Master of None

by Shane Walker

  He can’t. Can he?

  Once we confirmed that nothing and no one had come up from the bottom floor, Nik found a nice spot and got to work on more bombs for me. As we’d planned, I started digging through corpses.

  I made a bee-line for the nearest soldiers. I didn’t get to see their equipment earlier, but I was pleased to see that they’re all carrying the Gnomish Longswords like I’d found on the surface. They were a really nice quality so I expected they would sell for a solid chunk of gold. Three of them still have their Gnomish Infantry Armor intact. One was set aside for later for me to give to Nik. It had better defense than Nik’s by about two points and apparently Artificers tended to wear heavier armor to protect themselves from their own creations.

  I briefly wished they were bigger so that it wouldn’t turn into a chainmail crop top on me, but then I realized they were much heavier than what I was used to. My consolation prize was that the soldiers each had a handful of gold on them when they died. Wages, I assumed.

  The komodos presented an interesting possibility, though.

  Alfred, can these be skinned? I mean, can you get materials for leathers and such from animals like this? I asked. Animals like this would be a great source of skins in other games.

  “Yes sir. It is a skill you will have to learn. Based on your accomplishments so far, however, I believe you can pick it up quickly by attempting to skin these lizards. You simply need to use a knife to try removing the lizard’s hide with the intent of gathering materials.” he explained.

  I luck out and find a knife on one of the soldiers that is obviously made for utility and not combat. Doing as Alfred instructed, I manage to absolutely mutilate the lizard’s flank before I finally manage to get some of the reptile’s scaly hide in a large enough piece for the game to recognize it as an item.

  You receive Komodo Hide x1!

  New Skill!

  Skinning

  Level 1

  Animals and certain monsters up to the Skill Level can be skinned without penalty. Skinning higher level enemies increases the chances of damaging or destroying available materials.

  “Sir, if I may.” I looked at Alfred after he spoke up and nodded for him to continue. “The Skinning skill is not limited to removing a creature’s hide. It also allows you to remove other useful body parts.”

  Oh, this is going to get gross I just know it. I start with trying to get as much of the hide as I can, starting with the other side of the torso and moving on to the tail. I’m met with varying degrees of success.

  Skinning has increased to Level 2!

  You receive Komodo Dragon Hide x5!

  Alfred was right! I’m not even done with my first one and I’ve already picked up the skill AND a second level. I think back to what I know about komodos in the real world and remember the big bastards are venomous on Earth and have big ass claws.

  First, I probably didn’t need to recall nature documentaries to remember the claws, since I’m staring at a dead specimen right in front of me. Second, I’m going to assume I’m just really fucking lucky and that’s why I didn’t get a nasty debuff when I was bitten during the fight. I started with the claws, but break three of the claws of the first foot and two on the second before I got the hang of it and manage to get five off of each of the last two.

  You receive Komodo Dragon Claw x15

  Skinning has increased to Level 4!

  Two increases? How did that happen, Alfred? Did the game treat the claws as separate attempts?

  “That’s correct, sir. Each claw was a separate attempt. The first two were the ones that technically increased the Skill Level. That’s why you were able to get all five claws on the last two.”

  Interesting. Thank you for clarifying so much of what goes on under the hood, by the way. I’m not sure if I ever told you.

  “Sir, I am an Artificial Intelligence purpose-built to assist you during gameplay. Your gratitude, or lack thereof, does not affect my commitment to providing guidance as required. That being said, you are very most welcome. So far, my tenure as your Guide has been most pleasant -based on my understanding of the concept- and I hope that we are able to continue working so well together.”

  I was very much taken aback by Alfred being so chatty all of a sudden. This was only my second day in-game with him, so even if he could develop something akin to human emotions, I wouldn’t have expected it to happen so quickly. Then again, he did have full access to my mind according to the Terms of Service, so I guess he was on an accelerated timetable when it came to bonding.

  Getting back to the task at hand, I decided it was time to try getting the venom sac and fangs out. I pried the mouth open and looked inside to see sharp teeth. Right before my hand touched the first one, I notice they also happen to be dripping venom.

  Perception has increased to 4!

  Well, that was another lucky break for me.

  “Hey Nik, do you have any protective gloves that would protect from venom?” I asked from where I was squatting by the corpse.

  I looked over and saw him pause his work to rummage through his things. “Yeah, there’s a pair in here that might actually fit you. They’re made for handling toxic materials and they’re too big for me, but they aren’t intended for delicate work so I make do.” he answered.

  I run over to where Nik is working, grab the gloves and return to my work. My Perception and Skinning skill tell me that I should be able to get about four teeth from an average komodo, but I only manage to get two out without breaking them to the point of being non-usable.

  You receive Venomous Komodo Fang x2!

  The venom sac required a little more “digging.” I nearly popped it, but manage to get it out in one piece.

  You receive Komodo Venom Sac!

  Now that I’ve gotten a better feel for getting parts off these things, I start to work on the other three komodos. This time, I’m able to skin them clean without damaging anything. By the time I finish, I’m able to add twenty-four pieces of hide, sixty claws, twelve fangs, and three more sacs to my collection. I’m rewarded for the dirty work with a surprising notification.

  Skinning has increased to 6!

  Minor Trait obtained!

  Use the Whole Buffalo (Minor)

  Requirement: Successfully skin at least two creatures with levels equal to or greater than your Skinning skill without damaging or destroying any parts.

  Effect: Increase effective level of Skinning skill by two!

  Note: Does not increase actual skill level, meaning it does not slow down progression or count against your maximum total skill levels.

  Neat. I imagine that’s more helpful at lower levels, but it looks like it can be improved to the point of adding a larger bonus. For now, every little bit helps. I thought to myself after reading the notification.

  Speaking of every little bit, it’s time to sort through the miners. I mean, what’s left of them at any rate.

  The game mercifully seemed to understand the intent of my actions and the ridiculous challenge of trying to sort through nearly a hundred charred kobold corpses.

  As I approached the trail of death and destruction I’d ignored on the way back down, corpses started dissolving and leaving behind what loot there was to be had. The pickaxe of every single miner survived. As I’ve come to expect, they’re gnome-made and of comparable quality to the ones we bought in town. I feel foolish now for haggling for the ones we got, but it was good for skill levels I guess.

  The miners also seemed to be carrying wages on them. While they only seemed to make about half what the soldiers made, there are twenty-four times the number of miners, so it’s still a significant amount of money.

  “Nik, you mind if we sort out the rest of the loot out at the end?” I asked when I realized how big of a pain in the ass it would be.

  “Actually, Jack, I was h-hoping you m-might be willing to take ALL of the loot when we leave. You said you’ve got some skills for getting better prices so it seems to m-make m-more se
nse for you to sell everything we’re picking up in here and then just split the money with m-me.”

  I suddenly realize I haven’t heard Nik stutter in awhile. I guess he was nervous asking for another favor? On the other hand, it’s a smart move. I can get up to 10% more gold for the loot when we sell it. Considering the sheer amount of stuff we have so far, that could mean quite a bit of extra gold.

  I’m all done with the looting, but Nik looks like he’s still hard at work on his grenades. I decide not to interrupt for now.

  “Nik, you can finish up your work. I’m going to scout the next floor. We need to know what we’re up against.” I said as I stood up to head downstairs.

  After staring at Nik for a few moments, I decide to take the fact that he hasn’t reacted in any way, shape, form, or fashion as his agreement to continue doing the thing that he had yet to stop doing. Man, that guy can hyperfocus.

  The path to the next level doubled back several times more than the tunnel coming down to the second level. If there were any light sources at the bottom, I wouldn’t be able to see them until I was almost on them. The voices coming from the final level carried into the tunnel, however.

  “It is NOT my fault that your hirelings are dead, Orc!” yelled the gravelly voice floating into the tunnel as I make my way closer.

  “Ghost Man promised Gonk REAL Orcs. Ghost Man sends tiny little kodbolbs instead! Kodbolbs no fight! Too small! Orcs fight AND mine iron for Ghost Man. Orcs get all the iron right out from under the little gnomies noses.” came an angry and deep voice in response. As the one named Gonk spoke, I could hear his jowls quiver with anger. He did not enjoy how the apparent negotiations were going.

  Perception has increased to 5!

  At Level 5, Perception allows you to see a creature’s Level and Class (If Applicable). Additional levels will allow you to see more details about creatures you encounter.

  Oh that is definitely going to come in handy as we move forward in the game.

  “Your idiotic race would have stabbed themselves to death with pickaxes in their pathetic attempts to mine long before they could be killed by interlopers. My employer has decided that you are to receive no more assistance beyond what you have already received.” came the gravelly voice in a calm, even tone.

  “We have sent nearly two hundred kobolds to you as well as your new pet,” Ghost Man continued. I got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about the “pet”.

  “And we have not received any iron in two days! My employer needs this iron and it is your job to get it through the portal. Furthermore, the gnomes and humans must not regain control of this mine. The human capital has been starved of steel and must remain so!” Ghost Man finished.

  “Bah! Gonk no care what humans have. Gonk only want orc army!”

  Wow, this guy was an idiot. I rounded another bend and saw the flicker of torches bouncing off the walls near the final turn. I’m almost there.

  “If you want your army, kill the interlopers. Kill them yourself and you shall have your army. I will return in forty-eight hours to ensure you have not failed us again. If you have, I suggest you not be here when I exit the portal.” Ghost Man says, the threat of his statement sends a chill down my spine and I’m not even the one that was threatened!

  I step up to the final turn just in time to see a spectral creature step up to a freestanding archway to the right of the room. As he does, the empty space within the archway begins to glow a sickly green. Once the space is full of this glow, Ghost Man steps through and the glow disappears along with Ghost Man.

  “Hey, Jack! Good news! I got my first critical success on crafting. I made double what I thought I could and they last for about thirty seconds each!”

  “That is good news.” I say as I look to the other side of the room to use the new bonus ability from my Perception skill.

  Name: Gonk

  Race: Orc

  Class: Level 6 Fighter

  Job: Level 2 Barbarian

  “I think we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

  Name: Midnight

  Race: Black Dragon

  Level: 10 (Young)

  12-Supply

  If the komodos were about the size of a really big dog, the black dragon was more comparable to a car. The only reason I wasn’t running up the ramp and hightailing it back to the village to turn in the quest was because it said it’s a young dragon. It made me think I might just have a chance.

  OK, that was a lie. There were actually several reasons why I wasn’t running.

  One, I really needed the money from this mine. I wasn’t sure exactly how much profit it would turn, but based on what Ghost Man said, the human kingdom really needed iron for steel.

  Two, as much as I liked to think of myself as a talker and not a fighter, I still wasn’t a coward. I definitely wasn’t the kind of guy who was going to run at the first sign of trouble.

  Three, I actually really liked the gnomes in town. It may seem odd to say about NPCs, but I wanted to help them out and getting the mine up and running was going to be good for all parties involved.

  Four, the big scaly motherfucker was already looking right at me.

  “Nik, I need you to get down here as fast as your baby legs will carry you!” was all I was able to get out before I saw the dragon suck in a big gulp of air.

  Driven by fantasy gaming knowledge and pure instinct I dove as far as I could to one side, barely avoiding the spray of what seemed to be a corrosive liquid.

  Acid breath? I’m not sure if it’s better or worse than fire.

  You dodge Midnight’s Breath Attack (Acid)!

  The spray came out in a fairly focused stream. I just hoped that it was limited because of its age and not a conscious effort to narrow the stream. A more spread attack would have been significantly harder to avoid.

  “Midnight almost get human sneak. Thank for coming to Gonk direct, human sneak. Gonk not want to look through mine for you himself.” the current overseer of the mine said as he pulled out his two-handed war hammer. Since I was watching both enemies at once I noticed the slight snarl the dragon threw in Gonk’s direction when its name was mentioned.

  Gonk either doesn’t see it or doesn’t care. I get the feeling Midnight doesn’t care for its current master.

  “I’m almost there Jack, what’s the problem? And please don’t call them baby le-IS THAT A DRAGON?”

  Without turning around, it was pretty obvious that Nik had just shown up to the party. Between him seeing the dragon and the orc and dragon turning to look his way, we were clearly all ready to party. Now I have to keep Nik from getting hit with acid.

  “Nik stay where you are and provide ranged support from there. If the dragon is about to breath your way, dip back around the corner so that the rock wall can shield you. I have an idea. We’re going to get the orc first, ok?” I instructed before he did something dangerous.

  “Got it, Jack. Just be careful. Your new ability is sharing the level and class information into the party, and we’re way outgunned here.” he cautioned.

  A smirk the current predicament didn’t deserve crept its way across my face. “Whenever your outgunned, the trick is to just turn their own guns against them.” I said as I started running at an angle that got me out from between Nik and Midnight and put me between our two enemies.

  “How cute, human sneak want to save gnomie. It ok. I kill human sneak now, save gnomie for desert!” Gonk laughed at his own joke as he ran towards me. The orc should have known better than to get lost in his own sense of humor. That’s how you miss things like an armed flash grenade rolling past you.

  You have blinded Midnight!

  Seeing the flash out of the corner of his eye was just enough of a distraction to cause Gonk to turn slightly and see what happened. Unfortunately for the ugly bastard, I was waiting for that.

  You hit Gonk for 13 damage!

  You hit Gonk for 13 damage!

  “Nik, he’s got no armor, so lay into him!”<
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  “On it, Jack!”

  Nik hits Gonk for 12 damage!

  Gonk roars in rage as the gashes from my swords and the crossbow bolt that just went into his abdomen start to add up. At least, I think he does. It was hard to hear over the deafening cry of anger coming from a blinded and pissed off Midnight. The dragon started looking around for a target and I was ready to give it one.

  You hit Midnight for 8 damage!(Crossbow bolt ignores 2 armor)

  So those scales give it a natural armor rating of 2, but our crossbows can get through that. That’s not what’s important right now though. It is good to know for when we try to kill it.

  “Hey you oversized goth iguana! You grumpy about getting blinded? Or is it because I shot your ass!” I scream in his direction. It caused Gonk to hesitate in confusion, but it gave the dragon enough noise to figure out where to shoot. Well, it thought it knew what it was shooting at. The blind debuff made sure it didn’t realize someone was between us.