by Sandi Lynn
“I’m speechless. No one has ever given me something like this before. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. It’s a gift from me to you.”
“Thank you. I’ll wear it every day.”
“I have to get ready for school and you have to get ready for the office.” I smiled.
“I’m going to call Darren to come get me and take me home real quick. I left some papers there that I need.” He kissed me.
I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. The feeling of nausea returned the minute I put the toothbrush in my mouth. I quickly removed it and placed my hands on the counter, waiting for it to pass.
“Darren’s here and I’m heading out. I’ll be by to pick you up around five thirty,” he said through the door.
“Okay. Have a great day and I’ll see you later. Happy birthday, Max!”
“Thanks, babe. I’ll call you later.”
He couldn’t get out fast enough for me as I leaned over the toilet and started vomiting. Shit. What was going on? I didn’t have time for this. I got ready and headed out the door to school. When I arrived and sat down in my seat, Hannah came strolling in.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” I asked her.
“A little better. That flu really kicked my ass.”
“Tell me about it. I’m still not feeling well and I have that dinner tonight with Max and his family. It’s his birthday.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. It’s almost over. How are you feeling about that?”
“I’m okay,” I totally lied. “It’s hard to believe that the last three months went by so fast.”
“I know. We’re almost done with this semester.”
I sighed. “As soon as the semester ends, I have to find a job. My money is running out.”
“The bookstore on campus is hiring. I don’t know how much they pay, but it’s worth a shot.” She smiled.
“Maybe I’ll check it out. Thanks, Hannah.”
“Hey, I’m not feeling so well,” Austin said as he leaned in between us. “I think I need to leave.”
Hannah and I looked at him. He was as white as a ghost. “You better get home before you start puking all over us.”
“I’ll talk to you girls later.” He grabbed his things and literally ran out of the classroom.
We both laughed. “Poor Austin.”
Chapter 19
After dinner, we went back to Max’s parents’ house for cake and ice cream. Dinner was awkward because all Carol wanted to talk about was the wedding and all the things she thought I should do. I helped Carol put twenty-six candles on the large and beautifully decorated cake that she had made for Max. We lit each one and carried it into the dining room where Max, Fiona, and Bradshaw were waiting for us.
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Max. Happy birthday to you,” we sang as we walked in and set the cake down in front of him.
I leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Make a wish.”
He blew out the candles and we all clapped. Bradshaw stood up and left the room. A few moments later, he walked in and handed Max an envelope.
“Happy birthday, son. I’ve signed off on your trust fund and now it’s all yours. I have no doubt that you’ll be responsible with it.”
“Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Mom.”
“We are so happy for you and Emma, darling. Now let’s set a date so we can get working on this wedding.”
“Oh, Max and I have already set a date. We were waiting to tell you.” Max looked at me with surprise as I grabbed his hand. “We are getting married on September 10, 2016.”
“Oh. A September wedding. How perfect!” Carol smiled.
“Congratulations, you two.” Bradshaw winked at Max.
“That’s less than a year. We better start planning.”
Max put up his hand. “Whoa, Mom. We just set the date. Give us some time.”
After finishing cake and ice cream, Max took me upstairs to his bedroom.
“Are you okay? You look exhausted.”
“I’m really tired. It’s been a long day and I don’t think I’m fully recovered yet.”
“Then let’s get you home.” His thumb grazed over my cheek. “Nice touch about the wedding date.”
“Thanks. Your mom was getting on my nerves.” I laughed.
****
“So how did it go last night at dinner?” Kara asked as she and Molly sat across from me in the restaurant.
“I told them we set a date. September 10, 2016. I couldn’t stand Carol’s whining anymore.”
“When are you breaking it off?” Molly frowned.
“Next Friday night. We’re going to his parents’ house for dinner.” I picked at my salad.
“What’s wrong? Are you still sick?” Kara asked. “You’re barely eating.”
“Yeah. This flu is killing me.”
“Maybe it’s not the flu. Maybe you’re making yourself sick over what’s to come. It happens, you know.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to end things with Max. I know we were never a real couple, but I like being with him.”
“Maybe once all is said and done, he’ll change his mind and not want to let you go.”
“I doubt it. I almost told him the other day that I loved him. I had to catch myself and then I started to panic. What if I would have said it?”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t because there’s no telling how he might have reacted.”
The two of them finished dinner and I had mine wrapped up to go. Maybe tomorrow I’d finish it.
****
I’d spent the week going to school and then coming home and taking long naps. I hadn’t seen Max since his birthday but we talked a few times. We had put our plan in motion for tonight and I was a nervous wreck. Maybe the girls were right. Maybe I was making myself sick over this whole thing and depression seemed to be settling in. But I had a tiny piece of hope that I clung to that Max would tell me that he loved me and he’d call this whole break-up thing off.
“You ready?” he asked as he took my hand.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” My stomach was twisted in the tightest knot possible.
We sat down for dinner with Carol and Bradshaw and the game began as I looked at Max.
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t have called today. You told me you would, but as usual, you can never keep your word.”
“Not now, Emma. I already explained to you how busy I was.”
His parents looked uncomfortable as they kept their heads down while they ate.
“So is this how it’s going to be, Max? Work before me?”
“Emma, I’m not discussing this now,” he spoke through gritted teeth.
“That’s your problem. You never want to discuss anything. Half the time, I feel shut out.”
I threw my napkin down on the table and got up and walked away. Walking outside to the back patio like we planned, he followed.
“Throw your hands around. Yell. Press your finger into my chest in case they’re watching.”
I did just that. We yelled back and forth and put on a good show for his parents. I took the ring off, placed it in his hand, and stormed through the patio door.
“It’s over, Max. I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t be with a man who puts his work before me. I should be the number one priority in your life. Me, Max. Your fiancée. The girl you supposedly love.”
“Emma, please don’t do this. I’ll change. I promise.”
“You’ve already shown me that you can’t keep your promises and I refuse to live my life with someone like that. I can’t. I just can’t!”
I stormed out the front door and climbed into the Rolls Royce, where Darren was waiting for me. Tears started to stream down my face because the reality of what happened and what was to come hit me. I wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry, Emma,” Darren spoke as he handed me a tissue.
“It’s
okay. We knew this fucking day was coming and I thought I was prepared. But the truth is I love him, Darren.”
“I know you do and I’m sorry.”
My phone beeped with a text message from Max.
“My parents are highly upset. Try to get some sleep and I’ll come by in the morning.”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer him back. I continued to shake as Darren helped me from the car.
“I have faith that things will work out, Emma.”
“I doubt it, Darren. Thanks for the ride.”
“Have a good night.”
I entered my apartment and headed straight to the bedroom. After changing into my pajamas, I climbed into bed and laid my head down as the uncontrollable tears fell.
****
I could barely open my swollen eyes as I had to make my way to the bathroom to throw up. I tossed and turned all night from the nightmares I had. I splashed my face with cold water and grabbed my phone to see if Max had messaged me. He hadn’t. It was nine o’clock and I didn’t know what time he was coming over. I needed to talk to him and tell him that I was in love with him. I couldn’t just let him walk away from this not knowing. It was a risk, but I was willing to take it. As I walked to the kitchen to make some coffee, I stopped when I saw a white envelope lying in front of the door, almost as if someone had slipped it under. I walked over, picked it up, and ran my finger across my name, which was written on it. I nervously opened it and took out the white stationery that was folded inside.
My dearest Emma,
I’m writing you this letter because I can’t bear to say goodbye to you in person. Last night was one of the toughest nights of my life. Although we had this planned for the past three months, it still felt incredibly real. I’ll always cherish and never forget the time we spent together and getting to know one another. You are an incredible and loving person and you deserve only the best. And believe me, I wish I was the best, but I’m not. Not only are you the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever laid eyes on, you’re incredibly talented and smart. There’s something about you that makes people feel good when they’re around you. Even if I had the shittiest day, just knowing that I was going to see you made it all better. Call me a coward for hiding behind these words because that’s exactly what I am. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me. It’s time for me to step out of the shadow of my father and discover the man who I truly am. I’ve always dreamed of starting my own company away from my father’s and now, thanks to you, I can do just that. I know this is probably as hard for you to read as it is for me to write. I’m a flawed man, Emma, and you deserve someone who’s flawless. Because that’s exactly what you are. Promise me you’ll never stop dancing and take full advantage of what life has to offer you. I’ve opened a bank account in your name in the sum of $250,000. I don’t want you to worry about having to find a job and living expenses. I’ve also set up an account at Parsons in your name with the rest of the tuition money until you graduate. Go to school and live your dream. You deserve it. Good-bye, my sweetest Emma. Love always, Max.
I dropped the letter and fell to my knees, sobbing and shaking, trying to get hold of my emotions. The hope I had was gone and I had nothing left. I set myself up for agreeing to this proposed deal and I knew the more we became involved, the harder it would be to let go. I got up from the floor and lay down on the couch, where I spent the rest of the day. Kara and Molly came over after they finished working at the salon, and as soon as they walked in, they saw the letter on the floor. Molly bent down and picked it up while Kara came over and wrapped her arms around me and I continued to cry on her shoulder.
Chapter 20
A week had passed and I wasn’t any better. Hannah and Austin dropped by a couple of times to check up on me because I hadn’t been in school. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the apartment. All I did was sleep. On a Thursday night, there was a knock at the door. Kara was supposed to come over, so I thought it was her. To my surprise, when I opened the door, I saw Bradshaw standing there.
“We need to talk.” He stormed past me in anger.
“I’m really not up to—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you’re not up to!” he yelled. “Was this whole engagement a sham? Did you help Max out so he could collect his trust fund and leave?”
“Talk to your son. Now I want you to leave.”
I wasn’t about to talk to him about this.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me everything!” He walked up to me and grabbed my arms, gripping them tight. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? You filthy little whore!”
Suddenly, and out of nowhere, a strength rose inside of me as I got out of his grip.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again or I swear to you that I will call the police. Imagine what the headlines would say. Imagine what Carol and Fiona would say. You disgusting pig! How dare you fucking blame me for Max’s behavior. It was because of YOU that he did what he did. Always walking in your shadow, expected to be the perfect son. Your dirty affairs with all your whores you’ve had over the years and then threatening your child if he told his mother! What kind of father are you? How do you feel that you’ve scarred your son from the age of thirteen when he saw you in Hawaii fucking another woman who wasn’t his mother?”
The look on his face was complete shock. The door opened and Kara walked in.
“What the fuck is going on in here? I can hear you all the way down the hall.”
“Mr. Hamilton was just leaving,” I spewed.
He turned and walked out the door without saying a word, shutting it behind him. I stood there, trying to calm down when, suddenly, I felt an intense cramping in my stomach. I doubled over in pain and Kara ran to me.
“Emma, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I having horrible cramps.”
She lightly took hold of my arm and led me to the couch. “I was talking to a girl at the salon about how you can’t shake this flu and she said that you could be having appendicitis. That would explain your vomiting and nauseous feeling.”
“Oh God, Kara. It hurts.”
“That’s it. I’m taking you to the hospital.”
****
I lay in the hospital bed with Kara by my side when Molly entered the room.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Not so good,” I pouted.
“Any news yet?” she asked with concern.
“No. Not yet. I’ve only seen the nurse.”
A few moments later, a woman wearing a white coat walked into my room. “Hi, Emma. I’m Dr. Edmonds and I’m going to do an abdominal ultrasound on you. We sent your blood work to the lab, but they’re very backed up, so this ultrasound will let me see what’s going on and whether or not you need to be taken into surgery right away. Can you lift up your gown to right below your breasts, please?”
I did as she asked and she turned off the lights and placed the wand on my abdomen. She moved it back and forth across me and then suddenly stopped.
“May I ask that your friends step out of the room, please?”
“It’s okay, Dr. Edmonds. They’re my best friends. They can stay. Is something wrong?”
She turned her head and looked at me with a smile. “You’re pregnant.”
I gulped and Kara’s and Molly’s eyes widened as they looked at me.
“I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. I can’t be pregnant. I’m on the pill.”
“See this right here?” She pointed to the screen. “That’s the embryo and there’s the heartbeat.”
I was in shock as I stared at the screen. I went numb.
“When was your last period?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I can’t remember. I’ve been so busy over the past few months that I didn’t really pay attention.”
“The pill is only 99% effective if you take it correctly. If you skip a day or two, then double up, it can throw everything off and your chances of getting pregn
ant increase.”
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!
“Have you been under a great deal of stress lately?”
“Yes.”
She smiled as she placed her hand on mine. “It’s important that you cut the stress out of your life immediately. From what I can tell, everything looks fine and I don’t see any problems. I am going to do a vaginal check, though, just to make sure you aren’t spotting. So I’ll need your friends to step out for a moment.”
Kara and Molly walked out of the room and I placed my feet in the stirrups. Dr. Edmonds did the exam and said everything looked fine.
“I’m going to go check and see if your blood work is ready yet. Once I confirm everything there, then you can leave.”
“How far along am I?”
“You’re about six weeks. Do you have an OB/GYN?”
“No. I just moved to New York about three months ago.”
“I’ll give you the card of a wonderful obstetrician. I want you to call him and make an appointment within the week. When you do, have his office call the hospital and we’ll send over your medical file. Is the dad in the picture?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Well, you have options. I want you to go home, get off your feet for the rest of the weekend, and relax. Your baby was telling you to slow down. I’ll go tell your friends they can come back in. You can get dressed.”
Kara and Molly walked back into the room and grabbed my hands.
“You’re going to have a baby.” Molly smiled.
Kara didn’t say a word. She just gave me a sympathetic look. The three of us took a cab back to my apartment. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed.
“When are you going to tell Max?” Kara asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t know. I still have to process the fact that I’m pregnant. I can’t believe this is happening to me.” I started to cry.
“Aw, come here.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Everything will work out. You have me and Molly here plus Aubrey will be here in another month.”