The Maybe Series

by Ella Miles

  “You need to make sure you memorize everything on the passport. You need to know your name so that, if someone says it, you answer automatically. You need to make sure you know the birthday and birthplace. You need to have a back story so that you aren’t flustered if people ask.”

  “Megan Joy Slade. Born May 3, 1994, in San Diego, California. I just graduated with a degree in mathematics from UCLA. Before teaching high school math this fall, I’m spending some vacation time in”—she glances at her ticket—“Tokyo, Japan, with my new boyfriend, Justin Briggs, who was born September 19, 1986, in Nashville, Tennessee. You teach business class at the local community college.”

  I smile at how she is able to remember everything after one glance of the passports. “Wow. Impressive. You even came up with a good story. If I didn’t know better, I would suspect you of being in the FBI.”

  “Nah, I’m not FBI. I’m CIA,” she says, which makes us both laugh. Her face brightens more as a thought enters her head. “Wait…when you went undercover for the FBI at Felton Corporation, you were given a new identity, but somehow, you ended up as Killian Browne—your name with only a slight variation on the last name. You fucked up, didn’t you?”

  Now, I’m laughing at how she said the word fuck, like a five-year-old who doesn’t know the real meaning.

  “Yes, I fucked up. I said the wrong name the first time I met your father, and then all I could do was change my last name, which is just a small change from my actual last name.”

  She laughs, and it’s beautiful, seeing her laugh, even if it’s at my expense.

  “So, what was the name you were supposed to say? What name would I have known you by if you hadn’t fucked up?”

  “Harry Andrews.”

  She wrinkles her nose and then laughs again. “That’s a terrible name.”

  I laugh. “Well, I’m glad I said the wrong name then. You might never have gone for me if you thought my name was Harry.”

  We step up to the TSA agent and hand him our passports.

  “Have a nice trip, Justin,” the man says, handing back my passport.

  “Enjoy your trip, Megan,” he says to Kinsley.

  I take a deep breath. One step down and a million more to go before we make it to our destination. And I won’t be able to breathe normally until we make it to our final destination.

  We have cramp coach seats on the airplane. I’m sitting next to the window, and Killian is in a middle seat. A teenage girl with earbuds in is sitting in the aisle seat. I want to ask Killian what is going on, but I know he won’t answer as long as she is sitting next to us, even with the earbuds on. I also don’t know if he will even talk to me after she gets up since other passengers are near us. I don’t think I can wait to get more answers until we get to Tokyo.

  But I have to wait.

  I wait almost three hours into the flight before the girl gets up and goes to the restroom.

  “I need answers now,” I say in a hushed voice to Killian.

  “I can’t tell you here,” he says, glancing around the plane.

  “Killian…”

  He eyes me.

  “I mean, Justin. I need to know. I deserve to know.”

  He reluctantly leans in closer to me until his lips are right at my ear. “There isn’t much more to say. All I know is that your father met with drug traffickers in Mexico. I don’t know if he knew who he was meeting with or what the connection was, but I don’t want to wait around and possibly put your life in danger if those men thought you were ratting them out to the FBI.”

  He’s hiding something, but I don’t know what it is.

  “So, what is the plan now?”

  “We are going to go somewhere safe where the drug traffickers can’t find us. And then I will contact the FBI to explain why I did what I did.”

  “And do you think the FBI is going to be okay with you harboring a fugitive? You don’t think they will take your job for this?”

  “I think they will understand when I explain the circumstances.”

  I nod although I’m not sure if he believes the words he said. He seems worried although maybe that’s just because he’s trying to protect me.

  “Where are we going? How long will we have to stay there?”

  But I realize my time is up. He’s not going to answer any more of my questions as the girl takes her seat next to him.

  “Sleep, princess. Let me worry about everything.”

  I force my lips into a tight smile, and then I lean back and close my eyes. I try to sleep, but I can’t. All I can think about is everything that I don’t know. Everything he isn’t telling me.

  I glance over at Killian. He has a little drool running down his chin. I smile and wipe it off him. I snuggle into his shoulder. Even though I can’t sleep, I’m glad I can at least be with him.

  When we finally land in Tokyo, I’m exhausted and in need of a bed. Killian holds my hand as we get off the plane and walk through customs. I’ve been to Tokyo several times with my father. I love the city. I love the architecture and the food, so I’m excited to spend some time in Tokyo with Killian.

  We walk out to the curb, and Killian gets a taxi. He tells the driver an address, and I yawn and lean against his shoulder, barely keeping my eyes open. We drive thirty minutes before the taxi stops outside an old abandoned building.

  “I’ll pay you double if you wait for us here for five minutes,” Killian says.

  The driver agrees, and we step out of the car. I look around at where we are, but it doesn’t look like any of the hotels I have ever been to.

  Killian grabs my hand. “We need to get new passports, and then we will go.”

  “Why do we need new passports?”

  “Because I don’t want anyone to have any way to track where we are.”

  I look into the abandoned building. “How do you know this place will be able to get us new passports? How do you know about this place?”

  He frowns at my questions.

  “The FBI has connections.”

  I sigh when that’s all he says. We enter the building, but I can’t see anything. It’s so dark in here.

  “You know how you said you wanted to protect me? I’m not sure if dragging me into an abandoned building is the best way to do that.”

  He laughs at that.

  Lights come on, and an older Japanese man walks into the room.

  “Do you have the passports?” Killian asks. I don’t remember Killian calling anyone on the plane, but he must have when he went to the restroom or when I dozed off.

  The man nods and hands him the passports.

  Killian walks over to him and pulls out some cash to hand to the man. He inspects the passports and then nods his thank-you.

  “Let’s go,” Killian says to me.

  “Where to?”

  “Airport,” is all he says.

  I sigh as he leads me back to the taxi. He hands me the passport, which I study. I am now Erin Buffet. I glance at Killian’s that reads Scott Foss. I lean my head back on Killian’s shoulder and try to sleep. Who knows when I’ll get to sleep in a bed?

  We have been flying for more than thirty-six hours now. I haven’t slept in over forty-eight hours. My eyes are red and dry. My back aches from sitting in cramp plane chairs. I’m exhausted. We have been to Tokyo, Berlin, Paris, London, and now Dublin. I have no idea when we are finally going to settle somewhere or if this is my life now.

  “When’s our next flight?” I ask as we get off the plane.

  “We are here,” Killian says, smiling.

  “Oh, thank God,” I say, which just makes him smile brighter.

  He grabs ahold of my hand as we walk through customs in the busy airport.

  “Are we staying in Dublin?”

  “No.”

  I want to ask him where then, but I’m tired of getting ignored. If he ignores me one more time, I swear, I’m going to lose it, so I’ll be patient until we get to wherever we are going. Then, when we are safe, I’ll ask al
l the questions he promised he would answer.

  I follow Killian onto a bus, but it is no more helpful in telling me where we are going since there are a billion stops on this bus route, according to the man we bought our tickets from at the ticket counter. I take a seat, and Killian sits next to me. He immediately puts his arms around me so that I can rest my head on his shoulder and try to sleep.

  “Are we Erin and Scott here, or Killian and Kinsley?”

  He sighs and kisses me on the forehead. “Erin and Scott.”

  I nod sadly. I’m tired of being Erin and Scott although I already answer to the name. I don’t like Erin. Erin is tired and grumpy and hungry all the time. Erin wears crappy clothes and doesn’t do her makeup. Erin doesn’t have a future. If I think too much about it though, Kinsley didn’t have much of a future either.

  “Just sleep, princess. We still have a couple of hours’ drive ahead of us.”

  I sigh in frustration and close my eyes, but I don’t sleep. Instead, about twenty minutes into the ride, I open my eyes and look out at the green countryside as it passes by. It’s beautiful here. There are rolling hills covered in green grass with an occasional herd of sheep or goats. I glance up and notice Killian has his head rested on mine and is sound asleep. I envy him. He’s been able to sleep on every plane ride and now bus ride while I haven’t slept an ounce yet.

  I continue to watch the beautiful countryside as we drive down the curvy roads. About an hour into the ride, it begins to rain, which somehow makes the landscape even more beautiful, but unlike everyone else on the bus, it still doesn’t put me to sleep. So, instead, I count the raindrops on the window.

  About two and a half hours into the ride, the bus driver comes to a stop outside of a city called Galway.

  “This is us,” Killian says, grabbing our one bag that only has one spare item of clothing for each of us but is mostly filled with cash.

  I don’t know what we are supposed to do when we run out of cash.

  We step off of the bus and out into the rain that is no longer beautiful as I’m dripping wet.

  “This way,” Killian says, taking my hand and leading me down a city street.

  I shiver a little as the rain pelts down on top of me. We walk for twenty minutes in the cold rain until I can’t take it any longer.

  “Where the fuck are we going? I’m exhausted. I’m hungry. I’m wet and not in a good way. And, I swear, we already passed that same pub ten minutes ago. If you don’t find us a place to sleep in the next five minutes, I swear, I’m going home. I don’t care if it’s safe or not.”

  Killian’s mouth falls open a little at my words. “I’m sorry. I have a cousin who lives around here. I thought we could just stay with him, but…”

  “You are clearly lost, so let’s just see if that bed-and-breakfast back there has any availability tonight, and we can try again tomorrow.”

  I begin walking in that direction without waiting to see if Killian agrees or not. It’s a freaking bed-and-breakfast, for goodness’ sake. It’s about as safe a place as you can get. Plus, if anybody followed us and took that crazy schedule, there is no way in hell that they have enough energy to come after us tonight.

  So, I walk, and Killian follows me. Within five minutes, we are being escorted to our gorgeous room in a bed-and-breakfast. I open the door to our room, and it’s gorgeous. A huge white canopy bed sits in the center of the room with a few blue and green accents scattered throughout the room. There is a balcony leading out to the city street below and a large bathroom off the room. I don’t care about all of that though. All I care about is the bed. I immediately walk over to it and crash onto it.

  I blow out a breath as my body sinks into the heavenly bed. “You have to come try this bed. It’s amazing.”

  Killian walks over to me and leans down so that his mouth hovers over my ear. “I have some phone calls to make.”

  I frown.

  “You sleep. I’ll make some phone calls, and then I’ll join you in a few minutes. I’m going to be out in the hallway if you need me, okay?”

  I nod although it’s not okay. After the day we have had, I want his arms wrapped around me. I want to feel his warm breath on my neck as he softly kisses me until I fall asleep. I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t tell him any of that. I let him softly kiss me on the cheek. Then, he walks back out the door while I do my best to sleep alone in a strange place, in a strange country, and I still don’t know what or who we are running from.

  I’ll ask him tomorrow, I promise myself. Tonight, I need to sleep.

  I wake up the next morning and roll over, expecting to see a sleeping Killian. Instead, I find an empty bed and a note.

  Morning, princess.

  Went to find my cousin, so we will have a place to stay on a more permanent basis. They have doughnuts downstairs for breakfast, so you should be good until I get back. Don’t leave the bed-and-breakfast. Be back soon.

  ~K

  I crumble the note and toss it toward the trash can in the corner of the room. I miss, and I watch it bounce once on the floor before coming to a stop. I hate his note.

  I look at the clock that says it’s almost eleven a.m., and Killian still isn’t back yet, although I don’t know how long he’s been gone. I get out of bed and realize I’m still wearing the same clothes I was last night. I walk over to the corner of the room where Killian laid out my clothes but took the bag, leaving me with no money, no ID, nothing.

  He left me stranded.

  I take a shower, and then I change into the new clothes, which consists of a pair of jeans that’s a size or two too big and a white cotton T-shirt. I don’t look great in them, but at least I am clean.

  I head downstairs, but I am guessing that whatever breakfast was served is now long over.

  “Good morning,” one of the owners says when I make it to the lobby.

  “Good morning. Are you still serving breakfast?”

  She smiles at me. “Breakfast usually ends at ten thirty, but I think we have some leftover doughnuts.”

  “That would be great. Thank you.”

  The woman scurries into the back and pulls out a basket of doughnuts.

  “Thank you,” I say again as I take a couple out of the basket.

  “Are there any places in this area that you recommend I see while I’m here?”

  She smiles. “Well, just walking around the city of Galway is beautiful. I’d recommend seeing the nearby castle and cathedral along with the Spanish Arch. I would also stop in a jeweler and get a Claddagh ring, especially if you are here with a special someone. And if you haven’t made it to the Cliffs of Moher yet, I highly recommend that.”

  “Thanks,” I say.

  I take my doughnuts with me and then head out of the bed-and-breakfast. I walk down the street to the main city block and begin walking, taking in all of my surroundings. The town is beautiful, just like she said. I instantly fall in love with the beautiful colors of the storefronts. The stores are quaint and small, compared to the large and bright casinos I’m used to in Las Vegas. It’s so much calmer here. Everyone smiles and says hi to me here. No one is in a rush here. It’s nice. The only problem is, Killian isn’t here with me.

  I spend the day exploring many of the places the woman suggested, including the beautiful cathedral and Spanish Arch. I go into several jewelers and admire all of their Claddagh rings. And, every few hours or so, I check back into the bed-and-breakfast to see if Killian has made it back. Each time, I come up empty until I am starting to worry that something might be wrong.

  I head back to the bed-and-breakfast around dinnertime. I don’t have any cash and am thankful to find a small dinner of tea and shepherd’s pie is included. I fall in love with the tea that I sip on when Killian finally comes back.

  I glare at him when he walks in.

  “I’m sorry,” he says when he walks over to me.

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “I’m sorry. My phone calls took a lot longer than
expected, and I found out my cousin doesn’t live here anymore.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Where does he live?”

  He grimaces. “Dublin.”

  I shake my head in frustration.

  “We can take a bus tonight if you want.”

  “No. I want to stay here. At least for a few more days.”

  I can tell Killian wants to argue with me, but he doesn’t.

  He leans down to kiss me, but I brush him away. I can’t. I’m too angry with him for leaving me alone all day and for still not telling me the complete truth about why we are here. I thought today would be full of answers about why we flew around the world, but instead I got nothing but worry.

  I yawn.

  “Come on,” he says. “Let me get you to bed.”

  I stand and follow him back to our bedroom. We walk inside in silence and then begin undressing, both preparing for bed without speaking. I just take my jeans off, and then I climb into bed.

  “I still have lots of questions,” I say to Killian.

  He removes his shirt, revealing his body that I immediately want to jump. I bite my lip and look away while he continues to undress. I will not fuck him, not after leaving me alone to worry. Not after lying to me time and time again.

  “And I want to hear all of them.”

  I look at him, and my eyes brighten a little. He begins climbing into bed when his phone vibrates on the nightstand next to the bed, stopping him. He looks at the number and then to me, but I already know what he is going to say.

  “I have to take this.”

  I feel him climbing back out of bed, and he puts his jeans back on. I close my eyes and roll over as he walks out the door. A single tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t understand how I’m here with Killian, but I have never felt more alone.

  How did forty-eight hours change the course of our relationship so severely? How is it possible to feel so distant from someone I thought I loved?

  If this is the real Killian, I’m afraid I made a terrible mistake. I want the man who stood up for me in the courtroom. The man who couldn’t keep his hands off me in the bedroom. Not the man whose work and own needs come before me.