himself, turned it into an awkward laugh. ‘Do you have somewhere to stay?’

  ‘Yeah, I do. Em said to meet her in her office. The uni isn’t far, though, and I don’t wanna be a bother—’

  ‘Not a chance. I’ll drop you off. If Miss Brooke is on campus, I want to be there when they pick her up.’

  The last thing Lori wanted was to draw attention to herself by arriving in a cop car. But she was too tired to stand up, let alone find her own way there.

  66

  TWO COPS IN uniform climbed out of a patrol car up ahead as they pulled in. Coop went over to talk to them and Lori wandered to the gate, hesitating to set foot on campus. Students craned their necks, whispering to each other as they eyed the police standing in a huddle around an administrator who pointed them towards a cluster of dormitory buildings.

  Jeremy was sitting on a bench further along the footpath. He looked up as the hubbub grew, more students gathering to see what was going on. While everyone’s attention was busy on the police, Jeremy was the only one to notice Lori. He got up and walked towards her, but then he froze.

  Lori wondered what had stopped him in his tracks, but then the muffled static of a radio sounded behind her and two uniforms walked by. Coop paused by her side, hand on her shoulder. ‘Will you be right to find Em on your own?’

  Lori nodded, calling out her thanks as he jogged away.

  Students gawped. Jeremy stood there, eyes wide and hands gripping nervously. His shoulders visibly dropped after Coop and the two uniforms walked past him. His throat bobbed as he swallowed and he stared at Lori, who stared right back. Neither moved, and neither looked away. A group of students walked between them, breaking their eye contact, and after they cleared Jeremy was no longer in sight.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  Lori jumped as Jeremy appeared by her side. He looked her up and down, eyes catching on the bandage on her arm and the burn marks on her clothes. ‘Were you in a fire?’

  She ignored his questions, nodding in the direction the police had gone. ‘They’re looking for Addy. Do you know where she is?’ She regretted her next words, even as she said them. ‘Who am I kidding? Of course you do.’

  Jeremy looked stung, and Lori felt horrible. He was already turning away as she reached out for him. ‘I’m sor—’ But he was gone.

  Lori considered going after him, but the students walking by were trying to be sneaky, looking at her through side eyes and whispering behind their hands. So, instead, she headed for the pool and the safety of Em’s office.

  67

  A WAVE OF humid air pushed out as Lori opened the door. It felt good on her tight and dry skin but made her cough, her throat a little raw from smoke inhalation.

  Students and backpacks and books lay
scattered across the stands, escaping the cold or filling in time between classes. A few lanes were being used by the swim team, marked by their red caps bobbing in the water, their lazy strokes in no hurry.

  There was no Em walking the sides, though. Lori waved at the assistant coach, Teddy, who waved back with the clipboard in his hand. He shrugged a shoulder when Lori pointed towards the offices; he wasn’t sure where Em was.

  Lori crouched by the side of the pool. Mesmerised by the rhythmic ripples spilling up over the edge, rushing into the drain and gurgling away. She ran her fingertips across the surface, leaving greasy trails of soot.

  One day she would swim again, but for now this was as close as she wanted to get to the water. She glanced nervously behind her, paranoid someone was there. But there was no one. She stood, dried her fingers on her shirt. It left smears of ash and grime on her hands.

  Lori checked the staffroom and then Em’s office. She wasn’t there either. The clock on the wall wasn’t any help, but Lori scanned the big paper calendar below it, a whole year scheduled in scribbles and notes in shorthand. She couldn’t make sense of the words scrawled on the day’s little square. Em had said she’d be there, she couldn’t be far off. Lori sent her a message and then sat down to wait.

  The smell of singed fabric and smoke filled Lori’s nose, overpowering even the strong stinging scent of chlorine. A fine layer of black soot covered her clothes. Little scorch marks from flying sparks, larger holes where pieces of the collapsing ceiling had fallen on her after she’d passed out. The bandage on her arm stood out, bright white, the only part of her that was clean.